In many cases, a woman will get back with a guy when she sees that he has changed.
Yet, what does he need to change and how can he show that to her in a way that makes her want him back?
Here are 11 things you should let your ex see or experience, so she believes that you have changed and wants to be back with you:
1. When she senses that you have changed the subtle things that turned her off
Some of the subtle things that turn a woman off about a guy in a relationship, can include:
- How he becomes insecure when she challenges him during a conversation (e.g. she pretends to disagree with him).
- How he always tries to say the right thing around her, rather than taking the risk to just be himself.
- How he gives her too much power during a conversation (e.g. agrees with what she says, to avoid having to stand up to her confident personality).
- How he seems to be uncomfortable when he makes a move on her physically.
- How he seems to worry about her potentially feeling attracted to other guys, rather than seeing himself as being more than good enough for her and not worrying about other guys.
Can you relate to any of the above, or think of any subtle things you did that turned her off?
They’ll almost always be the things that she didn’t tell you about when breaking up with you, but are secretly most important to her in terms of having true feelings for a guy.
Once you have identified the subtle things you did to turn her off, it’s absolutely essential that you fix them, or adjust your behavior to no longer turn her off like that.
When she experiences your new, attractive behavior, she will believe that you have changed, without you having to say, “I’ve changed. Please give me another chance” or anything like that.
She will feel it herself and naturally open back up to you as a result.
Another thing that will make her believe you’ve changed is…
2. When you are able to attract her in ways that she wasn’t expecting
If you don’t change your approach to attraction with her, she’s almost certainly not going to feel motivated to give you another chance.
For example: A woman will sometimes want her boyfriend to stop being so insecure, soft and nice around her.
Yet, due to her experience with guys, she will know that most guys simply have no idea how to attract women and rely on getting lucky.
She will also know that most guys don’t know how to fix their unattractiveness and start being magnetically attractive to a woman.
As a result, she won’t be expecting her ex boyfriend to suddenly be confident enough to use a playfully challenging approach with her (e.g. if she creates some drama about how he hurt her and she can’t forgive him, he laughs at her in a loving way and tells her to stop being a drama queen, rather than getting upset or sucking up to her to seek pity).
All of sudden, she realizes that he has grown a pair of balls and is much more confident, but isn’t being an asshole about it.
He laughed at her in a loving way, not in a disrespectful, demeaning way.
He also didn’t react with his usual approach of getting upset, or sucking up to her to hopefully get her to take pity on him.
For once, she didn’t find herself looking down on him in disgust, due to his emotional weakness and inability to stand up to her.
Instead, she found herself looking up to him as the man, while also feeling respected and loved.
That is a beautiful, addictive feeling for a woman and causes her to become magnetically attracted to a guy.
3. When she feels differently around you
Don’t tell her that you’ve changed.
Instead, let your actions, behavior and the way you react and respond to her do the ‘talking’ for you.
Her feelings will tell her if the changes have occurred and if they’re real or not.
In other words, if she’s feeling attraction and respect for you again, she will know that you’ve changed.
On the other hand, if she feels turned off, annoyed or bored while talking to you, she will take that as a sign that you’re still the same guy she broke up with.
Of course, don’t confuse her acting with what she really feels.
Many women will act as though they are annoyed, or turned off to test a guy’s confidence and see if his newfound confidence, or masculine behavior is real.
If you buckle under that pressure, she knows you don’t have the balls to handle a woman like her.
If you remain calm, cool and collected and don’t lose confidence, she knows that you really have changed and are now so much more of a man than you ever were before.
4. When she sees you looking confident and happy without her via social media
Some guys worry that if they post photos to social media of them having fun with other people (e.g. going to a party, hanging out with friends in an outdoor situation, hanging out with new female friends), she will assume that he’s no longer interested in her.
Yet, what a guy like that doesn’t realize is that women want to be with a man who is happy, confident and forward moving in his life, with or without her support, approval or attention.
A woman doesn’t want to feel as though a guy will fall apart without her being there to support or guide him.
Additionally, although women don’t like to admit it, they feel more attracted to men that other women feel attracted to.
It’s just the way women are.
Of course, if you post up photos to social media and seem to be confident, having fun and enjoying your life without your ex, she may pretend to be angry or turned off about it.
Once again (like with the previous example), it is a test of your confidence and also of your honesty.
She wants to see if you truly are feeling confident, happy and enjoying life even though she’s not in it and if you will buckle under the pressure and try to assure her that you weren’t happy during those times due to missing her.
If you buckle under that pressure, she then knows that you were only doing that to hopefully make her jealous and she still has all the power over you.
She will also lose respect for you, for not being able to stand strong and back up who you are now without her.
By trying to reassure her that you haven’t been happy without her, she perceives you to be weak, emotionally needy and lost without her.
That is not attractive.
So, if you want to make your ex believe that you’ve changed, then do post up photos of yourself having fun with other people and then never back down about it.
Don’t apologize to her for it, don’t feel bad (she wouldn’t if she posted photos) and don’t try to rub it in her face (e.g. don’t say, “I’m so much happier without you”).
Just let the photos speak for themselves.
5. When she sees that you are no longer trying to prove yourself to her
Sometimes a guy will fall into the trap of trying to live up to his ex’s expectations (e.g. she broke up with him because he took her for granted and said that she never felt loved. So, he then goes overboard to prove to her that he loves and appreciates her).
Yet, rather than be satisfied with his efforts, she keeps adding new expectations.
If he then tries to live up to those expectations to get her to believe that he’s good enough or has changed, he ends up coming across as desperate.
As a result, she doesn’t feel attracted to him anymore because women don’t find desperation or neediness attractive in men.
So, don’t make that mistake with your ex.
The best approach is to improve your attractiveness (e.g. become more confident, more assertive in a loving way, more playfully challenging when you talk to her, more emotionally manly, more charismatic and charming) because you want to do that for you, rather than for her.
Let her sense that you have naturally (and quickly) developed as a man because that’s what is happening for you at this stage of life, rather than because you were desperately trying to gain her approval.
6. When you truly understand what really attracts a woman to a man
Some guys get lucky and fumble their way into a relationship with a woman, without ever really knowing how they did it.
A guy like that will assume it was because he was being nice, romantic, sweet, agreeable and so on.
Yet, in most cases, the woman just gave him a chance because she was lonely, trying to get over an ex (i.e. he was her rebound), found him somewhat appealing and decided to give it a try, or simply because she didn’t want to be the only one of her friends without a boyfriend.
She didn’t truly love him, didn’t feel an amazing spark with him and was simply giving him a chance.
Then, when she was ready (e.g. found a replacement man, was ready to be single), she broke up with her ‘boyfriend’ and he was left feeling confused and rejected.
Here’s the thing…
Getting lucky, or getting a chance with a woman who is reluctant to be with you can last for a little while, but in the end, it’s not going to work and will result in a breakup, or you will be miserable together for life (i.e. because you never get the love you deserve to be shown and she never feels the spark she always wanted to feel for a man).
On the other hand, when you know how to attract a woman and make her feel lucky to be getting a chance with you initially and lucky to be in a relationship with you for life, it’s a better experience for you and her.
She knows that you could easily attract another woman and replace her, but are sticking with her because she shows you the love, respect and affection you deserve.
Additionally, if you are smart, you don’t end up taking her love for granted and instead, show her the love, respect and affection she deserves.
As a result, both of you are happy and in love for life.
So, if you want to make her your ex believe that you’ve changed, it’s important to let her realize that she’d be lucky to be getting another chance with you.
Don’t tell her that.
Let her feel it, based on the changes you have made and how those changes now make her feel.
7. When she sees that your life or the way you approach it, really has changed
As you know, actions speak louder than words.
In other words, it’s much more effective and powerful to do something, rather than just say that you will do it.
For your ex to believe that you have changed, she needs to be able to see that you’ve already taken action to become a better man.
For example: A guy might have lacked ambition and seemed to be drifting through life without much purpose.
After getting dumped by his girlfriend, he suddenly became a lot more focused, found his purpose in life and started making progress towards achieving the dreams and goals associated with his purpose.
As a result, his approach to life and his life both changed dramatically.
When a woman sees that kind of change, she starts to believe that her ex is likely a better man now than he was before.
She then opens up to interacting with him further, to see if the changes in him are real.
He can then re-attract her and get her back.
How about you?
What is something about your life, or the way you approach life that your ex would like to see change?
8. When you stop making her focus on the past
Sometimes a guy will keep talking to his ex about his past mistakes, what went wrong in the relationship and their problems as a couple.
His ex then feels like getting back together is too much work, is stressful and the relationship probably won’t work.
Her reminds her that there are many things wrong with the relationship and she’s not attracted or in love enough with him to want to fix it.
From his perspective, he is just trying to do the right thing and fix the relationship.
Yet, from her perspective, it’s just more confirmation that she should try to move on, rather than getting back into a problematic relationship.
This is why, the best approach is creating new, fun, attractive, appealing moments with your ex during interactions.
Focus on making her smile, laugh and feel happy to be interacting with you.
She will then feel more open to being with you, because it’s enjoyable and makes her feel good.
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