It depends.
Here are 5 possible outcomes for you and her:
1. She will come back if she only really left you due to big changes in her hormones
When a woman is pregnant a lot more changes than just the shape of her body.
She also experiences fluctuating hormones that can completely upset mental and emotional well-being as well.
In fact, according to Dr. Lucy Puryear, a psychiatrist specializing in women’s reproductive mental health at Baylor College of Medicine, a woman can experience six (or more) different types of emotional changes while she’s pregnant and after the baby is born, in addition to all her other usual emotions.
For example:
- Mood swings (e.g. moodiness, irritability or annoyance over things that would normally not annoy her).
- Fear (e.g. of having a miscarriage, of doing something wrong that will impact the baby, of whether or not she will be a good mother, about the stability of her relationship in the future).
- Anxiety (this can be intensified if a woman was prone to being stressed or feeling anxious before she fell pregnant).
- Forgetfulness (i.e. mental fogginess and occasional memory lapses, which can add to her stress levels).
- Weepiness (e.g. crying for no reason).
- Nesting instinct (i.e. preparing for the baby’s arrival, in some cases, obsessively).
Based on that, chances are high that your ex may have been going through a fair bit of unusual, emotional turmoil when she broke up with you.
When her hormones begin to change throughout the pregnancy, she may begin to think, “What have I done? How could I have acted so crazy? I don’t want to be broken up. Why did I leave him? Did I over-react?”
Another possibility is…
2. She won’t come back because she isn’t attracted to you and doesn’t believe that will change
Once again, when a woman is pregnant, a lot of the things she may have previously suppressed or ignored suddenly come to the forefront.
For example: She might realize that although her guy is a really nice guy, she hasn’t actually felt a spark with him for a very long time and instead of experiencing sexual and romantic feelings for him, she feels more neutral or friendly towards him.
Yet, now that she’s pregnant, making decisions about her future become more pressing and serious.
As a result, she might decide not to remain stuck in a relationship that doesn’t fulfill her emotional needs and expectations just for the sake of the baby.
She may even say to herself, “I know this is going to be difficult, but I honestly don’t believe things will change because he doesn’t know how to make me feel attracted. He makes me feel more like a friend. So, I will probably end up breaking up with him anyway and it will be harder after the baby is here. So, this break up is for the best.”
In a case like that, a woman will try to stick to her decision and not go back to her ex.
Yet, that doesn’t mean her ex man can’t change how she feels and as a result, get her to willingly decide to give him another chance.
If her ex can re-spark her feelings of attraction for him and show her that he’s changed in some of the ways that are important to her, getting back with him will suddenly become something that she wants to do.
So, if you want your pregnant ex to come back, make sure that you give her good reasons to do so.
For example: Come up with a clear list of reasons why she broke up with you.
Then, when you know what was turning her off, start to change and improve yourself in ways that will re-attract her.
By the way…
If you’re unsure where to start, here are some questions that will help you uncover the deeper, possibly even secret reasons why your woman may have broken up with you:
- Did you have a long term plan for your life together and were you actively pursuing that plan, or were you just drifting along without any serious goals or ambitions and spending more time watching TV or playing video games than focusing on your future and the future of your family?
- Were you loving, attentive and caring towards her, or were you too wrapped up in your own world (e.g. your work, hobbies, hanging out with your friends, playing video games, your goals in life) to notice that she felt neglected and abandoned by you?
Was your relationship balanced where you had goals and dreams and were making progress towards them, but you also made time to make her feel appreciated and important too? - Did you give too much or too little to the relationship?
- Did she feel the need to impress you and maintain your interest, or was it one-sided where only you felt the need to impress her and maintain her interest?
- Were you the more dominant one in the relationship, or did you let her get away with bad behavior and become disrespectful towards you?
- Did you make her feel like an attractive, desirable woman in your presence, or did you treat her more like a neutral friend (e.g. you and her ended up hanging out like buddies)?
- Did you maintain your confidence when she lost control of her emotions and was throwing a tantrum or creating drama, or did you lose your composure, get angry or sulk?
- Did you maintain her sexual and romantic feelings for you over time, or did you just assume that because you both loved each other at the start, the relationship would last for life no matter what?
Once you know what to fix, you can then focus on fixing that and getting her back by re-attracting her to the new and improved you.
You don’t have to fix everything or become perfect.
Even just letting her experience 50% improvements in who you are in most areas, will cause her to feel drawn to you and see that you really have changed.
Another possibility in your case is that…
3. She will come back because she doesn’t want to end up being a single mother
In some cases, a woman might come to the realization that even though her ex was not her perfect man, it’s still better to raise a child with a father figure than trying to do it all by herself.
She may come to think, “Well, he really is a good guy and I could do a lot worse. So what if our relationship is not exciting anymore like it used to be? Most relationships start off great and then settle into a comfortable routine, right? There’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t mean we don’t love each other anymore. Besides, I know he will be a good father and that’s what counts. Also, he will support me and help me raise this baby, unlike other guys who would just run at the first sign of responsibility. I’m lucky to have him. I should get back with him.”
She then goes back to him and settles into a mundane relationship.
She tries to put on a good act of being happy, but if the attraction and love isn’t there, it won’t last.
For example: If another guy comes along and fills in the gaps that are missing in her relationship with her man (e.g. he makes her feel more sexually attracted, he’s more exciting, he’s more confident), she will almost certainly leave the relationship.
Of course, that doesn’t have to happen to you.
If your ex comes back on her own and you want to keep her back, you need to focus on creating a relationship dynamic that causes her to feel real love, respect and attraction for you.
Get her to feel the type of love, respect and attraction that makes her realize that no other guy is necessary.
You, her and your child (or children) are all that matters.
Another possibility in your case is that…
4. She won’t come back because she doesn’t feel like she needs be with you to raise the baby
Sometimes a woman feels like she’s better off without her ex no matter what.
So, even though she risks being a single mom and all of the stress and pressure that comes with that, she sees it as a better option than going back to her ex.
For example: A woman might feel like that when…
- She is the more emotionally dominant one and makes all of (or most of) the important decisions in the relationship. As a result, she thinks something along the lines of, “Well, what do I need him for then? I will just end up with two babies to take care of (him and the baby), rather than the one that I’m having. I don’t want to take care of him anymore like a big sister or mother would. I have enough responsibilities now without worrying about a grown man who can’t make a decision on his own without my input.”
- She is the more financially stable one, so she will more than likely end up having to support him too.
- He has taken her for granted in the past. As a result, she worries that she would be looking after a newborn baby and potentially running around after him too (e.g. cooking all the meals, cleaning and washing, running errands for him, having to show him lots of love to keep him happy, not getting enough love in return).
- She’s emotionally stronger than him and knows that she will be able to cope by herself, while he might become insecure about her love for the child and react be being clingy, needy, irritable and so on.
So, here’s the thing…
In today’s world, a woman no longer feels like she has to be in a relationship with a guy if he can’t give her what she wants.
It’s not like in the past where a woman was completely reliant on a man to support her and protect her.
Sometimes things change (e.g. she loses her job, there’s a natural disaster, pandemic), but for the most part, a woman is usually able to take care of herself and be protected by the police and the settings of a modern, civilized society.
So, if a woman gets a sense that her man is not really offering her anything of value (e.g. examples of value are that he is emotionally stronger than her so she feels safe to be with him, he is loving and supportive, but still puts her in her place when she steps out of line, he has goals for the future and is actively working towards them like a real man), the she will usually just stick to her decision to remain broken up.
If you want your pregnant ex to come back to you, you need to make sure you’re the kind of man she would happily give another chance to (e.g. confident, emotionally strong, manly, ambitious).
Don’t go to her and try to sell yourself as being new and improved and then ask for another chance based on that though.
If you do that, she will likely reject you, put her guard up or play hard to get because you’re giving her so much power over you.
Instead, interact with her and let her pick up on the fact that you really have changed, so she can naturally feel attracted and drawn to you and want you back for her own reasons.
Another possibility for you is that…
5. She doesn’t want to come back because of how badly you reacted to her change in behavior, mood and attitude during the pregnancy
Sometimes, a guy might not handle the changes in his woman very well during her pregnancy (e.g. she gets tired more quickly than she use to, she is short tempered or bursts into tears for no apparent reason, she doesn’t feel like having sex anymore) and as a result, arguments will break out, resentment will build and a couple can be pushed to the brink or even break up because of it.
For example: A guy might…
- Become very angry at her (e.g. if she doesn’t want to have sex anymore, doesn’t enjoy going out as often, doesn’t have the energy to cook and clean like she used to).
- Become needy (e.g. because he’s worried he will lose her love and affection to the baby, because she isn’t treating him the way she used to and seems more focused on herself now).
- Begin to treat her very badly in response to her mood swings (e.g. he shouts at her about crying for no reason and says things like, “Stop crying about trivial things. You’re really annoying these days! I have a lot on my plate right now and don’t need all this emotional bullshit. So stop it!”).
In instances like that, a woman will usually be reluctant to go back to her ex and may be thinking things like, “If that’s how he behaved when I was pregnant, how will he behave with a crying baby in the house? He will probably end up treating me even worse than before. Not only don’t I want to experience that side of him again, I never want to put my child in that kind of environment. I’ve made my decision to break up with him and I think it’s best if I stick to it and move on. He’s not man enough to handle a pregnancy or the raising of a child. He’s too emotionally sensitive and gets way too angry at me too easily.”
So, what should you do if you reacted badly to your ex’s pregnancy changes?
Is it still possible to get her back?
Yes.
You made a mistake, but everyone makes silly mistakes at some point in their life.
That doesn’t make you a bad person.
When your ex can see for herself that you’ve learned your lesson and that regardless of how moody, temperamental or emotional she’s behaving (when you next interact with her on a phone call or in person. Not via text – she can’t tell via text), you remain cool, calm and collected and use humor and an easy-going attitude to turn the situation around, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling some respect for you again.
You can then build on those feelings and get her back.
4 Mistakes That Some Guys Make When Waiting For a Pregnant Ex to Come Back
When a guy behaves unattractively after a break up, it helps to further convince a woman that she made the right decision to break up with him.
This is why, from now on, it’s essential you don’t make any of the following mistakes that other guys make in a situation like yours:
1. Taking all the blame for her change in behavior, mood and attitude during her pregnancy
Sometimes a guy wants his ex back so badly that he’s willing to take all the blame and let her walk all over him.
A guy will often do this when the break up was her fault, or mostly her fault.
He might say something like, “It wasn’t your fault you felt the way you did, it was mine. I promise that if you come back, I won’t step out of line again no matter what. I will do whatever you want. I was in the wrong, not you.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
Taking the blame when you did nothing wrong (or when it was mostly her fault) is the worst thing you can do.
Not only will your ex perceive you as being emotionally weak, she will also lose respect for you for not being able to stand up to her when you know she was the one who was out of line.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you should be nasty towards your ex, totally blame her or treat her badly in any way.
Instead, just continue being the good man that you are and let her see that, even though you understand why she was behaving that way (i.e. the pregnancy hormones), you’re not going to take all the blame for the break up just to get her back.
You don’t need to tell her that you’re not taking all the blame.
Just don’t take all the blame and don’t blame her.
Focus on re-attracting her, making her feel love for you again and guide her back into a relationship so you can be a family together.
Important: Don’t use that reason “be a family together” as the reason why you want to get back though.
Some guys try to manipulate their woman into getting back with them by guilt tripping her about the baby not having a family.
That approach will not work in the long run and almost never works in the short term.
A woman will get back with a man if she feels a renewed sense of respect, attraction and love for him.
Then, and only then, will she start having fond, happy feelings about being a family together.
So, don’t lead with, “Let’s do this for the baby. It’s going to need a father and us to be a family.”
That approach doesn’t work.
To get a woman back, it’s about how she feels about you.
Do you make her feel like she should respect you?
Do you make her feel attracted when she talks to you?
Do you make her feel rushes of love as she talks to you?
That is what counts.
The next mistake that some guys make in a situation like yours is…
2. Confessing his undying love for her and hoping that it makes her realize how important he is to her
In a woman’s mind, she usually has a very good reason why she broke up with her ex (i.e. she disconnected from her feelings of love, respect and attraction for him over time and he wasn’t able to get her to reconnect with those feelings because he kept using the same old approach with her, or ended up using an unattractive approach, such as becoming insecure, jealous, controlling or neglectful towards her).
So, if the guy then comes along and says things like, “I just want you to know that I still love you and I truly believe we can make things work. Please give us another chance. I don’t want to lose you,” rather than think, “Oh, well that changes everything! Now that I know I matter so much to him, I have to go back. After all, where will I find another guy who will love me like he does?” she instead feels annoyed with him for believing that his feelings for her are what matters the most.
Here’s the thing…
A woman usually only appreciates it that a guy loves her and is devoted to her when she feels the same way for him.
In other words, she feels respect, attraction and love for a guy and sees that he feels the same way = She appreciates it.
However, if a guy feels respect, attraction and love for her and she doesn’t feel the same way towards him = She doesn’t really care.
It’s about her feelings.
The same would apply to you if a woman really loved you, felt attracted to you and respected you, but you didn’t feel the same way.
While it’s a little bit nice that she is that into you, it doesn’t mean that you are going to settle down with her because of it.
The feelings have to be mutual.
So, if you want your pregnant ex to come back, focus on reactivating her feelings for you, rather than telling her about your feelings for her.
Only when she is feeling an outpouring of respect, attraction and love for you again (which you can make her feel within minutes to hours of interacting with her), will getting back together seem like the right thing for her to do.
The next mistake that some guys make in a situation like yours is…
3. Assuming that because she is carrying his child, it means they have to be together or she has to love him
As difficult as it may be to accept, the truth is that you cannot convince a woman to come back to you just because she’s pregnant with your child.
Even if you and her talked about being a family together and even if you truly believe that you will be a great father, it just doesn’t matter to a woman when she loses touch with her feelings for you.
The truth is, if a woman no longer feels the same way, she doesn’t have to stay with a guy if she doesn’t want to.
In the past, a woman was obligated to stay in a relationship with a guy for the sake of her baby.
She had to stick by him whether she was happy or not, because there was such a huge stigma attached to being a single mother.
Unfortunately, in today’s world, raising a child without a father is no big deal anymore.
Women all over the world are doing it and are often celebrated as “heroes” or “amazing women” by the media.
So, if a woman no longer has feelings for her ex, chances are high that she’s not going to go back to him just because she’s having his baby.
She will rarely, if ever, feel enough guilt about being a single mother to go back to him for that reason.
The way to get her back is via her feelings for you.
That is what works, regardless of what country is from or culture the woman is a part of.
It’s about her feelings for you.
Focus on that and you will get her back.
The next mistake that some guys make in a situation like yours is…
4. Not giving her the kind of attraction experience she really needs from him to want to give him another chance
If a guy interacts with his ex and makes the same old attraction mistakes that he made before, it goes without saying that she won’t feel very motivated to get back together with him.
She will just feel the same towards him and she won’t like it.
You need to inspire her and wake her up with a new attraction experience.
For example:
Rather than always being nice and sweet and a pushover around her, start being more of a playful challenge so she can laugh and feel like you have a lot more balls these days, but are still a good man.
Rather than pretending you want to only be friends with her now, flirt with her and create some sexual tension between you, so she naturally feels drawn to you in a sexual way.
Rather than feeling insecure and unsure of yourself when she’s being cold and distant towards you, maintain your confidence with her so she can feel attracted to your confidence, emotional strength and masculinity.
Rather than getting caught up in feelings of tension and awkwardness by always being serious when talking to her, use humor to bring down her defenses and make her feel good to be around you again.
When she experiences those kinds of changes in you, she naturally drops her guard and opens up to being with you again.
This is your chance to get her back before the baby arrives.
When the baby arrives, it will be a lot of hard work, she won’t be getting much sleep and she won’t have much spare time.
Now is the time to act.
Get her back.
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