Many couples who break up and remain friends, are able to get back together and enjoy an improved relationship from then on.
Yet, not all women are open to being friends with an ex, even though she might have said she was when breaking up with her boyfriend.
So, if your ex agreed to be friends, but has been ignoring you, it will be due to one of the following reasons:
1. She only agreed to be friends to make you feel the need to be nice to her
Agreeing to be friends is a sneaky way for a woman to ensure that you’ll treat her well after a breakup.
If you don’t treat her well, she can then say that she no longer wants to be friends.
Additionally, she can move on and get out of the relationship a lot easier, rather than having to deal with her boyfriend possibly becoming angry, spiteful or making it difficult for her to leave him (e.g. not letting her collect her stuff from his house, calling or texting her nonstop, showing up at her house and demanding she come out and speak to him).
So, although she said that she would be friends with you now, it wasn’t what she actually intended.
Another possible reason why…
2. She initially wanted to be friends, but then closed up when she realized that you only want a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship
In a case like that, agreeing to be friends with you was just that (i.e. an offer of friendship only).
In other words, she was willing to text once in a while to say “Hey,” click like on some of your posts on social media, or be supportive if you ever needed someone to talk to.
So, if she then noticed that you only wanted a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and weren’t interested in being ‘just friends,’ it may have caused her to pull away if she didn’t feel the same way about you.
Here’s the thing…
Staying friends with an ex is an excellent way to get her back, but not if you seem to be wanting a relationship before re-attracting her.
If your ex only has friendly, non-sexual feelings and you then push for a relationship, it’s not going to work.
Why?
The feelings have to be mutual, or at least close to mutual for it to feel fair, right and like something she wants.
If it’s just you who is feeling attracted and in love, then it will feel like she’d be doing you a favor by getting back with you.
That’s not what women want.
So, if your ex is currently ignoring you when she agreed to be friends, you may have come on too strong with wanting a relationship, or she may have picked up on it (even though you were trying to hide it) based on how you’ve been interacting with her.
The best way to fix the situation is to focus on making her feel sexually and romantically attracted to you during interactions, but don’t hint at, ask for or talk about having a relationship.
Let her be the one who has that topic on the tip of her tongue, so she is the one who brings it up.
3. She isn’t sure how to be your friend without developing feelings for you again, or opening up to at least sleeping with you
This can happen if your ex fears that she’ll fall back in love, or end up in bed with you if she remains open to being your friend.
If she also believes that you haven’t really changed, then she’ll worry about having to go through yet another break up with you.
Then, to avoid all the pain, frustration and trouble, she’ll just ignore you and try to move on.
How can you fix the situation?
Let her sense that you’ve leveled up in ways that are important to her (e.g. you’re more emotionally independent now, you’re more of a challenge now so she feels like she has to impress you for a change rather than take you for granted, you’re more assertive and confident, you’re more manly in how you approach conversations and interactions with her).
When she gets the sense that things really could be different now and more importantly, she’d feel more respect, attraction and love for you than before, she then won’t worry about the possibility of falling for you again.
Instead, she’ll open up to being ‘friends’ to see where things go.
You can then attract her back into a relationship, or at least hook up with her again to see how you both feel afterward.
4. She has met a new guy and doesn’t want you interfering with it
Your ex might not have planned on meeting a new guy so quickly, but when she did, it caused her to change her mind about remaining friends with you.
Some common of the most reasons why a woman will change her mind in a situation like that:
- She doesn’t want her ex badmouthing her new guy, or trying to plant seeds of doubt in her mind about him (e.g. saying that he’s only using her for sex, saying that he’s a loser).
- She doesn’t want to make the new guy feel jealous, or cause him to worry that the friendship with her ex could lead to them getting back together.
- She doesn’t want her ex to find out about the new guy and then accuse her of cheating on him prior to the breakup, which she may have actually done (e.g. kissed the guy, or slept with him once).
- She doesn’t want to waste time sustaining a friendship with her ex (e.g. texting, messaging, being nice to him) and just wants to focus on her new relationship.
- She knows that her ex likes to cause trouble, or is the kind of guy to create a scene, or get into fights if he is angry enough.
As a result, she ignores her ex even though she agreed to be friends.
5. She says that to all boyfriends she breaks up with because it makes her feel like she is in control of the situation, not him
Agreeing to be friends helps ensure that her ex struggles to fully get over her and move on, because he’s always hoping that she will change her mind and give him another chance.
She will sense that and pick up on it based on how he texts her, or what he says on the phone or in person.
She’ll know that he wants her back, but she doesn’t want him back, which will boost her ego.
Additionally, if she happens to struggles to find a replacement man, she can temporarily get back with her ex until something better comes along, or until she is ready to dump him and break his heart once again.
How can you win in a situation like this?
Take control of the situation by making her feel attracted to you in new and exciting ways, which then make her realize that her feelings for you are stronger than ever.
Then, get back with her and create a new relationship dynamic where she feels the need to impress you and maintain your interest, otherwise she will lose you.
At the end of the day, that’s what women really want, as long as you also treat them well, of course.
A woman wants to be in a situation where she feels very lucky to be with you, but also feels respected, loved, appreciated and wanted.
If it’s you who feels lucky to be with her and she doesn’t feel that way at all, it’s a recipe for disaster and will result in you being cheated on, dumped or sticking with a loveless relationship until it breaks up.
So, if you want your ex back and want to be happy in a relationship with her, make sure that you prepare yourself to succeed this time.
Don’t let her call the shots, or control the dynamic and then lead you towards heartbreak once again.
Another possible reason why she agreed to be friends, but is now ignoring you…
6. She couldn’t work up the courage to tell you that she didn’t want to speak to you anymore
In a case like that, a woman is usually a nice girl who hates hurting people’s feelings, or simply doesn’t like confrontations.
So, rather than saying, “Look, what we had is over. We should just go our separate ways now and not contact each other anymore. I don’t want to be friends. It’s over” and risk you potentially becoming upset, angry or trying to talk her out of her decision, she simply pretends that she wants to be friends.
Then, once she’s no longer around you, she will ignore you and focus on moving on.
7. She doesn’t want to be continually reminded of you, so she is ignoring you
Initially, your ex thought that she could be friends with you.
Yet, she then struggled to stop thinking of you, missing you and imagining getting back with you.
So, she decided to ignore you to hopefully help herself get over you and move on.
8. Someone told her that she could cut off contact with you, rather than leaving things open
It’s possible that one of her friends suggested that she wouldn’t be able to fully move on if she kept you in her life as a friend.
Alternatively, she may have read an article online that helps women get over a breakup and move on (i.e. she learned about the No Contact Rule, which helps a woman move on from a guy, by encouraging her not to contact him for 30 to 60 days after the breakup. Some guys try to use the No Contact Rule to get an ex woman back, but almost all women simply move on).
Whether a friend told her to cut off contact, or she got the advice from an article or video online, your ex may currently be trying to follow that advice to see if she can get over you and make a fresh start in life.
9. She had no intentions on remaining friends with you and thought you knew that
Many people say, “Let’s stay friends,” or “Keep in touch” to someone when breaking up, but don’t actually mean it at all.
It’s often said to be nice, or as an attempt to end things on good terms, rather than walking away feeling angry, resentful or hating each other.
People who have a lot of experience with relationships know that, but if a guy hasn’t been through many breakups, he may have made the mistake of taking everything his ex girlfriend said literally.
10. She doesn’t feel enough attraction for you to feel motivated to stay in touch, or reply
Sometimes, a woman will initially agree to be friends with her ex in the hope that he will change (e.g. he’ll suddenly become more confident, more manly in his behavior or approach to interactions with her, more able to flirt and create sexual tension between them), so they can get back together.
Yet, when a woman notices that her ex isn’t changing in ways that make her feel attracted (e.g. he seems more insecure now, talks to her like a friend or as though he’s a rejected, unwanted guy), then she will lose interest in remaining friends with him.
At that point, she might begin to ignore him because she won’t see any point in pretending to want to be friends.
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