Have you ever been in the situation where you’re talking to a hot girl and everything seems to be going well, but then it falls apart?
You’re talking to her, getting along and you seem to be making a connection with her.
Yet, when you ask her for her number, she asks you something like, “Why do you want my number?” or, “Why are you asking me for my number?” or, “Why should I give you my number?”
Why do women ask those questions and how can you ensure that you do get her number, or get to a kiss or sex that night, rather than walking away with nothing?
The number one reason why she will ask, “Why do you want my number?” is…
1. To test your confidence
She wants to see whether or not you start doubting yourself.
If you start doubting yourself because she has challenged you with that question, then she assumes that you’re not emotionally strong enough for a girl like her.
A girl like her usually has had a fair bit of experience with dating and relationships and she doesn’t want to get into a relationship with a guy who doesn’t feel completely worthy of her.
She’s had the experience of being with a guy who doubts himself and lacks confidence and she knows what that turns into 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6 months into the relationship.
The guy starts to get protective of her and become very jealous. He doesn’t feel good enough for her and begins to become a bit of a needy guy.
She doesn’t want to get herself into another situation like that, so is trying to find out if you truly, honestly feel worthy of her or not.
The second reason why a woman will ask you, “Why do you want my number?” is…
2. To create a bit more time for herself to make a decision
In cases like that, she’s not quite sure yet.
You seem like a good guy and there seems to be a connection between you and her, but she’s not fully feeling a sexual spark with you.
She wants to make sure that if she gives you her number and ends up dating you, that there’s going to be more than just a friendly connection between you and her.
She wants to make sure that she’s not going to end up feeling as though you are way more attracted to her than she is attracted to you.
So, when she puts you on the spot by asking you, “Why do you want my number?” or “Why should I give you my number?” she wants to see how you’re going to react.
If you react in a confident way and use humor to get her feeling attracted to you, then she knows that the attraction between you and her is going to be fairly mutual, if not mutual.
You’re not just a friendly guy who is hoping to get lucky with her.
You are confident enough for a girl like her.
So, in that moment, she will be be feeling attracted to your confidence and your ability to handle a challenging situation like that, where she has put you on the spot.
Another reason why a woman will ask the question, is that…
3. She’s not sure why you are asking for her number because you seem to be just having a friendly conversation with her
This usually happens to guys who are afraid to make a woman feel sexually turned on during a conversation.
Rather than putting their balls on the line and risking making her feel turned on by saying a few things that are a bit risky, a guy will play it safe and be friendly.
He’ll be talking to her, being nice and friendly, using humor and they’ll be getting along very well.
However, he won’t be making her feel sexually attracted and turned on.
He will be playing it safe.
He just wants to keep talking to her and he hopes that eventually, she’s going to warm up to him, she’s going to like him and she’s going to want to give him her phone number, kiss him or have sex with him that night or on the first day.
Yet, if she’s an attractive woman, she has experienced that approach from many guys, possibly hundreds of times before in her life.
The fact is that most guys are afraid to take the risk to make an attractive woman feel sexually turned on during a conversation.
For example, a guy will be talking to the woman and he’ll come across in a friendly, easy-going way.
There’s nothing wrong with that and a guy should come across in a friendly easy-going way. However, he also needs to add in some sexual body language, some sexual tonality and some sexual jokes and innuendos, at times.
For example, with sexual body language, rather than always looking at her and just being that innocent friendly type of guy, he needs to sometimes slow down his body language and look her up and down in a subtly, sexual way.
While she’s talking, he is looking at her in the eyes and then slowly, but briefly gives her a look up and down and continues talking to her.
She then knows that he’s not afraid of being sexual.
He’s not just a friendly, innocent type of guy who’s just going to be really nice around her and take her on nice dates and hopefully get a chance to have sex with her or be her boyfriend.
He is the sort of guy who can make her feel turned on and isn’t afraid to do it, in a subtle way.
When a guy has the balls to be subtly sexual during a conversation, she knows that she’s going to have a much more exciting experience with him than a typical friendly, nice guy who plays a Mr. Innocent role and hopes to eventually grow on her over time.
A guy who has the confidence to be subtly sexual is going to be making her feel turned on as well.
He is feeling turned on by her and how she looks and she is feeling turned on by his behavior.
As a result, she’s going to be feeling like, “Oh, I’m talking to a man who has the balls to look at me in that way when we’re talking. Imagine how he would look at me in the bedroom. Imagine how he would touch me.”
She then starts imagining what sex would be like with him, which is actually very important to a woman.
It’s not something that women go around admitting, but it’s what really goes on in their mind as they talk to a guy.
If you want to get a woman to have sex with you, you have to get her imagining having sex with you and feeling good about it.
If a guy is just being friendly around a woman or worse, if he’s being nervous around her, then when she imagines having sex with him, she’s not going to feel good about it.
She’s going to be thinking, “Well, it’s going to be awkward with the nervous guy and it’s just going to be nice with the friendly guy.”
It’s not very exciting at all.
However, when she’s talking to a guy who has the balls to make her feel turned on during a conversation, then she starts to imagine something completely different altogether.
So, when he asks for her phone number, she has the motivation to want to give it to him.
She too wants to be able to get to the point where him and her have sex.
Finally, another reason why a woman will ask, “Why do you want my number?” is that…
4. She’s trying to find herself a real boyfriend and assumes that you’re just another guy who is attracted to her now, but will lose interest in her after having sex with her for a while
Some women are okay with that when they’re in their late teens or early 20s, but when a woman is between 25 and 35 years old, she starts to feel the pressure to settle down and have a real relationship.
This can be because her biological clock is ticking, or it can be because her girlfriends are settling down and they have moved in with their boyfriend, gotten married, had children and so on.
So, rather than waste more time on a relationship that might only last 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, or 3 years, she is looking for something that is going to last for life.
What to Say and Do When She Asks, “Why Do You Want Number?”
Okay, so what should you say if a woman asks you, “Why do you want my number?” or asks you, “Why should I give you my number?”
The best way to approach it is to remain confident and relaxed and don’t appear as though you are being rejected.
In some cases, you can turn the situation around simply by cracking a joke and maintaining your confidence and then the woman will give you her phone number.
In other cases, you need to maintain your confidence and continue interacting with her for a while, without trying to get her number for 10 to 30 minutes.
Just focus on building up her feelings of sexual attraction and then go for her number.
Where guys go wrong is that they answer the woman’s question in a logical manner.
She asks, “Why do you want my phone number?” and the guy replies, “Because I like you,” or “So we can talk again,” or “I thought you and I were getting along, I want to give you a call and maybe take you out for a date,” and the guy will then appear confused or rejected by her question.
If a woman is looking for a very confident guy and he appears nervous or flustered by her question, then she knows that he’s not actually a very confident guy.
He was only feeling confident because she was being nice and friendly towards him.
Yet, when she put him on the spot, he panicked, began to doubt her attraction for him and showed it.
As a result, she will not want to give him her number because will want to avoid getting into a relationship with a guy who doesn’t truly think that he is good enough for her.
So, here are a couple of examples of how to reply by using humor and being confident.
She asks, “Why should I give you my number?” and you then laugh and say, “So you can take me out to dinner.”
Alternatively, you laugh and say, “So I can call you 100 times every day, of course.”
You might then add on to that by saying, “Look, I’ll start by calling you at 8 a.m. in the morning and ask how you slept, ‘Is everything okay?’ Then I’ll call you again at 8:30 and ask, ‘How was breakfast? Was it tasty? Was it okay?’ Then I’ll call you at 9 a.m. and say, ‘Hey, I hope the traffic wasn’t too bad. Have a good day at work.'”
At that point, she’s most likely going to be laughing.
She’s going to see that you’re not actually a needy type of guy.
You’re only joking about that.
You’re actually subtly making fun of guys who are that needy and contact women all the time.
So, when you maintain your confidence and don’t appear rejected, most women will then relax and want to give you their number.
However, some women do test men much more than others.
Some women are much more confident and want to have a guy who has a level of confidence that is equal to hers, or preferably is more confident than her.
It really depends on the woman.
In some cases, the woman will give you her number after doing that (i.e. not appearing rejected, making a joke in response to her question to show her that you’re not being needy about trying to get her number and have the confidence to remain calm and not appear rejected).
However, in some cases you need to relax, maintain your confidence, keep talking to her, joke around and build up sexual tension between you and her for 10-30 minutes (or even up to an hour) before she will be happy to give you her number.
Essentially, you need to show her that you’re not appearing rejected and one of the ways to do that is to confidently reach out and touch her while you are talking to her.
When you and her are talking, you can touch her on the back of her arm when you’re making a point about something.
So, when she’s talking about something you might say, “Well, that’s actually really interesting. It reminds me of something want to tell you and touch her arm while you say that and then calmly, gently let go after 2-3 seconds and continue talking.
Alternatively, you might say something like, “Actually that’s really interesting,” and you hold your hand gently on the back of her upper arm for a few seconds as you maintain eye contact with her.
She then sees that you really are confident around her.
You’re not feeling rejected after she challenged you by asking you, “Why do you want my number?”
You are confident, you’re not losing control of your emotions and you’re continuing to subtly show interest in her.
You’re also not being needy about it, which is attractive to her as well.
You’re not rushing to get a phone number and you’re not feeling like you hopefully need to suck up to her to get a phone number.
Instead, you are maintaining your confidence, maintaining your self-pride and are interacting with her in a positive, confident manner.
In almost all cases, that will result in you getting her phone number and you can then say something like, “Okay, good to meet you. I will call you 20 times tomorrow, okay?” and have a laugh with her about that.
In other situations, the attraction between you and her will really start to build up.
She’ll begin to see that you can handle a woman like her.
You don’t become rattled when you’re tested by being asked the question, “Why do you want my phone number?”
You maintain your confidence.
The attraction between you and her can then build up to the point where you and her kiss and go home and have sex that night.
Then, later on when you’re having sex with her, you can say, “Hey, well, it looks like I didn’t need your phone number in the end anyway,” and have a laugh with her about that.
Learn More?
Okay, I hope you’ve enjoyed this video and learned something from it.
If you’d like to learn more, I recommend that you read my e-book, The Flow, or listen to the audiobook version, The Flow on Audio.
When you use The Flow approach on women, they won’t ask you, “Why do you want my number?”
Instead, a woman will either give you her number or you will get to a kiss and sex that night.
In many cases, you don’t actually have to go for a number.
You can get to a kiss and have sex that night and it’s a lot easier.
If you don’t want to do that, you can of course get her phone number and the techniques in The Flow make sure that she won’t ask you annoying questions like, “Why do you want my phone number?” or “Why should I give you my phone number?”
By the way, I know this because I used to really struggle with women and when I talked to them, they weren’t interested in me in a sexual or romantic way.
However, when I figured out what I teach in The Flow, everything changed.
I began instantly attracting women and having my choice of women.
I enjoyed my choice of women for 10 years and had loads of fun and then met my girl, who I’m still with to this day.
What you’ll find when you use The Flow approach on women, is that most women are way easier to pick up than they make themselves out to be.
You just need to know what you’re doing and avoid common mistakes, so you don’t turn the woman off and lose your chance with her.
It’s actually a very easy thing to do and you will laugh at how easy it is once you start using The Flow approach.
You Must Believe in Yourself
One final point that I want to make for you in this video is that a lot of the problems that you will experience when attracting and attempting to pick up women, stem from a lack of belief in yourself.
Women can pick up when guys lack belief in themselves (i.e. when they lack confidence).
So, it’s very important if you want to be successful at attracting and picking up women, that you get your confidence sorted out.
When you have total confidence in yourself around women that you find attractive, you will find that things tend to flow from one stage to the next very easily.
Of course, it’s not possible to pick up every woman that you meet.
However, what you’ll find is that, when you are totally confident in yourself and are not trying hard to hopefully impress women to get a chance with them, you’ll be able to attract most of the women that you meet.
When you also know what to say and do to go from one step to the next with a woman that you find attractive, you will find that you have your choice of women.
It will no longer be about you hoping to get lucky, hoping to get a chance with a woman that you find attractive.
What you’ll find is that your interactions flow from one step to the next with most of the attractive single women that you meet.
Most women are actually quite easy to pick up, but when you come across as though you’re lacking belief in yourself or are trying hard to pick them up and hopefully get a chance with them, they play hard to get even though they’re not really hard to get.
On the other hand, when you believe in yourself and are not trying hard to hopefully get a chance with a woman, she relaxes, opens up to you and is much easier to attract and pick up.
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