Here are the 5 most common reasons why an ex will text you during no contact:
1. She just wants to check if you’re still missing her, so she can feel good about herself
Sometimes, when a woman doesn’t hear from her ex for a long time (i.e. because he’s using No Contact as a way to get her back), she might begin thinking things like, “What happened to him? I know that when we first broke up he was heartbroken and I’m almost 100% sure that if I had given him an opening, he would have asked me to get back together again. Yet, all of a sudden he stopped texting, calling or responding to my posts on social media. I wonder what he’s up to. Maybe he met another woman and is in a new relationship already. That sucks! I should get in touch with him and find out.”
She may then text him to say hi and see how he responds to her.
If he then responds to her right away with something along the lines of, “Hey, how have you been? I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately,” or “Hey, I’ve missed you! It’s nice to hear from you again,” she will get a nice self-esteem boost knowing that her ex still thinks about her and misses.
She may then decide to keep texting him and allow him to assume that it’s because she misses him too.
In the meantime, she will use the knowledge that he’s not moving on without her and is instead thinking about her, missing her and wanting her back, to feel good about herself.
She can then go out and meet new guys to have sex with, date and fall in love with, feeling confident about herself and her value, because she knows that her ex is still missing her.
Here’s the thing though…
Regardless of why your ex texts you during No Contact, don’t make the mistake of ignoring her because you believe you need to stick it out for a full 30 or 60 days.
Instead, use the opening that she is giving you to your advantage and begin re-attracting her on a phone call or in person.
The more you spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you, the less she will be able to resist feeling drawn to you and wanting to see you in person.
Then, even though she initially only contacted you to make herself feel good, she may suddenly begin thinking things like, “What is happening to me? I thought I was over him, but now I’m not so sure. He seems so different and I actually look forward to talking to him on the phone and seeing him in person. All of a sudden I miss him and the idea of losing him for real makes me feel sad. What should I do?”
When that happens, her defenses come down and she becomes open to kissing and having sex to see how she feels.
You can then fully reactivate her feelings for you (i.e. by showing her via your attitude, behavior and actions that you truly are a new man now) and then gently guide her back into a relationship.
Another thing it could mean if your ex texts you during No Contact is…
2. She misses you and a random text is her way of trying to tell you that
In some cases, when a guy suddenly cuts off all contact with his ex, it may shock her into realizing that she still has some feelings for him and that she misses him.
She might then text him to say hi and see what happens from there.
Secretly, she may be hoping that he will realize that she’s giving him an opening so that he can re-attract her and get her back.
Unfortunately though, a lot of guys miss out on that opportunity, because they waste a lot of time wondering things like, “What does it mean if your ex texts you during No Contact?” or, “Should I wait the full 30/60 days before I respond to her?”
In the meantime, if the woman doesn’t hear from him, she may take it as a sign that he doesn’t want her anymore or he’s moved on.
She will then likely not want to take the risk of being rejected by him by texting him again, so she will probably go quiet and focus on getting over him and finding herself a new man to make herself feel better.
This is why, if your ex has texted you during No Contact, don’t mess her around by not responding to her, or replying to her but acting like you’re not really interested in her anymore (e.g. because it’s not the full 30 or 60 days yet, you’re unsure of her feelings for you, you don’t want to come across as desperate).
Just take control of the situation so that you can re-attract her and get her back.
Remember: Even though your ex might be missing you and wanting to get back with you, she’s won’t wait forever for you to make a move and get her back.
Interact with her, reactivate her feelings for you and get the relationship back on track.
Another thing it could mean if your ex texts you during No Contact is…
3. She’s over you, but thought she’d say hi as a friend
Sometimes, a woman will use the No Contact period where her ex is avoiding her to fully get over him.
However, eventually she may begin thinking things like, “I wonder how he’s doing? I hope he’s happy.”
She might then text him to say hi as a friend and see what he’s been up to since they broke up.
Of course, just because a woman is over her ex when she contacts him, it doesn’t mean her feelings are set in stone and that he can’t change that.
If he uses the opening she’s giving him to reactivate some of her feelings again, she will quickly go from feeling like she’s over him to wanting to be his girl again.
So, don’t waste the opportunity of re-sparking your ex’s feelings for you by thinking negative thoughts like, “She’s probably over me,” or “She’s only being friendly. It doesn’t mean she wants to get back together again.”
Instead, play on the fact that she’s being friendly towards you and call her on the phone, where you can reawaken some of her feelings for you.
Then, when she’s feeling relaxed and enjoying talking to you again, get her to meet up with you in person to say hello as friends.
For example: You can say something like, “I’m glad you texted me to say hi as a friend. It’s really good to see that we can still be mature adults and enjoy chatting to each other with no strings attached. I think it would be great to meet sometime this week. As friends of course. Nothing more. We can catch up on each other’s news over a relaxing cup of coffee and say hi as friends in person. Let’s catch up on Tuesday or Thursday. Which day would be best for you?”
If you’ve successfully sparked her feelings for you during the call and she’s feeling relaxed and open, she will most-likely agree to catching up for a coffee.
However, in some cases, a woman might be a bit more hesitant and make some excuse to avoid the meet up.
No matter what she says though, just maintain your confidence and don’t fall into the trap of doubting yourself and your ability to attract her back into a relationship.
Relax and confidently say something along the lines of, “Hey, look – it’s just a quick cup of coffee as friends. It’s no big deal and you can leave any time you want. So, what do you say? Are you in for a quick catch up Tuesday or Thursday?”
At that point, she will probably agree and you can then go ahead and arrange a suitable day and time.
Then, when you meet up with her, make sure that you are ready to say and do the types of things that will reawaken her sexual and romantic feelings for you (e.g. maintain your confidence around her regardless of her attitude towards you, use humor to ease the tension and make her laugh and smile and feel happy that she agreed to meet up with you, let her see some of the changes you’ve made to yourself since the break up).
When she experiences the new you in person, most of her feelings of doubt about you will begin to melt away.
She will then naturally begin to see you in a different light and open up to the idea of getting back together again.
Something else it could mean if your ex texts you during No Contact is…
4. She decides to text you just to see what happens
There are times when a guy uses No Contact to get his ex back and it causes her to begin to question her decision to break up with him.
So, even though she doesn’t necessarily want him back right away, she may start wondering what he’s been doing all the time they’ve been apart, if he’s changed and if it’s not too late to work things out between them.
She may then decide to text him to see what happens from there.
For example:
- Will he reply or will he ignore her?
- Will she feel a spark when interacting with him again or will she feel nothing?
- Will he know how to reactivate her feelings for him or will he turn her off even more?
- Will she suddenly miss him and want to see him again or will she want to go back to having no contact with him?
Depending on how her responds, she will either initiate a call with him to see how she feels about him, or she will go back to the way things were before.
Here’s the thing though…
In most cases, even if a woman still has feelings for her ex and wants him back, texting him during No Contact is about as much as she will reveal.
Women want a man who has the courage to make a move, rather than having to be gently guided all the way by a woman.
So, if a guy doesn’t have the courage to do that after she initiates contact with him, she will just focus on getting over him and move on.
This is why, if you want your ex back, you need to take control of the ex back process, rather than waiting for her to hopefully give you a clear sign that she’s interested, before you make a move.
If you don’t, she might decide that you’re not man enough for her and find herself a new man who is.
Another thing it could mean if your ex texts you during No Contact is…
5. She’s bored and decides to text you just for a bit of fun
Sometimes a woman will be sitting around feeling bored (e.g. on a Sunday evening, at the office, while stuck in traffic) and thinking things like, “I wonder what my ex has been up to all this time. I haven’t heard a peep out of him for days/weeks/months. Maybe I should text him and see what happens,” so she sends him a message to entertain herself.
As far as she’s concerned, it likely doesn’t really mean anything (i.e. it’s not her way of letting him know that she wants him back) and she’s simply passing the time.
However, that doesn’t matter.
What matters is that she’s given him an opening to begin sparking her feelings for him again so that he can get her back.
Think about it this way…
A woman texts her ex while she’s bored.
Essentially she’s expecting him to be nice and sweet and have a normal conversation with her about what he’s been doing all the time they’ve been apart.
However, instead of being predictable, he uses some humor to spark her feelings and make her feel curious about his new-found confidence.
For example: She might text him something along the lines of, “Hey, stranger, how have you been?”
Yet, rather than reply in the way she’s expecting him to by saying something like, “Oh, fine. Just busy with work. How are you?” he instead responds in joking way and saying, “Who’s this?”
“Sorry, I deleted your number. Didn’t want to have my sexy ex girlfriend in my phone. Too tempting. Lol, how are you?”
She will then likely laugh and feel flattered that referring to her as being sexy.
She will also begin to feel surges of respect and attraction for you because you have the confidence, balls and emotional strength to text her like that even though you are no longer together.
She may then begin thinking something along the lines of, “What’s gotten into him? He sounds so different now. He seems so relaxed and happy. I wonder what he’s up to. I know I just texted him because I was bored, but now I want to talk to him over the phone and see him in person. ”
She will then naturally drop her guard and you can then call her on the phone to arrange a meet up (so that you can fully reactivate her feelings for you and get her back), and chances are high she will be more open to the idea, because you’ve already made her feel attracted.
What Happens Now? 3 Mistakes You Should Avoid Making if You Want Her Back
You can get your ex back right now if you want to.
It all depends on whether you make the following mistakes or not:
1. Thinking that she is in control of the ex back process
Just because your ex broke up with you and possibly even said things like, “I don’t have any feelings for you anymore. What we had is over and you need to accept that, rather than keep asking me for another chance,” getting her back is not entirely up to her (i.e. she is the only one who can decide if you and her can get back together again or not).
In fact, you have a lot of control over the ex back process.
Of course, it all depends on your approach.
For example: If you focus on making your ex woman have sexual and romantic feelings for you again, even if she tries to resist it, she won’t be able to stop feeling drawn to you again in a way that feels good to her.
As a result, her walls will begin to crumble and she will naturally go from not wanting to be in a relationship with you anymore, to being open to trying again.
On the other hand, if you ignore her for too long, or do the types of things that are unattractive to her (e.g. stick to being nice and polite around her and not sparking her feelings, letting her call the shots and dominate you, being unsure of yourself when you interact with her), it’s only natural that you will have pretty much no power over the ex back process.
So, don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s all up to your ex whether you get back together or not.
If you want her back, you have to be ballsy enough to take the lead and make it happen.
Another mistake to avoid, is…
2. Being afraid to risk rejection, so you stick to texting her and she then loses interest
Maybe your ex will reject you if you call her, but maybe she won’t.
However, if you want her back, you have to take the risk.
If you don’t and just stick to texting her back and forth, chances are high, she will stop replying to you sooner rather than later.
On the other hand, if you do call her, even if she’s initially cold or even bitchy towards you, you have a chance to show her your confidence by not letting her get to you.
As a result, she will feel a spark of respect for you again for being an emotionally strong man.
When she respects you, she will also begin to feel attracted to you and with those two things, it’s only a matter of time before she starts to reconnect with her feelings of love as well.
So, don’t be afraid of calling her, even if you think she might not like it.
It doesn’t matter what she likes.
What matters is what works and re-attracting her on a call so she wants to see you in person works almost 100% of the time.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Assuming that No Contact is the main technique that gets a woman back
No Contact can be effective if a woman still has feelings for her guy and is secretly hoping they will get back together again soon.
If she then doesn’t hear from him, it can shock her into running back to him out of fear of losing him.
Even then, she might just assume that her ex is over her and force herself to get over him and move on instead.
Another time No Contact might work is if a woman can’t find a replacement guy, so she decides to go back to her ex until someone better comes along.
However, in almost all other cases, No Contact is simply the main thing that helps a woman get over her ex and move on without the drama of having to deal with him trying to get her back.
On the other hand, what works almost every time in getting an ex woman back, is actively re-sparking her feelings of respect, attraction and love and making her feel that losing you would be a mistake.
So, do you want to sit around waiting for No Contact (30 to 60 days of not talking to her) to end and risk losing your ex in the process, or do you want to do what will get her back right now?
The choice is yours.
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