Why Don’t Women Approach Men?

We might be now living in a time that is a far cry from the “hunter and gatherer” world that our distant ancestors lived in, but when it comes to the basics of sexual attraction, not much has changed.

Modern women still want men to have the confidence to approach them, rather than women having to be ballsy enough to approach men. Women still want to be the “chosen one” rather than the one who does the choosing.

Why?

Well, it all comes down to survival instincts…

A woman’s attraction to a man is directly linked to his potential to survive, thrive and protect her.

It’s often difficult for guys to remember that we’re literally living on a planet in an apparently infinite universe of possibilities. Down here on planet Earth, life has always been challenging for humans and there have always been threats to our survival both personally and as a species.

Despite all the progress that humanity has made, we are still often just a natural disaster away from basic survival.

Just because everyone is showered and wearing nice, clean clothes in bars, nightclubs, cafes and shopping malls, it doesn’t mean that they can’t be forced back into basic survival in an instant.

It’s highly unlikely that a natural disaster is going to strike your city tomorrow, leaving you cut off from food, power and water and having to fend for yourself, but it is a possibility. Even though women never talk about these things, it is the possible threats to her survival that really drive her attraction for a man.

Essentially, are you the sort of guy who can stay strong, be smart and survive when things get rough, or are you the type of guy who would have trouble surviving amongst alpha males?

If you suddenly had to approach people and make friends and alliances in a basic survival situation, would you be an alpha male that other men respect or would you be ignored, pushed around and taken advantage of? Would she have to make alliances with people because you lack the social confidence to approach and talk to people?

Again, it’s highly unlikely that you would be put into that position in our modern, shopping mall society, but it is a possibility and at the core of a woman’s attraction for a man is her instinctive analysis of his ability to survive should shit hit the fan.

Women instinctively know that they need to find a mentally and emotionally strong man who can handle the challenges of life. However, if a woman approaches a guy herself, she can’t be sure whether or not he would have been confident enough to approach and talk to her on his own.

If he doesn’t have the confidence to do that, how confident will he be when life gets challenging? Will he be the sort of man who gets into a relationship with her and then never strives to follow through on his biggest dreams and ambitions in life, or does he has the type of personality and mindset that will ensure he rises up and reaches his true potential as a man?

Rather than giving mentally or emotionally weak guys a chance to be with her, a woman will usually just wait to be approached by a confident guy who goes after what he wants, even though it might be challenging and he might not get a positive result every time.

When you look at the world from a bigger picture perspective, it only makes sense that women are instinctively turned off by guys who are afraid to take a chance and go after what they want. It’s not good for the strength and survival of the human species for women to reward emotionally weak or insecure men with sex, love and devotion.

Imagine a world where women rewarded men for being afraid of approaching them…

Can you imagine it?

A guy would be hiding in the corner of a bar or a party and women would come over and say, “Hey, you look so scared…don’t worry, mommy is here to save you.”

Crazy world.

Thankfully, that ain’t how this world works.

In the real world that you and I live in (and that you have to accept if you want to be successful with women now and for the rest of your life), women reject nervous, self-doubting men and instead reward confident men with sex, love and devotion.

This instinctive rejection of weak men by women forces men to either be confident enough to approach a woman and pass her tests, or work his ass off (e.g. build up a great career, build muscle in the gym, etc) to hopefully impress women in other ways.

In today’s world, a lot of guys lack the confidence to approach women because women are often heard in the media (and in person) saying superficial things like, “Wow…look at his six pack abs” or “I only date handsome men” or “I want a rich man.”

The apparent attraction that women seem to have for the superficial traits of men causes a lot of guys to feel insecure if they don’t meet those requirements. Guys then worry about being rejected or laughed if they approach women.

Guys will say things like, “Women are all shallow, money hungry bitches” or “Women only want handsome men these days” or “I’m not going to approach women until I’m successful in my career because all they want is a rich guy.”

Yet, all around them, women are having sex with, getting into relationships with and even marrying guys who are not rich and who don’t look like male models.

Most Women Don’t Want to Make it Too Easy For You to Pick Them Up

If you approach a woman, don’t expect her to make the whole process of picking her up easy and without any obstacles. Instinctively, she is programmed to test your confidence in yourself to check whether or not you are truly an emotionally secure, confident guy.

Some guys make the mistake of working up the courage to approach women, but then actively look for signals that the women aren’t interested. When he picks on those signals, he then quickly exits the interaction and walks away feeling like he’s been rejected yet again.

What these guys often fail to realize is this many women suddenly stop contributing anything to a conversation to see if a guy will lose confidence in himself. Women instinctively do that to quickly “sort out the men from the boys,” because women don’t want to end up with an emotionally insecure guy.

The way that attraction works is that women instinctively seek to breed strength, courage and skill into the human race via men, whereas we men instinctively seek to breed beauty and health into the human race via woman.

That’s not to say that women don’t appreciate healthy, good-looking guys, but the fact is that a woman’s attraction for a man is primarily based on his ability to survive, thrive and protect her. If a guy is good looking, it is seen as a bonus to most women, but it’s not the ultimate attraction trigger for women.

Most women can go without a guy being good looking as long as he has the type of personality, behavior and mindset that will allow him to survive, thrive and hopefully protect her throughout life.

These days, a lot of guys spend years in the gym building up their body to hopefully become physically attractive enough for women. Other guys spend years building up a career in the hope that women will be impressed enough to give them a chance one day.

While there is nothing wrong with working out in the gym or building up your career and becoming successful as a man, you do not need either of those things to get laid or get a girlfriend today.

Watch this video to understand why you can attract a lot of beautiful, sexy, loving women with what you’ve got right now as a man…

As you will discover from the video above, when you know how to attract women, there is nothing to fear when approaching women.

Most of the single women that you approach will feel attracted to you and be interested in kissing you, having sex with you and starting a relationship with you, so you are simply going around choosing which women get to have a chance with you.

Most guys in this world approach women and hope to be “liked” for being a nice guy, looking good or showing that they can provide for her (e.g. buy her drinks, offer to take her out on expensive dates, offer to take her on a holiday, etc).

Rather than focussing on making the woman feel attracted, these guys hope that they can get lucky and find a woman who will give them a chance because they are so nice, have good intentions, etc.

Yet, that approach to women results in a lot of rejection and it also is one of the common causes of relationship break ups.

The smartest of men are those who use their personality to attract women. For example: If a guy approaches a woman and attracts her with his confidence, charisma, charm and humor, he won’t have to spend money on drinks, wine and dine her for weeks on dates or offer to buy her pretty things.

She will like him for who he is, not what is buying her or offering to buy her. If he doesn’t have male model looks, most women will not care and will actually come to like the way that he looks because it is him.

Regardless of How Much the World Has Changed, Women Still Want an Alpha Male

Today’s woman can earn her own money, be protected by the police, media and courts and can get food from supermarkets and grocery stores. She can buy her own house, drive her own car and call her own shots in life.

Yet, when it comes down to what she instinctively finds attractive about men, nothing has changed.

Women still feel the most amount of attraction for guys who display alpha male thinking and behavior. Alpha male thinking and behavior essentially means that a guy believes in himself, knows what he wants and goes after it with unrelenting confidence and determination.

Even though we now have supermarkets and smartphones, women still feel sexually drawn to guys who would be the best survivors if shit suddenly hit the fan. For example: If civil war broke out, a hurricane ripped through town or if there was a famine or drought.

Those events may seem unlikely, but the human instinct for survival is deep rooted and is at the source of a woman’s attraction for a man. On the other hand, the source of your attraction to women is not about how strong they are, but it is instead about how beautiful and healthy a woman is.

If women were the ones to go around approaching men, how could they be sure that they’d found an alpha male or if they were making a mistake by breeding with a guy who is only confident because the woman approached him?

Women instinctively leave the approaching to men because it’s the best way of ensuring that a guy is genuinely confident. When a guy does approach, most women will instinctively test his confidence by playing hard to get, not contributing a lot to the conversation or challenging him during a conversation.

Guys who don’t understand women will think that they are being rejected, whereas the alpha males who either instinctively understand women or who have learnt to understand women will embrace the opportunity to make those women feel even more attracted to them.

When a woman challenges an alpha male’s confidence by playing hard to get or going silent in a conversation and notices that he is still confident, relaxed and at ease, it then deepens her attraction and respect for him.

On the other hand, if a woman notices that a guy suddenly starts to doubt himself, become nervous and begin scrambling for something to say, she will know that he isn’t genuinely confident and is hoping that women go easy on him.

Women Approaching Men in Movies

Have you ever noticed that in Hollywood movies, TV shows and music videos, women tend to approach men?

This is included in the movie because it is entertaining for some people to see a woman approaching a guy and hitting on him immediately (e.g. stuffing her phone number in his shirt pocket, saying “Call me,” winking at him and then walking off).

Some women watching that might laugh and say, “Wow, I’d never do that…that girl is ballsy” and some guys watching might think, “Wow, if only I looked like that guy…then women would approach me and hit on me. I guess I have to hit the gym, wear better clothes and get a better hairstyle…”

Yes, women do approach some really good-looking guys in real life, but those women are usually unattractive, drunk or just approaching to show off to her friends for a laugh. If a good looking guy does get lucky is approached by a beautiful woman who is perfect for him, it is a very rare experience.

I know this because I often get contacted here at The Modern Man by guys say that they are good looking, but still can’t get a girlfriend. When I ask them if they approach women, it’s pretty much always a “No” or “I don’t have much time to approach and socialize with women.”

Here’s the thing…

If you want to enjoy sex, love and relationships with beautiful women who are truly compatible, you shouldn’t waste your time hoping that, one day, your perfect woman will approach you and then make it super easy for you to pick her up.

You have most-likely waste many years of your life waiting for that to happen already. Your precious, unique life here on this planet is ticking away and the more avoid your responsibility as a man to approach and choose women, the more you miss out on sex, love and relationships.

Some guys hope that if they can just wait long enough or build up an amazing career, a woman will go easy on him and not care that he doesn’t have the type of masculine confidence to maintain her attraction in a relationship.

Many guys do “get lucky” and score themselves a woman for a while, but there is a reason why the divorce rate is so high these days.

Women no longer have to put up with a man who doesn’t have what it takes to deepen her love, respect and attraction over time, so many guys get dumped or divorced when a woman eventually realizes that she has settle for a guy who refuses to be the man she needs.

Approaching and picking up women really is an easy thing for us guy because we can attract women with our personality. Most women are simply waiting for a guy who has the confidence to approach and the ability to attract them enough to justify having sex and beginning a relationship.

Yes, some women are picky and only want a guy who is perfectly good looking like a model and has loads of money, but the majority of women are much more flexible and open about what they find attractive in a guy.
The majority of women in real life do not behave like women in Hollywood movies, TV shows and music videos. Women may go around saying that they only want to be approached by a tall, handsome man with loads of money, but the majority of them are open to being attracted and seduced by all sorts of guys.

However, if guys don’t approach, many women will simply wait it out in the hopes of eventually being approached by a confident guy who isn’t afraid of her and has the ability to attract her.

So, if you’ve been asking yourself, “Why don’t women approach men?” it might be that you’ve been watching too many movies where beautiful women seem to approach guys and make it easy for them.

Yes, it would be nice if women were that easy, but they’re not and there is a deep, instinctive reason why. We are little humans on a planet who are trying to carve out an existence amongst an infinite universe of possibilities. To achieve humanity’s true destiny, we are going to need to become stronger and even more wiser than we are right now.

If you want to attract women, you need to let them see that you’re not a fearful man. You are mentally and emotionally strong and you can handle anything that life throws at you.

When women see that in you, they feel naturally attracted and drawn to you. It’s instinctive and regardless of what women might say (e.g. “I only want a handsome man”) what most women actually feel the most attraction for is who you are as a guy on the inside.

Having a pretty face as a guy isn’t going to ensure that you survive and thrive is the world suddenly descends into chaos (e.g. civil war, weather catastrophes, etc).

Women Want You to Choose Them

The way that the human mating dance works is that women have to show signs of health and beauty and if they are good enough, they will be chosen by an alpha male.

A mistake that a lot of men make these days is to spend a lot of time trying to make themselves look physically appealing in the hope that women choose them.

In other words, these days a lot of guys now think like a peacock bird…

In the peacock bird species, the male bird is the colorful and pretty one and he has to look healthy and vibrant to attract the plain-looking, brown female. If he looks good enough, she will breed with him.

Yet, in the human species, it is the woman who needs to be pretty and healthy and if she is good enough, you can then make a decision to allow her to have a chance with you.

If you are going through life hoping to be chosen by women, then you’re doing it wrong. The way that an alpha male (the type of guy that women are most attracted to) thinks is that he is more than good enough for women and he will decide which women get to have a chance with him.

A true alpha male knows that his attractiveness is based on his confidence, personality and emotional strength, not on how he looks. If he looks good, then good for him, but it’s not absolutely necessary for a guy to look like a model to attract women, as you would have seen with your own eyes in the world around you.

Building Up the Confidence to Approach Women

Approaching women is very easy when you are confident in your ability to attract women.

For example: If you know that when you approach a woman, you’re going to be able to attract her with your confidence, charisma, charm and humor, then you don’t have anything to worry about.

When you know how to attract women, what happens is that most (not all) of the single women you meet feel a lot of attraction for you and want to kiss you, have sex with you and begin a relationship with you.

After experiencing those types of results for a short while, you eventually get to the point where you know that you are more than good enough for women.

Rather than feeling nervous about approaching women or asking, “Why don’t women approach men?” you simply approach women that you find attractive and enjoy an endless stream of sex, love and relationships until you are ready to allow one woman to be your girlfriend or wife.