5 possible reasons why your ex blames you for everything when she made mistakes too, are that…
1. She’s trying to convince herself that you are bad for her, but her heart doesn’t necessarily agree
A woman will often do this as a way of trying to stop herself from caring about you and the relationship, especially if she still has feelings for you.
She doesn’t want to appear vulnerable and allow you to think that she’s open to giving you another chance, so she will keep telling herself things like, “He stuffed up. He’s to blame for all the pain I’m going through now. He can’t be trusted. Don’t believe a word he’s saying. You can do better than him. He isn’t good for you. Move on. Don’t give him another chance.”
Even though her heart might be saying, “He’s not really all bad. You made some mistakes too. You’re being too hard on him,” she’ll try to block that out by saying to herself, “Don’t be a fool and let him hurt you again. He’s not good for you. You’re better off without him.”
So, how can you stop her from thinking and behaving in that way?
Rather than getting into long discussions with her about the relationship, you must focus on keeping things light, playful and friendly between you.
For example: If she says, “It’s all your fault” and lists off a bunch of things that you did wrong, you can laugh and playfully (important) say, “Yes, it’s true. I could probably win the award of world’s worst boyfriend” and have a laugh with her about that.
You could also playfully (important) add in something like, “Hey, but you made some mistakes too. Do you remember when you burnt the toast that morning when we were making breakfast? I’ve never gotten over that” and have a laugh.
If she continues to try and blame you for everything, you can be serious and say, “Yes, I admit it. I made some mistakes and I’ve apologized to you about that many times before. So, let’s just get one thing clear. You and I are broken up and I accept that. I’m not asking you to accept my apology so we can then get back together. I know that you and I can’t get back together. So, let’s just be friends from now on.”
You then take away her power because you’re not desperately trying to convince her to give you another chance.
You are saying to her that you and her are not getting back together and you accept it.
You’re also saying that you’re just friends now.
Why?
That way, she will stop feeling like she has to put her guard up or ignore you from now on.
As a result, the lines of communication will be open between you and her and you can then re-attract her.
Additionally, when she can see that you’ve admitted your mistakes, apologized and are not asking for anything in return, she then starts to think about how she is behaving and ponders her role in the break up.
She begins to accept some of the blame herself and naturally feels like it’s okay to start forgiving you for some of your past mistakes, because she also wasn’t perfect throughout the entire relationship.
Another reason why a woman might blame her ex for everything is because…
2. She is trying to make you react in an angry way, so she can have another thing to complain about
Sometimes, a woman will be struggling with her decision to end a relationship and will try to come up with additional things to blame her ex about or complain about.
If she can’t find enough to complain about or blame him for, she might start being rude to him and blaming him for everything that went wrong in the relationship.
She hopes that he will react in an angry way and she can then point out that he’s just too argumentative, aggressive or has too much of a temper.
She might even go as far as saying something like, “You’re scaring me. Why are you getting so angry? I don’t want you calling me anymore.”
It’s her way of making herself feel okay about dumping you and blaming all or the majority of the relationship problems on you.
So, to make her ex guy angry, she might say something like, “It’s your fault that this has happened. I warned you plenty of times before that I wasn’t happy, but you didn’t change. I was so nice to you, but you were an absolute prick to me. You don’t deserve me. I wasted my time with you. I wish I had never met you! You never treated me right.”
If the guy gets angry at her, she can then say, “See!? You always get angry and argue with me about everything! I’m sick of it! Leave me alone!”
If that annoys him even more, she might then say, “You can’t be rational and calm like a normal person. You’re too angry for me. You scare me. So, leave me alone. It’s over!”
She can then feel justified about her decision to break up with him and begin to move on, even though she was behaving in an angry, disrespectful way to him.
She just focuses on his angry reaction and nothing else, which allows her to feel like it’s all his fault.
This is why I always recommend that a guy never try to match a woman’s crazy.
In other words, if she is acting crazy and ridiculous, don’t get dragged into it.
Be calm, confident and in control.
Don’t let her cause you to lose control of your emotions because it never, ever ends up being in your favor.
For example: If a woman gets angry and you get angry, she can then turn up the heat and get even angrier and crazier.
If you match that, you will be the one who ends being in the wrong because she will pull the ‘woman card’ and say that you’re scaring her or being verbally abusive.
So, don’t let a woman drag you into her drama.
Laugh at her and the drama, remain calm, confident and in control and be the bigger person.
That’s what a woman really respects, even though she might not ever tell you that directly.
For example: She might even say, “Oh, you think you’re so cool now, hey? Well, you’re not. You’re a piece of shit. You asshole!” to see if you crack and get angry.
Instead, you just need to laugh it off and say something like, “You’re hilarious. You actually look kinda cute when you’re angry too. You get these little wrinkles between your eyebrows. It’s cute” and have a laugh.
Almost any woman on the planet will not be able to stop herself from laughing or at least smiling at that point.
She will see that you are clearly the man and no matter how much heat she tries to put on you, it doesn’t throw you off balance and make you crumble.
You remain calm, confident and in control.
By the way…
Trying to get a woman to understand your point of view when she doesn’t feel enough respect and attraction for you to care, is also a big waste of time.
A woman will only truly care about your point of view when she is feeling respect, sexual and attraction and love for you.
It will be in her best interests to care because you are the man that she is in love with.
However, if you’re broken up and she doesn’t feel respect, sexual attraction or love for you, then there is no real benefit for her to care much about what you’re saying to her.
This is why, if you want to get your ex back, you must focus on making her have feelings for you again, rather than trying to discuss the relationship and work things out.
Make her have feelings for you again and she will have a reason to get back with you.
However, try to get her back when she’s just not feeling it and she will just keep looking for ways to prove to herself that you’re wrong and she’s right, so she can get over you and move on as quickly as possible.
So, if you want your ex to stop blaming you for everything and take some responsibility for her actions, you have to spark her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you first.
When you do that, she will naturally begin to reconnect with the love she used to feel for you and she will also begin to feel a new kind of love that will draw her to you and make her want to give the relationship another chance.
However, let me remind you…
You can’t achieve that by arguing and trying to force her into being open minded when discussing the relationship and the problems you and her experienced.
You can only achieve that through re-attraction and the reactivation of her feelings for you.
Be confident and use humor when she’s trying to press your buttons and make you angry.
Laugh off her attempts to mess with you and turn it into something that she can laugh about too.
No matter how much she tries to goad you into getting mad at her, don’t bite.
If you don’t play into her hands, she won’t have anything to hold against you from now on.
She won’t be able to tell herself, “See? There’s another reason to remain broken up with him! He’s just an angry, out of control guy and it’s his fault that I’m feeling so much pain right now. He wasted my time. He ruined the relationship! I’m so much better off without him and now I have even more proof of that. I have to move on!”
You definitely don’t want to cause her to think and feel that way.
If you do, you will make the process of getting her back much harder than it needs to be.
So, simply focus on triggering her feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love in every interaction that you have with her from now on (e.g. via text, on social media, on a phone call, or in person) and whether she likes it or not, her guard will come down.
She will then stop feeling the need to blame you and will start feeling the need to hug you, kiss you, have sex with you and spend time with you.
Another reason why your ex is blaming you for everything is because…
3. She is immature and can’t own up to her mistakes
Sometimes a woman is isn’t emotionally mature enough to look at her behavior in an unbiased way.
In a case like that, no matter how much a guy tries to reason with her and points out the mistakes that she made, she will refuse to listen to him.
She will say things like, “Don’t try and put the blame on me. I didn’t stuff up, you did. It’s all your fault and I’m not going to let you make me feel bad about what happened.”
Naturally, when a woman won’t listen to reason and is being stubborn in that way, a guy might feel a bit annoyed and frustrated at her.
Yet, here’s the thing…
You can’t force your ex to take responsibility for her actions if she doesn’t want to, or if she isn’t emotionally mature enough to.
This same rule applies whether the woman is 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 or 68.
Some women go through life without ever really growing up and becoming a rational, healthy, emotionally mature adult.
So, don’t try to force your ex to see reason if she’s just being silly about the whole thing.
Instead, just be the more emotionally mature one and lead by example.
One way to do that is to not take her accusations of blame too seriously.
Literally laugh them off if she is being silly or unreasonable.
Turn her accusations into something that you and her can laugh about together, rather than letting it turn into an unnecessary argument that drives you further apart.
She might initially feel a bit shocked that you’re not getting upset about her accusations, but she will feel respect and attraction for your ability to remain confident and not be walked all over by her.
However, if she doesn’t laugh, don’t worry about it.
In most cases, she will just be pretending to be angry or annoyed to test your confidence.
She wants to see if you will feel like you’ve stuffed up and are losing her now because she seems annoyed.
This is standard female behavior.
One of the most important roles of a woman in a man’s life is to test his confidence by putting him under pressure.
If a guy can handle her tests, she then has faith in him that he could handle himself out there in the world and not get walked all over by bad people.
Passing her tests (e.g. her acting annoyed and angry when she’s not) triggers her primal, instinctive attraction for you and makes her respect you and want to be with you more than anything nice or sweet you might say to her.
At the end of the day, confidence beats anything else in a woman’s eyes.
Women thrive on the confidence of men.
It’s what draws a woman to a man and keeps her by his side, feeling attracted and feeling safe with him.
So, whatever you do, make sure that you don’t ever give her the impression that you are intimidated by her or doubting your attractiveness or value to her based on her actions or behavior.
You have to remain confident and believe in yourself no matter what she says or does.
When your ex notices that you don’t need her approval to feel good about yourself, she will automatically feel respect for you again, even if she tries to fight it or hide it.
She will find herself thinking about you in a more positive way and naturally reconnecting with her old feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.
Another reason why she might be trying to blame everything on you is that…
4. She doesn’t realize her mistakes yet and still thinks that she approached the relationship correctly
Like men, some women go through life thinking that they are perfect and don’t need to change a thing.
People like that tend to fail at most things in life and then blame other people or blame external sources (e.g. the government, a boss at work, parents).
A person like that usually doesn’t like to admit their faults or mistakes because they don’t want to look weak or stupid.
They don’t realize that everyone makes mistakes and when a person learns from their mistake, they become stronger and smarter, not weaker and less intelligent.
So, if your ex is like that, she will know about her mistakes, but she won’t want to focus on them.
She will want to shift the blame to you, so she can feel better about herself.
Yet, here’s the thing…
She won’t feel better about herself at all.
She will know that she was at fault too and she will hate the fact that she has to keep living a lie and acting like she is perfect and doesn’t need to learn anything.
5. She wants to see if you continue chasing her, even though she’s treating you badly
If a woman is attractive or feels as though she is a quality woman, she will wan to make sure that her man deserves her and isn’t just getting lucky by being with her.
One of the ways she can do that is by blaming him for everything and treating him badly after a break up.
She will be rude to him, call him names, insult him and downplay anything good he ever did for her and then watch to see what his reaction is.
If he takes all of her punishment, takes all the blame, apologizes over and over again and tries to suck up to her, she will see that he doesn’t really view himself as being a valuable man.
A confident man who believes in his value and attractiveness to a woman would laugh at her attempts to make him out to be the villain, or to be a worthless piece of junk that she or any other woman wouldn’t want anything to do with.
A confident man who believes in his value to a woman will always be able to get his ex back so much easier than a guy who doesn’t believe in himself.
Why?
Women are naturally attracted to confidence.
Additionally, women are turned off by men who allow themselves to be walked all over by a woman.
Important: This doesn’t mean that you should get angry at her and demand that she treat you better.
No.
You have to be emotionally mature and emotionally strong enough to not get dragged into her fake drama.
Rise above it, look down with a smile and laugh at it.
You know very well that you are not to blame for everything, so why not laugh at the accusation.
After all, it’s ridiculous.
So, laugh.
You can say something like, “Yes, it’s all my fault. I’m the worst. It’s even my fault that you [insert some mistakes she made in the relationship]. I’m to blame for everything. World’s worst boyfriend” and have a laugh.
By being confident and manly in that way, you stop her in her tracks and make her realize the ridiculousness of what she is saying.
You also make her feel impressed and attracted to the fact that you’re not allowing yourself to get walked all over by her.
If you can also get her laughing, she will respect the fact that you’re being a good guy about all of this, rather than being an angry asshole of an ex who wants to even the score with her.
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