Here are 5 common reasons why a woman will lie about that to her ex:
1. She wants the best of both worlds
Sometimes a woman will lie about having a new boyfriend to her ex because she likes the idea of having two guys who are interested in her at the same time.
She has a new guy, but her ex is also pursuing her, so she feels twice as valuable.
This boosts her self-esteem and makes her feel really good about herself.
When both guys want her, she can then think to herself, “Cool! This is great! Now I have a new boyfriend that I can do sexual and romantic things with and I also have my ex chasing after me, who seems to be available whenever I need someone to talk to, or when I need a favor. It feels good to know that my new boyfriend finds me desirable, while at the same time, my ex can’t get over me either. If things don’t work out with my new guy, I know that my ex will be there waiting for me, so I never have to be alone. I’ve got this sorted!”
So, don’t let her see you as her back up guy.
You’ve got to make her see you as being better than him and then hook up with her and get her back.
She is your woman, so get her back and make her new boyfriend history.
Use every interaction that you have with her from now on to reawaken her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you, so she starts doubting her feelings for her new boyfriend.
This makes her look at you in a more positive light and realize that you probably are the right guy for her after all.
When that happens, she opens back up to you and you can guide her back into a relationship with you and only you.
Another common reason why your ex girlfriend could be lying about having a new boyfriend is…
2. She’s worried that you might create drama
Sometimes a woman fears that her ex man might cause a scene, if she tells him that she has a new boyfriend.
For example: He might start begging, pleading, crying and saying things like, “How could you do this to me? Didn’t our love mean anything to you? How could you be dating a new guy already? Please give me one more chance. I will do anything to make things right between us and show you that no other guy can love you the way I do! Please baby, please.”
She will then have to deal with him falling apart in front of her, or on a phone call.
She may then have to try to calm him down by saying things that she doesn’t mean, “Okay, I promise that we will talk about our relationship. You have to calm down first though. If you’re being like this, then I don’t want to talk to you” or, “Okay, I will think about giving you one more chance if you stop crying.”
So, rather than getting dragged into that kind of drama, she just lies and says that she doesn’t have a new boyfriend.
Alternatively, a woman might fear that her ex will lose his temper with her and become aggressive or even violent if she comes out and tells him that she had a new boyfriend.
So, she protects herself from a potential attack by lying about her new guy.
Of course, you know that you’re a good guy and probably wouldn’t react in ways like that, right?
Yet, for your ex girlfriend, the old saying of “Better safe than sorry,” will usually be part of her exit strategy from a relationship.
If she’s worried about you creating drama or getting very angry, she would rather lie to you than risk having to deal with an emotional outburst of some kind.
So, does reason #2 apply to you and her?
If not, here is another common reason why your ex girlfriend could be lying about having a new boyfriend…
3. She isn’t proud enough of her new boyfriend to show him off to you
In some cases, a woman will quickly get into a rebound relationship (the relationship someone has right after getting out of a serious, long term relationship) with a guy who isn’t her ideal man, just to help herself get over her ex and not go back to him.
As a result, she might not be very proud of her new guy, so she doesn’t want you to know about him.
For example: He might be…
- Very plain looking, or even a bit ugly compared to you.
- Insecure and self-doubting compared to how confident you are.
- Less educated compared to you, her or the people she hangs out with (e.g. she’s a successful business woman, but her new guy is a blue collar worker who is into drugs, getting drunk all the time or other things that she wants to keep quiet).
- Lacking in social etiquette compared to her (e.g. she’s soft spoken and polite, while he likes to talk loudly and tends swear a lot and get into fights).
- Wimpy and easily bossed around by her and other people.
- Married and only be sleeping with her on the side.
- An old friend who has always loved her, but she has never really felt much attraction for him.
So, she will think something like, “He’s okay for now, but he’s not the kind of guy that I want in the long term. I’ll just use him to get over my ex and to stop my ex from trying to get me back. Then, when things have calmed down and he has begun to move on, I can dump my new guy and find the man of my dreams.”
Of course, if the new guy knows how to build on her feelings in the relationship, she might go from not being proud enough to show him off, to telling everyone (including her ex) that he is the man she loves and wants to be with for life.
On the other hand, if he fails to build on her feelings, she will never fully commit herself to being his woman and will probably break up with him as soon as can find a suitable replacement.
Another common reason why your ex girlfriend could be lying about having a new boyfriend is…
4. She cheated on you with him before breaking up with you and doesn’t want you to find out
If she did cheat on you before the break up and you find out about that, then she becomes the one who messed things up.
The break up becomes her fault and she doesn’t want that to happen because at the moment, she has been able to break up with you and walk away as though she did nothing wrong.
To avoid feeling guilty for cheating on you and betraying you in the way she did, she can focus on all the mistakes that you made in the relationship and blame you the break up.
So, if your ex girlfriend is lying about having a new boyfriend, a potential reason why is that she is trying to protect her self-image.
She wants you to feel as though the break up was 100% your fault, when in fact, she is the one who messed up and betrayed you by cheating on you.
Important: If she did that to you and you want to get her back, make sure that you don’t go to her now and say, “I know that you cheated on me with him before breaking up with me. Shame on you. The break up is all your fault.”
Blaming her won’t work.
So, what should you do instead?
You need to follow the same ex back process that you would follow if she hadn’t cheated on you.
You need to re-attract her, seduce her into kissing you and having sex with you and then make her want to get back with you.
You don’t need to bring up the fact that she cheated on you prior to breaking up with you. If you want to, you can, but you don’t need to do it.
If you want the relationship to work, just focus on building on her feelings from there and making sure that she never wants to cheat on you again.
When you build on her feelings and make her fall back in love with you, she will almost certainly reach a point where she cries, apologizes and asks for your forgiveness.
She will then try to be the best girlfriend she can be for you, to prove that she would never do that again.
If you then maintain the power in the relationship, she won’t ever want to cheat on you again.
Another common reason why your ex girlfriend could be lying about having a new boyfriend is…
5. She’s not sure if she wants to keep going out with him or get back with you
In some cases, a woman simply can’t make up her mind about how she feels about a guy.
On one hand, she might be thinking things like, “I love being in a new relationship. It feels so exciting and fun. I enjoy being treated like a princess by my new boyfriend.”
Yet, on the other hand, she will be thinking, “I do miss my ex though. I know that he made some mistakes and turned me off, but deep down I know he still loves me and if he changes, I could definitely see myself with him in the long term. I feel so confused right now. Should I just give up on my ex and focus on building a new relationship, or should I give my ex another chance and see where things go from there?”
Since she can’t make up her mind and choose between you and him, she lies and says that she doesn’t have a new boyfriend, to keep her options open with her ex.
Here’s the thing though…
If you want your ex back, you shouldn’t waste time and energy stressing out while you wait for her to decide between you and her new man.
Instead, make the decision easy for her by re-attracting her and making her feel more respect, attraction and love for you than for him (e.g. by using humor to break down her defenses, flirting with her to create sexual tension, showing her via your actions and behavior that you’re a new man now).
When she can see that her feelings for her new boyfriend pale in comparison to what she feels for you now, she will want to dump him and come back to you.
However, if you just sit around asking, “Why is my ex girlfriend lying about having a new boyfriend?” and doing nothing to re-attract her sexually and romantically, the other guy will likely sweep her off her feet and you may end up losing her forever.
4 Ways That Guys Go Wrong When Trying to Get an Ex Back Who is Lying About Having a New Boyfriend
Here’s where other guys mess up when in a situation like yours…
1. Trying to make her feel guilty for making him feel so sad, confused and upset
You might be feeling a range of emotions about how your ex girlfriend has been lying to you (e.g. you might be feeling upset, annoyed, angry, confused, betrayed, lost, heartbroken, disappointed).
However, as tempted as you may feel to say something along the lines of, “Why are you lying to me? Why can’t you just tell me the truth about what’s going on with you? I know that we’re not together anymore, but we did love each other before. So, based on that, you at least owe me the courtesy of being honest with me now. I don’t understand why you’re being like this. Does messing with my head make you feel good?” it’s just not going to work.
Trying to make a woman feel guilty for not wanting to tell you the truth about her personal life (i.e. whether she has a new boyfriend or not) rarely makes her open up and tell you.
Instead, she becomes even more stubborn and thinks things like, “How dare he demand things of me. We’re not even together anymore and contrary to what he believes, I don’t owe him an explanation at all. If I don’t want to tell him the truth about what’s going on with me, I don’t have to. He doesn’t own me. I have my reasons for lying to him anyway. Why can’t he see that? Does he have to make me spell everything out for him?”
So, rather than trying to guilt your ex girlfriend into being honest with you (which, even if it works, isn’t necessarily going to make her want you back), just focus on re-attracting her sexually and romantically whenever you interact with her.
The more sexual and romantic attraction she feels for you, the more willing and even happy she will be to open back up to you.
When that happens, you can then build on her feelings and get her back.
Another mistake that guys often make in these circumstances is…
2. Asking her if she loves her new guy more than she loved him
Sometimes a guy will ask his ex something along the lines of, “Just tell me the truth. Do you love him more than you loved me when we were happy?”
Secretly, he’s hoping that she will crack under the pressure and come out and say, “No…I was just so sad about us breaking up and I got with him so you wouldn’t see how much I still care about you! Of course I don’t love him more than you! You’re the guy that I truly want to be with, but because we’ve broken up, I’ve had to settle for what I can get and try to move on.”
He can then sweep her off her feet and they can get back together again.
Yayyy!!!
Unfortunately, something like that typically only happens in the movies.
In real life, when a guy asks his ex if she loves her new boyfriend more than him, she will usually feel turned off by what she perceives as his emotional neediness and insecurity.
Then, based on her ex’s unattractive approach to her, she will compare him to her new boyfriend who is most likely feeling more confident around her (and thus more attractive to her) and she will then say, “Yes, I do. I’m sorry, but I do.”
Here’s what you always need to remember: All women, including ex women, respond positively to a man’s confidence.
So, when you are confident about your attractiveness to her no matter what she says or does to try to make you doubt yourself, then she will naturally feel respect and attraction for you again, even if she doesn’t want to admit it.
Once you make her feel attracted to you again, you can then build on her feelings and get her back.
On the other hand, if you appear insecure and self-doubting, she will close herself off from you even more and focus on moving on with her new boyfriend, or another guy.
Another mistake guys make is…
3. Asking her if she’s happy
If you ask your ex girlfriend if she is happy with her new guy, don’t be surprised if she responds with something along the lines of, “Yes, I’m very happy. In fact, I’m happier than I’ve ever been before.”
Here’s the thing…
Even if she isn’t happy with him, she’s probably not going to come out and say that to you.
Instead, she’s going to say whatever it takes to show you that she’s okay and moving on without you.
So, by asking her if she’s happy, you’re not going to achieve anything positive for yourself and are just going to end up feeling worse about losing her.
At the same time, you will also be giving her the satisfaction of knowing that you still want her and are hoping that she leaves her new guy for you.
Don’t put yourself in that position.
You’ve got to approach the ex back process in a way that causes her to regret her decision to leave you and then want to give you another chance.
Another mistake guys make is…
4. Pretending to be happy that she has a new boyfriend, when he isn’t happy about it
Sometimes, as a way of covering up his feelings, a guy will say something like, “Well, I’m glad you’ve met someone else. I’m happy for you. I only want what’s best for you.”
He may then pretend to be over her and act as though he’s not interested in getting her back.
Yet, all a woman has to do is say something along the lines of, “Well, I’m not really that happy with my new boyfriend. To be honest, I just can’t stop thinking about you. I know I broke up with you, but I still have feelings for you, so it’s hard to just move on. Yet, I guess you’re over me, right? So I have to accept that and try to move on with my new guy,” to catch her ex out in his lie.
If her ex then quickly says something like, “No! I didn’t say I was over you! Of course I still love you and want you back” she will know that he was only pretending to be happy for her as a way of hopefully making her feel attracted to him for being so independent.
As a result, she will not only lose more respect for him, but she will also feel like she is in the power position and he is still trying to get her back.
So, don’t pretend to be happy for your ex and her new boyfriend if you’re not.
If your ex catches you out in lie, it will make it that much harder for you to get her back.
So, be honest about how your feel and what you want.
That doesn’t mean you should be soppy and pour your heart out to her.
It simply means that when you interact with her, you don’t pretend to be her neutral friend.
Flirt with her to build up sexual tension between you and her.
Make her feel drawn to you and want to hug you, kiss you and have sex with you again.
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