If you haven’t been dating in a while, if you’re new to dating or if you’re want to improve your skills with women, online dating can sometimes be a good stepping stone. The truth is that online dating is best used in combination with actually going out and talking to women in bars.
However, since many guys are interested in online dating these days – let’s have an honest look at the pros and cons.
Online dating wasn’t very popular before the late 1990s and early 2000s, but today it has become a much more viable option to make initial contact with women. Unlike in the past, you’ll find that there are more women who are also looking to meet their match online.
It’s no longer just the homely girls who frequent the online dating sites. Many beautiful women, especially those with busy careers, are now finding that meeting someone online suits their busy lifestyle.
After all, they don’t have to get dressed or deal with the noise and crowds generally associated with the club scene and they can better fit it into their schedule.
Today, there are free sites with many active members, but sometimes paying a small fee with give you access to women aren’t being flooded with messages by free users.
While you can correspond with women internationally and nationally, some sites will give you the option to search for women within a short drive from where you live.
It’s a good feature, because unless you’re ready and willing to move to the other side of the world if you become serious with the woman, or you simply don’t want to have to spend a fortune traveling back and forth to date, you might want to limit your search to a girl who is relatively close to you; at least within the same state, country or region.
Remember, if you’re going to have a true relationship with, or at the least, have sex with your new lady, you’re actually going to have to be in the same room. (Online sex doesn’t count for anything).
Let’s cover some of the other pros and cons.
Pros
1. You can target potential women not only by looks, age and location but also by common interests.
2. Before you even begin corresponding with the woman, there is usually some information on her available on the site that will make ‘starting a conversation’ easier.
3. You can talk to many women at the same time.
4. On the outside chance you don’t hit it off with a woman you like; you’re only a few key clicks away from your next potential conquest. No fear of rejection there.
5. You can determine how quickly or slowly you want to get to know the women. Although, due to the removed nature of online dating, people have a tendency to open up more quickly about themselves.
6. You can apply your skills of flirting online before going out into the real world to experiment.
7. When you finally do meet in person, you’ve already established a relationship or at least have a familiarity with each other.
Cons
1. Women aren’t always honest when they put up their photo. You can’t tell how recent her picture is or if it is really her. Some women feel that once you get to know them, their appearance won’t matter as much so they are deceptive about the photos they upload.
2. You can easily get into the bad habit of using online dating as a substitute for going out and meeting women in person.
3. Some sites charge a recurring fee, while others are ‘pay as you go’. You could end up spending a lot of money over the course of a year.
4. The so-called ‘relationship’ you build with a woman online (sometimes over months) might not match the actual relationship you have once you meet in person. Many guys report feeling worse when they rejected by an online love than if they got rejected by a woman they met briefly in a bar.
5. Most women use online dating to boost their self-esteem, so they are more confident when they meet guys in person. The check their online dating accounts before going out on the town to see all the adoring messages from guys (sometimes 100s of messages per day). Most guys say the same thing, “Hi, you’re beautiful – I’d like to get to know you” and boring stuff like that.
6. Online dating has to be one of the slowest ways to get a girlfriend when compared to just walking up to women in bars, shopping malls, etc and starting a conversation.
Online dating relationships tend to take many months to build up, whereas you can get a phone number in one minute by walking up and talking to a woman in person. If you fear approaching women, watch the free video to learn how to begin building up the confidence to approach women in real life.
Going on a date
If you do decide to use online dating and score a date in the real world, make sure you take proper precautions so you aren’t stuck on a date with an overweight woman or a psycho chick.
Choose a public place with lots of people and plan for it to be a quick initial visit such as meeting for drinks, lunch, coffee or some other arrangement that will allow you to make a graceful and speedy exit if necessary.
You don’t want to spend several hours at dinner with a woman that you have no real chemistry with. On the other hand, if you’re enjoying yourself, you can always extend the time of your date.
Online dating can be a great way to meet women as long as you don’t substitute online dating for the real thing. The best way to use it is in combination with actually going out on weekends and talking to women in bars.
Talking to women in bars is the fastest way to improve your conversation skills with women as well as your confidence. Women EXPECT to be approached in bars and they WANT it.
If you are a good guy with good intentions, you are almost doing women a favor by approaching and talking to them, so don’t ever feel bad about it in anyway. Women don’t hate good guys who are confident enough to walk over and say hello…
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Great article. I used to try to get women through online dating sites but after a year of messing around and not getting results, I chose to take your advice and actually approach women in real life. Got a phone number that lead to a date and sex on my second ever approach. Enough said I think…
It’s cool that you can filter out people and kind of get your dream girl but online dating is just weird in my opinion. It feels so desperate whereas just talking to girls at a party, a bar or in a shop is so much more natural to me.
Very true!! Online dating is not for me, but I know couples who have met online, are married, have kids and are happy now. It happens but just like regular dating but takes a lot longer because you have to spend time getting to know the girl for a while before she will go on a date. I prefer approaching women. I bought The Modern Man’s ebook called The Flow last year and haven’t looked back since.
I have tried it and frankly, the websites out there have me still scratching my head on how they really work. Some of them ask questions to help pair you up with other people who might be a match.
Unfortunately, you cannot group a person based on 29 questions. Some of the choices were just crazy and selecting an age… well, when I tried it, I was not happy. Most of the men were on the higher end of age limit and had few common interests.
None of the dating sites I tried ever worked for me, most of the people I’ve ran into tried to scam me into given them money.
Even one dating site which paid money to get a premium account took my money even when I cancelled the recurring bill.
I did get my refund though thanks to Paypal & from then on I didn’t sign up for those sites again