The reason why an ugly guy can have a hot girlfriend is that women can feel attracted to men for reasons other than looks.
Some women will only ever accept a perfect looking male model with loads of money and huge penis, but the majority of women have what I call an Open Type, which means that she is open to being with all different types of guys, as long as the guy can make her feel enough attraction in other ways.
Some of the many ways that you can attract women are with your confidence, charisma, charm, humor and masculine vibe.
Watch this video to understand how it works…
The more ways that you can make a woman feel attracted to you while you talk to her, the more she will be willing to overlook the fact that you’re not a perfect male model with loads of money and are just a normal guy.
That’s the truth, even if some people don’t want to believe it.
It really is true that normal, every day and even what some call “ugly” guys can make women feel attracted to them as they talk and interact.
A Really Weird Thing About Attraction
Attraction (noun): A quality or feature of someone that evokes interest, liking or desire.
If a man is able to make a woman feel attracted to him in other ways (e.g. humor, charisma, charm, confidence, etc), she actually starts to look at his physical appearance in a positive light.
Even though he might have features that some people would consider ugly (e.g. big nose, bald, overweight, etc), she will look at those things in a positive light because she is feeling attracted in other ways.
She might have been going around saying, “I want a tall, handsome guy with muscles, loads of money and a baby arm for a penis…oh, and a sports car and a luxury yacht.”
Yet, if she meets a guy who doesn’t have those things and he makes her feel a lot of attraction in other ways, she will forget about her ultimate fantasy guy and fall in love with the guy who is making her feel a lot of attraction.
Not all women will do that, but most will.
Most women have an Open Type and are willing to be with all different types of guys (e.g. looks, race, height, weight, etc), as long as the guy makes her feel enough attraction for other reasons.
When a guy who would normally be considered below-average looking or even ugly meets a woman with an Open Type, the attraction that he is making her feel will cause her to begin looking at his less attractive traits in a more positive light.
She will say things like, “I like that he’s bald…I think it’s cute” or “I like that he’s overweight…I like cuddly guys” or “I like his big nose…it’s handsome.”
Weird, I know, but that is what happens.
Most Women Place Less Importance on Looks Than Most Guys Realize
Some women will only accept a good looking guy. That is true. However, most women place way less importance on looks than most guys realize.
Have you ever been walking through a shopping mall and seen an ugly, short or overweight guy with a beautiful woman and thought, “What is she doing with him?”
Of course you have. It’s completely normal.
Yet, no matter how many times you see it, you still might be left thinking, “What the? Why is she with him?”
The reason why you think that women is that you always see beautiful women with handsome men in advertising images from the media, so it almost looks WRONG when a hot chick is with an ugly guy in public.
It looks like she is making a mistake by being with him. Either that, or he must be rich, have a huge dick or be famous, right?
Wrong.
It’s actually a lot easier to attract women than you might realize.
You can literally attract women in more than 100 different ways (I teach those ways throughout my programs at The Modern Man. Some examples are confidence, charisma, charm and humor).
Women Are More Flexible About What They Think is Attractive
We men are very strict in what we find attractive.
We can look at a woman and within seconds, we can decide “Yes” or “No” about whether or not we’d bang her. This is because our attraction for women is mostly based on physical appearance, which is why men masturbate over women in porn.
For us men, it’s about how the woman looks. Her appearance is enough for us to be willing to have sex wit her…at least once anyway.
Yet, for most women (not all), a man’s appearance is not the deciding factor for sex.
What is?
How his personality and behavior makes her feel when she interacts with him. For example: Does his vibe and conversation style turn her on, or does it make her feel awkward and bored?
When a man makes a woman feel attracted in ways other than looks, she will label him as attractive and even sexy…even if you think he is ugly.
An Ugly Guy Can’t Pick Up Every Woman
Let’s be clear here…
I’m definitely not saying that an average looking, below average looking or “ugly” guy can pick up every woman in the world.
What I am saying is this:
1. What you might consider to be an “ugly” man, a beautiful woman may see as attractive because he makes her feel attracted in other ways.
2. For every picky woman who will only ever accept a very handsome man, there is always a beautiful woman who simply wants a good-natured man who makes her feel attracted and in love.
3. If a guy is ugly or below average looking, he needs to understand that he won’t be able to attract every woman, but he will be able to attract many.
By the way…
It’s not only the “ugly” guys who can’t pick up every woman in the world. No guy can.
Why?
No man is compatible with every woman that he meets and no woman is compatible with every guy that she meets. That’s how nature works.
Whether you are a good looking guy, average looking, below average looking or even ugly, what you need to understand is that you really can make women feel attracted to you for ways OTHER than looks.
You can turn a woman on with your masculine vibe, make her melt with your charismatic charm and make her feel so good by using the type of humor that women love. If you don’t know how to do those things, I am here to teach you.
You Don’t Have to Look Beautiful…That’s a Woman’s Job
If you watch too many TV advertisements or look at enough magazine ads, you may start to believe that women want us men to look as “pretty” as they do.
Heck, I fell for that crap too, especially after seeing so women on TV talking about handsome guys and saying, “Oooooh, he’s so handsome” and “Ooh, look at those abs…ooh, I want to touch them.”
Based on that, you can’t blame me for thinking that it was all about looks.
You can’t blame other guys too. We’re brainwashed with that crap when we watch TV or even overhear women talking about men. They always talk about superficial stuff (e.g. looks, money, fame, etc), but you really can attract women without having ANY of those things.
You really can.
You can attract women without changing ANYTHING about your physical appearance or financial situation.
There is nothing wrong with improving your physical appearance or improving your career to earn more money, but the fact is that you can still get laid or get a hot girlfriend BEFORE you do any of those things.
I know that you might want to believe that it’s all about money, looks, having a big dick and so on, but it’s not.
Some women do only want a guy who has it all, but most women are way easier to pick up than they make themselves out to be.
That’s the truth.
Before I discovered what I now teach here at The Modern Man, I was going through life assuming that beautiful women couldn’t like me because I wasn’t good looking enough.
I was convinced of it.
When I interacted with beautiful women, NOTHING that I was saying and doing was making them feel any attraction because all I was doing was talking to them in a nice, friendly way and expecting to be LIKED for it.
I didn’t even know how to attract women and thought that if I wore good enough clothes, styled my hair right and show them how good of a guy I was, they would like me and give me a chance.
Yet, I was wrong.
No one had ever told me that we men need to ACTIVELY make women feel attracted to us based on what we are saying and doing during an interaction. I thought that women felt attracted to men for the same reasons that we feel attracted to women.
I thought it was about looks.
I didn’t realize that it was possible to make beautiful women feel attracted to me for reasons OTHER than looks, so if they rejected me, I simply assumed, “Oh, well…I’m not good looking enough for them.”
That’s all I knew because I was another brainwashed modern man who believed the junk I saw in TV and magazine advertisements.
Even though I saw below-average looking guys with beautiful women, I didn’t see that as real. I saw that as the woman making a mistake or being stupid enough to fall for a guy like that. I didn’t know that she could actually feel attracted to him for OTHER reasons.
I spent a lot of time trying to make myself LOOK better to women (e.g. buying clothes, going to tanning salons, getting the latest haircuts, etc), but it didn’t work. Beautiful women still weren’t the slightest bit interested in me.
While watching TV, I would always see female hosts on shows like Entertainment Tonight and E!News talking about how handsome a guy looked because of his clothes, shoes and haircut, so I assumed that I didn’t have the right clothes and that my looks still needed to be improved.
I was just another brainwashed modern man who thought he was right, but had no idea how wrong he was.
“Pick Me! Pick Me!”
In the peacock bird species, the female is a bland looking bird and the male is the pretty, colorful one. He gets selected based on how colorful and pretty he is.
In case you haven’t noticed, that is not how the human mating dance works.
You don’t have to be pretty like a woman and then hope to be selected be her. You are a human man and in our species, most women (not all) choose a man based on how his personality and behavior makes her feel.
Of course, some women select a man based on looks, money and fame, but the majority of women in this world (including a lot of beautiful, pretty, sexy women) will happily hook up with, get into a relationship with and even marry a man who doesn’t have ANY of those things.
Good Looking Guys Who Are Failing With Women
When a guy doesn’t consider himself to be good looking, he will often use that as the reason why he is failing with women.
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that many good looking guys also struggle to attract women.
Here are just a few of the hundreds of messages that I’ve received over the years from “good looking guys” who can’t get a girlfriend…
“I am 34, unmarried and lonely. All my life I have been called handsome and cute and whatever although to this date I’ve had sex two times. The first was with a drunk girl I lucked onto at a party and the other was a prostitute. I try talking to women and they seem interested at first but the conversation never goes anywhere.”
“Its impossible to approach women! I walk around the mall for hours on end trying to do it day after day but never doing it. I know everything about attracting women and what to say and do but I still can’t do it. I’m so sick of this. I’m a great looking guy – better looking than 99% of dudes I see, I have a great lifestyle, I’m a fantastic friend and I have good intentions, anybody would be lucky to date me. No matter how p**sed off I get with my situations its never enough to motivate to take the plunge and just say something. It depresses the hell out of me sitting in night after night thinking ‘ok tomorrow I’ll do it’ I’ve come to realisation now I’m just kidding myself I’m never going to do it. I hate seeing an attractive women with some dweeby boyfriend holding hands. What am I doing wrong?? How can I change? Why aren’t my looks helping???”
“I regularly get told that I am good looking and people ask me why I don’t have a girlfriend all the time, but I am yet to have one single girlfriend in my entire life and I am 27. Please Dan I am asking you to help me. I haven’t bought any of your products yet, but I promise I will if you help me.”
“i have very big problem and i hope you can surely help me out.most people including men and women tell me how good looking i am;muscular and very tall but my problem is,i find it very difficult to approach girls even the ugliest.AND also find it difficult too talking to guys.i cant look straight to someones face when talking to.AND this has made feel me so shy when i try to approach women and the woman can just see directly from me so i really need your help.”
“I am a very good looking guy, I work out and have a great body, I own my own business but I am am shy when I really like a girl. Where am I going wrong Dan? How can I be the man that women want?”
If women select men based on looks, why aren’t all those guys getting laid or getting a girlfriend?
Why are they getting rejected even though women are telling them how handsome they are? The reason is that being “good looking” is NOT the answer to success with women. If it was the answer, you would never see average, below average or ugly looking guys with beautiful women.
To be successful with women, you have to know how to attract women with your personality. The most important types of attraction that women feel happen when you interact with them.
For example: Are you able to make her laugh and feel aroused when talking to you, or are you just talking to her in a friendly, polite way like every other guy?
That is what counts.
If she doesn’t feel attracted to how your personality and behavior makes her feel, she is going to say, “Oh well, I’ll sleep with him anyway because he looks good.”
Sure, some women will do that (usually the unattractive ones), but most women look for deeper, more subtle qualities in men. If women were mostly turned on by a man’s looks, then women would have been buying porn magazines all these year like men have.
For most women, it’s about how your personality and behavior makes her feel.
You have to believe that, or else you will go through life feeling that you’re not good enough.
You are good enough.
You really can attract, pick up, have sex with and even MARRY a beautiful woman without being a good looking guy with a perfect gym body.
It really is true.
Most women have what I call an Open Type, which means that they are opening to being with all different types of guys as long as the guy can make her feel attracted in other ways (e.g. confidence, charisma, charm, etc). It really is true.
If you think that you’re not good enough for women and make the mistake of accepting an unattractive woman because that’s all you think you deserve, then you will be making a HUGE mistake that you will regret for the rest of your life.
You CAN attract beautiful women and it is a LOT easier than may think…
Want to Know the SECRET to Success With Women?
Watch this hidden video where Dan exposes his BIGGEST secret to success with women, which allows you to easily get laid or get a girlfriend.
This video is only available here and you can watch it for free right now.
Based from my experience, women have more tolerance to these “good-looking guys.” What I mean is that they may not display the masculine traits that most men who area attractive to the opposite sex to, but women will put up with them to a certain extent. Which can be quite annoying to us average folk who are still below the mastery level. Sometime it feels like we’re working harder than them, having to figure all of this out, having to put more effort than them, Having to remember interactions and trying to figure out where it went wrong, adjustments, calibrations…..At just the approaching part most of them have the advantage already. Being good-looking,some of them are already inherently confident, and I feel like they receive less resistance from women.
But those are just my sentiments. I still do believe you when you say that personality wins out in the end. I just feel like they have it easier that’s all.
Hi Walter
Thanks for your comment.
Yes, you are right and thanks for acknowledging that my point is right in the end too. Good-looking do guys get a “chance” at the start and some women will put up with his lack of confidence a little longer than a guy who isn’t good-looking. However, that said, there’s no doubt how OFTEN you will see guys who are average, below-average, shabby and even “ugly” looking with beautiful women.
As you can see from the comments I quoted in the article above, good-looking guys do not get a “free pass all the way” with women. In most cases, they get rejected after the first phone call or date because of their nervousness, lack of social skills, inability to make the woman feel various types of attraction, etc.
As Ben says in Dating Power, good-looking guys get more of an opportunity at the start with many girls, but the great thing about being a man is that women prefer CONFIDENCE and PERSONALITY over looks, so if you have lots of confidence and personality, you will be better than the good looking guys who don’t.
Cheers
Dan
Hi Walter/Dan,
If I may comment to Walter’s opinion, I get where you’re coming from mate. I believe myself to be a handsome guy after being told it my whole life by my family and CONSTANTLY being stared at by girls, especially attractive ones I would have never dreamt I could date due to their high social status in my small town. I do get higher self-esteem everytime I notice a girl giving me the look…. But self-esteem and confidence are not the same thing. For as many times as I’ve had attractive girls giving me “please approach me” stares, I can only remember one attempt I made to accept that offer. Didn’t get far as I had no idea what to say. Considering all these chances I’ve had and continue having, I’ve only ever had one girlfriend a long time ago (nowhere near attractive to my other opportunities). If I’m not mistaken, handsome guys with little to no experience in dating only get esteem boosts when being eyed at by girls, not confidence boosts. I think confidence should already be there before looks are even considered. In summary Walter, less obstacles for handsome guys maybe, but hardly any ‘pass grades’ without confidence. Hope I’ve given some useful information.
Hi Jared
Thanks for your contribution to this discussion. Much appreciated!
Yes, there is a huge difference in having high self-esteem about yourself and being confident in yourself and your abilities. I think a couple of dictionary definitions may help:
Self-esteem (noun): A favorable impression of oneself; self-respect.
Confidence (noun): Belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.
Many guys have a good impression of themselves (e.g. because of their work, study or sporting achievements), but lack belief in themselves and their abilities with women.
Cheers
Dan
Men do so even more dont you think?
A man wont even approach a woman if he is not physically attracted to her(means he can imagine having sex with her), no matter how nice her personality is etc.
Dan, I think this article is really on the money–and the logical side of me can do nothing but agree with it completely.
Howwver, I always find myself continuing to follow this line of thinking (IE see a beautiful woman out in the city, make eye contact with her, think about approaching her, then assume a beautiful woman like her already has a tall, handsome bf at home, or only desires tall, good looking men) and I’m just tired of using it as an excuse.
I know feeling this way will never help when it comes to creating attraction, but it’s hard to change your mindset when you’ve been thinking like this for so long. Still, I’m going to try to start adapting a more healthy mindset instead of focusing on looks so much.
Also, Dan, I’ve always been one of those guys who’s been confused about my looks. Sometimes I feel like I look fine, other times I feel average (majority), and there are times where I feel totally unattractive.
Could this type of outlook present an issue when it comes to developing the confidence and charisma that women are attracted to?
Hi Karl
Thanks for your positive feedback and question.
Yes, confidence is something that you need to build and take care of yourself. Your insecurities feed on the power that YOU give to them. However, more importantly, so does confidence. When you use our “Confidence Building System” in Dating Power, you will get used to thinking in the way that not only maintains your confidence, but BUILDS on it day by day. If you don’t know how to build and maintain your confidence, I recommend that you watch Dating Power and follow our tested, proven-to-work system.
If you don’t develop true confidence, women will pick up on it. Women test guys and poke them in their “weak spots” during interactions to see whether the guy is truly confident or not. If you find that you get nervous when talking to a woman you like, fear approaching women you find attractive or feel anxious on a date, women will be able to pick up on that. Women are naturally attracted to confidence in a man and naturally turned off by nervousness and anxiety.
Cheers
Dan
I’ll throw my two cents in. I’m a male model and from my persepective being good looking has been a massive advantage in terms of atleast being confident about SOMETHING I don’t even know where I would be without it.
I’ve been sucked into superficial culture in the past and if I didn’t “look good” I would be like most other guys trying to get over those issuses about not being good looking enough and probably struggling. Having the appearance factor has allowed me to skip all that mess.
The only other advantage about having the appearance factor is it makes you feel more confident about the whole dating game and it makes it a little easier when you want to approach for example if you see a girl eyeing you off or being submissive around you its a little easier to feel more confident about the approach and her reaction when you walk up.
A lot of guys think if they looked like a Brad Pitt or a Tom Cruise they’d be getting laid like a rockstar but looking good really isn’t much of anything. I know shit loads of guys from my modelling gig who would be considered some of the best looking guys in the world but from conversations I’ve found out they have never had a girlfriend its so wrong but it proves everything that Dan says is right CONFIDENCE IS KING!
-Jack (Oh yeah booking that phone coaching next week Dan!)
Hey Jack
Beautiful! Thanks for sharing that!
Most guys assume that the “good looking guys” get laid so easily because they look like Edward from those Twilight vampire movies or like one of the guys from a billboard advertisement. However, despite your comments, my logical article and the EVIDENCE that guys have from seeing SO MANY “ugly,” below-average or average-looking guys with HOT women, they will still want to believe that beautiful women only go for “good looking guys.”
When it comes to attracting women and escalating all the way to sex and a relationship, confidence is king. Without it, you’re just another nervous guy who is doubting himself and turning the woman off as a result.
Cheers
Dan
Lol its funny I even remember at school I could see the attractive popular girls lusting after certain guys and thinking why are they interested in him and not me? I always put it down to looks even though I could see I was just as if not better looking than those guys I would always put it down to that. I remember thinking “oh well they must just find him more good looking than me” it was nothing to do with that lol you end up just being blinded by all that stuff from TV and movies. Theres so many decent looking guys who don’t even think their good enough believe me.
Well put Jack. I especially agree on your last bit there.
Hi modern man, i do appreciate your teachings and it added more skills to me. But i still have a question to ask you. So, here i go. I once date a girl and she accept me for almost eight months now, but this days her characters has change towards me, she alway keep suspecting me thinking that am dating another outside. And not only that, she always find it difficult to tell me were i do wrong to her, unless i come to understand it my self. So modern man what do u think i do?
Hey Melchizedek
Thanks for your question and positive feedback.
By the way you said this, “…she accept me for almost eight months now” it sounds like she is in control of the relationship. You are letting her boss you around and treat you badly because you are afraid of losing her. That is turning her off you more and more every time you do it.
Read: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/who-should-wear-the-pants-in-a-relationship.html
Cheers
Dan
that is what i would certainly like to know, especially that i am a good looking straight guy having a very hard time finding a good woman to accept me for who i am. it seems that most of the women want a man with a very large bank account these days, and most of the women that i will try to approach to talk too, do have a very bad attitude problem which makes it worse. any advice, i will appreciate it.
Hi Mike
Thanks for your comment.
About most women wanting a man with a large bank account: Did you stop to think about the facts first, before basing your life on that insecurity? The facts being that most men live pay check to pay check, yet they have a girlfriend/wife and you don’t.
It’s not about their bank account. In fact, if you were to go out and approach 1,000s of women like we did in the early days, you would KNOW for a FACT that the topic of money NEVER comes up. A woman will only find out how successful a guy is after they’ve been dating for a while.
What gets women interested in the initial part of the dating process is confidence, masculinity (emotional, behavior, actions), social intelligence/coolness, etc. From there, the guy does NOT have to be successful, but he should be striving for it or at least beginning his journey towards it. Women are JUST AS attracted to a guy who has the POTENTIAL to be successful, as they are to one who is successful.
If you want to get this area of your life sorted, don’t let your insecurities ruin your thinking, confidence and general well-being. Get educated by confident, emotionally secure men like us and learn how we (and 1,000s of our customers worldwide) are enjoying natural, easy and consistent success with women.
Cheers
Dan
P.S. Guys who aren’t good looking like you are come to this site saying, “Women just want good looking guys.” You’re good looking, so you’ve been using another excuse, “It’s all about money.” If you don’t know how to attract women and go through the simple steps of a natural, sexual courtship, I recommend that you read The Flow: http://store.themodernman.com/in/58e9e6c
glad to know that I am not the only one in this world with the same problem
Good looking but no girlfriend yet
Hi Daniyal
Thanks for adding your comment to the discussion.
Here’s the thing about success with women…
I’ve heard EVERY excuse from guys all over the world as to why they’re not successful with women. For example: It’s about looks, it’s about money, it’s about height, penis size, cars, etc. I’ve also heard: Women in America are too picky, women in France are too picky, women in Africa are too picky, women in England are too picky, women in Russia are too picky.
The excuses go on and on, in all sorts of forms, but the fact is: Unless you become a confident, masculine guy and get rid of your nervousness around women, your anxiety/shyness, it is ALWAYS going to be difficult to attract and maintain the interest of women. Women cannot feel attraction for nervousness and anxiety. Being good looking simply gets girls looking at you, but as you (Daniyal) and 1,000s of other guys who’ve contacted me have proven, looks do NOT get you the girl.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
I love reading your articles and find them quite inspirational. I would love to start approaching more women but I feel that although I am told I am attractive I don’t feel it. It doesn’t help that since turning 30ish I have noticed a few stray eyebrows getting super long, nose hairs going wild and some ear hairs budding. This has kind of knocked my confidence. I know most men as they get older start getting hair going a little crazy so I don’t know why it bothers me so much, but it does. I just guess I think what if a woman I like or am interacting with sees one of those little devils. Because atferall even with the most careful grooming regime sometimes you miss one. Any advice on this as it’s really gotten me down lately and feel it’s getting in the way of getting what I want with women. Thanks Dan.
Hey John
Thanks for your question.
Basically, you’re thinking like a woman. For instance, have you ever seen the male peacock bird? He has to make himself all pretty and perfect for the female. The female selects him on his appearance. Yet, you’re not a peacock bird John. You’re a human male.
In the human species, it is the woman who has to make herself all pretty and perfect looking for the man to select her. A woman selects a man based on his confidence, masculinity, social intelligence and a range of other PERSONALITY traits. This is why you see UGLY confident guys with beautiful women. While having good looks as a human male may get you “looked at” by women, it’s not what women are ultimately looking for in a man. If you think that you have be like a woman or a peacock bird, you won’t be having success with women anytime soon. Learn how to be a man. Embrace your masculinity. Sure, clean up wild hairs on your face (I get them too now at age 35), but do NOT think that doing so is the secret to success with women. I picked up my hot, 20 year old girlfriend (who happens to work as a hairdresser, so she would notice such things) and my eyebrows had a few long wild hairs pointing upwards. I also had a couple of hairs on my ear. She didn’t say a WORD about it.
Cheers
Dan
Thanks Dan, I think you’re right it’s all about how you present yourself and it’s true that women want a confident man. I am starting to understand this more and more. Thanks so much for all your inspirational advice and articles. I am saving up for your more advanced programs but in the meantime your free articles are really helpful.
Hey John
You’re welcome mate and thanks for the positive feedback.
All the best in the meantime.
Cheers
Dan
When first talking to a woman should it be more of a friendly, social approach or directly intended to hit on her and ask her out?
Hi Wilfred
Thanks for your question.
Watch this video for the answer: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/turn-your-female-friend-or-co-worker-into-your-girlfriend.html
Cheers
Dan
Dan,
Maybe you could do an article on this I know I’d be very interested in learning more. Anyway my questions is;
How do women rationalize what they say to what they do?
I have female friends and obviously at times the conversation comes up of what guys they like and what guys they are into. I have one friend in particular who says she likes “good looking men” or “pretty guys” but every guy she has ever dated, slept or been interested in has been average or below average looking, surprise surprise!
This leads me back to my original question how does my friend or any other women for that matter who state their preferences on men rationalize or think about when they end up continually contradicting themselves?
I understand that women are not as logical as us men. When we state our preferences on women it is based on reality/past experiences. If I state I like tall Spanish women it is because that is what I find the most attractive. If I state I like a women with an off the wall type of personality that is because I have been in past relationships with women like that and really enjoyed that part of a women’s personality.
If you could answer these following questions that would be fantastic.
1) Why do women defend their decisions/preferences/tastes when they are clearly inaccurate?
Often quizzed my female friends about guys they have previously been interested in and ask why they were interested in them they will often state “because he is good looking” I understand that women will use that term loosely about a guy they find attractive or sexy but if you quiz further and ask what physical traits make the guy “good looking” they basically are clutching at straws or give a half baked answer. This leads me to believe that women are in fact not rationalizing what they are doing.
2) If women can see that they do contradict themselves why do they persist with stating inaccurate preferences? If a women can see every guy she been with has not been “good looking” or any other of the things she has mentioned why do they keep repeating them? This also leads me to believe that women aren’t rationalizing what they are saying to what they are doing.
3) Can you ever trust a woman’s “preferences” in men or is it all BS? If she meets an alpha male/real man is it basically game over and all the other preferences regarding social scene, physique, fashion, lifestyle become irrelevant or does some of it come into play if so how can you tell which is BS and which is based on truth?
4) Where do women get these concepts/preferences/ideas from? Is it the media telling women that is what they should want in a man or is it actually what they think they want?
I know this is not detrimental to my success with women but I would really like to learn a little more about women’s psychology in this area if you could do an article on this or cover any of the things I mentioned I would be so appreciative.
Trey
Hey Trey
Thanks for your comment.
I can answer all of your questions with a quote from Ben (from The Modern Man), “Don’t focus on what women say. Focus on what they do.”
Women will say ALL sorts of things that aren’t accurate because, fundamentally, they aren’t the leader of our species. They aren’t the masculine. They don’t dictate how things play out. Men lead, women follow. However, in the modern world, women have a voice and have been saying all sorts of things over the last 30 years, which have confused the heck out men. For instance, in the 80s they said men should cry, but women hate it when men cry. In the 00s they said they don’t like men with a hairy chest, but then they said they hate it when men shave their chest because it’s gay.
The point is: Don’t listen to women. YOU are the man. YOU are the leader. Watch this video for more info: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/turn-your-female-friend-or-co-worker-into-your-girlfriend.html
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan
First of all I would like to say that I love this site, it is amazing and I really like your advice. Outstanding!
Now about me, I am having some trouble, I think I am a good looking guy (not the best looking though) and that bugs me.
I think to myself what if a better looking guy came along he could steal any woman I am talking to. I mean he is better looking after all I know that contradicts what you are saying but these are the thoughts in my head that whatever I do there will always be a better looking guy that will get/steal from me the girl/woman I am talking to with more ease.
And also I think what if I am not the best looking guy in the group and I like some girl how can I win her while the better looking guy is around?
Please help me out I am really having a hard time with this.
Thanks
Maro
Hey Maro
Thanks for your question.
This one actually made me laugh because I remembered when I used to think like that. Man, what a crappy way to be living your life. You’re looking at life through a lens that have been provided to you by ADVERTISING. Did you know? When Calvin Klein first put up their iconic advertising image of a man in his underwear in Times Square, New York that it was SHOCKING? Not only was it shocking to many people because they hadn’t seen men portrayed that way before, but it started a chain of events that led to guys like you being insecure about their looks. Women started saying, “Ooooh, look at the sexy guy in the Calvin Klein ad” and men starting thinking, “Oh no! I have to get six pack abs like that guy and be as good looking as he is to be considered sexy by women.”
All the while though, REAL MEN (the sort of man you will learn how to be when you watch Better Than a Bad Boy http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89) have simply LAUGHED at all the silly trends that have come and gone over the years. We real men don’t get sucked into the BS that is fed via advertising media. We are strong and we know that CONFIDENCE and MASCULINITY is what truly attracts women, regardless of the silly fad that is passing through our society via advertising.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
Personally it makes me think women are stupid. I like to think women are intelligent and can add to discussions and engage in meaningful conversations but then when I hear the drab that they speak that and then seeing their reaction/response if you dig a little deeper.
I mean I’m not trying to change women or make them think like a man you can’t do that they’re different and you’ll end up very frustrated if you do try and change women into something they aren’t I understand that.
I’ve asked a few people similiar questions to this and you don’t get much of an answer is undestanding the female brain a lost cause or are we still trying to understand.
Trey
Hey Trey
You’re on the verge of having a life-changing realization, but you’re not quite there yet. When you do have the realization, you will realize that, in fact, you have been wanting to change women and get them to be more like men and you will realize why that is a mistake.
Let women be who they are. Part of being a man is not seeking leadership and direction from women. Stop worrying about women not being your leaders.
Cheers
Dan
Guys, what dan says is COMPLETELY true.
I was at this pub a couple of hours ago, and whilst randomly looking out of one of the windows i saw across the street what most people would consider to be a “mismatched” couple.
There was this girl who was easily an 8, really nice and friendly looking etc, with a guy who many would of thought as “ugly”.
This isnt meant as an insult to him, but he was overweight and didnt have the best looks, however he was with a girl who most guys would stare at and dream of.
Dan is completely right in this and all of his other articles and videos. Maybe that guy was a nice person? who knows?
So what is the trick that these guys use? I dont understand how they get with these girls…….
Hey Ian
Thanks for your positive feedback and for contributing to the discussion. Much appreciated.
As for the “trick” that these guys are using to land a hot girlfriend and keep her, you’ll need to learn how to do that: http://store.themodernman.com/in/58e9e6c There are MANY techniques that guys who are naturally good with women use simultaneously. It’s not something I can teach in the comments here. The Flow is 200+ A4 pages for a reason – there’s a LOT that you need to learn. Once you learn it, you will literally LAUGH at how simple it is to attract and keep a hot girlfriend…or to sleep with many.
Cheers
Dan
I do appreciate a lot of insight as a female reader. When I see a guy, I do notice if he’s cute or not. But my immediate next thoughts are “does he have a great personality to go along with those looks?”
It’s true–looks don’t make a person. Very attractive people can still be single due to having poor personalities.
That applies to women too, which is one thing that bothered me about this article. Women in this article are pretty much only refered to as “hot” or “attractive” or whatever–as if a woman’s only datable value to a man is her appearance. That the best women to date are those who look good. That if a guy is attractive physical and personality-wise, then he should get a woman who is pretty, hot, sexy, or whatever–her personality is a minor point.
I know society will continue to push labels and see couples as hot guy/hot girl, ugly guy/hot girl, hot guy/ugly girl, or ugly guy/ugly girl…but I really believe that people who want serious relationships need to cast that aside and cherish the inside of their partners–that is what truly matters and that is what will make a relationship last.
Hey Magex
Thanks for your feminine contribution. Much appreciated.
I agree with your wish, but it just won’t happen. Human attraction happens instinctively and is a very complex emotional reaction. It’s not something that we can case aside. Women aren’t going to suddenly cast aside their desire for confident guys and accept nervous, shy, timid wimps. Why? It’s not SEXUALLY attractive. Likewise, we men aren’t going to suddenly want humungous fat women. Why? Same answer.
Cheers
Dan
Dan,
Can women see which guys are good looking and which guys are not? If they can why do women call guys who are not attractive good looking. I know women will use that term use loosely but sometimes they genuinely do believe he is good looking, its like what? Your either good looking or your not do your girlfriends think your good looking?
-Landon
Hey Landon
Thanks for your question.
Yes, it’s a weird one. I too was confused about that for many years. Women would refer to a certain guy as being “good looking” but he was just average or even less than average. Eventually, Ben (from The Modern Man) and I worked it out. Basically, the more confident a guy is and the more he behaves like a real man, the more women will say he is good looking, sexy, etc. It sounds far-fetched until you actually stop and pay attention to it for a while, which is what we did.
Even if a guy is considered UGLY by other guys, many women will say he is good looking. Why? They are just saying “good looking” because they HAVE TO talk on a superficial level. Why? They can’t say, “It doesn’t really matter what the guy looks like. All that matters is that I feel as though he is stronger than me (mentally and emotionally) and that it would feel right to submit to him sexually.” Women just can’t say that sort of thing. Why? I discuss the topic in detail in this program: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89
Cheers
Dan
Could this be looked at the opposite the way too?
I often see guys who are quite good looking with a girlfriend who isn’t that attractive. Obviously lacking the personality traits would you agree?
Hi Anon
Yes, that’s exactly what is happening. It’s usually that the guy doubts his attractiveness to women. You will always see guys who look “good looking” or who have been working out in gyms for years and their girlfriend just doesn’t look any good at all.
Cheers
Dan
Dan,
I’ve Always wondered this in your opinion and from all your experiences of meeting guys you’ve coached, women you’ve met, and people you’ve socialized with do you think most people have a grounded sense of their own physical attractiveness or is it inflated?
From my own personal life I have a close guy friend who honestly and genuinely believes he is good looking and not to be cruel but he’s one of the most boring looking men I’ve ever seen in my life. Nothing special about him he’s average at best. How do people get like that lol? Its honestly scary how delusional it is.
And in terms of being vain have you found any common links between people who care deeply about their appearance and others well who couldn’t give a toss? From what I have observed I’ve found generally the more attractive a person is the more vain they are.
Like I said I’m not insecure about the whole looks thing I know its about more deeper stuff but just wanted to pick your brain to see if you had any insights on our perception of ourselves.
Appreciate it.
Hi Frankie
Thanks for your question.
My answer is that it really doesn’t matter what people think. What they do is most important. For instance, a guy can think he is good looking, but then get nervous when talking to a girl or back out when it comes time to approach a girl. Whereas another guy might think he doesn’t look that good, but he has the confidence to approach a woman and the emotional and social intelligence to remain confident while talking to her; so he will actually get the girl.
Women are most attracted to a guy’s confidence and they’ll happily be lead from a conversation to sex and into a relationship with an average or even ugly looking guy IF he has the confidence to do so ALL THE WAY. Confidence overrides everything when it comes to success with women, so what people might think about their appearance really doesn’t matter because confidence is not based on one’s perception of one’s physical attractiveness. It’s much more complex than that. Thankfully, we have made the process of building and maintaining TRUE, unstoppable confidence very easy. If you want to learn how to be truly confident and stop worrying about superficial things like appearance, I recommend that you watch this program and use our exclusive confidence building system that comes with it: http://store.themodernman.com/in/ff7fdd
Cheers
Dan
Dan,
Read the article nodding in agreement the whole way through and can see it isn’t about appearance (although being handsome doesn’t hurt) but I can’t over the fact I hate my body mate. I weigh 8 stone 7 pounds I’m ridiculously under weight my hip bones stick out badly and you can see my rib cage I never wear shorts or short sleeved tops even in the heat of summer unless I’m alone at home. I know women will accept my body as it is but I hate it mate.
I genuinely feel I’m going to have to at least put some weight on just to get rid of these insecurities its the only way I can have sex confidently I’m not talking Arnie Schwarzenegger stuff but just a couple of pounds to fill me out. I have no problem approaching woman its just the sex.
Hey Harry
Well put on some weight my friend. It’s not difficult to do! If that’s your issue, then eat.
About not being good at sex: It’s all in your attitude and your ability to be the man. I recommend that you watch this program to learn how I approach my women sexually: http://store.themodernman.com/in/18c787c
Cheers
Dan
Following on from what Frankie said – is it true that men who are good looking often know that they are and this makes them feel confident which then in turns makes women attracted to him?
From my experience, a lot of men I’ve met who are good looking are often quite arrogant, overly-cocky confident types of people and it’s clear because of their looks that they act like this, however I’ve also met good looking guys who, for whatever reason, lack confidence and don’t get much (if any!) action at all!
So basically what I’m asking is – a women will see a “pretty boy” and be superficially attracted and if, for example, that guy knows he is physically attractive that makes him portray confidence, a women will be just as attracted whatever he looked like because of the confidence and would forget about his looks? Correct?
Hey Anon
Lol…yes. Just be confident. Be honest with yourself: You see average and ugly guys with women all the time. If you don’t focus on that and instead focus on the “good looking guys” that you’ve seen with beautiful women, then you’ll continue to be insecure. You have to get the point where other men become irrelevant and are not your competition. I teach the mindsets for that in this program: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89
The guys who believe me and follow my advice post up their success stories here: http://www.themodernman.com/success/modern-man-success-stories.html
The guys who believe what they see in TV commercials and magazine advertisements, masturbate to porn every week and become more and more insecure as the years go on.
Cheers
Dan
Dan,
Looks and the whole good looking thing for men has to be the biggest myth about dating in the world! Unfortunately I don’t think it will ever die but glad you guys are chipping away at it for guys sake.
Previous women I’ve been with have called me a “beautiful man” and not to sound to up myself but wherever I go I hardly if ever see a guy who is as or better looking than me and while knowing this is a great confidence booster it doesn’t deliver you true unstoppable confidence or success with women.
A lot of my guy friends say to me well its easier for me because women are going to be more interested in me than them, YES but only initially. I’ve tried to explain to my guy friends that if I walked over and talked to a woman and we weren’t fully compatible then my friend walked over to the same girl and they were he’d be the one getting her number and dating her I wouldn’t the girls might think I’m but they can’t see it lol might turn them onto this website Dan because your explanations are far greater than I can ever do for them.
If your good looking you can drum up a lot of interest but if your attractive in other ways or compatible with these women your just something nice to look at, approach your good enough as you are!
-Noah
Hey Noah
Thanks for chiming in.
It’s always good to hear from the “good looking guys” who confess that their looks don’t give them much or any advantage with women. Yet, believe me – most guys won’t even believe it if they hear it 100 times. I’m committed to helping guys wake up to the truth of male/female attraction though, so I don’t mind repeating myself a million times until they understand it and allow themselves to let go of their unnecessary insecurities about looks.
BTW: To anyone reading this comment, you might find this article helpful: What Makes a Man Attractive?
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan
Thanks for getting back to me.
Yes, I do admit that it was an insecurity which kept creeping back into my head after a couple of girls referred to me as “ugly” in a nightclub. However, I’ve started watching Alpha Male Power again and am up to part two and must say I am already feeling a sense of self-confidence again and connecting with my alpha qualities!
Just one final piece of the puzzle:
In work today, I was chatting with a female colleague who’s been online dating recently and she was saying how it’s great because you get to “window shop” and narrow down your searches to the “hot guys” and then arrange to date them. So it’s just comments like these which are still making me a bit confused. Is this a case of women saying one thing and then doing another?
Cheers
P.S I’ll be sure to leave a success story soon as it has been a while since I left my last one! 🙂
Hey Anon
That’s what happens with online dating. Watch this video for the full explanation of why: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/meeting-women-online.html In the real world, women aren’t as picky, which is why you ALWAYS see women with average looking, below average looking and even “ugly” men.
We only recommend online dating as something you should do while ALSO getting out there and meeting women in the real world, as explained in 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend: http://store.themodernman.com/in/e8ead2
Cheers
Dan
Man I get that feeling all the time I see a beaut with a dork And I’m like I’m the pretty boy ever girl says I should’ve had a tTon of girls hy now ive only been with 20 but yet the average gets like non stop … I need help badly I became so involved with my looks it’s become metrosexuallity .
Hey Darren
Thanks for your comment.
Instead of seeing a beautiful woman with a “dork,” try looking at this way. They are two human beings who want to feel loved, understood and wanted. They found each other and are going for it.
Meanwhile, you are so focussed on your appearance that you’ve forgotten that love is a two way thing. You want women to love you for your looks, but that isn’t going to happen. You have to love a woman for who she is and admire her beauty. You have to be a man for her, not a pretty boy. When you do that, you’ll find that most women just naturally want you.
Cheers
Dan
Dan,
Love an answer to this.
Is there a percentage of women that are embarassed being attracted to a guy who is not the classic tall, dark and handsome thing that we see on the TV and in movies?
I get the impression they do. I have 4 sisters and I can tell when they have a crush on a guy and the further away the guy is from resembling something off the TV the more hidden their attraction seems to be. One of my sisters is clearly interested in one guy whos nothing special overweight, reeceding hairline etc really if I’m honest shes miles out of his league lol in the looks department anyway she could do way better but anyway she always denies liking him when its clear she mad about him. This is one example of many.
Whereas my eldest sister is one of those rare girls who dates the classic looker guys and everytime she brings a guy round they all chime in and admit openly they find her boyfriends hot with no shame.
I’d appreciate an insight into this rather than stop worrying lol its just something I’ve picked up on being surrounded by women.
Hi Josh
Thanks for your question.
The answer is: Who cares? If a small percentage of women think that way, then why do you give a crap? Why are trying to base your confidence in yourself on different thought patterns that women may have? Women are not the leaders in the mating dance and you have to stop giving them that power. You are the one who chooses. Their swoons over “hot guys” or “tall guys” are simply an instinctive test of men’s confidence.
You need to read the following:
http://www.themodernman.com/dating/do-women-judge-men-on-looks.html
http://www.themodernman.com/dating/do-women-like-fat-men-the-truth.html
http://www.themodernman.com/dating/why-do-women-like-guys-with-muscles.html
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
does having long hair consider “good-looking” or “average”? just wondering. and im 5’5 so mainly im like the “average” type tho. but good thing, im confident when talking to girls and i have girls looking at me in a flirt way at first and then keep looking at me and then when i do talk to them, they like feel more attracted to me and say “hi” to me first after talking to them, and mostly when i do talk to girls i just feel more better and better and more confident while mostly all guys hate on me, but idk if im either “good-looking” or because i get more girls than them guys with confidence, and im still in school tho, a senior, and 18 years old, but other than that, is long hair “good-looking” or “ugly”? my long hair is up to my back like two inches below the back of my neck.
Hey Charles
Thanks for your question.
Long hair isn’t good looking or ugly on a man. It’s all a matter of personal taste. Some women will like it, some won’t. If you’re a confident, alpha male then it won’t matter – women will like you anyway.
Read:
http://www.themodernman.com/dating/do-women-like-fat-men-the-truth.html
http://www.themodernman.com/dating/do-women-judge-men-on-looks.html
Cheers
Dan
And btw,
What’s the difference between approaching girls in school and approaching girls in general, is it all the same or way too different species, and don’t give me wrong about this, im like one of the chick magnets NOW because im not a “nice-guy” anymore but a GOOD guy like what you said “being good is good” but sometimes i just don’t get the difference of what girls are in school other than what they are in general. would they like not care what anybody or any other guy thinks if they be saying to the hot girl “you’re dating an ‘ugly’ boy? girl you can do more better than that” or would the girl like listen and then dump the ‘ugly’ boy because of what her friends or people in school think? Could you explain this dan if you can, please?
Hi Charles
Thanks for your question.
Yes, of course – girls and women can be influenced by the opinion of their peers all throughout life. Yet, that’s not what you need to be worrying about. Why? In life, you should only focus your time, energy and emotions on things that you can directly influence or control. You can’t control the chaotic differences in people’s opinions about anything because some people base their views on insecurity, or are simply operating from an immature or naive perspective on life.
I’ve made a few big posts about the whole “looks” thing. Check them out here:
http://www.themodernman.com/dating/do-women-judge-men-on-looks.html
http://www.themodernman.com/dating/do-women-like-fat-men-the-truth.html
http://www.themodernman.com/dating/why-do-women-like-guys-with-muscles.html
http://www.themodernman.com/dating/why-do-women-like-tall-men.html
Cheers
Dan
Dan. Coming from a female view, you are right about everything. Not too long ago, I liked this good looking guy and but as soon as I seen he had no confidence within himself to step up, I knew he was nothing but looks. Now, I’m with an average guy that caught my attention due to his personality, and confidence he had. Like you had said earlier, “men lead, women follow,” so true. Every women might say many things that don’t go with what they say, simply the fact, that they won’t tell you. It would be a piece of cake for men, if women truly say what they want, because they would do exactly what she said, instead of coming out naturally.
Hey Marlene
Cool – thanks for adding your female perspective.
Cheers
Dan
When you are a good looking guy, you are playing the dating game on GOD mode.
I used to think that until I started picking up the hot women in the group when around good looking guys. Some of Stu’s friends, for example, are “good looking guys” but that didn’t mean they picked up any women when we went out. I got the women I wanted because I used techniques that I teach here at The Modern Man.
I speak in past tense, because I am now in a committed relationship with my perfect woman. Many of the “good looking guys” that I’ve met over the years are now either single or with average or even unattractive women. So, your comment isn’t accurate. However, I do understand and appreciate the level of awareness that you were at when you made the comment.
Cheers
Dan
Thanks Dan I personally I appreciate what you say it is true i am one of those so called good looking guys i have a high level of confidence in speaking to women i am not even nervous when i speak to any girl i am attract to or is attract to i have a good personality BUT i have 1 disadvantage my facial expression at times looks serious while i hate looking i get good grades but i dont a more serious facial expression it really “repels” women away from me i really want to be smiling showing i am friendly which i am inside but my facial expression especially when i walk seems so serious like some force has stamp a serious face on but have no trouble talking to attractive women what should i do
Hi Gwaksa
Thanks for your question.
If you’d rather be a more positive, happy, easy-going guy, then you have to develop that new habit of being. You have to change the way you think before you can change the way you feel.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
About that section part of the “An ugly guy can’t pick up every woman”, mind if you please explain that clearly by details of what you were talking about? because does that part mean that if a “ugly” guy tries to get with some beautiful woman (of course, by confidence and masculinity) but then gets rejected by her because she wants a “Tall ,Dark, and Handsome” guy instead of a “ugly” guy? not thinking insecure, but i’m a little confused just by that part on this article.
Hi Charles
Yes, some ugly guys will be rejected because the woman wants a better looking guy. If the ugly guy isn’t a smart guy, he will give up there and think he is doomed for life. However, if he has a brain, he will see that other guys who look worse than him have hot women in their life, so he will keep meeting new women until he gets what he wants.
Confidence wins in the end. The ugly guy won’t be able to pick up every woman, but if he remains confident and uses that to attract women on a more primal level, he will have a good selection of beautiful women to choose from in the end.
Cheers
Dan
I think an important thing to note here as well is no man alive can pick up every woman there will always be ones that aren’t interested for one reason or another. Hell there are even women out there that don’t find Brad Pitt attractive at all (I was quite surprised by the amount that thought this to, a lot more than i would’ve thought).
Hey Scott
Yes, you are correct.
That’s a good point you make about Brad Pitt too. Most guys assume that all women would find him attractive because he is referred to (on those Entertainment Tonight and E!News type shows) as being a hunk, a hottie and a handsome man by the female presenters.
Check out the results of the survey on this page (where guys are voting on which of the four women is the hottest). Very surprising results: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/do-women-judge-men-on-looks.html
Cheers
Dan
Every woman is different. I cannot/will not sleep with a guy that I find repulsive no matter how charming or rich he is. I like guys who hit the gym and have good physiques, however, I will not tolerate bad behaviour. Its okay for ugly and other men to go for hot women. I kind see why its wrong for women to be attracted to fit men. My ex had a huge beer gut and the sex was awful. Yes, I know I m going to be accused of being shallow, but I m fine with it. I hit the gym and look after myself, I don’t see why its wrong to expect the same. One cannot force attraction.
Hi “Elen”
It always makes me laugh when guys come to this site and pretend to be a girl when they post up a comment, so they can reinforce their insecure way of thinking.
I searched you up on Facebook (using the e-mail you provided).
Cheers
Dan
Hi,
I am bald and ugly and of Indian descent. I lack confidence, I currently live in SF. Being from a country that is not well received by girls here adds more to the problems. I have tried my best to be confident, be well mannered and look good. However still my luck with gals is zero. However my friend who is kinda of borderline by dick/mischievous has a easy time with girls. He is a model material/cute.
Also which is the best place to approach a girl? I think more people approach a girl in bars and pubs. How do you think I can overcome my looks?
I also have started working as a part time DJ. Will spending time as a DJ in parties where there are more girls increase my changes?
Thank you.
Hey Ram
Thanks for your question.
It sounds like you haven’t actually approached many women and when you have, you’ve showed a lack of confidence, which is unattractive to women.
Yes, being a DJ will make you a bit more appealing to women, but if you say and do the wrong things when you interact with the women, they aren’t going to be interested. You’ve got to get the fundamentals right (i.e. confidence, conversation, flirting) instead of trying to add external things to who you are (i.e. being a DJ).
Read this: http://store.themodernman.com/the_flow.html
Cheers
Dan
i understand all of these things so far and I`ve learned alot and would never of tought handsome guys feel like way and I always thought they would just move on to the next girl or something.
You see Dan that i am not the handsomest guy around and that i dont really get the pretty girls, its using the “cuter” and shyer boys that do and its confusing, and I would really like to pick up a beautiful girl. I have muscles and abs and all the above but I`m just not “handsome or cute” in the face so its like i just get left behind and all the pretty girls just walk right past me, even if I will start to try hard… I don`t know what to do..???
Hey Robert
Thanks for your comment.
This is your problem, “…all the pretty girls just walk right past me.” It’s not a woman’s role to approach you. You have to have the confidence and social skills to approach her. If you don’t have that, you need to learn from me (or another expert) or fix it on your own.
What you probably don’t realize is that there are things that you can say and do around a woman that pretty much guarantees she will want to be with you sexually. Check this video out: http://www.themodernman.com/about-the-modern-man.html
Cheers
Dan
It certainly doesn’t make any sense at all to see the most ugliest men with a beautiful woman, and it makes me very sick to my stomach to see this since us good looking men have trouble just meeting a woman to date.
Hey Brian
By saying that you are “Sick to the stomach” by the sight of “ugly” men with beautiful women, it means that you’ve been brainwashed by the media into thinking that beautiful people need to be with beautiful people.
On TV and in magazine/billboard advertising, you will almost always see male models pictured with female models. When you see that often enough, you may think that it is “the way it should be.” However, in the real world, women hook up with men based on their feelings of attraction and compatibility.
If you are a good looking guy who can’t get himself a girlfriend, you should consider accepting that your ideas about what women are attracted to are wrong. The version of reality that you are operating on is based on the media, rather than on the real world around you.
Why do the media use models for advertising? Many studies have shown that people trust good looking people more than they do “ugly” people. So, the advertisers use models to make more sales. Simple as that.
If you want to learn about what women REALLY want in a man, then consider reading my book: http://store.themodernman.com/the_flow.html
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
I’ve noticed that when 99 percent of guys look at a beautiful girl they automatically go through the same thought process (Need to be rich/good looking/well hung) that ultimately leads to them feeling unworthy, and if you feel unworthy how are you supposed to attract her?
Do you feel that the media has brainwashed many guys into thinking that they aren’t good enough?
I’m personally tired of making up excuses about why im not getting the success I want. How long is the flow on a discount price for? I would love to buy that eBook.
Thanks for the motivation to finally start changing!
Hey Ian
Thanks for your positive feedback.
I checked my customer records and can see that you’ve now purchased The Flow. Welcome aboard!
About your question: That would have now been answered for you in the book! I look forward to hearing about your success with women.
Cheers
Dan
Hey, how much does a guy’s stinking breath and body-odor matter for a woman’s sexual attraction, as opposed to his masculinity & confidence?
Take for example a guy who has a bad hygiene (he has a stinking breath, he doesn’t brush his teeth, he doesn’t shower and he doesn’t wash his clothes), but he is very masculine and genuinely confident in himself; will that guy still be sexually attractive to women?
Will women perceive that guy in the same way that we men would perceive a woman who has a bad hygiene?
Because, if a woman is aesthetically beautiful/sexy, and she has a bad hygiene; we men would still perceive her as a sexually attractive creature, but our intellectual preference for a woman with good hygiene would make us LOGICALLY decide to go for another woman who has a good hygiene instead.
Does it work in the same way for women, when it comes to a guy’s bad hygiene?
So that they would still be sexually attracted to his masculinity & confidence, but they would LOGICALLY choose another guy who has a good hygiene instead, due to their intellectual preference for a guy with a good hygiene?
Thanks for answering
Hi Knut
Yes, because we live in a modern world where humans have access to showers, soap, deodorant and toothpaste. You do NOT have to be “squeaky clean” for a woman to feel attracted to you, but you should shower, brush your teeth and not have bad body odour.
Not showering, not brushing your teeth and having bad body odour suggests that you are either:
1. Mentally ill and don’t know that we live in a modern, civilized society where good hygiene is expected.
2. A social outcast who rejects normal society and thinks everyone is crazy for keeping themselves clean.
3. A guy who lacks social intelligence and can’t see why it’s important to have good hygiene.
I once took a client out on a weekend course to approach women and he wasn’t wearing any underarm deodorant. He smelt of perspiration, so we stopped at a 7-11 to get some deodorant. I said, “Go in and buy some deodorant. I will be outside.” He came outside with WOMEN’S deodorant. I had to go back in with him to help him get an exchange for men’s deodorant. Outside, I said, “Okay, spray some on and let’s get into action and approach women.”
He then sprayed the deodorant OUTSIDE his shirt. I couldn’t believe it. I said, “Dude, what planet have you been living on?” and explained that I was beginning to understand why women weren’t interested in him.
Good news: He got a phone number on his third approach from a girl that seemed like a perfect match for him.
Cheers
Dan