It depends on the following:
1. If you admit your faults via text or email
Admitting your faults to your ex is not necessarily a bad thing.
In fact, it can be a way of showing her that you’re being emotionally mature enough to take responsibility for your actions and the part you played in causing the end of your relationship with her.
That’s not to say that everything was your fault, just that you’re aware that certain of your actions and behaviors turned her off and made her disconnect with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.
However, admitting to your faults via text or email is usually not a good idea.
Why?
When a woman can’t see the expression on your face, hear the tonality of your voice, or gauge your body language in person or on a phone call, texting or emailing her a list of all your faults will usually only be viewed in light of her current feelings for you.
In other words, if she’s feeling angry, disappointed and resentful towards you, then you admitting to her that you made mistakes may intensify those feelings inside of her.
Then, rather than making her think something like, “Wow, he’s being so emotionally mature all of a sudden. I’m so impressed with him for having the courage to admit to all his faults. Based on that, maybe I should give him another chance after all,” she instead ends up thinking things like, “Does he really think he can fix our relationship via text, just by admitting his faults to me? Doesn’t he realize that he’s just making matters worse by reminding me about things I’d forgotten about? The only thing he’s managed to do is to annoy me even more and highlight to me why I broke up with him in the first place.”
She then closes up even more and possibly even blocks his number on her phone or lists his email address as spam, so that he can’t contact her anymore.
This is why, if you want to admit your faults to make your ex give you another chance, it’s always best to do it over the phone or in person, where she can hear the sincerity in your voice and gauge your body language while you’re doing it.
Additionally, even when admitting your faults to her over the phone or in person, she will only view it in a positive light if you first reactivate some of her sexual and romantic feelings for you (e.g. by using humor to break down her defenses and make her feel relaxed to be talking to you again, maintaining your confidence with her when she’s being cold and distant).
So, if you want your ex to give you another chance, get on a phone call or get to an in person meetup right away.
From there, continue being the good man that you are and let her see that, even though you’ve made some mistakes, you’re willing to focus on rebuilding the trust, respect and love between you and her from now on.
When she can see for herself that you really are a more emotionally mature man now, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling some surges of respect and attraction for you again.
When that happens, the idea of giving you another chance becomes something she’s open to again.
Another thing it depends on is…
2. If you admit your faults on the phone or in person, but she can see that you still haven’t changed
Sometimes a guy will approach admitting his faults to his ex in the right way, by actually calling her on the phone or meeting up with her in person to do it.
He might then say things like, “I totally understand why you broke up with me. I stuffed up by being too clingy/jealous/arrogant/not giving you enough attention. However, I want you to know that I see my mistakes now and I’m working on being a better person. I’m truly sorry for hurting you the way I did and I hope you can accept that.”
Yet, even though he might sound sincere, his attitude, actions and behavior seem to be contradicting him.
For example: A guy might admit to being arrogant, only to ‘arrogantly’ expect her to give him another chance just because he acknowledged it to her.
Alternatively, he may confess to being jealous and then get annoyed when he sees her smiling at the waiter or at another guy she happens to look at.
She then realizes that he’s just saying what he thinks she wants to hear so that she will give him another chance.
This causes her to actually lose even more respect and attraction for him and has the opposite result to what he was hoping for (i.e. she wants nothing to do with him).
This is why, if you want your ex to want to be your girl again, you need to show her via your attitude, actions, behavior and the way you talk and interact with her that you’ve already changed and improved some of your faults.
That’s much more important to her than just admitting to them and then carrying on behaving in the same old ways that turned her off in the first place.
For example: Some of the improvements you might make are…
- Becoming more confident and self-assured about your attractiveness and value to her, rather than feeling insecure and unsure of yourself with her.
- Improving your ability to make her feel like a sexy, desirable woman in your presence, rather than making her feel neutral or even worse, turned off by you.
- Being more of a challenge to her, thereby making her feel motivated to impress you and chase you, rather than being boring and predictable, so she feels as though she can get away with anything and you will still want her.
- Being more emotionally masculine in your attitude, thinking and behavior, rather than allowing her to dominate you with her confident personality.
- Focusing on achieving some of your own goals and dreams in life, so that you don’t feel the need to be clingy, needy, jealous or controlling anymore.
When your ex can see for herself that you really have changed and are now at an upgraded level than you were before, she will not only start seeing you in a more positive way, she will also feel respect for you for being man enough to admit your faults.
When she respects you again, she also starts to feel attracted to you and when that happens, her defenses will come down.
She will then naturally open back up to talking to you and being with you more and more and you can then fully re-attract her and get her back.
On the other hand, if all you do is admit to your faults and then carry on thinking, acting and behaving in the same old ways as before, she will remain closed off and not want anything to do with you.
Another thing it depends on is…
3. If you admit your faults and end up giving her a false sense of being too good for you
Sometimes, a guy will do anything to get his ex back.
That may include him admitting to his faults and even putting himself down as a way of showing his ex how sorry he is for what happened and to hopefully convince her to give him another chance.
Yet, what a guy like that usually doesn’t realize is that making himself appear like the ‘bad guy’ in the relationship, can sometimes have the opposite effect to what he’s hoping for.
In other words, rather than make a woman want him back, she instead begins thinking things like, “I just realized that I definitely made the right decision by breaking up with him. He’s just so messed up! I see now that I can do much better for myself, so why should I settle for a guy with so many faults?”
She will then likely close herself off from him even more and focus on finding herself a new man to get into a relationship with.
Here’s the thing though…
She’s not too good for him.
In fact, she’s lucky to have a guy like him.
Yet, she doesn’t see that because his approach to re-attraction isn’t effective (i.e. he’s giving her the impression that she’s out of his league and that he would be fortunate to be with her again, which then gives her a false sense of superiority over him).
Essentially, by admitting his faults to her he’s giving her the impression that she will be trading down by giving him another chance, even though that’s not true.
This is why, if you decide to admit your faults to your ex to get her back, you do it in a confident, emotionally strong way.
That means you need to project a “Yes, these are my faults, but that doesn’t make me less of a man. I’ve learned from my mistakes and I’m even better than I was before and I deserve to get you back,” kind of attitude when you talk to her.
When you approach it that way, not only do you come across as an emotionally mature man who is willing to face up to his mistakes, she also feels like she will be winning by giving you another chance (i.e. because you’re in her league).
She will then naturally drop her guard and open back up to the idea of being your girl again.
Another thing it depends on is…
4. If you admit your faults, but then end up directly or indirectly blaming her for your faults
A common mistake that guys make, is turning something that can have a positive effect (i.e. admitting his faults to his ex), into something that annoys her and pushes her away even more.
This happens when a guy takes his mistakes and twists them into something he can blame his ex over.
For example: A guy might decide to admit that he has a bad temper.
Yet, rather than saying something along the lines of, “I want you to know that I realize I have a bad temper and I’m working on improving that,” he instead says something like, “Yes I have a temper, but you always set me off when you come home late/don’t call me when you say you will/wear revealing outfits/go out with your friends without me.”
Alternatively, he might lack focus and direction in his life but when he admits that to his ex he says something like, “I know I’m not really that ambitious, but I love you so much that I hate being apart from you long enough to focus on other things. Why don’t you like it that I’m such a loving and devoted boyfriend/husband to you?”
As a result, the woman feels as though he’s being insincere when he admits his faults to her and so she doesn’t feel compelled to open back up to him and give him another chance.
In some cases, a woman might even get more annoyed with her ex and she may decide to cut him out of her life entirely (e.g. by blocking his number on her phone, unfriending or blocking him on social media and avoiding seeing him in person).
It then becomes a lot more difficult for him to interact with her and reactivate her feelings for him so that he can get her back.
In the meantime, she has more time to move on and find a replacement man.
Another thing it depends on is…
5. If you admit your faults before re-attracting her sexually
A guy might sometimes make the mistake of thinking that admitting his faults to his ex is the main thing that will make her give him another chance.
So, rather than interact with her first and re-spark some of her sexual and romantic feelings for him, he instead starts the ex back process with a confession about his faults.
Naturally, when a woman who isn’t feeling a lot (or any) respect, attraction and love for a guy hears a list of all his flaws, rather than think something along the lines of, “That’s so sweet of him to admit that he’s not perfect. I really respect that about him. Clearly he’s willing to make things work between us. I think I’m going to give him another chance after all,” she feels more turned off.
She may then think something like, “Wow! I never realized how many faults he really has, that I was living with all along. I’m so grateful that I broke up with him when I did.”
She then doesn’t want anything more to do with him.
On the other hand, if he first interacts with her over the phone and especially in person and sparks her feelings for him (e.g. by making her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to him, maintaining his confidence with her even when she’s being cold or bitchy towards him, flirting with her to spark some sexual tension between them) and then he admits his faults, everything changes.
Her defenses come down and she starts thinking things like, “He’s being so emotionally mature all of a sudden. He’s so different now. Maybe we can work things out after all.”
She then becomes open to talking to him over the phone and seeing him in person more often, to see where things go.
When that happens, he can then fully rebuild her feelings for him and get her back.
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