4 possible options for you to choose from:
1. Pick up your phone, call her, re-attract her and get her to meet up with you
When a guy uses No Contact after a break up, it’s usually because he wants to give his ex enough space to make her miss him, so that he can get her back.
So, one of the best things you can do after the No Contact period is to not waste any more time and just call your ex woman on the phone to get the ex back process started.
When you get her on a call with you, focus on getting rid of any awkward tension that might be there (i.e. because you and her haven’t spoken in a few weeks or months) by using some humor to get her smiling, laughing and feeling good to finally be hearing from you again.
For example: Imagine she answers your call and says something along the lines of, “It’s been ages since I last heard from you. What do you want?”
Rather than be put off by her cold and unfriendly manner, use it as an opportunity to make her feel some sparks of attraction for you instead.
You can do that by maintaining your confidence and saying something like, “I guess this isn’t a good time to ask you for a favor then, is it?”
In most cases, the woman will be curious that her ex is calling her out of the blue to ask for a favor and she might ask something like, “What favor?” or “What do you want from me?”
You can then respond in a joking way and say something along the lines of, “Well I’m currently live on ‘Who Wants to be a Millionaire’ and I’m calling you as my ‘Phone a friend’ lifeline. There are currently hundreds of thousands of people watching and listening. However, if you don’t want to help me out, that’s cool. I’ll just forfeit my millions.”
She will likely be a bit shocked and say something like, “What!” or “Oh my goodness!” and you can then laugh and say, “Only joking! You know I’d suck at answering general knowledge questions live on TV.”
At this point she will almost certainly laugh and feel a bit relieved not to actually be live on national TV and she may say something like, “I can’t believe you tricked me like that!” or, “You’re so crazy!”
More importantly, she’s also going to feel a burst of respect and attraction for you for having the balls to joke with her in that way after so many days of No Contact.
You can then build on those initial feelings for a few more minutes and get her to agree to meet up with you in person, where you can fully reactivate her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you (i.e. by letting her experience the new and improved you in person) and get her back.
Another example of what to do after the No Contact period is to…
2. Send out a feeler text to see what reaction you get
Another option after the No Contact period is to send your ex a text to say “Hi” and see how she responds.
For example: In a best case scenario, she might text back with something like, “Hey, where have you been? I’ve been thinking about you.”
You can then call her, re-spark some of her feelings on the call and arrange a catch up with her.
Yet, things don’t always play out as a best case scenario.
Sometimes the worst possible scenario happens in your situation.
Here’s the thing…
The risk of basing your entire ex back process on your ex’s response to a feeler text, is that if she doesn’t reply to you, or if she says something like, “What do you want?” or, “Why are you texting me? What we had ended ages ago and I’ve moved on,” you may lose hope and give up on getting her back.
Here’s the thing…
Just because a woman doesn’t seem excited to be hearing from you, it doesn’t mean that she’s not secretly happy to be hearing from you.
However, she’s not necessarily going to show you that right away, especially when you’ve been ignoring her for a few weeks or months.
Instead, she’s usually just going to be cold and aloof, or in some cases, she’s even going to ignore you back by not replying to you, and she’s going to wait and see if you maintain your confidence and continue to interact with her, or if you’re going to give up and disappear out of her life permanently.
So, it’s very important that if you do send your ex feeler texts after the No Contact period, you don’t give up too quickly.
If you do, you’ll never find out the truth about how she really feels about you.
Then you may end up missing out on your chance of getting her back, because you didn’t believe enough in yourself and in your ability to re-attract her.
Don’t make that mistake.
Believe in yourself, remain confident regardless of how she responds and get her back.
Another example of what to do after the No Contact period is to…
3. Wait longer and see if she contacts you
Although this is definitely an option you might take, it’s usually the worst option. Why?
If your ex hasn’t already contacted you during the No Contact period, chances are, more time isn’t going to make much of a difference.
Instead, a few more days might be the final straw for her (i.e. if she’s been waiting around and hoping you will get in touch with her).
She may then decide that you’re definitely not interested in her anymore and she will then focus on fully getting over you and moving on, usually by hooking up with another guy.
If you then finally decide to call her after even more time (e.g. another few weeks or months), you may be disappointed to hear her say something along the lines of, “I waited and waited to hear from you after we broke up, but you never even called me once. So, I worked on getting over you and now I’m with another guy and I’m happy. Please don’t contact me again, because what we had is over. Bye.”
Another example of what to do after the No Contact period is to…
4. Get her smiling or laughing via text to bring down her guard before you call her
Texts are great when you send them to someone who likes you (i.e. a girlfriend, a friend or a family member).
In a case like that, you can say things like, “Hi. How are you?” or, “I’ve been thinking about you and I wanted to say hi,” and it will be okay, because the person on the other end will be happy to be hearing from you.
However, when someone doesn’t like you (i.e. an ex girlfriend), texting unexpectedly just to say hi, is not a good idea. Why?
Texts can easily be misinterpreted in a negative light by an ex who has negative feelings towards you and she will almost always look at your texts as being annoying, stressful and unwanted.
So, if you want your ex woman to respond to your text after you’ve been using No Contact on her, you need to make sure that you use humor to break the ice and make her smile, laugh and feel good to suddenly be hearing from you again.
She can then begin to think something like, “Wow, he sounds different? I’m actually laughing and enjoying texting with him. I never thought I’d feel this way after he ignored me for so long, but now I’m curious about what he’s been up to all this time and why he’s changed so much. I wonder if it’s real, or if it’s just an act via text.”
She then becomes more open to the idea of talking to you on the phone.
You can then call her, re-spark her feelings for you even more and get her to meet up with you so that you can get her back for real.
Where Guys Go Wrong After Using No Contact
Here are 7 mistakes you should avoid making after the No Contact period if you want to get another chance with your ex:
1. Sticking to text and never getting to a phone call and then meet up
Sometimes a guy feels really nervous about reconnecting with his ex after using No Contact.
So, to begin with, he sends her a feeler text to see how she will respond.
Unfortunately, if his ex then replies to him and sounds like she’s open to interacting with him, he makes the mistake of thinking that she will give him a sign when she’s ready to talk to him on the phone.
As a result, he sticks to texting her back and forth.
Of course, in almost all cases, a woman won’t give a guy the sign he’s waiting for (i.e. that she wants him to call her), so when she realizes that all he’s going to be doing is texting her, she begins to get bored.
In some instances, an ex woman will continue interacting with her ex while at the same time, she actively moves on and hooks up with other guys.
Alternatively, a woman might decide that keeping up a texting relationship with her ex is a waste of time and she may then eventually respond to him less and less, until one day he realizes she’s not texting him at all anymore.
Here’s the thing…
Texting an ex after No Contact should only be used as a way of getting her on a phone call to arrange a meet up.
Texting cannot be the main method of getting her back.
If you leave it too long to re-attract her in person, she will experience stronger in-person feelings with other guys that she meets and she will quickly become bored, annoyed or disinterested by your texts.
You may then lose her for real.
So, don’t let that happen to you.
To get her back you have to call her on the phone and then meet up with her in person, where you can fully reactivate her feelings for you and make her want to give you another chance.
Another mistake is…
2. Overanalyzing her text replies in a negative way
Making a big deal about your ex’s every comment is the fastest way to plant seeds of doubt in your mind about your chances of getting her back.
You may then begin to say and do things that come across as needy or desperate to her and turn her off.
She might then pull away (e.g. stop responding to your texts), turning your doubts into reality.
So, stop driving yourself crazy by overanalyzing your ex’s texts and just do what needs to be done to get her back.
Re-attract her on a phone call and then in person and from there, get to a hug, kiss, sex and a relationship.
Another mistake is…
3. Giving up if she doesn’t seem keen to start a relationship again
Even when a woman has really missed her ex during the No Contact Period, chances are high that she’s not going to make it obvious to him when he first contacts her again.
Instead, she’s usually going to be neutral around him, or even offish and wait to see what her ex’s next move is going to be (i.e. Is he going to re-spark her feelings of respect, attraction and love or is he going to continue turning her off in the same old ways as before?).
This is why you need to show her via your actions, behavior and the way you respond to her that you’re a new man now (e.g. more confident, more emotionally masculine, more assertive).
Then you need to interact with her and actively spark her feelings for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile and feel good to be talking to you again, flirting with her to create sexual tension).
When you make her feel sexually and romantically attracted to you again, her guard comes down and she opens back up to you quickly and easily.
Another mistake is…
4. Writing big, long texts about his feelings
Sometimes a guy wants to make it clear to his ex that even though he wasn’t interacting with her for weeks or even months, he still has strong feelings for her.
So, he then sends her long texts saying things like, “All this time I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind or my heart. What we had together was special and I want to get that back.”
Yet, rather than feel flattered that he values her so much, it almost always turns a woman off.
Why?
When a woman cannot see you in person and assess your non-verbal communication (e.g. your body language, tonality of your voice), she has to guess what you would be acting like if you said that type of thing to her in person.
If she currently doesn’t have any feelings for you and instead sees you in a negative light and she then gets a long text where you are pouring your heart out to her in a soppy, romantic or sensitive way, she is going to imagine negative things about you.
For example: She’s likely going to think…
- You were feeling insecure when you wrote it.
- You rewrote certain sections over and over again.
- You’re too unsure of yourself to say that to her in person.
- You lack the confidence to call her or meet up with her.
She will then remain closed off, because in her mind she doesn’t see any reason to give you another chance.
Another mistake is…
5. Texting her to ask if she has changed her mind
If you ask your ex if she has changed her mind about being broken up via text, before you’ve actually re-attracted her on a phone call and in person, chances are high that she will answer you based on her current feelings for you (i.e. un-attracted, lacking in respect, no longer in love).
If she’s a nice person (most women are), she might try to let you down easy by saying something like, “I really do care for you, but I’m not ready to be in a relationship right now. Let’s just stay friends for now and who knows… maybe one day in the future we can try again.”
However, in her mind she will know that she won’t get back with you again until you’re able to re-attract her in the ways that are important to her.
So, don’t ask your ex if she’s changed her mind.
Make her change her mind by re-sparking her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you over the phone and most importantly, in person.
Only then will she want to give you another chance.
Another mistake is…
6. Trying to discuss the relationship via text
Without re-attracting your ex first on a phone call or in person, discussing the relationship with her will be something she will want to avoid.
Then if you go one step further and try to do it via text, you will actually end up doing more harm than good.
Here’s the thing…
When you keep bringing up the relationship and all your mistakes (without having reactivated her feelings for you again), it usually only highlights to your ex all the reasons why she broke up with you in the first place.
She then puts up her guard even more and refuses to get into it with you.
It then becomes a lot more difficult for you to convince her to meet up with you in person so that you can fully reactivate her feelings and get her back, because she’s feeling closed off and defensive.
So, leave discussions about the relationship until after you’ve re-attracted her and then only when you’re face-to-face with her.
Another mistake is…
7. Being too neutral, nice or cute via text and turning her off as a result
A guy might sometimes be too afraid to flirt with his ex via text, because he fears that she might get offended and then stop interacting with him.
As a result, he texts back and forth with her in a neutral, sweet, non-sexual way, in the hope that things will slowly evolve from there into a new relationship with her.
Yet, in most cases, when a guy is just being neutral with an ex, rather than feel drawn to him for being such a sweet gentleman and not pushing her for anything more, a woman begins to feel annoyed and starts thinking things like, “What does he want? What is the point of his texts? I just don’t know what he’s getting at. Does he want to be friends or does he want to get back with me? This is just such a waste of my time.”
She may then start responding to him less and less until one day she ignores him altogether, leaving him wondering what he did wrong.
Here’s the thing…
If you want to get your ex back after the No Contact Period, you need to make sure that all your interactions with her, whether via text, social media, on the phone or in person, are sparking her feelings of attraction for you.
That means you can’t be nice, sweet or neutral.
Instead, you need to flirt with her and create some sexual tension between you and her.
The more attracted you make her feel in a way that feels good to her, the more she will want to see you in person to release these feelings with kissing, sex and a new relationship with you.
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