Here are 4 responses that work:
1. Agree not to get back together, re-attract her and then give her a week of space
For example: Imagine you’re at a meet up with your ex and she’s saying things like, “Forget it. I just don’t want to get back together again. Please just accept it and stop trying to change my mind.”
You can then respond with something along the lines of, “Okay, if that’s how you really feel, I won’t push you. Sure I still care for you and want us to get back together again, but I respect your decision. I wish you the best of luck and I hope you will be happy.”
Of course, just by saying that to her, you’re automatically making her feel bursts of respect for you again for being an emotionally strong and mature man and not reacting like she was afraid you would (e.g. get upset and cause a scene, beg and plead with her to change her mind, try to talk her out of her decision).
When she feels respect for you, she will also start to feel some attraction for you too.
You can then build on those feelings by making her laugh, smile and feel good around you, so that you can plant seeds of doubt in her mind that she’s making the wrong decision by not wanting to get back together with you.
For example: You can joke with her by saying something like, “I bet you thought I was going to start begging you to change your mind, didn’t you? Okay, I hate to disappoint you, so here goes…” and pretend to throw a tantrum (e.g. pretend to cry, be upset) for a few seconds before having a light chuckle to let her see that you’re only kidding.
She will most likely laugh and she will begin to wonder something like, “What’s gotten into him? He’s so different now. He’s being so confident and self-assured. I know I said that I don’t want to get back together with him, but all of a sudden I feel so confused.”
Note: It’s very important that you continue making her laugh and smile and sparking her feelings throughout the interaction with you.
Then, once she’s totally relaxed and having a good time, you need to wrap things up with her (i.e. finish up what you’re doing), then say something like, “Okay, I guess this is goodbye then. Take care of yourself. Bye” and leave.
Then, don’t contact her at all (not even one text) for a week.
If you’ve properly sparked feelings of romantic and sexual attraction inside of her before giving her the week of space, she will be thinking about you and wondering if she’s made the right decision.
If she hasn’t contacted you after a week, contact her to say hi and then guide her through the ex back process.
Another way you can respond if your ex says that she doesn’t want to get back together is…
2. Agree with her decision and get her to be open to a friendship
For example: You might say something like, “If that’s how you feel, I totally respect your decision. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends. We’re both mature adults and we can still enjoy each other’s company from time to time with no strings attached, right? So, let’s try that for a while. Then if you decide you don’t even want to be friends, I promise I’ll back off and leave you alone.”
In most cases, a woman will likely respond with something like, “Oh, okay. I guess we can still be friends.”
Alternatively, if she wants to get rid of you, she might agree in the hope that she can eventually take you up on your promise to leave her alone.
Of course, that’s not going to happen, because you’re going to use the friendship to re-attract her.
For example: Some of the ways you can do that are by…
- Maintaining your confidence with her regardless of what she says or does to make you feel inadequate or like she’s not interested in you anymore.
- Being a good man, but also being confident and assertive when talking to her, so she can see that she can’t dominate you during conversations.
- Believing in yourself and in your value and attractiveness to her, rather than doubting yourself and making her feel like she needs to find herself a better man than you as a result.
- Making her smile and laugh and feel relaxed to be around you again, rather than trying to convince her to get back together again.
- Flirting with her to create sexual tension, rather than being too nice or neutral and giving her the impression that you’re not interested in her anymore.
- Showing her that you’re now at a new level as a man and that she can truly look up to you, respect you, feel attracted to you and love you, rather than continuing to make the same old attraction mistakes as before.
The more you continue saying and doing the types of things that build on her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you, the more she stops seeing you as just a friend.
She then naturally begins to fall back in love with you and want you back for herself.
Important: Don’t make the mistake of hanging around her and pretending that you only want to be her nice, neutral friend and that you’re not sexually interested in her anymore, because if you do that she may take it as a sign that you’re not interested in her anymore.
If she thinks that, she will then hook up with other guys to move on without you.
Another way you can respond if your ex says that she doesn’t want to get back together is…
3. Pretend to get angry about it and then laugh and say that it’s fine
For example: You might frown, seem annoyed and say something along the lines of, “I don’t accept that you don’t want to get back together again! You can forget about it if you think I’m ever going to let you walk out on what we had. You are going to be my girl again whether you want to or not and that’s final!”
At this point your ex will likely look shocked and she may even say something like, “What?” or “Are you crazy?”
You can then burst out laughing and say, “Okay, stop looking so angry and stressed out. I was just kidding with you. I promise I’m not going to kidnap you, lock you in my basement and force you to be my girl for the rest of your life. Haha! You should have seen your face when I said that to you.”
She will then likely laugh with you and maybe feel a bit embarrassed for getting caught out by you in that way.
She will also feel some attraction for you for having the balls to say and do that, rather than being so cautious and afraid to say something wrong.
Why?
Being on his best behavior around a woman makes a guy seem emotionally weak, wimpy and that turns her off.
A woman doesn’t want to feel as though her guy needs her reassurance, love, attention and approval to feel confident and sure of himself.
She also doesn’t want to feel as though she is the one in control of the relationship.
She wants him to be assertive and take control, but still be a loving, good man while he’s doing it.
It’s not about being rude to her, insulting her or disrespecting her.
Instead, it’s about having the emotional strength to not take what she is saying so personally and just bring the interaction back to laughter and fun.
Think about it this way…
When you and your ex are both laughing and joking together, it makes it very difficult for her to hold on to her negative emotions about you (e.g. anger, disappointment, regret).
She then starts to feel good around you, even if she initially doesn’t want to admit that to you, or even to herself.
When that happens, her guard starts to slip down and she begins to open back up to wanting to give the relationship another chance.
That makes her more willing to interact with you on the phone and in person, which means you have more chances to fully reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
Another way you can respond if your ex says that she doesn’t want to get back together is…
4. Get her to agree to at least remain friends on Facebook
If your ex is being closed off towards you and saying things like, “I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep seeing each other or even talking over the phone. We need to make a clean break so that we can both heal and move on,” rather than accept that and then potentially lose all contact with her (which makes it more difficult for you to be able to re-attract her and get her back), you can say something along the lines of, “Okay, I accept that you don’t want to see me or talk to me over the phone, but at least let’s stay friends on Facebook. We will then be able to get in touch with each other from time to time to say him without any pressure. We can do that, right? It’s not that big of a deal.”
Chances are high that you ex will agree to that, because she won’t feel pressured by you to get back together again.
You can then use Facebook to re-attract her and make her miss you.
How?
By posting photos of yourself having fun with other people (e.g. going to parties, events, festivals), so she can see you’re happy and getting on with your life without her, rather than sitting around all day moping and worrying about how to get her back.
Instead, you are emotionally independent and feel good about yourself and your life without her.
A woman won’t admit that she wants you to feel that way without her, but secretly she will like it and she will feel drawn to you again in a way that feels good.
She may then start to miss you and begin to wonder if she made the right decision to cut you out of her life by refusing to talk to you over the phone or see you in person.
You can then message her to have a chat and then transition to a phone call and then meet up because she will be more open to that by then.
When she experiences the new and improved you for herself (e.g. you’re more confident and self-assured now, you’re more emotionally independent, you’re more ballsy and assertive), she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling respect for you again.
When she starts respecting you again, she then also begins to feel sexually attracted to you again.
When those two emotions are reactivated, it becomes difficult for her to continue being closed off towards you.
She feels drawn to you and realizes that there is clearly still a spark between you and her and she felt it when she interacted with you.
When that happens, her defenses come down and she then becomes open to interacting with you even more to see where things go from there.
3 Mistakes to Avoid Making With an Ex Who Says That She Doesn’t Want to Get Back Together
If you approach the ex back process in the correct way, you can easily get your ex back.
However, if you don’t, you may end up turning her off even more.
This is why, you need to be sure that you’re not making these mistakes with your ex right now:
1. Thinking that the way to get an ex back is to ask for another chance at the relationship
A lot of guys make the mistake of thinking that the only way to get an ex back is by asking her to give them another chance.
For example: A guy might call his ex on the phone and say something like, “I’m really sorry for what happened. I know that I made mistakes and I hurt you, but I really do care for you deeply and I want to try and work things out. Please will you consider getting back together again?”
From there, his ex can then say “Yes” or, “No” and in his mind, he then has to live with whatever decision she makes.
Yet, that’s not the way to get an ex back at all!
Here’s the thing…
If you give your ex control of the ex back process, she’s going to feel more emotionally dominant than you, which is a turn off to her.
She’s then likely just going to say “No,” because you haven’t done anything to spark her feelings for you.
On the other hand, if you take control the ex back process and focus on making her have sexual and romantic feelings for you again, she’s going to want to get back together again, without you even needing to bring it up.
It will just happen, because it’s what she wants for her own reasons (e.g. she feels attracted to you, she’s realized that you’re the man for her and she doesn’t want to lose you).
So, don’t make the mistake of thinking that the way to get your ex back is to ask for another chance at a relationship with her and wait for her to decide.
If you want her back, you have to be ballsy enough to take the lead, reactivate her feelings for you and make it happen.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Trying to get her to agree to a relationship when the feelings aren’t even mutual yet
When a guy gets broken up with and he realizes that he’s losing the woman he loves, he might begin to panic.
He may then think to himself, “I can’t let this happen. I have to do whatever it takes to convince her to give us another shot.”
He might then repeatedly text, send messages via social media, e-mail and call his ex on the phone and saying things like, “Please give me just one more chance! I promise that this time I will do whatever it takes to make it work between us. Please!”
Essentially he’s hoping that when she sees how committed he is to getting her back, she will be impressed and she will then give him another chance.
Yet, even though he’s being sincere, that’s not what makes a woman want to get back with her ex.
Here’s the thing…
When a woman has lost touch with her feelings of love, respect and attraction for a guy and then breaks up with him, rather than feeling flattered that he’s putting in so much effort to get her back, she will more-likely feel annoyed by his constant pestering.
She doesn’t have feelings for him anymore, so the idea of being in a relationship with him just doesn’t appeal to her.
She may then want to distance herself from him (e.g. block his number on her phone, unfriend him on social media, avoid him if they happen to be in the same place at the same time), which makes getting her back a lot more difficult for him.
So, if you want your ex girlfriend to want to get back together again, you have to stop pushing her for a relationship and start making her feel strong surges of respect, attraction and love for you based on your new and improved behavior.
The more drawn to you she feels, the more the idea of being your girl again starts to appeal to her.
On the other hand, if you keep pushing her to give you another chance without sparking her feelings for you, she will continue to push you away and say, “No! I’m just not interested.”
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Giving up too easily if she doesn’t initially show a lot of interest
Sometimes a woman won’t be very enthusiastic the first time her ex reaches out to her after a break up.
In some cases, she may even be cold, aloof or even bitchy and say things like, “What do you want? Why don’t you just accept that it’s over between us and leave me alone?”
Naturally, when a guy hears something like that, rather than just take it for what it is (i.e. that she’s not fully re-attracted to him yet and that he can change that pretty quickly by re-activating her feelings for him), he instead starts to doubt himself and his chances with her.
He might then simply give up and walk away.
As a result, he loses out on getting her back.
Don’t let that happen to you.
If your ex doesn’t seem to be very enthusiastic about interacting with you again right away, it doesn’t mean she won’t be interested after you’ve sparked her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
So, just stay confident in yourself and in your attractiveness and value to her and continue to interact with her every chance you get.
During the interactions focus on making her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to you again.
Before long, she will drop her guard and open back up to you again.
You can then guide her back into a relationship with you and enjoy the great times ahead.
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