Here are 5 common reasons why a woman will keep in touch with her ex man:
1. She wants you back, but is afraid to admit it
Sometimes, a woman will keep in touch with her ex because she secretly still has feelings for him and is hoping that he will pick up on her subtle signs and then get her back.
She will be friendly, open and even joke around with him via text or on phone calls, but won’t make it obvious that she wants him back.
She worries that if she makes it too obvious, he might then say something like, “Hey, look…I’m fine to be still in contact with you, but I just want to make it clear that not interested in relationship.”
Alternatively, she fears that if he realizes how she feels about him, the thrill of the chase will fade away for him (e.g. he sees that he can easily get her and loses interest in chasing her).
If that happens, she will end up feeling hurt, rejected and left behind.
So, rather than taking that emotional risk, she just keeps in touch with her ex and hopes that he eventually has the courage to make something happen between them.
Another possible reason why your ex keeps in touch with you is…
2. She is bored and just talks to you for something to do
In some cases, now that a woman is single, she might find herself feeling a bit bored in the evenings or during the weekend.
If she doesn’t have anything else to do, she might go ahead and text her ex or even call him, as a way of passing the time and avoiding feelings of boredom.
So, if your ex is calling you out of boredom (and you secretly want her back), don’t make the mistake of being a nice, reliable friend who is always available to her.
If you do, she will use you to keep busy and then drop you like a hot potato when she meets a new guy.
You will then be left wondering, “What happened? I thought we were connecting with each other again. We were talking. She was staying in touch. Now she has a new boyfriend? How could she do that to me? Why did she give me hope and then just leave me behind?”
That will happen if you approach interactions in a friendly, nice way, rather than using your interactions with her to reawaken her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction.
In other words, you use your interactions to get out of friend zone and into the sexual zone once again…
So, if you want her back, use any interaction that you have with her as an opportunity to reactivate her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction for you.
Make her laugh, smile and feel so good to be interacting with you that when you’re apart, she naturally begins to think, “I can’t wait to call him when I get home tonight. He’s so different now. I really miss him when we’re not in touch. I want to hug him, kiss him. I miss that. I miss him.”
When that happens, her guard naturally comes down and she opens back up to giving the relationship another chance, or at least hooking up with you again to see how she feels afterwards.
Another possible reason why your ex keeps in touch with you is…
3. She wants you to keep pursuing her or feeling like you have a chance, while she secretly moves on
A woman will sometimes feel so angry or bitter with her ex for not living up to her expectations (e.g. she thought he would be a confident boyfriend, but he ended up becoming an insecure, jealous, clingy and emotionally sensitive boyfriend) that she will string him along after the break up to get revenge.
She will keep in touch with him (e.g. via text, social media, calling him on the phone) and make him believe that he still has a chance with her.
He might then start pursuing her and trying to romance her (e.g. sending her flowers, buying her nice gifts, being available to her whenever she needs him, sending her an email to express his love for her and dedication to her).
In the meantime, she will be secretly moving on and possibly even hooking up with a new guy behind his back.
Then, when her ex finally asks, “Can we give our relationship another shot?” she can say something along the lines of, “Are you kidding me? No, of course now! Why would I want to do that anyway? You caused me so much pain and wasted my time. I would be crazy to get back with you again. You were so insecure, clingy and needy. I don’t want that. Besides, I’ve moved on already. I’m seeing a new man now and it feels good to be with a real man.”
As a result, she gets the revenge on him that she was seeking.
She was able to string him along and then break his heart and leave him feeling lost, confused and depressed without her in his life anymore.
Another possible reason why your ex keeps in touch with you is…
4. She is the sort of woman who likes to stay in touch with her ex’s because she thinks it’s the right thing to do
Not all woman react in the same way after a break up.
For example: Some women will immediately cut off all contact with their ex or even block his number and unfriend him on social media, so they can get over him and move on.
Other women go around badmouthing their ex to mutual friends and acquaintances, in the hope of making him look like the bad guy.
Other women decide to remain friends with their ex and even catch up and say hi over coffee from time to time.
Then, there are those women who keep in touch with an ex (e.g. text or call him from time to time, send him messages via social media), because they are being kind to him and are hoping to make the break up process easier for him.
So, if your ex is keeping in touch with you, it may be because she’s a nice person who still genuinely cares enough about you enough to stay in touch and make sure that you’re okay.
In her eyes, she’s just doing what she feels is the right thing to do.
The good news is that even if she’s just staying in touch to be nice, you can use the interactions to reawaken her sexual and romantic feelings for you and make her fall in love with you again.
You can make her smile, laugh and feel great to be interacting with you again.
You can flirt with her to build up sexual tension between you and her.
You can let her see that you really are a different man to the one she broken up with.
When you approach it that way, her defenses will come down and she will begin feeling surges of respect and attraction for you once again.
When that happens, she starts imagining what it would be like to get back together and you can then guide her back into your arms where she belongs.
Another possible reason why your ex keeps in touch with you is…
5. She is hoping that you will say or do something to create a sexual spark between you and her again, so you can then get back together
Will you be able to talk to her in a way that creates a spark, or will you just talk to her in a friendly, neutral way?
Will you flirt with her and build up sexual tension, or will you be too afraid to interact with her in that way now that the relationship has ended?
Do you still feel enough sexual attraction towards her to feel motivated to make her feel turned on by your approach to conversation, or do you just see her as the ex who broke your heart and are only trying to get her back temporarily to make yourself feel better?
These are the sorts of questions that a woman will be looking to answer when she stays in touch with you after a break up, as a way of giving you an opportunity to create a spark with her again.
If you fail to notice the opportunity, she may end up thinking, “Well, I guess I’m the only one who wants to get back together. Clearly he doesn’t have feelings for me for anymore, because if he did, he would have made a move by now. Maybe I need to get over him and move on. He just talks to me like a friend. Maybe the spark between us has died and can’t be brought back to life, or maybe he just doesn’t want to because he really isn’t that interested in me after all. Maybe he just wants to stay in touch because he doesn’t want to feel abandoned by me. Maybe he’s trying to move on without me. So, I need to stop keeping in touch with him. I need to move on.”
This is why, no matter what your ex’s reasons might be for keeping in touch, you should just be secretly thanking her (i.e. say it to yourself. Don’t thank her) for giving you the opening you need to get her back.
Use every interaction that you have with her from now on to reactivate her feelings of respect, sexual attraction and love for you.
Then, go ahead and enjoy the great times ahead when she becomes your girl once again.
Where Guys Go Wrong With an Ex Who Keeps in Touch
Your ex keeping in touch with you is the perfect opportunity to re-attract her and get her back.
Yet, if you approach the interactions in an unattractive way, rather than reactivating her feelings for you, you may actually convince her that she made the right decision by breaking up with you.
So, if you want to get her back, be sure to avoid the following mistakes…
1. Being her texting buddy
A guy will sometimes be so happy that his ex woman is talking to him, that he ends up happily accepting a role as her friend.
He becomes her texting buddy (i.e. where she texts him when she’s feeling bored or lonely to make herself feel better) and hopes that it will be the path back into a sexual, romantic relationship with her.
For example: A guy might think, “This is great. At least she’s talking to me! All I have to do now is play it cool, be a nice, reliable friend to her and then, when she’s ready to see me again as a boyfriend, she will let me know. We can then meet up and get our relationship back together.”
Yet, it almost never happens that way.
Why?
If a guy is being a texting buddy for his ex woman, she’s usually only going to see him as a friend.
She’s also secretly going to lose some respect for him because he only sees himself as a friend, rather than seeing himself as her more than good enough lover or boyfriend, even though they’ve broken up.
So, she might enjoy keeping in touch with him for an ego boost (e.g. knowing that he wants her back and is trying to be a good friend to accomplish that), but she will also open herself up to meeting, hooking up with and dating new guys.
Of course, she usually won’t tell her ex that.
She will say things like, “I’m not interested in dating anyone else right now” or, “I just want to be on my own for a while” to keep her ex around as her texting buddy.
Then, when she has secured herself a new guy and is in a relationship, she can then drop the bombshell on her ex and walk away unhurt by the break up.
Her ex is then left feeling brokenhearted and maybe even betrayed by her, but in reality, he dug his own grave by acting like a nice friend.
So if you don’t want to get a text from your ex saying, “Hey, guess what? I’ve met someone else and I think I’m falling for him,” don’t make the mistake of becoming her nice, friendly texting buddy.
Instead, use the interactions that you have with her to reawaken her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
Then, seduce her back into a relationship via a hug, kiss and then sex.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Trying to have real, in-depth conversations via text
If your ex woman is keeping in touch with you via text, then don’t stick to just text.
Get her on a phone call, re-attract her on that call and then get her to meet up with you in person, so you can seduce her back into a relationship.
Don’t hide behind texts.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t ever realize how much damage they are causing to their chances of getting their ex woman back by sticking to text.
Rather than going from texting to a phone call and then to a meet up, a guy will stick to text and try to discuss the relationship and work things out that way.
For example: He might text her things like, “I’m so glad that you kept in touch with me. Now we can really get to the bottom of what happened between us and work things out, which is great. I’ve had a lot of time to think about where I went wrong and I think I’ve figured it out. I did [these things wrong] and I made [these mistakes]. I’m sorry about that. I look back now and wonder what I was thinking. I really lost my way. How about you? What do you think? Are there certain areas you believe that I need to focus on and improve? I’m willing to do whatever it takes to regain your trust in me and be the man you want me to be. I want to work things out, so let’s discuss this.”
Yet, even though his intentions are good, it’s usually just too much for an ex woman to handle via text.
If she is still madly in love with him and wants him back, then she will deal with it initially because she wants him to keep pursuing her.
However, if she doesn’t really have strong feelings for him anymore, she will feel turned off by how overwhelming and stressful it feels to be texting with him.
He sends her huge walls of text with many questions and lots of things for her to think about and answer, even though she isn’t that interested.
As she looks at the detail he is putting into the texts, she then begins to see him as being desperate and putting in way too much effort to explain himself.
She also begins to wonder why he is hiding behind text, “Is he too afraid to call me? Would he be able to say those things to me on a phone call, or in person? Is that the kind of guy I should give another chance to?”
She then feels turned off by him and either replies with a few words to his big texts, or begins to avoid replying altogether.
Eventually, she may end up texting him to say that she thinks it would be better if they didn’t keep in touch anymore.
The next mistake to avoid is…
3. Turning her off by appearing to be waiting around for her to give him another chance
Sometimes a guy will avoid doing anything that might make it seem as though he is moving on and enjoying life without his ex.
So, he will decline invitations to go out with friends and instead, spend a lot of time sitting at home alone, watching TV or playing video games.
If she ever asks him what he’s doing, he can then respond with something like, “Oh, not much. I’ve just been chilling out at home. Nothing is that much fun without you anyway. I prefer being on my own these days.”
Yet, rather than make her feel flattered that he can’t move on without her, it actually turns her off even more.
Here’s the thing…
Although a woman usually won’t admit this, she loves it when a guy can be happy without her in his life and (don’t expect women to admit this) may even have other women who interested in him.
Being happy without her and potentially having other women who are interested in him makes him seem more valuable to her.
He doesn’t have to actually date other women, but the mere idea that other women are interested in him can make an ex woman want to get back with a guy right away.
Important: You don’t have to get out there and date new women.
Instead, just make sure that you don’t give your ex the impression that you have nothing going on in your life and are lonely without her.
That doesn’t impress an ex.
Women are impressed by men who are happy, confident and forward moving in life with or without them.
As an added bonus, if you also seem to be around other people and potentially have some women who are interested in you, that can often be enough to make an ex woman want to see you and give you another chance.
4. Waiting too long to arrange a meet up and she then loses interest
Even if a woman’s main reason for keeping in touch with her ex is that she still has feelings for him and is hoping they will get back together, if he doesn’t move things along (i.e. goes from texting to calling to meeting up with her in person), she will eventually get bored of waiting for him and just move on instead.
She may think, “Well, I tried! He clearly isn’t that interested in us getting back together again. If he was, he would have made the effort to see me by now. Instead, he’s just been texting back and forth like a friend. I’m not going to wait any longer for him to make a move. I’m getting on with my life as of right now. As a matter of fact, I’m calling my girlfriends and arranging a girl’s night out. I’m going to get drunk and flirt with guys. If I want to have sex, I will. I just going to get on with my life and forget about my ex. It’s time for me to move on.”
She then cuts herself off from her ex (e.g. she stops responding to his texts/social media messages/calls, she becomes cold and distant towards him) and then actively begins flirting with new guys and moves on.
Don’t let that happen to you.
The fact is, your ex has already given you much more of a chance to get her back (i.e. by keeping in touch with you) than most guys ever get after a break up.
So, use that opportunity to re-attract her and arrange a meet up with her today or tomorrow.
At the meet up, fully reactivate her feelings for you (e.g. by making her smile and laugh, making her feel feminine in contrast to your emotionally masculine vibe, being confident and self-believing regardless of what she says and does) and break down her remaining walls, so she wants to get back together with you for real.
Don’t keep her waiting.
Get her back.
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