Here are 5 common reasons why an ex woman will take a long time to text you back…
1. She’s testing to see how you will react
When a woman breaks up with a guy, she usually tries to disconnect from any residual feelings of respect, attraction and love that she might still have for him, so she can then move on.
If her ex starts texting her, she’s usually won’t jump at the chance to interact with him, unless of course she’s still really in love with him and wants him back.
In every other case, a woman will first test to see if her ex has changed and improved since the break up, before she allows herself to fully drop her guard and open back up to him.
For example:
- Will he become insecure and self-doubting if she takes a long time to reply to his texts, or will he maintain his confidence in his attractiveness to her no matter what?
- Will he give up at the first sign of resistance from her, or will he continue to pursue her in a confident, calm manner?
- Will he get angry or irritated with her for taking so long to text him back, or won’t it matter that much to him because he’s not emotionally dependent on her to make him feel good about himself?
Another common reason why an ex will take so long to text you back is…
2. She’s playing hard to get to make you suffer for what you put her through
When a woman is angry with her ex for what happened between them, she might initially be resistant to his attempts to get her back.
So, making the ex back process easy for him by quickly responding to his texts might not be something that she wants to do right away.
Instead, she may want to make him suffer for a while for putting her through the pain that she went through (e.g. he was emotionally unavailable in the relationship, he didn’t make her feel appreciated).
She may think something like, “I can’t believe that he expects me to get into a sweet, friendly conversation with him via text like nothing ever happened between us. He doesn’t realize how angry I am with him for how he treated me. Well, I’m going to give him a big dose of his own medicine now and make him suffer. I’ll take my time to reply so he can see how it feels to be treated like you don’t matter!”
So, if you suspect that the reason your ex is taking so long to text you back is because she wants to make you suffer, sticking to texting her back and forth whenever she feels like it, isn’t going to accomplish anything other than make you feel frustrated.
To speed up the ex back process, you need to call her on the phone or, even better, meet up with her in person, so that you can properly reactivate her her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
When you reactivate her feelings, it becomes a lot easier for her to forgive you.
On the other hand, if you just stick to texting, it will probably be very difficult for you to fully restore her feelings (i.e. because she can’t see your body language, or hear the tonality of your voice).
If she isn’t feel enough respect, attraction and love you based on the text exchanges, she will probably continue to make you suffer by taking a long time to text you back.
She might also twist the knife by being cold, bitchy or distant when she does finally get around to replying.
So, if you want her back for real, don’t try to achieve everything via text.
You’ve got to have the balls to get to a phone call and in person interaction.
You then need to properly re-attract her and seduce her back into a relationship with you.
Another common reason why an ex will take so long to text you back is…
3. You’re trying to have serious conversations or discussions via text
Sometimes a guy thinks that in order for his ex to want to talk to him over the phone or meet up with him in person, he first has to show her that he’s serious about fixing their relationship problems.
As a result, he will send her loads of texts discussing what went wrong in the relationship and apologizing for his mistakes.
For example: A guy who was a bit too irresponsible with how he approached life (e.g. partying too much, using up his spare time to play video games, rather than working on a better future for him and her, not caring about her feelings and being mean and rude to her).
After getting dumped, he will most likely realize his mistake and want to be forgiven and given another chance.
So, he might text his ex girl something like, “I’m really sorry about everything that happened between us. I should have taken things more seriously, but I didn’t. I just couldn’t stop myself from acting like that, even though I could see it was pushing you away. I now realize that I was being childish and immature and I’m truly sorry about that. I really messed up because I didn’t grow up and become the man you wanted me to be. I’m not like that anymore and I really want to make it up to you, so that we can get back together. Will you at least think about it? I’m willing to do whatever it takes to prove to you that I’ve really changed.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
When a guy tries to have a serious discussion with his ex via text, it causes her to have to relive the negative emotions that she was feeling during the relationship (e.g. anger, frustration, irritation, disgust, disappointment, resentment).
So, rather than think, “Wow, he’s being so mature all of a sudden. Maybe he has changed after all. Maybe I should give him another chance,” she instead thinks something like, “Yeah, he’s right! He was childish and irresponsible and I can’t believe that I actually put up with it for so long. Now he wants me to believe that he’s changed and just give him another chance based on his word. Haha! Whatever! He was never reliable before, so why would I believe him that this time around would be any different? I bet that if I gave him another chance, he’d just go back to his old ways when we settled down again.”
Based on her uncertainty about his motives or intentions, she will naturally want to take her time when replying to him, to ensure that she isn’t being sucked back into a relationship with him against her will.
So, what should you do instead?
Regardless of whether or not you want to apologize to your ex for what happened between you and her, or prove to her that you really have changed, just don’t try to do it via text.
That’s a conversation you can have after you’ve re-attracted her, gotten to a hug and then possibly a kiss.
Get back to that place first, otherwise you will be trying to row a boat upstream.
You don’t need to put in all that effort.
Go with nature, rather than against it and things will flow naturally and smoothly for you.
In other words, re-attract her first, get to a hug and possibly a kiss and she will then naturally become open to discussing the relationship, working things out and seeing what happens from there.
When you approach it that way, you easily flow downstream with little effort other than to steer the direction of where you’re going.
So, how can you begin to re-attract her via text, so she is willing to meet up with you and then get to a hug and possibly a kiss?
One way to do it is by flirting with her…
When you flirt with her and start making her feel attracted, not only will she be more likely to respond to your texts a lot sooner, but she will also want to talk on the phone and meet up with you in person to see how she feels.
On the phone and in person, you can then build on her feelings and get her back for real by getting to a hug, kiss, sex and then back into a relationship.
Another common reason why an ex will take so long to text you back is…
4. She doesn’t want to look too keen, even though she is interested
Even if a woman still has feelings for her ex and wants to get back with him, she’s won’t always make it obvious.
In fact, quite often, the more a woman wants her ex back, the less keen she’ll want to appear to him (i.e. because she doesn’t want to show too much interest, only to then be rejected by him and then feel like she is the one who got dumped).
As a result of her fear of being rejected and hurt, she might take a long time to reply back to her ex’s texts.
Naturally, this might then cause her ex guy to start thinking, “Well, I guess she’s not interested in getting back together. I’m probably just wasting my time with her. Maybe I need to start moving on.”
He then tries to move on, without ever knowing that he had a chance to get her back, if he would just grow a pair of balls and get her on a phone call and then get her to meet up with him in person.
So, if you want to get her back, decide now that you are going to be emotionally courageous enough to proceed through the entire ex back process, rather than hiding behind texts and hoping that something happens.
Another common reason why an ex will take so long to text you back is…
4. You’re texting her too often
Sometimes a guy might decide that the best way to stay on his ex’s mind is to text her random things throughout the day.
He hopes that by staying in touch, she won’t be able to forget about him and move on with someone else.
Yet, rather than not being able to move on based on his texts, she will most-likely feel annoyed by the fact that he’s being so clingy.
So, if you want your ex to get back to you quickly when you text her, don’t waste her time by constantly texting her about random things.
Instead, only text her with the purpose of sparking her feelings for you, so you can then get her on a phone call, organize a meet up and then properly re-attract her and get her back.
Where Guys Go Wrong When Texting an Ex Woman
Whatever you say and do from now on is either going to bring you and her closer together, or push you further apart.
So, if you are serious about getting her back, try to avoid the following mistakes that other guys make when in your shoes…
1. Sticking to text as the main way to get her back
Although there’s nothing wrong with texting an ex (especially if she refuses to talk to you over the phone or see you in person), being too afraid to get her on a call is the fastest way to annoy her and turn her off.
If a woman senses that her ex guy is afraid to call, she will become irritated by his texts and will lose interest in replying to him.
She may think, “What does he want from me? We’re going nowhere with these back and forth texts. It’s like he doesn’t have anything else to do other than bother me with useless messages. I don’t even know if he wants me back, because he’s not doing anything about it. He’s just texting back and forth. It’s so annoying. It’s also a turn off that he lacks the balls to call me and get me to meet up with him. Oh well, if he doesn’t have the balls to be a man and get me back, I’ll just have to find myself a new man.”
She then focuses on moving on by meeting new men, having sex and falling in love again with someone new.
So, if your main goal is to get your ex back, then don’t waste your time (and hers) by endlessly texting back and forth.
Make a move.
The next mistake to avoid is…
2. Feeling afraid to call her because she might not like it or might not answer
A guy will sometimes stick to texting his ex, because he will be thinking something like, “What if she doesn’t answer my call?” or, “What if she doesn’t want to talk to me?”
Here’s the thing…
Even if your ex is standoffish or distant when you first get her on a call, that act of hers won’t last long if you focus on rekindling her feelings by making her laugh and smile as she talks to you.
She will naturally drop her guard and begin to open up to talking to you and better still, she will actually enjoy it, which will make her want to open up to seeing you in person.
Likewise, if your ex doesn’t answer the first time you call, just call her another time when she’s likely to be free (i.e. the next day, a couple of days later).
If she still doesn’t answer, text her this: “Hey, I hope all is well for you. I tried to get hold of you the other day to ask you something quick over the phone, but it looks like you’re busy. I’ll call again another time.”
Most women respond to that and ask something like, “What do you want to ask me?”
If she texts back, don’t reply.
Instead, call her, re-attract her on a call and get her to meet up with you.
BTW: The thing that you want to ask her is to meet up with you, but don’t tell her that right away.
Re-attract her first (e.g. by using some humor to get her smiling, laughing and feeling good to be talking to you again).
The next mistake to avoid is…
3. Asking her why she is taking so long to reply to your texts
Sometimes, a guy will feel annoyed with his ex for taking so long to text him back and will end up texting her something like, “Why are you taking so long to reply? Are you trying to mess with my head or something? I know that I stuffed our relationship up, but I’m trying my best to make things right between us. Can’t you see that? You don’t have to keep punishing me like this. Please, just be reasonable here. I want to work things out. I love you.”
Yet, rather than make a woman think, “Gee, I never realized I was being such a bitch to him. He’s right, he really is trying hard and I haven’t been very nice to him at all. I need to make an effort here. I owe him that much after everything we’ve been through together,” she instead feels more turned off by what she perceives as his desperation to get her back.
So, if your ex is taking too long to text you back, just call her on the phone, rather than complaining to her about it, or asking her why she is doing it.
On the call, use humor to break down her defenses and get her to agree to meet up with you, so you can then get her back for real.
The next mistake to avoid is…
4. Thinking that there is a correct amount of time to reply to a text
Sometimes, a guy will feel as though his ex girl should reply to his texts quickly because he loves her, cares about her and wants to work things out.
Other times, a guy will expect quick replies because he will see that as the decent thing to do.
Yet, here’s the thing…
You and her are broken up at the moment, so she isn’t obligated to do anything for you anymore.
I know, I know.
It sucks to hear that, but it’s true.
If you want her to care about you again, you’ve got to focus on making her feel a strong, renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
If she doesn’t feel that, she’s just not going to feel very motivated to reply quickly, or at all, from now on.
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