Texting is an easy way to spark some attraction and arrange a date with a woman.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys end up losing their opportunity with a woman due to making one or more of the texting mistakes outlined in this post.
1. Taking Too Long to Move Things Forward
If a woman likes you, she will be excited to get your first few texts.
She will wonder what is going to happen between you and her.
Will you have sex soon?
Will you start a relationship and fall in love?
Could you be the one?
Yet, if all you do is text her and don’t actually arrange a meetup, she will either get bored or begin playing hard to get.
For example:
- If stops texting you all of a sudden because she is bored, it usually means that she’s not getting enough stimulation out of just texting with you. She wants to see you in person and feel you, touch you and take it from there.
- If she is playing hard to get by taking a long time to respond to texts, it often means that she’s either testing your confidence (e.g. will you panic and think that you’ve lost her interest?) or is trying to see how much you like her (e.g. are you texting her the way you text all other girls, or do you actually really like her?).
What a lot of guys don’t realize is that most women are open to having sex with a guy very quickly these days.
You don’t have to spend days, weeks or months trying to get to know a girl via text before you can meet up with her and have sex with her.
Most women are open to meeting up with you on the day or night of getting your number (via a dating app), or within a day of giving you their number in person.
You just have to text, create some attraction and then arrange to meetup in person.
As long as you are then able to attract her on the date, you will usually end up kissing her and in some cases, even having sex with her.
For example: A study in America found that 55% of couples had sex on their first date.
Another study in Europe found that 70% of women admitted to having experienced a one night stand.
Sex happens very quickly these days, so don’t waste time hiding behind texts and hoping that she asks you out, calls you or says that she really likes you and wants to see you in person.
Simply make her feel attracted to you and then arrange to meet up with her, so you can both either have sex or start a relationship.
2. Playing Too Hard to Get
If a woman has given you her phone number, or matched with you on a dating app, then you don’t need to ‘play it cool’ or ‘play hard to get’ to get a date with her.
Unfortunately, many guys don’t realize that until it’s too late.
A guy will be texting a woman he likes and take a long time to reply, to hopefully show her that he’s not needy and possibly has other options with women.
Yet, she happens to be going through a phase in her life where she is sick and tired of meeting guys who don’t truly like her.
She wants to find a guy who likes her enough to text and arrange a meetup, rather than treating her like she doesn’t really matter to him.
Of course, a guy shouldn’t go to the other extreme and put in loads of effort to show how much a woman means to him.
So, what should he do?
Don’t play mind games.
Just make her feel attracted via text and then arrange to meet up with her.
You don’t need to do anything else.
3. Using a Boyish Text Style
Recently, a 25-year-old guy contacted me via The Modern Man and said, “hey dan…i nid u 2 tel me wat u do to gt such hot chiqs.”
Some guys think it’s cool to text like that, but the reality is that it makes a guy seem immature and in some cases, lacking in intelligence.
To be clear here…
It’s okay to use slang and abbreviations when texting women (e.g. k, np, imo), but if you go overboard with it, many women will assume that you lack maturity and are possibly too boyish (rather than manly) for them.
Always remember that women are attracted to masculine guys, not feminine guys who act girly via text.
Some examples of the girly, feminine style that some guys make the mistake of using when texting women:
- What r u doin? Idk wat 2 do today…LOL 🤪
- LOL….so, sorrrry!!! I m late c u in 20
Boys will say that they don’t know what to do with their day and act all silly about it.
Men will make a decision and get on with it.
There’s nothing wrong with being playful via text, but acting unsure, giddy or indecisive is not attractive to women.
In terms of the slang and abbreviations being used (e.g. “Idk wat 2 do”), it just makes things worse (from her perspective).
Not only is he being indecisive, but he’s also being immature when texting.
So, all that adds up to him potentially being an indecisive, immature, girly type of boyfriend and if she has had any experience being in relationships with guys, she will know that she definitely doesn’t want that kind of boyfriend.
It doesn’t matter if the girl you like is 15, 25, 35 or 45; she doesn’t want a guy to text like a little boy.
She wants to be able to look up to him and respect him, not look down on him like an annoying little brother of hers.
Whatever age you are, always try to present yourself in a mature, masculine way via text while also being playful and joking around at times.
It is fine for a girl (or even a grown woman) to write like a girl, but it is not fine for a guy of any age.
Simply text in a more mature, masculine way no matter how girly she gets with you.
For example:
Do reply to her like this:
- Woman: hey…wat u doin? i wana c u…do u lyke me 2?
Man: You’re cute. Let’s catch up soon 😉
- Woman: hey…wat u doin? i wana c u…do u lyke me 2?
- Man: Yes, let’s catch up. Are you cooking me dinner, or? 😄
- Woman: hey…wat u doin? i wana c u…do u lyke me 2?
- Man: Hey beautiful 😉 Yes, let’s catch up for a drink tonight. 7pm?
Don’t reply to her like this:
Woman: hey…wat u doin? i wana c u…do u lyke me 2?
Man (boy?): yessss!!!! i lyke u 2. im doin nothin atm…i wana cu 2
The second example above looks like two girls texting each other.
Don’t ever reply to a woman’s text like that, unless you’re doing it as a joke.
Other than doing it as a joke, just text like a man and she will naturally feel attracted to your masculinity.
For example:
- Girl: hahahaha….ur so funny…u crack me up! 😛
- Man: Your face is funnier 😄
- Girl: ? 🥺
- Man: Whoops! Damn autocorrect. I meant to say your face is beautiful
- Girl: 😅 thnx
- Man: Whoops! Damn autocorrect again. I meant to say that your face is funny, but also beautiful
- Girl: LOL
- Man: Lol…
It’s totally fine to joke around with a woman like that, as long as you’re not texting like her.
Notice how she was using abbreviations and slang and I was being playful, but still being the more mature one.
If the conversation continued on, it would be fine to add in an abbreviation (e.g. np, k, imo, lol) or a bit of slang here and there, but just don’t do it as much as she does.
4. Constant Contact
Don’t send too many texts to the point where replying to you becomes a time-consuming, fully-involved task her every day.
Let her look forward to getting a message from you, rather than feeling exhausted by how much you are popping up on her phone.
That said, don’t take too long to move things forward and arrange a meetup.
Remember that if the woman you like is attractive, she will usually have a lot of different guys messaging her.
The guy who ends up having sex with her, or being in a relationship with her is almost always the guy who meets up with her in person and then kisses her.
If you are just another guy texting her, then it won’t matter how cool your texts are.
When she kisses a guy, he becomes a real option for her (i.e. a lover or boyfriend).
Additionally, if the kiss feels good, it will usually lead to sex, which will usually then lead to a relationship.
So, do text her and be available, but don’t contact her non-stop all day, every day to the point where she becomes annoyed, or exhausted by all the effort it requires to maintain a ‘relationship’ with you.
Just text to attract her and then arrange a meetup.
At the meetup, make her feel more attracted and then move in for a kiss.
If you don’t really know how to attract a woman in person and are unsure exactly when and how to move in for a first kiss, check out The Flow.
If you want to learn my best secrets for attracting women via text for dates, sex and relationships, check out Text Attraction.
5. Following Up in a Needy Way When She Doesn’t Reply
If a woman doesn’t reply quickly enough, it can cause some guys to worry and think things like, “Damn! Maybe she doesn’t like me anymore!”
In some cases, the guy will feel so worried that he’ll send a text like, “Hey, I sent you a message yesterday. Haven’t heard back from you. Is everything okay?” or, “Hey, I haven’t heard back from you for the last couple of days. Did I say something wrong?”
He either doesn’t realize, or he forgets that people are sometimes genuinely busy and simply don’t have time to reply to text conversations every day.
If she doesn’t reply and he keeps trying to reach out to her in that kind of way, her attraction and respect for him will dwindle away with each additional text of desperation.
The solution is to never worry about the length of time it takes a woman to text you back.
As long as you are being attractive via text, she will feel some attraction and be interested.
However, as explained earlier in this post, if you wait too long to make a move (i.e. set up a date, kiss her, have sex with her), another guy can simply come along, do that and then get into a relationship with her.
So, always focus on moving things forward.
That said, if she hasn’t replied to you for a week, there’s nothing wrong with reaching out to her via text.
Simply send her a text when you are doing an activity (e.g. exercising, at a beach with friends, at a party, walking your dog, eating some tasty food with friends) or have finished the activity (e.g. have eaten the food and there are now empty plates, just got back from a friend’s BBQ) and add in a photo of what you are doing (or what you did) and then say something like, “Hey Emma. Relaxing Sunday for me. Was at a friend’s BBQ. How are you today?”
That way, she can see that you are living your life and aren’t sitting around needing her.
Yet, you are also still interested enough in her to reach out.
Many women are insecure and worry that a guy isn’t that interested in her.
After all, she has experienced many guys being interested in her and then losing interest.
You might think she is amazing, but she has experienced rejection, being ignored and guys losing interest in her.
So, you need to be brave enough to reach out, show some interest, make her feel attracted and then arrange a meetup.
If you don’t, a woman will rarely, if ever, take on that role.
She will wait for you to do it.
6. Being Too Sweet Via Text
It’s totally fine to add an emoji, compliment or sweet line in here via text and there to keep things balanced, but too much sweetness makes most women feel sick.
Women want to experience a range of emotions when interacting with a man, rather than only experiencing one spectrum of emotions (e.g. niceness, comfort, relaxation, contentment, neutrality).
You need to be willing to make her feel excited, shocked, insecure (in a playful way), worried, curious, confused and so on at times.
5 Essential Texting Tips For Men
Here are some essential texting tips that I recommend men follow, if they want to avoid messing up opportunities with women and actually get to dates, kissing, sex and relationships:
1. After getting her phone number for the first time: Send her a quick message like, “Hey – good to meet you. I’ll give you a call to say hi sometime. Dan.”
2. If you call to set up a date and she doesn’t answer: Send a quick text to let her know that it was you and what your basic intentions were, “Hey – it’s Dan. Was just calling to say hi. Hope you’re well. Chat to you another time.”
3. When you begin dating: Use text to flirt with her and keep things moving along. For example: “Hey sexy…” and then continue on with a text conversation. The aim of the text conversation will be to get her on a phone or video call, or to simply arrange a second or third date.
4. When the relationship is sexual: If you’ve had sex and she is keen and interested, then let her be the one texting you from now on. It’s okay to sometimes reach out and text her first. Yet, try to allow her to be the one who is thinking about you, missing you, obsessing over you and wanting to hear from you. You’re not doing anything bad to her by doing that. It’s actually the experience she really wants. Just make sure to treat her well while also making her be the one who is obsessing over you and it will be fun, enjoyable and fulfilling for the both of you.
5. Deep into a relationship: Continue to text in an attractive way. Let her be the one who texts you more first.
“OMG LOL”
Just kidding. I have been waiting for these texting rules for a while. Thanks Dan. This is exactly how I messed with the girl I use to work with that I told you about.
.Always texting her but never talked to her in person
. Always tried to connect through a text message.
NO, No!
IT clears up so much now. To wrap it up.
Are you saying that e-communication should be short and only for quick notices and should not be a form of important communication?
Hey Kingsley
You’re welcome mate.
About your question: Yes, stop wasting time with texts and escalate to sex. Sex is when the real relationship begins. We explain exactly how to escalate to kissing and sex in Dating Power.
Cheers
Dan
Great article Dan.I used to send girly texts & I ‘m going to STOP.
You mentioned about a woman masterbating.Is it proper for a real man to masterbate?
Hi Kumbie
Thanks for your positive feedback.
Yes, stop the girly texts and girls will like you. Girls are sexually attracted to masculinity, not femininity. Well, that depends on their sexual preference, but you know what I mean.
About masturbating: It’s normal, natural and healthy. However, when you have several BEAUTIFUL women wanting to have sex with you at any given time, you don’t need to do it or want to do it. If you’re accepting low-quality women because you aren’t confident and haven’t developed the necessary skills to attract and escalate with beautiful women, you’ll probably end up looking at porn. Solution: Talk to beautiful women, escalate to kissing and sex, enjoy. No need for lonely masturbation.
Cheers
Dan
This article was a good one. I stopped texting in girly style long back. And when I feel I need to call up a chick, I go ahead and call up. Double mindedness gets a sinking to your feet.
Every night. Every night I will go out and I will not stop
until I can honestly tell you that I have had sex with a girl
Find happiness or die trying.
Hi Andrew
Make sure you set yourself up for SUCCESS rather than FAILURE. Saying that you’ll go out every night is unrealistic and you may then feel like a failure when you don’t follow through on that. Commit to 2-3 nights per week.
Cheers
Dan
Thank you Dan
I have been emailing a woman at work, we only talked twice during our lunch break. That was before I read ‘The Flow’ but I still managed to get her interested and attracted by using humour and flirting. After the second lunch date we had, I got her number, she never answered any of my texts when I requested to see her during office hours. She only answered emails telling me she was always busy. I finally called her to ask her why she is not answering my phone texts. It turned her off, she rejected my request for a date when I asked her personally. Can I recover from all of this? I stopped sending emails, texts, I stopped calling.
Hi Fistoz
Thanks for your question.
As explained in The Flow, you should not practice picking up women at work. Only attempt to pick up women at work when you are skilled at picking up women outside of work. I recommend that you back off from this woman and allow her to come to you only. Do not pursue her any further, or else you may cause yourself problems at work.
Additionally, you tried picking her up BEFORE you read The Flow and have likely made a number of mistakes that I explain how to avoid. Just be attractive to her and focus on meeting women outside of work for now.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan. Back when I was bad with women they would never really reply to my texts. Now that I can properly interact with women they text me back within seconds of receiving a text from me, and of course I make them wait AT LEAST 20 mins if not more (sometimes hours) before I text them back. This was a great article. I would never go really girly when sending texts but I would go as far as using “r” for are and “c” for see and “ur” for your but now I will stop. I do have one question though, I do like to send flirty texts, how do you feel about using smiley faces in flirty texts to let them know I am just kidding around with what I am saying?
BTW I got a bar tenders number last night using what Stu and Ben talk about in 21 great ways. I used a combination of what Stu talks about in his bar situation and what Ben talks about in getting lunch somewhere by being a regular. I could tell that this girl could not give her number out at work so she had to tell me in secret, that just makes me think that she likes me ever more! Well I have to go, the girl I met last night is texting me for my last name so she can facebook stalk me! I have not started the 30 day challenge yet.
Thankss.
-DC
Hi DC
Awesome to finally hear a proper success story from you mate!
Enjoy the great times ahead with your new girl!
Cheer
Dan
hi’ dan, i have this beautiful lady i approach, a long time ago, after collecting her number, i call her the following day, with talk on the phone for 2 minutes, she told me she wouldnt be able to come to my place because she is busy, so i hve to wait, tll the next day, when i call her line she refuse to pick my call, i dont no why? this not the first time i am xperiencing ds, i hve talk to many women, but immeadtly i finish talking to dem on the phone, they will turn me down, i have subscribe to many dating website, i even bought many e books audios from the net, but all seems not working, i feel like killing my self naw, the only girl i hve is damn ugly she is just after my money, i am really’ really” pissed off, pls help me out in this condition i am.
Hi Muhammed
Thanks for your question.
Okay, let’s go through this bit by bit:
1. She didn’t answer your call: Most people don’t answer their cell phones every time they ring. I rarely answer mine and prefer people to leave me a message so I can decide if it’s important/urgent enough. I have a busy life with work, friends, my girlfriend and everything else I do as a human being.
2. You are writing like a girl, just as I described in this article. Read the article again.
3. You are buying dating books from other sites. Most “dating gurus” are NOT successful with women, but are simply marketers. Take David DeAngelo for example. His real name is Eben Pagan and he is an internet marketer. He got married to what many refer to an unattractive woman (do a search in Google Images and judge for yourself) after making huge money selling DVD sets to guys about how to pick up beautiful women.
The Modern Man is the REAL DEAL. Ben, Stu and I have hot girlfriends, our customers succeed with women and our advice is based on being real, being natural and being an authentic, powerful man. I can only help you become that if you learn from me. If you choose to learn from random amateurs online, fake dating gurus (like DeAngelo) or worse – from random posts on forums from guys who PRETEND to be successful with women, that is up to you. However, if you want real results, real confidence and real beautiful women – learn from us.
Here are just SOME of my beautiful girlfriends: Photos I’ve been with catwalk models (some shown in the photos, but some I cannot show for privacy reasons), a hot TV news reporter, girl next door types, lawyers, sporty girls, virgins, club chicks, good girls, bad girls, women of pretty much every nationality, etc. Learn from me or waste your time with amateurs and fake dating gurus – up to you.
4. About being depressed and wanting to whack yourself, read this Success Isn’t a Straight Line and stop thinking like such a baby. Be a man. Life is challenging sometimes – DEAL WITH IT. You are stronger than you think are now Muhammed. You’re just not letting yourself be strong. Read: Are You Allowing Fear to Stop You From Enjoying Success?
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan,
Brian here from Ireland, Love this piece, only wish i saw it a lot earlier, I met a girl a few months back she gave me her number and we texted back and forth for a bit, She told me that i texted a bit too much for her, so i stopped texting her and only sent a few texts every now and again, Over Christmas we bumped into eachother on a night out we chatted and well we ended up kissing. Over Christmas we texted again, but this time it was more her texting loads than me, anyway she was reluctant to meet up (she got hurt in a 3 and a half year relationship)anyway we did meet up and got on great,(her words not mine) a few hours later she sent me a text and said it was all a bit too much for her and she was feeling panicky and nervous and didnt wanna meet again. She even said it one text (over xmas) that she likes me and hopes I keep liking her too.What do I do?? I really like this girl.
Hi Brian
Thanks for your question.
This is a classic example of a girl liking a guy, but then backing out because she realized he was needy and would most-likely end up being very needy, jealous, protective, etc if she decided to have a relationship with him. Read: How Neediness Destroys Your Love Life
I’d recommend you either read The Flow or watch Dating Power
Cheers
Dan
Hello Dan, me again haha!
I now understand my weaknesses which are making excuses for not going out and approaching girls and desperation.
Ever since my first love, desperation has been on the radar all the time. How can I deystroy these and overcome them so they are never a on awful barrier again?
Craig
Hi Craig
Thanks for your question.
The answer is simple: Rid yourself of those unnecessary weaknesses and become a confident man. You will learn how to do that when you watch Dating Power and follow our tested, proven to work every time “Confidence Building System.”
Cheers
Dan
Quick question, sometimes when I text I would use “C for see and u for you” but this is because I’m lazy and I absolutely hate texting but I do it anyways because people prefer it, I prefer to call people instead of talking I like hearing a person voice, being able to judge how they are feeling, their excitement etc, a text is kind of boring to me, but maybe I’m an anomaly, so I guess question is if I hate texting, can I just call the girl? Or is there some hidden rule that if she texts you… you have to text back whatever… if my question isn’t clear I’m cool with re-explaining.
Hey Mike
Thanks for your question.
Yes, we explain when you should transition from texts/e-mails/messages to an actual phone call in Dating Power.
About using “C” instead of “See” and so forth: It depends on how you see yourself and how you want others to perceive you. Writing like that can be perceived by some people as though you don’t do things properly/rush and don’t pay attention to the details, have a boyish outlook on life, etc. It’s up to you though – some guys like to be seen that way.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
What’s your opinion on men putting x’s (kisses) in texts/cyber messages?
Hey James
Thanks for your question.
My opinion: It’s unnecessary. Let the girls do all the cute stuff. Only send xxx and love heart stuff on rare occasions if it’s your actual girlfriend and you’re in a great relationship together. Do it prior to that and you’re behaving like a girl.
Cheers
Dan
I figured I’d throw a few comments from my view into the fray.
I whole-heartedly agree with your comment on chatspeak (or what you refer to as ‘girly’ texting)… especially when you are mixing letters and numbers. If I have to spend a few minutes trying to decipher a text I won’t bother with it. I don’t mind the occasional acronym such as LOL but that’s about it.
Secondly, remember first impressions are very important. Even if you’ve already met and talked face to face don’t think that you’re done with the first impression thing, those first few texts can quickly shut down a potential relationship. Occasionally I’ve enjoyed talking to men I’ve met and have agreed to meet them for coffee or lunch and their first texts end it before the coffee/lunch date because they come across wrong.
Finally some advice, stop before you send that text. Read over it once or twice and make sure you are saying what you want to say. This is especially important if you are using predict-a-text. Doing this will catch those occasional texts that sounded fine when your typed it but upon reading it comes across wrong.
Hey Wendy
Thanks for your contribution.
Solid advice guys. Listen to this lady.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
Whats up. So I went out with one of my guys friends and we were having fun at a party. I flirted with a couple of girls but didn’t leave with any of them because they were just too drunk and sloppy for me. But my friend met this “Alpha Girl” and I didnt move in on her cuz he was really into her. He’s not that good at pick-up and he’s not open to learning. I saw alot of mistakes he was making. So at the end of the night, he ask for her number but he reversed it and said she will take his instead. And to this day she never called him?
So what do you say when, a girl reverses the “number request” and she pretty much has the ball in her court?
Hi Kingsley
Yes, that happened to me in the early days (before I wrote The Flow) when I was still discovering the way to do it. It hasn’t happened since I did things properly and followed The Flow.
What should your friend have done? Said, “Okay, never mind” and walked away. If a girl doesn’t want to give you her number, she isn’t interested. Your friend needs to learn how to attract women and go through The Flow, otherwise he will continue to experience that. When you approach interactions in the way that we advise, the woman will actually offer her number before you’ve even asked. Your friend can either keep sucking with women or learn how to do it properly.
Cheers
Dan
Hello dan i need your serious help in handling this situation…i recently met this gal throught my female friend and she is beautiful,now we chat and she lives in a different country but not far from where i liv…so its been 5days since we talk and litle bit about her she is brought up by strong n critical family that keep herbusy,and she keeps herself busy,the first time we talk n second day she was okay but after that she is getting busier,i have been doine bantering n startes with assume rapport and havent started as frie d but what she says few times is people in your countrie are very fast, so i have been teasing her n all she even told me in 1point that i am smart,i think she is playing a bit hard to get even thou shei genuenly busy,yestrtday she said i hv to go something came up fot 10min and she came online after 1 hour n then she tells me she has been invited for dinner,so i need your help..should i get lost for 2days and give her space before i talk to her again,and yeah i have even talked to her about my goals n passions…please guide me the steps to take..
Hey Zahir
Thanks for your question.
She sounds interested, so don’t waste time chatting back and forth. Go to Step 4 of The Flow.
Cheers
Dan
Girl: “hey…wat u doin? i wana c u…do u lyke me 2?”
Man (boy?): “i lyke u 2. im doin nothin…i wana cu 2”
This actually looks more like two idiots speaking their natural language
*Laughing*
Nice one Zach.
Hello Dan!
Wow the flow really works amazing (By the way I was the guy who made the most simple mistake with the flow-remember?). Just had a great time kissing a girl the other night and it felt like it would never stop!
I just have a question regarding communication between dates. So obviously I know the man is the one to call and set up the first date. And I remember you said to pick where the dates are for the first initial dates. My question is, if the girl doesn’t text or call me between dates, should I keep being the one who initiates the call or text for the dates? In the past, i got discouraged when I didn’t hear from the girl when even we had a great date. I know that girls love “the chase” as you explained, but i want to make sure i am doing the right thing.
Thanks for your help on the last question. Your honesty is what brought me to this success:) You are a true coach and you tell it like it is.
Hey Joshua
Thanks for your positive feedback and question.
As much as I appreciate your positive feedback and really do want to help you for free right now, it wouldn’t be fair to my other customers who have purchased Dating Power: http://store.themodernman.com/in/ff7fdd The reason I mention Dating Power is that some guys need to learn more than others. In your case, you are one of the guys who is unable to piece the puzzle together on your own without having to learn more. Some guys are more natural at this at others. For those who aren’t, we have our other programs: http://www.themodernman.com/success/which-product-is-for-you.html
Dating Power will teach you how to escalate to kissing and sex very quickly and how to get women chasing you. However, that’s not something I can teach to ANYONE for free in the comments, even though you’re already a customer. I have to keep the secrets we teach for customers only. Thanks for your understanding.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan! I totally understand. You have to be fair to everyone and that’s integrity.
Thanks mate 🙂
Hey Dan,
Trying to get some more feedback on something I did not see specifically touched upon.
Problem/question: Running into one of two problems occasionally, number 1 being where I am seeing a girl, she always texts me first and then I get the question from her on “why do I (she) always text first, are you shy”?
Then I will run into the texting a girl I haven’t talked to in a day or two and cringing at the fact that I am reaching out to her in text.
In all honestly I’m not much of a tester but if a girl texts me I have no issue in responding, what’s your thoughts?
Manny
Hey Manny
Thanks for your question.
Simple: Just call her, chat and arrange a time to meet up. Texting is merely an additional thing to use – it should not be your main type of communication for arranging times to meet up. Personally speaking, when I was dating multiple women, I was only ever replying to texts from women. I never texted out first. For me, texts were just a case of the girl contacting me to see if I was available.
Prior to being that good with women, I would simply call women and arrange a time to meet up. I wouldn’t hide behind texts.
Cheers
Dan
Hi I been talking to this nice girl.. was wondering what she meant when i sent her a kiss on text message . she text back saying be good Mr??
Hi Kent
Thanks for your question.
Usually, that is just a test to see if you will squirm and apologize for being forward. If you do, you fail the test (i.e. she knows that she’ll be able to boss you around in the bedroom because you’re a wimp when it comes to girls).
Cheers
Dan
A guy has been incessantly texting me leading up to our second date. He is coming off as needy and I am so turned off right now, and contemplating canceling the date. I was looking forward to it until he started texting me multiple times a day asking what I was up to and telling me what he’s doing. I don’t care! I don’t even know you! Not sure what I’m going to do. I might give him a chance on our 2nd date but if the texting/neediness continues likes this it will be axed.
Hi Laurie
Thanks for sharing a woman’s insight into this.
Guys: Take note – good insights there from Laurie.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
I found this article informative and interesting. I was curious I’ve been in a relationship for over 6 months now for texting do the rules change. For example is it ok to text xoxo or <3 or call her babe? It feels right but then even if you are in love with someone is xoxo a turn off?
Thanks in Advance!
Hi Tank
Thanks for your question.
An alpha male can do whatever he wants and it will be fine. If you are normally confident, masculine and alpha around your girlfriend and she consistently sees that no matter where you are in life or who you’re talking to, you are the man, then it is fine to send those sweet messages every now and again.
However, if she notices that other people boss you around, you become submissive around alpha males and you aren’t really rising through the levels of life and reaching for your true potential as a man, then sending sweet messages will just make her see you as more of a girl, which will turn her off.
Cheers
Dan
What if, after sex, girl does not reply to 2 text messages (sent in different days) ?
Does this mean she is testing my patience & confidence or that she simply just moved on with her life ?
Also, we kinda connected in a way that it made me feel grateful to be around her. Possibly she saw that I was lacking in confidence as I started coming out of my shell, and decided to cut her losses.
But why confide in me? Why promise me that our sexual experiences will improve over time, if she wants nothing to do with me ?
What was the point ?
Hey George
Thanks for your question.
It’s a little difficult to determine what is going on because you have only hinted at the fact that the sex you and her had wasn’t very good. “Why promise me that our sexual experiences will improve over time, if she wants nothing to do with me?” It sounds like you and her didn’t really have a very enjoyable sexual experience and she now isn’t incredibly interested in seeing you again.
About her not texting back: Don’t text her, call her. On the phone, she will be able to hear the confidence in your voice and how you’re talking with her, which will get her attracted again. When having problems in a relationship, a text just doesn’t pack the same punch as a phone call.
BTW: If you need some help with giving women great sex, you would learn a lot from the bonus program that comes with Get Your Ex Back: Super System, called Ultimate Make Up Sex: http://store.themodernman.com/get_your_ex_back_super_system.html
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan. Good Day!
I’m from India and am terribly confused with this situation I am in.
I had asked this very pretty nurse out while I was at the hospital. She initially didn’t reply but did keep up eye contact and during the discharge process I asked her if it was ok to leave my number with her. Being a hospital and with staff around her she did not respond but wrote me her number on a piece of paper.
I did get in touch with her the next day via viber – and from there on we did message over a 3 day period between 8 pm and 10 pm. Since then it went onto alternate days and after a week she has stopped responding. Typical graph 🙂
Now what keeps me confused is this
* What i have communicated to her – typical lines
1. I like her very much
2. She is very pretty
3. And she is fun to talk to
4. Instances of wanting to be more involved in the relationship
* What she has communicated to me
1. She likes me a lot
2. She leaves back to her country in 3 months time
2. Is scared to get too involved as she doesn’t want to get into something that would hurt is both
3. Find me good looking and really likes talking to me
In between we had 2 calls – both initiated by me
Call 1 –
Background – I asked her if I could talk to her for sometime and she agreed
Call summary – A 20 minute talk on general stuff
Call 2 –
Background : She wouldn’t respond to my msgs for a couple of days
Call summary : Says she was depressed and was alright after talking to her mother. We talk for an hour during which she asks me if I have a girl friend – answer is no. I ask her about her boyfriend – split up a while ago. The call ends with her saying this – “I don’t want to tell you because I don’t want to encourage you but It is really nice talking to you. Thank you”
Since then she hasn’t replied to my messages or picked my call. It’s been almost a week now.
Status Quo – I have acted in typical man fashion – a spurt of emotional texts and a barrage of calls that went unanswered. Followed by the customary emotional closure 😉
Dan what went wrong? My head is throbbing and I want to get on with important things in my life.
Thanks in advance – Arsh
Hi Niaz / Arsh
Thanks for your question.
This sounds pretty simple. She is leaving the country in 3 months and is open to hooking up for sex for a casual encounter, yet you are coming at her like a potential husband. If you act like a potential husband, she will act like a potential bride (i.e. no sex before you get serious or even marry).
Either that, or she is more attracted to guy who don’t instantly get as keen and emotionally involved as you did. Watch these two videos (or read the posts):
http://www.themodernman.com/blog/how-to-know-if-a-woman-is-interested-in-you.html
http://www.themodernman.com/blog/3-things-that-attractive-women-hate-about-most-single-men.html
Cheers
Dan
hello sir, just last week I got a number from a girl I like (But we’ve never talked before until I got her number) I dont see her very often so I just text her, up to the third day it was all good but then the number of her replies were declining until it reached zero in the 7th day. But then I still sent her messages like goodmorning and goodnight everyday, will that cause annoyance to her? thank you
Hey Nic
Lol…of course man! 😀
Sweet texts become annoying if the girl doesn’t feel sexually attracted to you. It’s very difficult to make a woman feel sexually attracted to you just via text. You have to pick up the phone and call her so she can feel attracted to your confidence tone of voice, your humor, flirting, etc. You then need to push forward and actually arrange a time to meet up in person.
Sounds like you need to get a reminder or initial lesson why it’s so important to attract women. Check these posts out:
http://www.themodernman.com/blog/how-to-know-if-a-woman-is-interested-in-you.html
http://www.themodernman.com/blog/3-things-that-attractive-women-hate-about-most-single-men.html
Also, here’s a post that I made for guys who are mistakenly trying to get an ex girlfriend back via text. It will help you understand why you should try to avoid texting too much:
http://www.themodernman.com/relationship/the-number-one-reason-why-you-cant-text-an-ex-back.html
Cheers
Dan