Why is it So Hard to Find a Girlfriend?

Have you ever noticed that some guys seem to have absolutely no problem getting a girlfriend, while other guys remain single and alone for months or even years of their life?

For a guy who is finding it hard to get a girlfriend, he may begin to believe that the reason why women aren’t interested in him comes down to his looks, financial status, height or some other superficial reason.

Yet, what is the real reason why many good guys fail with women? Watch this video to find out…

If you are good, decent guy and you’re wondering, “Why is it so hard to find a girlfriend?” trying asking yourself the following:

Are You Meeting Enough Single Women?

This might seem like a statement of the obvious, but unless you’re out there meeting single women, you are going to find it difficult to get a girlfriend.

Some guys stick to their small social circle, which usually consists of a few friends, their girlfriends and some of their friends. Within that social circle, there are often a few single women, but they aren’t always a good match for the single guy.

So, if he never takes the risk to approach women he doesn’t know, he may end up asking the question, “Why is it so hard to find a girlfriend?”

How about you? Are you approaching and meeting women that you find attractive? Have you seen some beautiful women that you would’ve love to have to met, but you just didn’t have the courage to walk up and say hello?

Many guys get stuck in thinking that if they just look good enough (e.g. build the perfect gym body, wear fashionable clothes, have a cool hairstyle, etc), then women will feel compelled to make the first move and approach.

Yet, that’s not how it works.

If a guy is really good looking and a girl is drunk or unattractive, she may approach. However, most women would rather wait to be approached by a confident guy than go around approaching nervous guy who are intimidated or fearing rejection.

Are You Being Way Too Friendly or Nice Around the Women You Like?

Sometimes guys find themselves asking, “Why is it so hard to find a girlfriend?” because they don’t know how to get beautiful women to interested in anything other than a friendly conversation or platonic friendship.

For example: A guy who recently contacted us here at The Modern Man explained that he couldn’t get his female friend to see him in a sexual way.

Part of his e-mail read, “She said she likes me and that any girl would be lucky to have me as their boyfriend, but when I asked her on a date she said she just wanted to stay friends, so what gives? Why would she say that I’m a catch, but not want me herself?”

The mistake that this guy and many other guys make is in trying hard to be liked by a woman when what they really want is for a woman to be sexually attracted to them. A woman will say that sort of thing when a guy isn’t making her feel sexually attracted enough to warrant having a sexual relationship.

In cases like this, the guy will be using the classic nice guy approach on her and expecting to be reward with sex, love and a relationship. Yet, that’s not how it works and here’s why…

There is nothing wrong with being nice to a woman, being friendly or being polite. However, if you want a woman to feel the desire to be your girlfriend (i.e. be in a sexual relationship with you), then you must focus on making her feel sexually attracted to you.

When a woman is sexually attracted to you, she will then appreciate the fact that you’re also a good guy. However, being a good guy is not enough on its own to turn a woman on sexually.

A woman can really like a guy as a friend without feeling any sexual attraction for him. Without the all-important sexual spark, she will only ever see him as a friend and not a potential boyfriend or lover.

Of course, the more that a guy likes a girl and wants to make her his girlfriend, the more likely it is that he’s going to behave in a way that leads to her not wanting to be anything other than “just friends.”

For example: Wanting to be liked can lead to trying way too hard to please. A guy who is desperate to be liked by a woman will often make himself available to her around the clock.

He’ll be at her beck and call whenever she needs help or someone to talk to, and he’ll always “be there” for her as a shoulder to cry on whenever her latest boyfriend has done something to upset her.

He will “LOL!” at all of her jokes online, click “like” on everything she posts on Facebook and instantly reply to any text message she sends him. In his mind, he is showing her that he likes her, respects her and cares about her. He’s also hoping that if he’s just nice enough to her, she will eventually realize that he is the one for her.

Yet, his behavior simply denies her the experience that she is really looking for, especially if she is attractive. What experience is she looking for? To attract and secure herself a guy who is not easy to pick up. In other words, she wants a guy who is more of a challenge.

Being available at her beck and call and instantly replying to everything she sends may cause her to enjoy the attention and even like having him around, but it’s not going to turn her on and make her hope and pray that she might get a chance with him.

She knows that he is desperate to be with her and that isn’t a turn on.

Are You Actively Making Women Feel Sexually Attracted to You?

A lot of guys don’t realize that most women walk around in “OFF” mode and you literally have to say and do things that turn the woman “ON.”

For example: If a guy is being confident and charismatic around a woman, it will flick her attraction switch to “ON.” However, if a guy is being nervous and really nice around a woman, she will remain in “OFF” mode.

The truth is, it’s only hard to find a girlfriend if you don’t display the qualities that women instinctively look for in a potential boyfriend.

When you display the qualities that women are naturally attracted to, you instantly become a man that women are interested in meeting and potentially being in a relationship with. They still won’t approach you, but they’ll make it obvious that they like you during a conversation.