Not necessarily.
Here are 5 common scenarios where a wife will move out and seem to be sure about separating or divorcing, but the husband can still get her back.
1. She is sick and tired of all the arguing and needs some time and space to think
Almost all marriages start out with a man and a woman madly in love with each other and looking forward to spending the rest of their lives together.
Yet, over time, that initial cloud of happiness and optimism can fade away and get replaced by the humdrum of everyday life (e.g. cooking, cleaning, paying bills, going to work, running errands).
This can then lead to feelings of frustration that result in arguments or disagreements.
Initially, they always seem to be able to kiss and make up.
Yet, sometimes, the disagreements turn into huge fights where both of them feel unheard and misunderstood.
If it keeps happening again and again over the years, it can end up driving them apart.
Eventually, the woman stops remembering all the good times and focuses on the negatives.
She may then end up thinking something like, “All we ever do these days is fight, argue and blame each other for everything that’s wrong in our marriage. Nothing seems like fun anymore and instead of being in love, I feel stressed out and annoyed all the time. I need to take a break and just have some time by myself so that I can think about where my life and my marriage is going.”
She might then move out, leaving her husband, understandably feeling upset and wondering, “Is the marriage over?”
The good news is, that no, the marriage doesn’t have to be over if he doesn’t want it to be.
However, that doesn’t mean he should sit around and wait for his wife to figure out how she feels and then come back to him.
The longer she spends away from him, the more likely it is that can decide that her life is much better without him.
She will then probably choose to go through with a divorce, rather than stay in a marriage that no longer makes her feel happy.
Additionally, when her husband is not around reactivating her sexual and romantic feelings for him, another guy might be.
She could meet someone at work, in the neighborhood or through mutual friends who makes her feel attraction for him and that can be the last straw that convinces her she’s better off moving on and making a fresh start, rather than hanging on to a relationship that no longer works.
So, if a guy wants to get his wife back in a situation like this, he can’t just sit around waiting for her to “come to her senses.”
Instead, he needs to understand what underlying issues caused all the arguments in the marriage and make some adjustments to his communication style.
He then needs to call his wife on the phone and use some humor to make her laugh and smile and relax her guard a little bit so she agrees to meet up with him in person.
At the meetup, he needs to focus on re-sparking her sexual and romantic feelings for him via the way he talks, act, behaves and responds to her.
He needs to show her that he has learned from his past mistakes and that he’s no longer going to allow unimportant things to get in the way of the respect, attraction and love they feel for each other.
Even when she tests him, by mentioning something that would have caused him to get upset and would then lead to an argument between them, he remains calm and relaxed.
She will then naturally start to believe that things really can be different this time.
As a result, she opens up to moving back in with him and making the marriage work.
Another common scenario where a wife will move out and seem to be sure about separating or divorcing, but the man can still get her back is…
2. She is no longer in love with her husband and wants to get divorced, but doesn’t want to be seen as a divorcee by friends, family or coworkers
Based on a man’s approach to the marriage, a woman will either feel motivated to contribute to the relationship and be a loving, loyal, devoted woman to him, or she will feel like pulling away, being closed off and losing her desire to stick with him over time.
So, if a guy fails to build on his wife’s initial feelings of love as the marriage progresses, she may become disconnected and start to feel that she’s better off without him.
For example: She might say to herself something along the lines of, “There’s no point in sticking around anymore. The love I once felt for him is dead and I don’t know if it can even be revived. Nothing about his actions or behavior makes me feel optimistic that things can get better.”
As a result, she may decide to move out.
However, at the same time, she may secretly be worrying about what people will think if they find out that she’s getting a divorce.
The truth is, even though divorce is very common in today’s world and statistics say that up to 50% of married couples will part ways, there are still many cultures and religions that don’t condone this.
So, there are many women who may feel unhappy in their marriage and possibly even move out, but deep down they can be wondering things like, “What will my parents/family/friends/coworkers say when they find out I want a divorce? Will they look down on me and think of me as a failure? Will they blame me for not being a good wife and trying to make my marriage work?”
Of course, if a woman is very unhappy in her marriage and her husband doesn’t make any effort to level up and then reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for him, she will put her concerns aside and go through with a divorce, regardless of what people might say.
However, if her husband quickly changes his approach to attraction with her and begins making her feel the way she wants to feel in the marriage with him (e.g. loved, appreciated, respected, taken care of), she will naturally reconsider leaving him for real.
In a case like that, it won’t even matter to her what people might say about her choice to stick with her husband.
Instead, she will start reconnecting with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for her husband again for quickly becoming the man she always wanted him to be.
When that happens, she becomes more open to working things out with him for her own reasons (e.g. she doesn’t want to divorce him and regret it later on, she wants to explore her new feelings for him, she wants to see if their marriage can get better than it ever was).
So, the important thing to remember is that, if you want to save your marriage with your wife, you have to make her reconnect with her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you, based on your attitude, actions, behavior and the way you respond to her from now on.
The more she sees that things really are different now, the more open she will become to making the marriage work rather than walking away for good and risk losing you, as well as being branded as a divorcee.
3. She still loves her husband, but is fed up with things not working and wants to try to live life on her own for a while
A woman might love her husband very much, but if she always seems to be trying to make things work in the relationship, while he has the mindset that they are now married so that should be enough to see them through the rough patches, she will begin to feel stressed out and unhappy.
For example: Some of the things that can make a woman feel fed up about her marriage and want to move out are…
- She’s always the first one to apologize and initiate a reconciliation after they have a fight, while he sulks and mopes for days on end.
- She’s always taking care of the household and cleaning up after him while he never seems to pull his weight.
- She’s the responsible one who tries to budget so they can pay the bills and live a comfortable life while he spends their savings without discussing it with her.
- She’s always making excuses for him to her friends and family (e.g. because he avoids going with her when she visits them, he is lazy and depends too much on her to take care of them both, he isn’t making progress in his life).
- She feels smothered by him because he’s too clingy, needy or jealous and controlling.
If she then also happens to notice how happy and at ease her girlfriends, female family members and coworkers are in their relationships with their guys, she may begin to wonder things like, “Is this how it’s going to be for me for the rest of my life if I stick with him in the marriage? Is that something I want to put up with? Why should everyone else around me have a relationship that works naturally, while I’m always making excuses for my marriage to myself and to my family and friends? How long am I going to continue allowing myself to live with so much stress and unhappiness?”
So, rather than put herself through that kind of stress, she may decide to move out and focus more on living her life on her own for a while.
This is why, if her husband wants to save their marriage, he can’t just apologize to her and promise that things will be different this time around.
Instead, he has to show her, via his attitude, actions, behavior, conversation style and the way he responds to what she says and does, that he really is different now and that he won’t relapse back into old patterns of negative behavior (e.g. taking her for granted, being irresponsible, not taking the lead and having a clear purpose and direction for their life together).
When she experiences his new approach to their relationship and to her (i.e. he now creates a dynamic where he’s a good man to her and makes her feel loved and appreciated making her feel motivated to be a loving, attentive, devoted woman to him too), she will naturally feel herself being drawn to him again in new and interesting ways.
She will then realize that maybe the marriage is worth saving after all and that being single is not what she really wants.
He can then use his interactions with her to fully reactivate her feelings of love, respect and attraction for him and get her to move back in and work on making the marriage better than it ever was before.
4. She is interested in a new man and wants to explore that and see how she feels
Sometimes, a woman might get caught up in the romance of falling in love, planning her wedding and feeling excited about the honeymoon.
However, once they settle into married life, she might begin to feel a bit bored.
This usually happens when other, seemingly more important things begin to take first place in their lives (e.g. making ends meet, buying and paying off a house, having and then caring for children).
She might then start thinking things like, “I don’t know why I’m feeling like this? Is this normal? Maybe this is how marriages are supposed to be and I’m just expecting too much. Every relationship eventually becomes routine and ordinary, right?”
She might then try to distract herself with other things like work, taking care of their home or children, or volunteering her time to a worthy cause.
However, if she then happens to meet and interact with a man who makes her feel surges of sexual and romantic attraction again, she might get swept up by the thrill of a new romance again, without the responsibilities.
She may then decide to move out and explore her feelings for the new man.
Of course, to her husband, this might come as a shock and he may even feel that she’s being immature by not realizing that marriage comes with responsibilities.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Gone are the days when a woman would stay in a marriage regardless of how unhappy she felt, simply because it was expected of her (i.e. for the sake of her family and because it was considered socially unacceptable).
In today’s world, a woman can walk away from her marriage whenever she feels like it and for whatever reason she chooses.
Of course, that doesn’t mean a woman will leave her husband for no reason at all.
However, if she feels that she’s not getting the romance and attraction she really wants and then gets swept off her feet by someone else, she may decide to move out and see if things will be different with the new guy.
Fortunately, her husband can get her back, because in most cases, the new guy will usually just be filling in the emotional gaps that he left open.
For example: If he has been focusing too much on making progress in his career so that he can provide for his wife and any children they may have, his wife may have felt unappreciated and neglected.
So, it’s probable that the new man she’s attracted to is more attentive and spends a lot of his time making her feel special and wanted.
Yet, that doesn’t mean that he’s perfect.
In fact, it’s quite possible that after a while, his undivided attention might become smothering to her.
She may also realize that he gives her a lot of attention because he doesn’t have anything else going on in his life other than the relationship with her.
She will then naturally start to feel turned off by what she perceives as his emotional dependence on her.
Of course, that doesn’t mean her husband should just wait in the background for her to notice the new guy’s faults and then come back to him when she’s ready, because that might not happen.
Instead, he has to focus on learning from his mistakes and bounce back with an improved ability to make her feel respect, attraction and love for him.
The better he is at making her feel sexually and romantically attracted during interactions with her, the faster she will reconnect with her feelings of love for him.
When that happens, she will realize that what she had with him was real and that she made a mistake by moving out.
They can then get back together again and enjoy a marriage that is built on deep, enduring love.
5. She no longer feels attracted to her husband and hopes that by moving out, they both might miss each other and the spark will come back
Quite often, the one complaint that a lot of women have when they get married is that once the initial thrill of being in love wears off, the spark of attraction between her and her husband starts to fade away.
So, although at first everything felt exciting and new and they really enjoyed being together, kissing, touching and having sex, over time she began to notice that her husband was unable to maintain her feelings of sexual attraction for him.
She also realized that although at the beginning of their marriage he treated her like a sexy, desirable woman, he now made her feel more like a neutral friend or his roommate.
As a result, the spark of sexual attraction that was originally there disappeared.
Here’s the thing…
She might then say to herself something along the lines of, “I know that he’s a good guy and he loves me. However, the spark between us is gone. Our marriage feels more like a friendship now. I don’t know if I want to get divorced, but maybe if I move out for a while, it will make us miss each other and maybe bring back the sexual attraction we once felt for each other, rather than feeling like neutral friends.”
Of course, time apart doesn’t magically bring the spark of attraction back to life.
A guy needs to actively make that happen.
How?
By using every interaction he has with his wife, over the phone and especially in person, to create a dynamic that makes her feel the way she wants to feel when she’s with him (e.g. feminine, girly, free to be an emotional woman).
One of the ways he can do that is by being more emotionally masculine in the way that he thinks, talks, feels, behaves and acts in comparison to her.
Another way is to flirt with her to create sexual tension between them, so she wants to release that tension with kissing and sex.
When he can make her feel that way around him again, the spark will naturally and easily begin to come back.
She will then want to move back home and be with her husband again, because that’s where she feels the happiest, most fulfilled and where she belongs.
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