If you’re wondering what to text your ex after a break up because you’re hoping that if you say the right thing she’ll give your relationship another chance, you’re most-likely approaching the ex back process in the wrong way.
To get your ex to forgive you and be willing to take you back, you have to focus on making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you as a man when she interacts with you on a phone call and in person.
You can get a little bit of respect and attraction back via text, but the most powerful moments happen when you talk to her on the phone and interact with her in person.
Of course, if you are looking for some examples of what to text your ex after a break up, here’s what I recommend:
- Directly after the break up: “I just want to let you know that I accept the break. I love you and of course I’d be happy if we were together, but I will accept the break up and move on.”
- A week later: Try to call her and if she doesn’t answer, send her this text, “Hey Jenny – I was just calling because I have something quick I wanted to ask you over the phone. I guess you are busy at the moment. I might try to call you another time.” The quick thing that you wanted to ask her was to catch up in person. The full wording of how to get a meet up with your ex is provided in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
- A month later (if you haven’t met up with her to get her back): “Love you.”
With the third text message example above, you are simply saying, “Love you” because if she is missing you by then, she will text back.
Of course, if she isn’t missing you, then you haven’t been approaching the ex back process correctly.
If you want to get your ex back, you have to re-spark her feelings for you rather than just ignoring her and hoping that she misses you and wants you back.
Why? Watch this video…
As you will discover from the video above, ignoring your ex isn’t going to achieve much if she doesn’t currently have feelings for you.
It will sometimes cause an insecure woman to come running back, but if your ex doesn’t want anything to do with you, she’s not going to care if you ignore her and she’s also not going to feel much when you text her.
Why You Shouldn’t Use Text as Your Main Weapon to Get Her Back
Right now, your ex is most likely thinking of you in a negative way.
So, getting a text message from you will usually just reinforce all the negative thoughts and memories she’s already having about you and your failed relationship.
For example: If a guy was behaving in a needy, clingy, insecure or jealous way during the relationship and then sends her a simple text like, “Hi Cindy. I just wanted to ask how you are doing? Are you okay?” how do you think she will perceive it?
Will she be thinking, “Oh, how sweet. My ex is being so nice and caring. I miss him so much, I just wish we could get back together again,” or might she instead think something like, “Here we go again! So annoying. Even now that we’re broken up he’s being needy and insecure. He cares about my feelings…big deal. I bet he’s only texting me to find out what I’m doing and who I’m with because he’s a mess without me. I wish he would just leave me alone.”
From his point of view, he is just being a friendly ex who is just checking to make sure she’s okay.
However, in her mind, she will assume that he’s just up to his usual needy, insecure tricks and will then feel turned off by him.
Here’s the thing…
In a text message, your ex has to guess at what tonality you are using and at your state of mind (e.g. are you feeling confident and positive, or are you being a needy, hurting guy).
In most cases, she is going to think in a negative light, which is why you shouldn’t try using text as your main way of getting her back.
What should you do instead?
Get Her On a Phone Call and Let Her Hear and Experience Your Confidence Coming Through
According to various studies by psychologists and social scientists, the communication between two humans is comprised of about 70-90% body language and tonality.
So, if you want to get your ex to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, the best way to do that (apart from meeting up with her in person) is to get her on a phone call so that you can shock her (in a positive way) out of the way she is thinking about you right now.
For example: If right now she’s thinking, “I’m so glad he’s out of my life,” you want her to feel attracted to you over the phone and begin thinking, “I think I made a mistake, I really miss him. I wonder if he would like to get back together again?”
So, just pick up the phone and give her a call, get her to experience your confidence and make her laugh and feel good to be talking to you.
Then get her to agree to a meet up with you just one last time (don’t worry, it won’t be if you use my attraction and persuasion techniques on her), where you can continue to regain her respect and attraction for you.
What should you do if your ex isn’t answering your calls?
If you were calling her non-stop after the break up and she’s no longer answering your calls, make sure that you avoid the following mistakes:
- Calling her when it’s not convenient for her (e.g. during work or class, too early in the morning or late at night).
- Calling her over and over again throughout the day (e.g. every 10 minutes or half and hour).
- Texting her and ask her why she’s not picking up the phone.
As mentioned earlier in this post, what you can do instead is:
- Call when she’s available.
- Only call once and if she doesn’t answer send her a quick text message saying something like, “Hey Kate. I just tried to give you a call because there’s something I need to ask you. It looks like you’re busy right now. I might try getting in touch some other time.”
- She will either call you back, or she will text you to ask what you want.
- If she calls you back, go ahead and say and do the things that will get her feeling respect and attraction for you again (e.g. make her laugh, apologize for what happened between you) and then arrange a time to meet up with her.
- If she sends you a text, don’t text back, just call her again.
- If she doesn’t answer, leave it a few minutes and call again.
- If she still doesn’t answer, just send the emoticon with the tongue sticking out 😛 on it’s own.
- If she doesn’t reply to that, wait for a couple of days and try to call her again.
- If she doesn’t answer, send her this text, “Hey Kate, as mentioned – there’s something quick I wanted to ask you over the phone. Can you chat for a minute now?”
Eventually she’ll be so curious to find out what you want to ask her that she will answer your call. Then go ahead and do what you would do in step #4 (see above).
4 Mistakes to Avoid When You Text Your Ex After a Break Up
When texting your ex after a break up, make sure that you avoid these common mistakes…
1. Constantly apologizing to her via text message.
It’s only natural for a guy to want to apologize to his ex for whatever happened to cause the break up.
However, apologies are best done face-to-face.
The second best way to do it is on a phone call, but it’s nowhere near as powerful as looking her in the eyes and giving her a confident, relaxed, mature apology.
Nothing about a text message can convince your ex that you mean what you’re saying if she can’t see your face, read your body language and hear the sincerity in your voice.
It doesn’t matter how many texts you send to her, nothing is as powerful as saying sorry in person.
If a guy (who was insecure in the relationship) apologizes to his ex girlfriend (fiancé or wife) via text, it’s possible that she may think, “What a wimp. He doesn’t even have the balls to face me and say that it in person. He has to hide behind a text message rather than face me like a man.”
If you need to apologize, make sure you do it face-to-face when you meet up with her.
However, when you do apologize, say it in a confident, mature, sincere and relaxed manner. Don’t apologize like you are groveling or sucking up to her or seeking pity.
Just relax, admit your mistakes like a man and say sorry for it.
Saying sorry to her isn’t the way to get her back, but at least by saying it right, you will make her feel SOME respect and attraction for you again.
Regardless of how much you hurt your ex, she doesn’t want you to turn into an emotional wuss who apologizes over and over again and tries to suck up to her.
She wants you to be a good, loving, respectful man, but she doesn’t want you to get down on your knees and beg for forgiveness.
2. Lying about being with other women.
Sometimes a guy feels that if he lets his ex know how well he is doing without her (e.g. he’s going out a lot, is dating other women), she will get jealous and want to get back together with him.
However, if a woman is not feeling a lot of respect and attraction for her ex, this plan will more than likely backfire.
Sure, she might be curious to find out what he’s up to, but she won’t just come back to him because she’s feeling jealous. In fact, if she’s still feeling hurt and angry about the break up, she will likely be thinking, “Good riddance!”
3. Constantly contacting her.
Sending your ex loads of pointless texts just to stay in touch with her will usually do nothing but annoy her further.
If you want to get your ex back, you must meet up with her in person and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you face-to-face.
4. Asking her to explain what you did wrong and how to fix it.
A big mistake that guys make, is send their ex a text asking her what went wrong and what he can do to make her forgive him.
He might text her something like, “Just tell me what I did. I promise you, whatever it is you want me to change, I’ll do it, just tell me what you want me to do,” thinking that it’s what she wants hear.
However, a woman doesn’t want to have to be a guy’s teacher, or worse, his mother and have to teach him how to be more of a man. If she has to do that, it will only destroy her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him even more.
So, if you’re serious about getting your ex back, you have to figure this stuff out for yourself. Then, when you meet her in person, you can show her that you’ve understood her and made the necessary adjustments that will make her respond to you more positively.
Did You Know That Approximately 50% of Couples Get Back Together Again After a Break Up?
Getting back with your ex is no longer a mysterious process that you will never know anything about.
I’ve cracked the code to getting women back and 100s of guys from all over the world have already used my system to get their ex girlfriend, fiancé or wife back.
You can do it too.
Not only is it possible, but it’s actually pretty easy when you know how to do it.
As one of my happy customers said to me, “It’s scary how quickly it worked. She hated me and now we’re back together.”
It’s true.
The way that love can come flooding back into a woman’s heart can seem a little scary and confusing for guys, but that’s just how nature works.
When you flick the right switch in a woman’s mind, she can’t stop herself from wanting to give the relationship another chance.
So, rather than worrying too much about what to text to your ex after a break up, just pick up the phone and call her to arrange a meet up.
At the meet up, you can then make her feel respect for you again (e.g. by showing her that you’ve changed, making her feel understood) and begin triggering her feelings of attraction.
As you do that, she will naturally begin to reconnect with the love and (if you’re using my techniques) she will have stronger feelings for you than she’s ever had before.
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