When Your Politeness is Mistaken For Nice Guy Behavior

Many guys grow up being taught to have good manners, or at least to be polite and that’s a good thing.

It makes for a civilized society.

Yet, what many guys don’t get taught when they’re young, or when they’ve grown up and are living their adult life, is that in order to attract women on purpose, you have to be able to switch into another mode of interacting, rather than just defaulting to having polite, superficial, well mannered conversations with women.

So, this is how it works…

A guy will see a woman that he instantly finds attractive, but if he doesn’t create a spark of attraction inside of her based on how he talks to her and instead, just has a polite, well mannered interaction with her, then she will almost always not feel a spark of attraction for him.

Instead, she will just look at him as being a typical, nice guy even though he may not be a typical nice guy.

He might actually be a cool guy.

He might be quite tough.

He might be the sort of guy who would stand up for himself if he needed to.

He might be respected amongst friends or family, but when he interacts with a woman that he finds attractive, he defaults into just having a polite, well-mannered interaction.

As a result, most of the women that he meets just see him as being a nice guy.

They mistake him for that.

Then, there’s another type of guy; a guy who makes a woman feel sexually attracted to him by creating a spark as he talks to her.

This particular guy also treats women well as he talks to them and shows some manners, or nice behavior at times.

Women refer to him as a charming guy.

Charming guys universally attractive to women, whereas nice guys are seen as just a friend, or a last resort option.

So, if you don’t want women to mistake you as a nice guy and therefore overlook you as a sexual or romantic option, then you’ve got to be willing to switch into another mode of interacting rather than just defaulting to polite, well mannered conversations.

When you switch into this mode of interacting that I’m going to give you an example of now, women see you as a charming guy and immediately begin to feel sexually attracted to you.

For example: A guy may go into a Starbucks, order himself a coffee and wait over in the waiting area to collect his coffee.

While he’s waiting, he may see a pretty woman walk in.

Physically, she is his ideal type of woman.

She’s the right type of age, she has the right type of look and so on.

She orders her coffee and then comes over to the waiting area.

While she’s standing there playing with her phone, she accidentally bumps into him.

She then says something like, “Oh, sorry, I didn’t see you there, sorry about that.”

The guy, who isn’t a soft, wimpy, nice guy and may actually be a cool guy, just defaults into having a polite, well mannered interaction with her.

He has an opportunity to create a spark with her, but he just defaults into polite, well-mannered interactions.

For example: She bumps into him apologizes and then he says, “Oh, no, that’s right. You’re fine, never mind.”

Nothing, but a friendly, polite, superficial and forgettable interaction.

On the other hand, if a charming guy is bumped into by a woman that he finds attractive and she then says something like, “Oh, sorry, I didn’t see you there, sorry about that.”

He will say something like this (in a playful way and with a smile), “So rude, bumping into people at Starbucks like that. Shocking, very bad manners.”

Almost every woman on the planet will understand that the guy is joking and they’ll have a bit of a laugh.

He can then say something like this, “No, I’m just kidding, you’re alright. I’m Dan, what’s your name?” and she then answers (e.g. “Jenny”).

He can then continue the conversation with her, make her feel more attracted to him, connect with her a little bit and get her number.

He can then call her, set up a date and start having a relationship with her.

That can be the path he goes down with that particular woman, compared to just having a polite interaction with her when she bumped into him and saying, “Oh, no, that’s right, never mind, you’re fine,” and then nothing.

It’s just an interaction that ends.

So, what’s important to understand is that there is a different mode of interacting with a woman if you want to make her feel attracted to you.

It’s called flirting.

The dictionary describes flirting as follows,

Flirt (verb): To behave as though you’re attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions. To court triflingly or to act amorously without serious intentions.

Another way to describe flirting, is that it’s where you feel enough attraction for a particular woman that you’re motivated and willing to have more than just a polite well-mannered interaction.

You’re not talking to her as though she’s just some random woman that you don’t have any attraction for.

You feel attracted to her and as a result, you can be bothered creating a more fun, interesting interaction, rather than just having a polite, well mannered, forgettable interaction.

You’re willing to use your intelligence to create a bit of a joke and you’re willing to be present in the moment, rather than being distant.

You’re willing to playfully tease her.

You’re willing to put in a little bit more effort into the interaction, because you find her attractive and you’re interested in her.

The reason why I explain it in that way, is that it’s important to understand and remember that many women are insecure and don’t always know when a man likes them.

So, if they bump into a guy at a cafe, or whatever it may be and the guy just gives her a polite response or reaction, she doesn’t necessarily know that the guy is a cool guy, or that he wants to have sex with her, he’d love to have a relationship with her and that they’d have a fun relationship together and so on.

He’s just reacting to her in a polite way, so many women will assume that he doesn’t like them, he may have a girlfriend already, he isn’t interested in talking to her or just wants to have a polite interaction and so on.

Yet, when a guy starts to flirt with her, in other words, he feels enough attraction for her that he feels motivated and he’s willing to play with her a little bit in a conversation to see what might happen, then that’s a completely different story altogether.

It helps a woman to stop feeling insecure.

She feels as though the guy is interested in her.

She starts to wake up to the interaction and flirt back with him.

So, what happens for a lot of guys is that they’re aware of the fact that nice guys finish last, or that women don’t find nice guys very attractive and so on.

The guy understands that and may say to himself, “Alright, I’m not going to be a nice guy. I’m not going to be one of those wimpy nice guys. When I talk to a woman, I’m not going to behave in a very polite way. I’m going to show her that I’m cool, that I don’t care, that I’m all good and I’m not some needy nice guy.”

Yet, guys like that end up interacting with women in a neutral way.

For example: If the woman bumped into him and said, “Oh, sorry about that, I didn’t see you there,” the guy, who is used to being neutral with women might say something like this, “Oh, no you’re alright.”

Then he just stands there, Mr. cool, Mr. Indifferent, I don’t care. I’m not a needy, nice guy, I’m not trying to suck up to women.

Yet, by approaching his interactions with women in that way, he’s not getting results.

He may feel better than a nice guy who’s sucking up to women, but he’s still not getting the results that he wants, which is having sex or relationship with attractive women.

He’s not getting that.

So, an important thing to remember, is that if you want to be able to enjoy your choice of women, then you’ve got to avoid defaulting into just polite, or neutral conversations with women that you find attractive.

You got to be ready to be able to switch into flirting with her.

Let her see you’re feeling enough attraction for her that you’re willing to play with her and see what happens.

When you do that, you will see that women do wake up in interactions with you.

They light up, they feel attracted and they start to flirt back.

When that happens, women immediately begin to look at you in a sexual and romantic way.

You can then begin to enjoy your choice of women.

As you may have seen while going through your everyday life, other guys are able to do it.

They’re able to turn on the charm and get the girl.

You can do it too.

It’s simply a matter of you being able to switch into another mode of interacting with a woman and then knowing how to move things forward from there.

By the way, if you enjoyed this video and you’re serious about getting this area of your life sorted, then I recommend that you read my eBook, The Flow, or listen to the audiobook version, The Flow on Audio.

Amongst many other things, such as how to be confident when you’re talking to women, how to make women feel instantly attracted to you, how to connect with women, how to take things to the next level, such as getting a phone number, kiss, sex or date, you will also learn my best ever examples of a particular type of humor that I use, which automatically creates a flirtatious vibe between you and a woman.

The examples make her laugh, make her feel attracted, make her flirt with you and cause her to open up to the interaction and want more.

All you have to do is follow the simple steps of The Flow and you get the girl.

The Flow is the easiest way to get laid or get a girlfriend.

You Don’t Need to Become a Bad Boy, or Ditch Your Manners to Attract Women

One final point that I want to make for you in this video, is that if you do see yourself as a good guy, if you feel as though you are a good guy and you like being a good guy, then you don’t have to change that.

You don’t have to become a bad guy to attract women.

It’s true that women can feel attracted to bad guys, bad boys, thugs and so on, but you don’t actually have to go down that route if you don’t want to.

You can be the good guy that you are, if that’s who you are, but you have to be able to switch into another mode of interacting (i.e. flirting) when you’re interacting with women, so they see you as a charming guy and have a sexual and romantic interest in you.

It doesn’t require you to treat women badly, or stop having manners.

It also doesn’t require you to become a bad guy.

You just have to be willing to flirt with women to create a spark and when you’re willing to do that and you know how to do it, you will see that you’re able to make many of the women that you meet feel attracted to you, including pretty and beautiful women.

You can literally enjoy your choice of women.

One of the reasons why, is that most guys out there don’t understand what flirting is.

They simply don’t know how to do it, or they’re worried about having anything other than a polite, or neutral interaction with a woman.

Yet, the guys who get laid and get a girlfriend easily are the ones who switch into another mode of interacting when they meet a woman that they find attractive.

You can switch into that mode of interacting and when you do, you will see that women feel a spark with you.

They see you as a charming guy.

They have a sexual and romantic interest in you.

You can then enjoy your choice of women.