5 possible reasons why:
1. She doesn’t respect you yet
Making your ex respect you again is the first step in getting her back.
To be clear here, according to the dictionary, respect is defined as:
Respect (noun): A feeling of admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
Let’s apply that to relationships now…
When a woman loses respect for a guy, it’s usually because he has stopped behaving in ways that allow her to look up to him and admire him.
In other words, she no longer respects him.
As you will discover from the video above, respect is the first step to getting her back.
So, if your ex is saying that she doesn’t care that you’re truly sorry, it means that you’re saying and doing some of the things that caused her to lose respect for you in the first place, or you are saying and doing new things that are causing her to lose respect for you.
For example: One of the reasons why a woman might lose respect for a guy and as a result, break up with him, is because he’s too jealous (e.g. he calls her multiple times a day to check up on her, secretly or openly monitors her social media activity, checks her phone to see who she’s been texting with and about what).
After losing her respect in that kind of way, he might then try to get her back by saying, “I’m truly sorry I behaved like that. I know I was out of line to spy on you and try to control you and I promise I will never do it again. Please give me a chance to make it up to you.”
She might then test him by saying something along the lines of, “I don’t care that you’re truly sorry. My friend Jason at work told me that I shouldn’t trust you again, because a leopard will never change its spots. I believe him, not you.”
If he then feels jealous and starts saying things like, “Who is this Jason and why is he telling you what to do? You can make your own decisions, can’t you? Why would you listen to this guy over me, unless you’ve been cheating behind my back all this time with him? Is that it? Have you been cheating on me? How long have you been seeing him? Tell me!” she will know that he’s still the same jealous, controlling guy she broke up with.
Then, not only won’t she believe him when he tells her that he’s truly sorry, but she also won’t respect him for trying to get her back before changing his ways.
This is why, if your ex is saying that she doesn’t care that you’re truly sorry, it may be because your actions, behavior and conversation style aren’t fully supporting your words.
You may have changed in some ways, but not in the ways that are causing her to feel as though she can finally respect you and admire you again.
Another possible reason why your ex doesn’t care that you’re truly sorry is…
2. She’s not attracted to you yet
Sometimes, a guy might feel so bad about what happened between him and his ex girl that he may think to himself, “I’ll do anything to prove to her that I’m truly sorry for hurting her. I need to convince her to give me another chance no matter what because I am truly sorry. Even if that means I have to be on my best behavior with her from now on and do whatever she says, I will do it. I will show her that no matter what, I will always be there for her and that she can depend on me from now on. Then, when she realizes that I’m not giving up on our love, she will just have to forgive me and give me another chance. That will work. I know it!”
He might then stay in her life and focus on being a nice, helpful, reliable friend to her, even when she’s being unfriendly or indifferent towards him.
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that being a pushover to her is not what is going to change her feelings for him.
What will?
Flirting with her and making her feel strong surges of attraction for him again.
What you must get clear on is that if you don’t actively re-spark your ex’s feelings of sexual and romantic attraction first, she’s not going to feel tempted to forgive you and give you another chance.
So, don’t act like a nice, neutral friend with her in the hope that she will care about you again.
Of course, you should be good to her and even apologize for your mistakes, but don’t overdo it.
Instead, just make sure that you use every interaction you have with her to make her experience strong, irresistible, sexual feelings for you.
By the way…
There’s nothing wrong with making her feel that way about you again.
In fact, everything is right with it.
Some guys worry that it might be overstepping the line or that they are no longer worthy of making their ex girl feel sexually attracted.
Don’t think like that.
She’s your girl.
If you want her to be back in your arms, feeling sexually attracted to you and wanting you, then you have to focus on making her feel sexually attracted to you as you interact with her.
Another possible reason why your ex doesn’t care that you’re truly sorry is…
3. She knows that even though you’re sorry, you’re still going to make the same kinds of mistakes
Feeling sorry about something doesn’t automatically make it better.
If your ex still suspects that you’re still going to be the same guy she broke up with, she’s going to continue saying that she doesn’t care about you being sorry.
Of course, that might not seem fair to you, but getting an ex back isn’t about what is fair.
Getting an ex back is about re-attracting her and making her want you again for her own reasons, rather than trying to get her back by explaining that you’re sorry and hoping that she takes pity on you.
Yet, here’s the thing…
If she gave you another chance right now, you probably wouldn’t make the exact same mistakes as you did in the relationship, but you may make similar or related mistakes that your ex has been picking up on while interacting with you lately.
Here are some subtle things that will continue to push an ex away:
- Her ex guy stops being controlling, but starts being insecure and hesitant around her because he no longer feels worthy of her.
- Her ex guy stops playing video games so much to hopefully impress her, but he still isn’t following through on his big ambitions in life and is essentially just hanging around doing nothing with his life as per usual.
- Her ex guy stops being wimpy during arguments and starts becoming overly assertive and domineering, in the hope that it will impress her, but he simply goes to far with it for it to be something that she can respect or feel attracted to.
- Her ex guy stops taking her for granted and becomes a soppy romantic kind of guy who always talks about his feelings.
So, even though he might think that he’s changed for the better, his behavior is still unattractive to his ex, but just in a new way.
If you want your ex to feel attracted to you again, you have to change in ways that are going to be attractive to her.
Another possible reason why your ex doesn’t care that you’re truly sorry is…
4. Saying sorry isn’t the final step of the ex back process
Although apologizing is an important part of the ex back process, it’s not the main thing that will make your ex give you another chance.
Instead, it’s just something standard that is done at the start.
After apologizing, you’ve got to then reactivate her feelings and guide her through the process of wanting you back, rather than just saying sorry and expecting to get a relationship with her again because of it.
You need to show her via your actions, behavior and the way you respond to her when she tests you, that you’re no longer the man she broke up with.
When she can see that you’re now a new and improved man, it will make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
Then, the idea of giving you another chance starts to feel like something she may be willing to do.
However, if you just apologize to her and expect her to say something along the lines of, “Oh, okay then. I guess it’s okay now. All is forgiven, so let’s get back together,” you’ll be very disappointed, because it will rarely happen in that way if the woman has gotten to the point where she has totally lost respect for a guy.
Remember: Actions speak louder than words.
So, if your goal is to get her back, then once you’ve told her that you’re truly sorry, you need to get on with making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new and improved you.
If you don’t do that and simply continue to apologize to her, then she’s just going to keep pushing you away and saying, “I don’t care that you’re truly sorry. It’s over. Just accept it and move on.”
Another possible reason why your ex doesn’t care that you’re truly sorry is…
5. You’ve given her a false sense of power over you by continually apologizing
When a guy feels bad about what happened between him and his ex, he will naturally want to apologize to her to make it right.
However, although one or two short, sincere apologies are fine and do help, saying, “I’m sorry” over and over again only makes the situation worse.
Why?
By constantly apologizing, a woman sees her ex guy’s behavior as desperate, rather than as sincere and strong.
She then begins to feel like he needs more than she needs him, so she is in the position of power.
Then, rather than wanting to forgive him, she begins thinking things like, “I never realized it before, but he’s such an emotionally wimpy and needy guy. I see now that he’s not man enough for me and I can probably do so much better than him. I don’t have to settle for an emotionally weak guy. I deserve better. I have to try to move on.”
Essentially, by apologizing over and over again, he’s given her a false sense of superiority over him and has made her think that she is better than him, when she’s not.
So, rather than accepting his apology and want to work things out with him, she pushes him away and says things like, “I don’t care that you’re truly sorry. Leave me alone. I’ve told you that I don’t want to get back with you. Accept it.”
Here’s the thing…
In a relationship, if you hand your power over to a woman, she won’t be able to respect you anymore.
If she can’t respect you, she won’t be able to feel sexually attracted to you and without those two things in place, being in a relationship with you isn’t something that appeals to her romantically.
So, don’t give your ex power over you by apologizing to her all the time.
Apologize to her if you stuffed up – that’s fine.
However, once is enough and twice is okay.
After that, just maintain your confidence with her (especially when she tries to make you feel bad by saying things like, “You hurt me so much,” or “I will never be able to trust you again”) and focus on re-sparking her feelings for you every chance you get.
The more respect and sexual attraction she feels for the new you, the less she will be able to hold on to her negative feelings about the old you.
Her walls will begin to crumble down and then the process of getting her back becomes easier because she is feeling open to you.
Where Guys Go Wrong When Trying to Get an Ex to Forgive Them
Everyone makes mistakes in a relationship and most people make mistakes during a break up.
It’s not just you.
Yet, how you recover from those mistakes is the difference between renewing your ex’s feelings of respect, attraction and love for you, or turning her off even more and convincing her she’s better off without you.
So, if you want to get your ex back for real, what you do from now on is what really counts.
Try to avoid making these mistakes, or stop making these mistakes if you have been making them lately:
1. Apologizing in a long letter, e-mail, social media message or series of text messages
Many guys are too nervous to face their ex after stuffing up in the relationship, so they hide behind letters, e-mails, social media messages or text messages.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Women get turned off by a guy who doesn’t have the balls to look them in the eye and apologize for his mistakes like a man.
If an ex guy wants to hide behind the safety of a letter, e-mail or text message and tell her all about how truly sorry he is, it just doesn’t cut it for a woman.
Additionally, because she can’t hear the tonality of his voice, or see his body language, she doesn’t know if he’s really being sincere or just saying what he thinks she wants to hear so she will give him another chance.
For this reason, rather than giving him the benefit of the doubt (i.e. that he’s genuinely sorry and wants to make it up to her), she usually assumes the worst of him (i.e. he’s faking it and is just trying to say whatever he can think of to get another chance).
So, she pushes him away by saying things like, “I don’t care that you’re truly sorry. As far as I’m concerned what we had is over and I never want to see you again.”
This is why, if you want your ex to believe that you’re sorry and give you another chance, it’s best to do it face-to-face or at least on a phone call, where you can more easily spark her feelings of respect and attraction and get her to forgive you.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Promising to do whatever it takes to make it up to her
If a guy gets broken up with by a woman that he truly loves, it can be a huge punch in the guts.
It can leave him feeling sick to the stomach, stressed out, lost, frantic and for some guys, even suicidal.
It’s not a nice experience for a guy to go through.
Every guy reacts differently, but most guys feel quite depressed, down, ashamed, betrayed, angry and sad about the whole thing.
As a result, a guy might start saying things like, “I’m so sorry for what I did. I know I stuffed up, but I promise I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you. Please just give me a chance to make things right. I will do anything for you. Just name it and I’ll do it. You mean everything to me. Please.”
Yet, although he might feel as though what he is saying is right because he is being sincere, she doesn’t feel the same way.
For example: By saying, “I will do anything for you. Just name it and I’ll do it,” it suggests to her that he doesn’t really know what he is doing that is turning her off, so he needs her to teach him, guide him and help him through the ex back process to get her back.
Here’s the thing…
A woman doesn’t want to be the one to tell her guy how to be the man she needs, because if she does, she will lose respect for him for not being his own man.
She will look at him as following her instructions like a good little boy, which then throws the relationship dynamic out of whack and makes her feel more like his mother or teacher, rather than his woman or girl.
That takes the romance out of the relationship, kills her feelings of sexual attraction and turns her off emotionally.
So, rather than promising your ex that you will do whatever it takes to make it up to her, focus instead on figuring out what really happened to cause her feelings for you to change.
Don’t ask her that.
Figure it out by continuing to learn.
For example…
Then, take action to turn things around by making the necessary changes and improvements to yourself that will show her you have already learned from your past mistakes and are now a better man.
Only then will she care that you’re truly sorry because she will be feeling a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you and as a result, will be wanting you back for her own reasons.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Declaring your undying love for her and promising to wait as long as it takes
When a woman is saying, “I don’t care that you’re truly sorry,” a guy might decide to pour his heart out to her and let her know that he will wait for as long as it takes to get her forgiveness.
Essentially, he’s hoping that when she sees that his love for her is so powerful, she will feel flattered and then her defenses will come down.
He might then give her a lot of space (i.e. he doesn’t interact with her in any way for weeks or even months, or stays in contact with her but only treats her as a nice, neutral friend) and wait for her to forgive him and tell him that she’s willing to give him another chance.
Yet, in most cases, cutting off contact or being neutral like a friend just helps a woman move on even faster.
Here’s the thing…
When a woman breaks up with a guy, it’s usually because she’s disconnected from her feelings of love, respect and sexually attraction for him.
So, if he then gives her a lot of space and doesn’t do anything to actively spark her feelings for him again, she will usually decide to use that time to move on and find herself a replacement man.
Additionally, when a guy promises his ex that he will wait for her, she starts to perceive him as being desperate, which turns her off even more.
So, if you want to get your ex back, stop waiting for her to care that you’re truly sorry and instead make her care by interacting with her and sparking her sexual and romantic feelings for you again.
Another mistake to avoid is…
4. Not focusing on attraction
After a breakup, a guy might start being desperate by begging, pleading, apologizing and generally doing whatever he can think of to convince his woman that he’s truly sorry.
A guy like that often makes the mistake of thinking that feeling true remorse for his actions will be enough to convince his ex to give him another chance.
Yet, it’s not.
For a woman to want to get back into a relationship with a man, he needs to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him first.
So, if you want your ex to accept your apology and open back up to you, you’ve got to focus on making her feel respect and sexual attraction for you again.
That is what works.
When you do that, her guard will come down and she will naturally want you back for her own reasons.
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