Recently, a guy contacted The Modern Man and asked, “Why are women such bitches?”
He went on to explain that he is a good guy and tries to talk to women, but they are always so cold and indifferent towards him.
To quote his e-mail, he said, “I approached a couple of women at a bar and after say hello and getting the conversation started, they then gave me the cold shoulder. When I tried to keep the conversation going, one of them told me to leave them alone because they were catching up and hadn’t seen each other in a while.
Why are women so cold to me like that? It’s not the first time it has happened. Most women I know through work or friends overlook me and go for other guys. I’m a good guy, so what is their problem?”
Can you guess what the problem is?
To me, it’s pretty simple because I went through that myself when I was struggling to get anywhere with women.
Here’s the problem…
The guy isn’t emotionally strong enough to handle the initial tests that some women put guys through.
Some women are a lot easier to approach and talk to than others.
If a guy approaches a woman who is looking for a confident guy, she’s not going to be gentle with him and allow him to talk to her without passing some of her confidence tests first.
For example: She might be nice to him when he starts the conversation, but then begin to close off and act uninterested as the conversation progresses. She might stop contributing much to the conversation to see how he reacts.
If the guy reacts by becoming nervous and self-doubting and she can see that via his body language, she will immediately lose interest in talking to him because she’s looking for a confident guy.
To get him to go away, she might begin to act cold and disinterested and may even ask him to leave her alone.
She would rather reject him and get him away from her, than give him a chance to get to know her and potentially grow on her because she’s trying to find herself a confident guy, not an insecure guy who can’t even handle her initial tests.
If a guy can’t pass her initial confidence tests, then she knows that he’s most-likely not strong enough for a woman like her.
So, as you can see from this example, women aren’t cold, mean bitches who actively try to make men feel bad.
If a woman is bitchy towards a guy, it usually means that she is either testing him or trying to get her to leave her alone because she knows that he’s not emotionally strong enough for a woman like her.
Some women also adopt a bitchy attitude to hide their insecurities (e.g. if a woman is insecure about her attractiveness, she might act bitchy to get guys to be more respectful towards her) and in those cases, you should feel sorry for her, rather than hate on her.
So, if you are a guy who is wondering, “Why are women such bitches?” the first thing you need to know is not all women are bitches and they don’t always act bitchy.
If you’ve had the misfortune of meeting a bitchy woman, don’t assume that all women are like her. Most women are nice and are much easier to pick up than most guys realize.
How so?
The majority of women who I’ve picked up put on a bitchy, hard to get attitude at some point during the pick up process, but it didn’t worry me.
I know that I have the ability to attract women and turn them on during a conversation, so I have nothing to worry about.
I know she is going to feel attracted to me and if she needs to pretend to play hard to get to feel better about herself, then she can do that, but I know that I’m going to sleep with her anyway.
Watch this video to understand how you can have the same power over women, regardless of whether they act bitchy or nice towards you when you meet them…
As you will discover from the video above, you actually have a lot of direct power and control over how much or little attraction and woman feels for you.
Don’t fall for her act of playing hard to get. Just smile and know that she is feeling attracted to you and she will eventually drop the act and want to hook up with you.
How can you know that you’re attracting her?
Simple.
There are many personality traits and behaviors that naturally attract women to men. For example: If you are being confident, have a masculine vibe, make her feel girly in response to your masculinity, make her laugh and have some charisma, most women won’t be able to stop themselves from feel very attracted to you.
A woman might act like she isn’t that interested, but if you’re attracting her in those kind of ways, then she is going to be attracted and interested.
Her act is almost always going to be a typical confidence test that she needs to put you through before she feel satisfied that you are emotionally tough enough for a woman like her.
When Guys Get Rejected as Soon as They Approach…
As mentioned earlier, some women are much easier to approach and talk to than others.
However, if you approach women who are looking for a confident guy who knows how to turn them on, you need to get it right.
Here’s are some example reasons why a guy will get rejected as soon as he approaches a woman or group of women…
1. Approaching in a shy, nervous or anxious way
If a guy lacks self-confidence, he will often come across in a shy, nervous or anxious way when approaching and talking to women that he is attracted to.
He might be confident and relaxed when talking to unattractive women or women who are already in a relationship, but when he approaches and talks to women that he finds attractive, he can’t stop himself from feeling shy, nervous and anxious.
Some women (usually unattractive women) will accept a shy guy, but the majority of women won’t.
Why? Women are attracted the emotional strength of men and turned off by the weakness.
Why? Think about the world we live in. To survive, thrive and prosper, you usually need to be fairly tough emotionally.
Being an emotional wimp doesn’t always mean that a guy won’t be capable of being successful in modern life (e.g. he could work in I.T or accounting and do very well for himself), but women don’t take that into account when feeling attraction.
Attraction is an automatic reaction to certain personality traits and behaviors that men display. Essentially, if the humanity was forced back into basic survival, the more confident, alpha and emotionally strong guys would most-likely be able to survive, thrive and prosper as well as protect a woman.
Of course, this will probably never, ever happen, but that’s not important to the human body and it’s instincts.
A woman has the natural instinct to feel attracted to confident guys, not shy, nervous or anxious guys because her attraction is directly linked to her need to find a guy who would be a good survivor under any living conditions.
If a guy starts talking to her and is shy, nervous or anxious, it doesn’t make her feel as though she would be safer and better off with him compared to a confident guy. So, rather than getting herself involved with him, she rejects him and waits to meet a guy who is emotionally stronger.
She may not be able to explain it that way, but her natural instincts will immediately say “Yes” or “No” when she assesses a guy’s body language, vibe and conversation style during the first few seconds to a minute of an interaction.
If she is the type of woman who will not accept anything less than a confident guy, she will reject the shy guy and hope that he goes away and leaves her alone.
He might walk off thinking, “Why are women such bitches?! I’m a good guy! What is their problem?!” but I hope that you now understand what is really going on.
As you will discover from the video above, men and women feel attracted to each other in different ways.
While a woman can feel attracted to a guy’s looks, the majority of women choose guys based on the inner qualities, personality traits and behaviors.
For example: If a guy approaches a woman and is confident, charismatic, has a masculine vibe and is able to get her laughing, she is going to so much more attracted to him than a nervous, shy, anxious guy who is good looking.
Of course, some women (usually the unattractive ones) will accept a nervous good looking guy, but the majority of women will reject him or maybe only have a brief relationship with him.
If you want to be successful with women, you’ve got to be able to attract them with your personality, behavior and inner qualities. That is what really counts to the majority of women out there.
Yes, some women are shallow and will only accept a male model with loads of money, but the majority of women really do select guys based on how much attraction his personality, behavior and inner qualities (e.g. self-esteem, confidence, ability to love, good nature, etc) make her feel.
2. Putting on a nice guy act
There’s nothing wrong with being nice to women, but when a guy puts on an act of being even nicer than he really is, women put their guard up immediately.
Think about it this way…
Have you ever met someone in person who was acting really nice to you, but you could tell that they really weren’t that nice of a person. How could you tell? You could sense it.
You could see it in their body language, notice it in their vibe, pick up on it in their attitude and the way they spoke and moved.
Women can do that too.
In fact, women are usually even better at it than men. Women are hard-wired with natural instincts that help them filter out the fakers from the real men.
Some women do make mistakes and end up with bad guys who screw them over, but most women are very good at noticing when a guy is acting a lot nicer than he really is in the hope that he can impress her.
If a woman doesn’t reject him immediately, she might allow him to suck up to her (e.g. give her lots of compliments, buy her drinks, do favors for her, etc), but when he finally reveals his interest in her, she will reject him.
He might then wonder, “Why are women such bitches?” because no matter how nice he is to women, they always seem to reject him in the end.
Why does that happen?
Watch this video to understand why being too nice to a woman will often result in rejection…
As you will learn from the video above, there is nothing wrong with being nice to a woman.
In fact, I recommend that guys be good guys and treat women well. However, if you put on an act of being even nicer than you are to hopefully be “liked” enough by a woman to be given a chance, then you’re doing it wrong.
The shortcut to success with women is to trigger their feelings of sexual attraction for you. Once a woman feels attracted to you, she will then appreciate anything nice that you say or do for her.
However, without sexual attraction present, anything nice that you say or do for a woman will simply make her see you as a nice guy…or as a guy who is trying to suck up to her and be liked.
3. Approaching her and putting on an act of being a gentleman who isn’t interested in sex at all
Just like being too nice to a woman can backfire and lead to rejection, being too much of a gentlemen upfront can also be a reason for women to go cold.
Unlike women from the early 1900s, a woman today is in a world where she can buy her own things and support herself without a man. She can also have sex before marriage and not even get married if she doesn’t want to.
These days, some guys still hold on to the idea that the way to woo a woman is to “treat her like a lady,” which essentially means to not touch her, keep the conversation and vibe non-sexual and treat her like an innocent virgin would never have sex before marriage.
This approach would have worked 100 years ago, but it’s only going to get a guy rejected by most women in today’s world.
Modern women are much more independent than in generations gone by and they don’t want a man who acts (yes, he is acting because he isn’t normally like that around friends) in an overly formal way around a woman.
He will make sure that he keeps his hands to himself and certainly never dream of kissing a girl without asking for her permission first. He will pull out a woman’s chair, tell her that she has nice eyes (rather than being honest and saying, “You’re sexy, I like you”) and generally act like she is a woman from 1905.
Since 95% of guys who behave in this gentlemanly way believe that they are doing things the right way, they are going to say, “Why are women such bitches?” when they get rejected.
Women Are Much Easier to Pick Up Than You May Realize
If you’re the sort of guy who thinks that women are bitches (don’t worry, I used to be like that too), then you simply don’t realize how easy most women are to pick up.
Women might put on an act as though they are so hard to get and so valuable, but most women are insecure about their attractiveness and simply looking for a confident guy who will respect them, love them and appreciate them.
Most guys assume that women think they are so damn good and that guys need to bow down at their feet.
Yet, a global study (conducted by Dove Cosmetics) that included 1,000s of women from around the world found that 96% of women do not consider themselves to be beautiful.
Crazy, right?
Well, it’s true.
Women know that they don’t look as good without make up as they do with make up. Guys might not remember to think that when they see a hot girl with make up, but she knows it.
She knows that when she puts on make up, she gets so much more compliments and attention because of all the paint that she has plastered all over her face.
When she looks at herself in the mirror without make up, she knows that she has flaws and is not as perfect as guys think she is.
Yet, guys don’t get that.
Most guys treat her like she is so amazing and like they are so undeserving of her, especially when she paints her face (i.e. applies make up).
What these guys don’t realize is that they can easily make her feel attracted to them and if they just have the confidence to stick with the interaction and pass her confidence tests, she will relax and open up to being with him.
So, don’t waste anymore of your life thinking that women are bitches.
Most women are just nice people who are either a bit insecure (and acting bitchy to cover that up) or acting a little bitchy to test your confidence.
Smile, relax and let women see that you’re not afraid of them and they will respect you and open up to you.
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