Why Some Guys Fail to Get Their Ex Back

The main reason why some guys fail to get their woman back is that they don’t know how to make her feel attracted in the ways that she really wants.

Some guys feel as though it would be wrong to attempt to attract her in the ways that I’m going to explain in this post.

For example: If a guy is talking to his ex girlfriend, fiancé, or wife on the phone and she’s going on and on about things, ranting on and on telling him how bad of a guy he is and how annoyed she is, how pissed off she is, etc, a lot of guys will just sit there and take it.

There are times when the guy needs to just sit there and listen and say, “Okay, yeah you’re right. I was wrong there. That was my mistake. I’m sorry.”

Yet, if a guy’s all ready done that, he doesn’t need to keep taking that verbal punishment over and over and over again. What’s going to make her feel attracted in a moment like that is a man who stands up for himself, but still continues to be a loving man.

When you stand up for yourself, it’s not about putting her down. It’s about standing up for yourself, showing her that you are the man, but also bringing the interaction back to love.

For example: A guy is talking to his ex girlfriend and she’s going on and on complaining about how he treated her in the relationship and saying the thing that she said over and over and over again before (e.g. that he never did the dishes).

What he can say at that point is, “Okay, so you want to talk to me about how I didn’t do the dishes. Tell me all about it, but let me just say this – you’ve already said it about five times, so let’s just say this one last time and then I’ll say yes, I understand and say that I’m sorry and then we don’t need to bring it up again.”

She then continues on, says the thing about the dishes and then a few minutes later in the conversation she brings it up again.

At that point he can say, “Oh right, here we go again. So, now we’re at number six…let’s see if we can make it to number 10 before the end of this phone call. If you mention it 10 times by the end of this phone call you win a prize.”

Talking to her in that way brings the conversation back to laughter and smiling, while still being a loving man.

It shows her that, “Hey, I’m in charge here. I’m in control. I’m the man. You don’t push me around,” but at the same time, “When I take power and control I don’t do it in a mean way. I don’t do it in an unloving way. I’m still being that loving man.”

When you come from a place of love, you are always in the higher position. You cannot lose when you’re coming from a place of love.

When you are also being a masculine man who stands up for himself, that is the sort of thing that deepens a woman’s respect, attraction, and love for you when in a relationship.

Another example is where a woman will text her ex boyfriend, fiancé, or husband and ask, “Do you miss me?” Some guys will reply with, “Yes, I miss you. Do you miss me?”

There’s nothing wrong with replying like that, but there’s also nothing there that’s going to get her smiling and laughing and thinking that it’s fun to interact with him, especially if during the breakup he was clingy and needy and insecure and didn’t take the breakup very well.

Another example reply to the question of, “Do you miss me?” is when a guy will try to go in the opposite direction and say, “No, I’m fine. I’ve moved on. Life is good.”

Now if that is true, then there’s nothing wrong with a guy saying it. However, if he’s only putting on an act and he really does want to get her back and he really does miss her, then there’s no point in lying to her like that.

Of course, sometimes lying to a woman like that will cause an insecure woman to think, “Huh? He doesn’t like me?! He doesn’t care about me anymore. He doesn’t miss me. I’m going to start flirting with him now and see if I can get him to like me again and miss me and then I’m going to break up with him again and really make him hurt this time.”

However, there’s no need for all those games.

What I recommend that you do is text her in a way where she can’t help but smile when she gets a text from you.

For example: You can reply and say, “Yes, I’ve been missing you so much that I’ve lost 20 pounds (20 kilos). I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. I’m dying here! Lol…just kidding. Of course I do miss you at times, but I’m fine. How about you? Are you missing me yet?”

The point of sending her a text like that is to show her that you’re not an emotional mess without her, but you’re also being honest and telling her that you do miss her at times.

This helps to bring her guard down when she’s texting back and forth with you because she can see that it’s really not a big drama to be texting with you.

You’re not being needy, you’re not being insecure. You’re not lying or trying to use tricks on her.

You’re just being cool and being confident and joking around and you’re not really trying to get anything from her.

You also have the confidence to say, “How about you? Are you missing me yet?” Which is actually a confident flirtatious thing to say.

If she comes back and says, “No I’m not missing you,” you can reply with, “Yeah right ;)” and add in, “I know you’re missing me like crazy.”

After that, the best thing to do is to get her on a phone call.

Get her smiling and laughing while she’s having a chat with you on the phone call. When you do that, she will then become more open to talking with you and meeting up with you in person. Her guard will come down and she will begin to open herself up to having feelings for you again.

The most important thing about getting her smiling and laughing is that it brings down her guard.

She realizes that she doesn’t need to be so cold and distant and tough when interacting with you. She doesn’t have to act like she doesn’t like interacting with you because when she interacts with you, she smiles and laughs and she feels good.

Don’t Waste Time Trying to Convince Her

Some guys fail to get their ex back because they don’t focus on making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for them.

Instead, a guy will sometimes waste a lot of time and energy trying to convince his woman why she should give him another chance. For example: He will tell her that he has changed, that they had a great relationship before, he is sorry, she means everything to him, etc.

Some guys will also try to get a woman back by buying gifts for her, paying for her rent, or helping her out financially. Yet, that isn’t what makes a woman feel respect and attraction for a man and want to be back with him in a relationship.

She might take the money and support that he’s offering her, but it’s not going to make her fall back in love with him.

A woman only appreciates gifts and support when it comes from a man that she respects, feels attracted to and loves. So, when a guy is trying to buy his woman back or impress her back in those ways it just doesn’t work.

When a guy feels like he’s done his best to show the woman that he’s changed, that he really loves her and that he’s willing to do anything and it’s not working, he will then often think that he needs to start ignoring her and hope that she comes running back to him.

Yet, walking away usually only gets a woman back if she is still in love with the guy. If a woman doesn’t have feelings for a guy, there is nothing for her to come running back to if he walks away.

She will almost always just use the time that he is ignoring her to move on with another guy, or to get over him and open herself up to dating.

What actually works to get a woman back is when you actively rebuild her feelings of respect, attraction, and love for you during interactions (i.e. via text, on the phone and in person).

To get your ex girlfriend, fiance or wife back, you need to be able to get her to respect you during conversations and then begin to trigger her feelings of attraction by making her smile, laugh, and enjoy interacting with you.

When you do that to a woman, she will automatically begin to drop her guard and become open to forgiving you, accepting your apology, and meeting up with you in person.

When you meet up with her person, you can then make her feel respect, attraction and love for you in new and exciting ways. You have to be willing though to change the way that you’ve been talking to her and interacting with her.

I’ll give you a quote here from Albert Einstein to really illustrate my point, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

In other words, if what you’ve tried so far hasn’t been working you shouldn’t keep trying the same thing over and over again.

For example: If you’ve been ignoring her and she’s not running back to you, then you’ve got to stop ignoring her. If you’ve been trying to convince her to give you another chance by pointing out the reasons why she should give you another chance and that’s not working, you should stop doing that too.

What I want you to know is that you can actively flick her attraction switch back on, but you have to be willing to start talking to her and interacting with her in new ways that are going to make her smile and laugh when she’s interacting with you.

If you want to greatly improve the chances of getting your ex back, you must be willing to stop saying and doing the things that have been turning her off.

You also have to be willing to interact with her in ways that are going to make her look up to you and respect you as the man. It’s not about putting her down and making her feel like she’s lower than you and she’s nothing compared to you, or that you are the boss and she has to listen to everything that you say.

Instead, it’s about being the man in a loving way.

When I coach guys via my phone coaching service I often come across guys and men who are very good guys. They are usually intelligent, successful in their career or if they are still at university, they are doing well and heading towards a great career.

Despite their intelligence, these men still make some classic mistakes when trying to get a woman back that pretty much every other guy makes. He isn’t failing at getting his ex back because he is silly or lacks IQ, but simply because he is using the wrong approach.

For example: Many guys try to reason with an ex girlfriend, fiancé, or wife by saying, “Why are you being like this? I’m a good guy. I’ve changed. I’ve apologized. Why can’t you see that we had a great loving relationship before? Why can’t you see that? Just give me another chance.”

Yet, the problem with that is when a woman doesn’t fully respect a guy as a man, all those things that he’s saying are just annoying and irritating to her. It doesn’t mean anything to her. It’s like, “Who is this guy trying to tell me what to do when I don’t even respect him?”

If you think about someone in your life who you don’t respect and look up to and they’re trying to tell you what to do and reason with you and get you to think the way that they want you to think, it just doesn’t wash with you.

You’re look at them and think, “Yeah, well who are you? I don’t even respect you.”

Yet, if you respect someone and look up to them and trust them, you are then more willing to listen to them and what they have to say.

This is why getting your ex to respect you again is the most important thing that you have to do when you begin trying to get her back. Once she respects you again and starts to feel attracted to you, then she starts to reconnect with the love that she used to have for you.

As long as you’re making her feel respect and attraction for you in new and exciting ways while you’re interacting with her, she’s going to be happy to reconnect with that love.

It’s going to feel good to interact with you in person. It’s going to be good to hear your voice over the phone. It’s going to feel good to be embraced by you.

You Can Re-Spark Her Feelings For You Again

The main point that I want you to understand here is that you can re-spark her feelings for you. Re-sparking her feelings is something that you can actively do while you interact with her via text, on the phone, in person and in the bedroom with her.

If you are saying and doing the types of things that are making her reconnect with her feelings for you and experience new and exciting feelings for you, then she is naturally going to drop her guard and become more open to you.

She might act as though it’s not really having an effect on her, but that act can only last so long.

Once she smiles and laughs a few times, there’s just no point in acting anymore.

She’s enjoying interacting with you and that’s what counts. Then, when you meet up with her, there are specific things that you need to say and do to get her to give you another chance and start the relationship again.

If you want to learn exactly what to say and do at each step of the process to get your ex back, I recommend that you watch my 10 hour video program called, Get Your Ex Back Super System

It also comes with two bonus programs. One of them is about getting her on the phone, texting her, contacting her via Facebook or social media, and the other program is about having ultimate makeup sex where you make her feel attracted in new ways in the bedroom.

You Are Allowed to Make Her Have Feelings For You Again

One final point I want to make for you is that she is currently your ex, but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to make her feel attracted to you again.

Some of the guys that I coach have said to me, “Well I don’t really feel like it’s my place to joke around with her anymore or flirt with her because we’ve broken up” or, “She has a new guy” or, “She said that she hates me.”

Doubting yourself and being insecure like that is not the way to get a woman back.

You need to be stronger than that.

You need to believe in yourself. You need to know there’s nothing wrong with being a loving man. There’s nothing wrong with guiding an interaction towards love, smiling and laughter. There’s nothing wrong with that.

You are allowed to make her smile and laugh and feel love.

She might not make that obvious to you, she might not tell you, “Hey make me smile, make me laugh, make me fall in love with you again,” but what she’s going to respond to is when you are strong enough and skilled enough to make that happen.