These days, dating multiple people at once is something that both men and women do to enjoy a fun and exciting lifestyle full of sex, love and rollercoaster emotions.
Some people want to settle down and get married right now, some want to start a family as soon as possible and others just want to enjoy sex and good times for a while.
How about you?
If you are a man who is interested in dating multiple women at once, you may:
- Have just come out of a long-term relationship and are now looking to have some fun, before committing yourself to another serious relationship.
- Be too busy at the moment (i.e. with work or study) to devote yourself to a committed relationship.
- Enjoy having new women in your life all the time.
- Get bored after having sex with a woman for a few months.
- Have not found the right girl yet who makes you feel like you want to commit for real.
- Have recently been dumped or cheated on by a woman you really loved and now want to get some revenge by having sex with many women and breaking hearts along the way.
- Enjoy pulling one night stands from bars and nightclubs and then dating women for a while before replacing them with new girls.
- Be bored in a relationship or marriage and want to get some action on the side.
- Be tired of jerking off to porn every week and now want to have sex with hot women in real life.
- Be with a woman who doesn’t want a fully committed relationship right now. She just wants to enjoy sex and good times for a while and see where it goes.
To Date Multiple Women at Once, You Need to Be Good at Attracting Women
If a guy doesn’t know how to make a woman feel a lot of attraction for him, he won’t be able to pull off the lifestyle of dating multiple women at once because he will be relying on ‘getting lucky’ every once in a blue moon.
If you want to be the kind of guy that women happily date and hook up with, even though you are dating other women, you need to be able to make them feel a LOT of attraction for you based on what you say and do when interacting with them.
When you can do that, most of the women you meet will like you and be open to something happening (i.e. phone number exchange, kiss, sex, date) between you and them.
My Dating, Sex and Relationship History
Personally speaking, I had sex with more than 250 women before settling down with my perfect girl and getting married.
As you will see if you watch the video below, I had an amazing time having sex and enjoying fun times with many women and I’m now enjoying deep love and commitment with my perfect woman, which is just as, if not more amazing than dating multiple women at once.
If didn’t have sex with so many women before settling down, I don’t think I would have felt satisfied enough to settle down.
I always held the view that there were way too many sexy women in the world to just have one of them.
Yet, by the time I met my girlfriend (now wife), I had enjoyed more than enough women to satisfy my insatiable appetite.
Poll
"What is Your Relationship Goal?"
- Have relationships with many women throughout life (21%, 4,269 Votes)
- Marry a woman and stay with her for life (51%, 10,498 Votes)
- Stay with one woman for life without getting married (12%, 2,547 Votes)
- Still not sure (15%, 3,128 Votes)
Total Voters: 20,442
Loading ...How Many Women Did I Date at Once?
There were times when I had 5 or 6 women on rotation, who were all actively pursuing me and coming around to my place for sex.
Most of the time though, I just kept to 3 women at once because any more than that began to cause more problems than it was worth (e.g. it became difficult to remember which girl you took where, what you talked about, what movies you saw, their personal interests and so forth).
Seeing more than 3 women at once also eats up too much of your time, which then takes you away from achieving your life purpose or career goals, so I recommend that you limit the number of women you are seeing to 2 or 3 at once.
When you’re dating multiple women at once, they won’t all be in your life full-time all the time.
Sometimes, you will have women who come in and out of your life every few months just to see you a few times and then they leave again because they know they can’t get you to commit.
I always had those girls in the background and when they were bored or feeling lonely or were sick of meeting guys who didn’t make them feel the type of attraction they were really looking for, they’d text or Facebook message me and we’d catch up at my place for sex.
Some of them wanted to be “wined and dined” before the sex because they didn’t want to make themselves look cheap, which was fine by me because I love women and enjoy spending time with them. It was always a good break away from the endless hours of work that I put into The Modern Man.
With those women, I would go out to dinner or a movie, go for a drive down to the beach or go out clubbing with them and then go back to my place for sex.
That went on for many years and I never, ever got bored of it.
When I met my girlfriend (who recently became my wife), we immediately fell in love with each other.
It was weird because even though I had other women in my life when I met her, she instantly became my number one girl.
Both her and I couldn’t eat or sleep properly after meeting each other because we knew that this was it.
She moved in with me almost immediately (she stayed over after the first two days of knowing each other and then packed a suitcase and moved in with me, before eventually getting rid of the place she was renting) and we’ve been inseparable ever since.
I sent text messages to four different women to let them know that they wouldn’t be able to come around to my place for sex anymore.
Two women called me up crying, another one called up and told me that she would wait until I dumped my girlfriend and the other said that I was an asshole for leaving her all of a sudden like that.
Two months later, the girl who said I was an asshole sent me a Facebook message saying that she missed me and hoped that we might be able to be together again one day.
I wasn’t surprised.
6 DOs and DON’Ts of Dating Multiple Women at Once
1. Don’t Call, Text or Message Her Once You’ve Begun Having Sex
The golden rule of dating multiple women at once is to never call or text them after you’ve had sex.
Get to sex and then don’t call or text anymore.
Only answer her calls, or reply to her texts.
The point of doing that is to let her see that you’re not chasing a relationship with her and will only catch up with her when she reaches out to see you.
Dating multiple women is different from dating one woman and courting her into a committed relationship.
If you are courting one woman, you should usually proactively text her, talk to her on the phone or see her in person a few times a week.
Yet, if you’re dating multiple women, you should stop calling or texting after you’ve had sex with the woman for the first time.
It’s fine to make a comment on her social media profile, click like on a photo, etc, but avoid proactively chatting with her via text, or on a call.
Apart from that, just wait and let her be the one who texts or calls you.
When she does reach out to you, don’t always answer or reply.
Sometimes reply immediately or answer her call, sometimes reply an hour or two later and sometimes call her back the next day.
If you are the one who is always calling her and texting her, she will assume you want to be her committed boyfriend.
So, just let her do all the chasing after sex has happened between you.
When you answer a call from her, keep the conversation brief and positive, but try to get to the point of the call (i.e. find out what she wants, or just suggest catching up) instead of wasting your time chatting about random stuff.
If she asks to see you, but you’re going to be busy on the day she wants to meet, just set up another time to meet her.
If you are free to meet her, it’s fine to go ahead with that, but just make sure that you avoid seeing her too often.
If you want to date multiple women, you actually have to spend time with multiple women.
Don’t spend too much time with just one girl.
Seeing her once a week is perfect.
Twice a week and it starts feeling too much like a boyfriend/girlfriend situation and three times a week means you’re pretty much committing yourself to one girl.
The fact is, if you are actually dating multiple women and have a life purpose that you are following through on, you simply won’t have the time to see her more than once a week.
If you don’t maintain a balance of seeing her once a week (or less), as well as having a life purpose that you’re actively pursuing, then it will be difficult for you to control your emotions (e.g. eagerness to see her, feeling lonely and bored, etc) and successfully date multiple women at once.
2. Do Be Honest When She Asks You, “Are You Seeing Anyone Else?”
Once you’ve had sex with her a few times, but are not behaving as though you want a committed relationship, a woman will usually ask if you’re seeing any other women, or where you think your relationship with her is headed.
The best approach is to be honest with her.
For example:
- Her: Are you seeing anyone else?
- You: Yes, I’m seeing other women as well because I don’t want a fully committed relationship right now. I like you the most though.
- Her: Where is this going? Are we going to have a committed relationship or do you just want me for sex?
- You: All I know is that I really like you, you’re sexy and you’re a great woman. Right now, I just don’t want a committed relationship though. If you can’t handle that, then we won’t see each other anymore of course, but if you can, then we can keep seeing each other like this and see where it goes.
To lessen the blow and not bruise her ego too much, you can also respond with a bit of humor, rather than immediately giving her a serious response.
For example: If she asks if you are dating multiple women or just her, you can smile and look around the room and say, “Hmmm, let me see. Nope. It looks like you’re the only one I’m with. Only you baby…” and then change the subject.
Some women will laugh and then read between the lines to determine that you’re only having sex with her (i.e. it’s a casual sex relationship) and are not in courting mode.
It’s important to point out here that many women actually want you to avoid answering the question because they just want to have casual sex with you for a while.
Not all women are looking for a committed relationship.
Sometimes, it’s best to turn the question back on the woman by saying in an easygoing, kind, but also assertive way, “Why are you worrying about that? I’m here with you, we’re having a great time…there’s no need to worry about that stuff…I like you…don’t worry so much about those things.”
You can then add in the fact that since you and her aren’t in a committed relationship, you wouldn’t think of asking her if she’s dating other men at the same time.
Saying that (in an easygoing way of course) will make some women feel a little guilty, or silly for bringing up the subject and they will usually feel hesitant to ask you about it again in the future.
After telling a woman not to worry so much about whether or not you and her are in a committed relationship, expect her to try all sorts of things to get you to commit (e.g. saying she doesn’t want to see you anymore, not calling for a week, crying about you not committing to her, calling you an asshole, etc).
Personally speaking, most of my women knew that I was dating other women without me even having to say it.
How?
They noticed how intensely attracted they felt only after a few minutes of interaction and many would say something like, “Hmmm…you’re trouble.”
Taylor Swift (I don’t like her music BTW…lol) sings about that sort of thing in a couple of her songs.
The lyric in one of her songs that goes, “I knew you were trouble when you walked in” is about her knowing that the guy just wanted sex, but she went for it anyway.
In another of Swift’s songs, she openly admits to loving guys who are players, “Cause you know I love the players…and you love the game.”
In real life, Swift couldn’t go around admitting that in interviews because people would think she was slutty.
Instead, she puts on her happy, innocent face that people like her for and then gets on with her real life behind the scenes.
Most women are like that too.
They love to feel attracted and usually can’t stop themselves from falling for players.
Anyway, back to my story…
After I’d had sex with a woman and she got to experience my raw, masculine confidence in the bedroom, she would know for sure that other girls would gladly come around to my apartment just for sex even if they didn’t get to be my exclusive girlfriend or not.
It was obvious by the way I spoke to her, looked at her, touched her and behaved around her that I found her incredibly sexy and really enjoyed the sex, but I didn’t actually need her in my life.
Sometimes, women would say, “You’re baaaad…” or they would flat out ask me, “How many other girls are you sleeping with?” and I would just laugh.
If they persisted and kept asking me about other women, I would just say something like, “Yes, I’m seeing other girls, but I like you and when I’m with you, I only think about you. Don’t worry about the other girls…we always feel good when we’re together, right?”
The woman would then either answer, “Yes” or try to make me feel guilty by saying, “No…you’re the only guy who makes me cry. You treat me so badly. I don’t know why I continue seeing you.”
Of course, she loved the fact that she cried about me and was obsessed and wanting to see me all the time.
I knew that, so I wouldn’t ever get sucked in by a woman’s attempt to control me with guilt because I know that women love being with a guy who can make them feel so much love and yearning that they cry about not being able to get him to fully commit.
So, after confirming to a woman that I was indeed seeing other women, I would then usually draw her into me, hug her, start kissing her neck and grabbing her butt at the same time (in other words, begin to lovingly devour her), firmly caressing her all over her body and then have sex with her.
Instead of me being pulled into drama and useless conversation about committing, I would use my masculinity to lead her and I out of that conversation and into a more enjoyable emotional state of being.
I would turn her on and love her in the way that she really wanted at that moment.
She would look at me with excitement, hoping that somewhere deep in my mind, I was beginning to change and would only want to be with her.
She would hope that if she gave me enough sexual pleasure, I would realize that she was the girl for me.
During those moments, a woman often tries her very best to please you during sex, in the hope that you will possibly change your mind and commit to her…even if she has done that 10 times over the past few months.
It’s similar to makeup sex after a breakup, but more erotic because she also feels like she is being used for sex…and loves it at the same time.
3. Do Let Her Be Your Time to Unwind
If you’re constantly taking a girl out to expensive restaurants and trying to organize additional dates, then it means that you’re most likely trying to be her boyfriend.
You are putting a lot of active time and energy into wanting to be with her, rather than just seeing her whenever she wants to see you.
If you want to date multiple women at once, you need to have a more balanced approach to how you invest your time and energy.
By going after your life purpose with unrelenting determination, you won’t always have a lot of time for her.
If you are a man who is rising through the levels of life, you will be under a lot of pressure to continue succeeding at whatever you do.
So, you won’t have time to just waste hanging out with her for no reason, or because you need the company.
You have other things to do.
By the way…
I’m not talking about working your normal hours at a job, or spending a lot of time lifting weights up and down in a gym.
I’m about talking about you having huge life goals that stretch out as far as you can envision into the future and then going after that with unrelenting determination.
That’s one of the main things that ensure a man does not incorrectly prioritize a woman in his mind.
For example: Even though I am now married and see my wife as the most important person in my life who I wholeheartedly love, my main focus is still my mission here with The Modern Man.
The same thing happened when we had children.
Even though I love our twin daughters, they have not become more important to me than my mission here with The Modern Man.
A woman that you commit to and any children you have can be the most important people in your life, but not the most important thing as well.
They are the most important people in my life, but are not the most important thing as well.
The same thing applied when I was dating multiple women at once.
Women always had to fit into my lifestyle, or they didn’t get to be with me.
Simple as that.
When I did have time to spend time with one of my girls, I’d just get her to come over to my place for sex and let her hang out with me while I was unwinding after working all day.
My girls knew the deal and were fully aware that they were coming over for sex, but I still needed to be respectful and sometimes take a girl out to do something else (e.g. go watch a movie, go out to eat, go for a walk in the city) instead of just having sex with her and then watching TV.
Since I was working so hard on The Modern Man, I really enjoyed the quality time that I spent with my girls because it helped me take my mind off my work (i.e. my mission to help men succeed in all areas of dating and relationships with women).
Seeing my girls was my time to unwind and breathe in some feminine energy after being so masculine all day long while I worked on my mission.
When I would see my women, I would enjoy doing things like going for a walk by a river, going for coffee, watching a movie at the cinema, grabbing a bite to eat somewhere, chilling out at the beach around sunset or even going out to party with her and her friends, or our mutual friends.
4. Don’t Get Too Close With Her Family
When couples transition from casual dating to building a serious relationship, they will usually then formally introduce each other to their family.
When dating multiple women at once, you will want to completely avoid meeting her parents if possible.
If she invites you to a family get-together, you can go to it as long as she is aware that you are dating other women and are not exclusive with her.
She has to know that you’re not looking for a relationship.
If she’s cool with that, then meeting her parents isn’t a big deal to her.
However, if you’ve been lying to a woman and pretending that you are committed to her, then she may be very disappointed and hurt when you eventually break up with her, or tell her the truth.
5. Don’t Give Up Seeing Other Women, Unless You Want to
Some a woman won’t like that you’re seeing several women at once because it’s just not how she rolls, or because she’s trying to find a guy who only wants her, or a guy who can’t get other women and will hopefully commit to her because of that.
A woman like that will often will often demand that you only see her and will not be willing to share you with other women.
If you want to have multiple women in your life at once, you have to be willing to risk losing some women along the way.
If you aren’t willing to risk losing a woman, then you simply aren’t ready to begin dating multiple women at once.
When one of your women demands that you stop seeing other women and only see her, you should only accept that if you want to truly commit to her.
If you know that you just want to have sex with her for a while, then simply laugh at her and the situation and let her know that you will think about it.
Why not tell her “No” directly?
Many women (in fact, most women) only demand that you stop seeing other women, so you will say something like, “Okay, I will only see you” and then they feel better about themselves.
Yet, she knows very well that you will continue seeing other women (and she is okay about that) and that she will just have to try harder to get you to commit to her.
When I met my wife, we knew right away that we weren’t going to be having an open relationship.
It was serious and both of us knew that right away.
When she said to me, “I don’t want you seeing other women, okay? It’s just us, right?”
I paused to think about it for a few seconds and then said, “Yes, just you and me” and then I stuck to that promise.
I was willing to stop seeing other women because she was and still is more than enough for me.
6. Do Try to Look After Her Feelings
It’s impossible to avoid breaking the heart of some women when you’re dating multiple women at once.
It’s simply a part of having many women in your life at the same time.
That said, when dating multiple women, you shouldn’t intentionally try to hurt a woman’s feelings and you should always try to look out for her feelings as much as possible.
For example: Many women will ask you things like, “Am I not good enough for you?” to which some guys will just be an asshole and say, “I don’t know…” and leave her thinking that maybe it means she isn’t good enough.
My response to that type of question is, “I think you’re sexy and beautiful and I really like you, but I’m not looking for anything serious right now. If you don’t want to see me anymore and have fun like we do, then I encourage you to go and find another man. Go for it.”
Some women took me up on that offer and would call me up or text me from a bar/nightclub to say that they were out partying with their girlfriends.
They were hoping I’d get jealous and come running to them at the club.
I’d always reply with something short like, “Have fun!” and then think nothing of it.
Why?
I had other women in my life and if I wanted to commit to her, I would have already done so.
Yes, I broke some hearts along the way, but women who are in demand also break the hearts of many guys in their life.
Ready to Get Started?
Would you like to enjoy your choice of beautiful women?
Can you imagine what life would be like if most of the women you met from now on really liked you and wanted to get you to commit to them?
Can you imagine having multiple women come over to your place every week for sex?
If you are serious about having this sort of power with women, I am ready to teach you right now.
The method I used to approach, attract and pick up women non-stop is taught in my eBook/audiobook, The Flow.
Want to Know the SECRET to Success With Women?
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Hey Dan, great article here!
I’ve been using The Flow for coming up on a year now and also been using Better Than a Bad Boy since it was released a couple of months ago.
It was interesting because with The Flow I was picking up plenty of women and having sex with them, of course, but the Better Than a Bad Boy program took me to a new level like you said it would do. I have now 4 women that are my lovers…one is more of my girlfriend, but she knows that other women see me too because she has seen stuff in the bathroom like hair clips and ladies lip balm and so on.
I am starting to think that I will stop and choose a woman soon to have a relationship with. I am 29…do you think I should stop now?
Michael
Hi Michael
Thanks for the positive feedback and for sharing your success story. Much appreciated.
Well, it sounds like you’ve been enjoying yourself for quite a while, which is good to hear. About settling down with one woman: It’s definitely a personal choice. I have a lot of friends who are married and a lot who are enjoying the same lifestyle as I am. Some people naturally gravitate more towards setting up a family and getting that going early in life, whereas for me – I’d prefer to start that in my 40s. I’ve been enjoying having new women for about 7 years now and it never gets boring. The rush that you get from sleeping with new hot chicks never goes away. It’s just awesome. Last week I had my 4th ever threesome. While I think threesomes are a bit overrated (because it’s a lot of work managing two chicks in the bedroom), it is definitely an awesome feeling. You feel like a king. The view you get when standing up and two women are on their knees giving you head is priceless. I’m just not bored of all that stuff yet.
However, if you’re feeling the urge to settle into a committed relationship, go ahead and do it. Just make sure you follow the advice from Better Than a Bad Boy though and set your relationship dynamic up correctly. I have friends who are married, but they are unhappily married because they don’t know about any of this stuff and have inadvertently set up a relationship dynamic where the woman has the power. As a result, she is rarely interested in sex and the guy is basically under her control. I also have friends who are very happily married and they all have the traditional balance of power set up in their relationship, where the woman is clearly the woman and the man is clearly the man. You would know how to set that up from watching Better Than a Bad Boy, so just make sure you do that…and enjoy the great times ahead.
Cheers
Dan
Brilliant post! This is pure gold! I really enjoy your articles and vids. Thanks for sharing.
Hey JJ
You’re welcome mate.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan. Great article. I’m watching better than a bad boy at the minute and have read the flow a couple of times. Unfortunately I have a very specific problem that I’m having trouble getting around. I’m living in Korea at the minute and the language barrier is a serious problem. Just today I phoned a really hot Korean girl whose number I had got the previous week, and who speaks quite good English. But she couldn’t understand anything I said over the phone. after that I phoned another girl and she just hung up after a few seconds, probably thinking it was a spam call.
Do you have any general advice for getting with women who you basically can’t communicate with beyond a very basic level?
Hey Gerry
Thanks for your question and positive feedback.
Yes, I definitely have some advice for that. KISS the woman (or escalate to sex) the first time you meet her because if she doesn’t speak your language, a phone call is going to be pretty much useless. You just have to be more sexual and physical. Believe me, it’s much better to get used to doing that than getting phone numbers and having to deal with those type of phone calls. If you’re worried about being rejected for escalating so quickly – don’t be. When a woman is attracted to you (she will be if you’re using the techniques from The Flow and Better Than a Bad Boy. It sounds like you’re doing very well with that by the way – congrats), she will be much more receptive to you openly touching her, hugging her, drawing her into you in a confident, easy-going, but also subtly sexual way. It’s not about being sleazy, but it is about being forward in a confident, easy-going way. Since these women won’t be able to understand you on the phone, you have to push through and make something happen during the first interaction.
BTW: Have you got Dating Power? Use the many kissing techniques in that program. If you don’t have it, we show a great sample technique in the free preview video here: http://store.themodernman.com/products/dating_power.php
Cheers
Dan
thnx a lot. the rest is up to me. i will try this techniques. if it works…………… i owe u.
Hey Dan just wanted to say that was good advice. I had a one night stand with a hot Korean girl last weekend. I kissed her within minutes of meeting her and instead of asking for a phone number I just said ‘Do you want to get out of here?’, and of course she did.
Thanks again,
Gerry
Hi Gerry
Nice work! Nothing better than hearing back from guys who actually USE the advice, instead of just learning and then being too afraid to do it. Knowledge is power when USED.
Enjoy the great times ahead!
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan. Its been a while since I posted, how you doing? Things have been great for me, I have a question.
There are these two chicks that are friends at this coffee place I come to often. They are both really into me and they are both hot. How do I go about having sex with both of them? Ill get their numbers next time I see them but I want to start it off right where I don’t screw up the chance of laying both of them. Also, they are religious girls so I think they might do the “no sex till im married” thing whats the best way to get past that? Thanks Man
DC
Hi DC
What the? Are you trying to fail?
If the two girls work together, don’t try to sleep with them both right away. Only when you’ve been dating multiple women for a long time and are very skilled at it, would you attempt something like that. Pick one of them, have sex with her and then follow my rules on dating multiple women. Don’t try to run before you can walk dude. Go through the process of becoming a natural with this.
About their religious beliefs: Sorry man, I don’t get into religious stuff here. Just follow the 4-steps of The Flow. Also, in The Flow I explain what to do when a girl puts up resistance to your escalation to sex.
Cheers
Dan
hi Dan
I feel that should tell my history for all the guys out there that think that things like this are not possible,
About a year ago I just to dream to be the man I am today, I am 21 years old and I been always consider by the woman to be good looking, therefore before I saw this program had some girlfriends in my high school, but since I did not have this program I didnt know how to be a real man therefore woman leave my or treat my HORRIBLE. (THERE IS NOTHING MORE DISAPOINTING FOR A WOMAN THAT A GUY THAT IS GOOD LOKING, BUT INSECURE, NOT MANLY ENOUGH AND THAT DO ALL THE 100S OF MISTAKES I JUST TO DO)
Anyway back to my history a year ago a girdfriend I just to love with all my heart leave my, since I didnt know anything of relationships she just told my that she did not love my anymore that I was just like a brother to her and that one day I was going to meet a nice girl. That was the worst day of my entire life I spend 2 weeks without going out of bed, I didnt went to school, I didnt eat almost anything, after time I tough that she leave my because I was to skinny (witch I am not)and she found another man that was stronger, so I decide go to the gym and to go out as strong as never and after 2 months of intense gym and following the wrong advise about woman I got the same answer from woman they look at my some of them even dance with my and kiss me, but after a while they leave my.
One day I saw my ex she was really happy laughing and pleasing another guy, but I could not believe how ugly that guy was he was shorther than her, fat, not smart and not that well dress up.
The next day I went to my ex house and I told her that I will not leave her alone until she told my why she left my for one of the ugliest guys in the history, she laugh and told me the worst insult I personally have ever get ” you are not man enough for my”.
Then I saw this program and after a month I saw huge changes in my life I was having sex almost every week (sex that you have when you are a real man is nothing compared to the poor sex you have when you are lucky)
Today I am in a relationship with a really beautiful girl, and even though I still making some mistakes she is happy with me because I am better than the other 99 percent of all the guys that have not clue with woman.
to sumarize I want people to know this:
1 Being good looking is nothing if you dont have the rest (THERE IS NOTHING MORE DISAPOINTING FOR A WOMAN THAT A GUY THAT IS GOOD LOKING, BUT INSECURE, NOT MANLY ENOUGH AND THAT DO ALL THE 100S OF MISTAKES I JUST TO DO)
2 Once you get into a good level following the program you wont have to remember the program, it will become as simple as saying anything to any girl and have her (begging you) to take her and you will laugh at the mistakes you just to do.
3 This program works because it simple tell you how to be a real man witch it feels great, there is not cheap mental tricks that other sites have.
thanks
Hi Pablo
This is brilliant – thank you!
The comment your girlfriend said to you (about not being enough of a man for her) was exactly what you needed to hear. You are actually LUCKY to have been told that and only found it out because you had the courage to go back and ask her. When most people break up, the NEVER say the REAL reason why they are breaking up with the person. In this case, she knew that you were too much of a boy/nice friend and had become like a brother to her, but she didn’t want to hurt your feelings by saying that.
Anyway, it’s awesome to hear that you’ve transformed yourself and it’s even better to see your comment to other guys reading along, when you say, “Once you get into a good level following the program you wont have to remember the program.” I appreciate that you included this point, because a lot of guys assume they won’t be able to do it or will have a hard time remembering everything. However, this isn’t complicated advice full of tricks you have to use on women. It’s about being a man. Once you are a real man, picking up women is the easiest thing in the world…and then you can get on with enjoying your life and enjoying women.
So, thanks again for sharing your success Pablo. Much appreciated!!!
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
I wrote to you a while back about a girl I dated, who I used to drool over in high school (my Dream Girl) and thought I would NEVER be able to have her. But 35yrs later AND after listening to your Mastery, Methods and Mindsets and Dating Power, I ran into that girl and swept her off her feet. Unfortunately I let the ball drop, having stopped using the techniques from that program and lost her.
During one of our last dates, we were at a concert with some friends and there was another very hot girl that I had seen around, but thought I’d never be able to have. Now, since losing my Dream Girl,I’ve read The Flow and bought your Better than a Bad and Alpha Male Power Series and have run into this other girl from the concert (she’s now single). She started showing up at places I frequent and she’s made it obvious, that she wants me to ‘pick’ her. We’ve been together that last 4 weekends, but this last weekend she brought a girl friend along with us. We hit 4 bars and had a great time. The two girls driven to me together and at the end of the night and were leaving together, but the gf of my date hesitated getting out of my car, and my girl part jokingly but part seriously, had to tell her “get the f out” so we could say our goodnight. Then the gf of my date (who I had never met before that night) reached over the seat and gave me a great big smooch, before getting out. Needless to say it got very hot in my car before the other girl started beep the horn (they both had a long drive home).
I have no doubt that using the techniques from your products are what got me to this wonderful place I am with women now.
Hi Erik
Thanks for sharing your success.
Yes, as you have discovered – our advice works when you use it. If you allow yourself to go back to what was getting you rejected in the past, it will happen again. However, now that you are back on track, if you keep going for the next few months, you will find that it all becomes natural for you and you will not return back to your old ways.
Fortunately and unfortunately for you, you got results VERY QUICKLY the first time you started using our techniques and then stopped using them. This time around, make sure you do what works. As mentioned, it will eventually become natural and automatic for you to do the right thing around women. For now, just keep focussing on following our advice and having two women fight over you will become very normal. When women come across a guy who understands what women REALLY want, they are willing to do what that girl did you to. (For the guys reading along with the comments: She kissed him in front of her friend, who also liked him).
Cheers
Dan
can you answer me a quick question,
my girlfriend likes to to fight physically with other women a lot because since she is criticizes a lot for been beautiful and arrogant, there family is against it and I dont know if I should be supporting her or not because I knew she was like that so I should support her, any help?
she fights like once a month
Hi Pablo
Well, I can say that I’ve never been asked this question before! Lol…what a classic.
I have to ask you some questions first before I can provide any help: Why would you want to have a girlfriend who has physical fights with other women? Is she a “gang banger” or something? Is that the crowd you hang out with, or has she pulled you into that scene?
Cheers
Dan
No she is in high school, I am at college the problem is that as normal girls like to trash each other and she can’t handle it so she fights anyone who criticizes her, she does not control her emotions. What I did was teasing her by saying that for crismas I was gonna give her some boxing gloves then I treat her like a little girl and after she was In a good mood being all girly I told her in a relax but serious way that girls were always gonna criticizes her and that she should fine another way of dealing with it, then she ask me if I was telling her that she shouldn’t fight anymore, I told her that she should just understand that other girls are like that, she promes that she wasn’t gonna fight, then I star flirting to get her back into a femenine role, and when she was excited wanting more i told her that I have to go and finish the call. By the way this is a long distance I will see her in 3 weeks. 1 did I handle things ok by not acting like her dad, but by making her fell feminine ?
She ask me if I had a bad concept of her, and I told her that I love her and that I accept her how she is as long as she act femenine and respect me, which she does with me
Hi Pablo
Thanks for your comment.
This particular comment is getting fairly off-topic for this article, so let’s finish talking about it here.
Basically, it sounds like you’re doing a good job, but it also sounds like you’re just getting accustomed to “being the man” so you will likely make mistakes. Just remember my advice that I’ve provided in Better Than a Bad Boy for when you make a mistake or fail a test. As long as you follow that, everything will be fine and her attraction for you will not reduce.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
Great article as usual!
I am a college student and was struggling to break out of my shell. I read your book,”The Flow” last year and things have changed for me so much. I have been sleeping with various women on campus and have been giving a few tips to my friends also. Your book changed my outlook on myself and what is possible with women. I still have a way to go to get to your level and I am hoping I can afford more of your programs in future so I can learn the stuff I don’t yet know! Thanks for your help Dan.
Sincerely,
Alan
Hi Alan
Thanks for sharing your success so far. Much appreciated!
I’m glad to hear that you have been able to break out of your shell and get into bed with women. Enjoy the great times ahead!
Cheers
Dan
Damn….this is pure Gold!! This exactly what I needed!! Thanks Dan
Hello again Fofozaj
You’re welcome mate!
Cheers
Dan
Hello Dan, I’m also a college student and I know I’m missing out on so much. I just never approach and it’s a terrible feeling. I am usually fun and relax when I’m with friends. Its just I can’t seem to find the courage to approach and do what should come naturally. I have been however reading as much as I can to better myself and become the MAN I know I can be.
Since I have been reading so many other articles and joining so many other newsletters, I was wondering what really differentiates your program from others?
You have great material from what I’ve read so far, but I wanted to make sure that if I invest in this that I wouldn’t be giving up an opportunity to get someone else’s material. I would buy all if I could, but as I’ve said before being a college student who has to pay rent and other utilities I have to be wise in what I buy. Like I said before you have some great stuff.
I know I have what it takes to be a MAN that women find extremely attractive and desperately want. (gotta dream big haha) I just need that extra push to really show women that I am very fun, easy going yet full of passion, and unapologetically sexual. This can and will happen. I know it. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Lee
Hi Lee
Thanks for your question.
What differentiates us from other sites is that we actually have hot girlfriends, so we not only “talk the talk” but we “walk the walk.” Do a search in Google Images for the other “dating gurus” (e.g. David DeAngelo) providing advice on other sites and type in “girlfriend” into the search. You’ll see that most of them are frauds. They may TALK about attracting hot women, but they can’t actually do it in real life. Here are some photos of just SOME of the beautiful women I’ve hooked up with or had as girlfriends. If you follow the advice of people who aren’t actually good with women in REAL LIFE, then you’re not going to get the results you dream of. Our advice will get you the results you truly want. See: Customer success stories
Additionally, we always spend YEARS testing our advice out in our own lives and with new clients each weekend, before we even consider putting it into a product for the site. For instance, listen to this to learn what we went through to make the Dating Power program. By listening to that, you’ll also learn a lot about our style of advice and how it differs to others.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
I’m a female who stumbled across this article. I have nothing wrong with anything you’re saying here other than the par where you lead the girl on and don’t tell her that you’re dating other girls until she asks. That’s hiding and it’s not fair to the girl. I’ve dated multiple guys at the same time and with every single one of them I told them right off the bat that it wasn’t serious and that I was dating other guys and they were all fine with it and I think the honest approach is best because it avoids hurt feelings or misunderstandings. But that’s just my opinion.
Good article though,
Bahar
Hi Bahar
I used the e-mail address you provided when making a comment to search you on Facebook. Turns out you’re NOT a girl. Dude…not only do you think like a woman, but you are pretending to be a woman too? Issues…
Anyway, thanks for your opinion, but it’s a perfect example of why guys should NOT get dating advice from women or from guys who think like women. Why? Most women will not have sex with a guy if he tells her up front that he is sleeping with other women and doesn’t want anything serious. Why? She doesn’t want to seem like she okay with being used for sex. However, most guys will have sex with a woman no matter what she says.
Why are women different? Women are naturally wired to find a guy who will stay with them after sex. For most of human history, there was no child support, police, supermarkets, etc. Women had to rely on men to take care of them and provide for them. In the modern world, a woman can survive on her own, but she is still naturally wired to avoid having sex with men who will impregnate her and leave. It doesn’t matter that we now have condoms or the pill, the natural instinct is still there.
Start being a man or continue suffering the consequences that you’d likely be experiencing so far in your life (i.e. women aren’t very attracted to you and if you do manage to get yourself into a relationship, they lose interest in having sex with you pretty quickly).
Cheers
Dan
i would love very much just to be with one woman, instead of dating so many different women today. i had been married myself at the time, and i was a very loving and caring husband that was very committed to her. but when she cheated on me, that certainly stopped me from having a family. i hate going out as it is because there are so many loser women out there now, and most of them play very hard to get. it is very hard just to start a normal conversation with them, since they do not want to be bothered at all. women have become so very nasty over the years, and they are not like the ladies that we had years ago. i just seem to meet the low life loser ones instead of a good one. and yet they will go out with other men that will treat them like crap.
Hi Mark
Thanks for your message.
Women haven’t become “losers” these days. They have become stronger, mentally and emotionally and when they meet you, they feel stronger than you and thus cannot feel attraction for you. Watch the video on this page for more info.
Cheers
Dan
What’s sexual confidence? How does one express that? What are the mindsets bevind it?
Cheers,
Eland.
Hi Eland
Thanks for your question.
All of that is explained and demonstrated in Alpha Male Power.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
Been seeing a girl for 2-3 months, we are officially a couple, shes met my parents, told each other ‘I love you’ etc. However I don’t want to put all your products to waste so I’ve been approaching and chatting to girls. A really hot girl approached -me- a couple weeks ago and always hunts me down and talks to me at a particular super market, i got her number and i suggested we get some pub food and she agreed. I’m really torn about going out and doing this, I feel guilty. What should I do?
Hey Andrew
Thanks for your question.
Great to hear that you’ve found yourself a girlfriend by using the advice from our exclusive programs.
About your question: It really depends on your perception of her. Do you see her as a lifetime girlfriend or wife, or even a girlfriend you want to have in your life for the next 10 years? If you love her, but don’t see her as the only woman you’ll ever want, then you should be dating multiple women. If you get caught up in a relationship with a woman who you secretly don’t want for life and you happen to accidentally get her pregnant, she will be in your life for life…and will want child support payments if you split up.
Personally speaking, when I commit to a relationship, I don’t cheat on my girlfriend. I choose her and stick with her. If I decide that I don’t want to be with her after all, I break up with her. I’ve had to do that a few times over the last 7 years because the girlfriend wanted to marry me and start a family and I wasn’t ready for that, so I ended the relationship. With my current girlfriend, I will not cheat on her because I have now committed myself to the relationship. However, prior to meeting her, I was sleeping with about 3-4 new women a month while dating multiple women at the same time for about 1.5 years. It was a great time, but when you meet the right girl, it’s fine to stop and enjoy it.
It sounds like you’ve learnt from us here at The Modern Man, landed yourself a great girlfriend, but are wondering whether she is the right girl for you. Read: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/is_she_the_right_woman_for_you.html
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan, I have a question regarding girls that you date exclusively. In general, how often do you see, talk, go out with her over the period of say a week or a month? Thanks!
Hi Andrew
Thanks for your question.
The answer is: It depends. It depends on how much free time I have. Usually once a week, but often twice. It also depends on the type of woman. If she is cool-hearted and can chill out in my lounge room while I work on my computer and not keep coming in and interrupting me, I will let her come see me more often. If she’s a hot-hearted woman and always wants to have drama, action and interaction with me, then she will only be welcome for a few hours or I’ll get her to leave shortly after sex.
However, my current GF (who I am fully exclusive with) is with me every day. She just finished working at the hair salon she’s worked at for a while, because we’re about to move inter-state together. So, right now, she’s here 24/7. When we move to the new city, she will get a job again and I’ll see her when she comes home to me every evening. It all depends!
Cheers
Dan
Thanks Dan. This helps. I think one of my issues is that although I am getting better with woman, I feel the other aspects in my life that you speak about such as purpose and life goals, is severely lacking. Truth of the matter is, I’m scared of the world of business and competition. I have a fear of failure and a fear of success when it comes to business, (I don’t want to put other people out of business). Right now I’m almost 29 and have no path or goal, no real education, I don’t even have a job. I’ve been trying for a long time to find a career path and it’s hard to just sit around all day and think about woman. Would you consider creating a product that helps men with achieving goals in their life and the world of business? You touched on this a bit in better then a bad boy, but I was thinking more in terms of business and careers. It would be nice to see how an alpha male approaches his business life.
Hi Andrew
Thanks for your question.
About your suggestion about teaching others about business: Absolutely not! You are not a successful businessman and you are afraid of success. You are not qualified to be teaching others. That would be like me being afraid of approaching women and then teaching others how to be unafraid. That’s fraudulent my friend!
I got to the position of dating guru because I overcame my fears, became successful with women and then taught others for YEARS in bars, clubs and shopping malls. I approach women and demonstrate for clients – I don’t just talk about it. I’ve even proved my coaching skills on TV: http://www.themodernman.com/courses_seminars/weekend-bootcamps.html
You need to go back to the “Purpose Discovery” section in Better Than a Bad Boy and actually do it. Do the exercise I provide and come up with your true purpose.
In the meantime, stop being afraid of success. All successful people have had to make a LOT of mistakes to become successful. It is the strong-willed who overcome the obstacles who go on to be successful. The majority of people give up at the first or second sign of true challenge. I recommend you read:
http://www.themodernman.com/success/fear-of-life-in-the-modern-world.html
Cheers
Dan
Dan, I’m sort of stumped. I’m following your advice, realizing there’s no rush to find Mrs. Right. While, I’m exploring my purpose and trying to figure out a cut a dried, full set of standards of what I exactly want in a woman, I’m dating multiple women. Never really having had choice before, I didn’t have to say “I like this” or “I won’t tolerate that”. I’m really enjoying an easy success GETTING women. The side effects are throwing me for a bit of a loop though. I’ll explain.
Here is where I am today. My current ex girlfriend (my boss on paper) has gone cold again because my origional ex (the reason I bought the flow in the first place) drops by my job “looking” for me. My origional ex is known for such drama. She COMPETES when it comes to the mating dance. She once threatened to beat up the very Saavy girl I used to work out with in the gym one day. My origional ex called and texted throughout my last committed relationship making no bones about wanting me back. I mean I once stopped in the middle of sex with her to go see my Current Ex. My Origional Ex knew who I was going to see and she’s been serious about chasing me ever since. We are having sex regularly again.
The Saavy girl stopped working out with me once I committed to my Current Ex. Wouldn’t even talk to me. This is THE HOTTEST Girl at work (and also my Boss on paper). She got promoted. Lol. You were so right. She’s been waiting in the wings. She speaks to me. Is at least open. Hints about how we need “get back in the gym”. We never had sex because I didn’t understand her CONSTANT testing. She was scared my Origional Ex would beat her up and I chose my Current Ex over her. Priority One is escalating to sex with The Saavy Girl The Hottest Girl at Work.
Though, Priority One is taking a back seat to this Hot Nepali Chick I’ve gone out with a couple of times, escalated from hugs to kissing. Sex is just a matter of finding somewhere to do it. The problem is get father who she says will beat her if she leaves the house after dark. (She’s 21, like 20 years my junior). No problem. I just have to basically get her to lie and tell her father she has to work one day and do her at my house during the day.
Dan here’s where I’m stumped. I think I’m hurting people. I know I’ve hurt my Current Ex. I know my Origional Ex hurt me and when we hooked back up I hurt her. The Saavy girl acted like she was armor plated and nothing could hurt her. This was an act which crumbled when I committed to my Current Ex. The Nepali Hottie is horny and primed for sex. I’d hate to have to whoop her daddy.
Like you said in Better than a Bad Boy. Most guys are good guys. I’m a good guy. A lot of haters, particularly at work are calling me a “womanizer”. They are haters and I don’t care about that. If anything it’s social proof. Most women try to prove they are “immune to the player”, throw up a few tests. Get sidetracked by a few of my jokes and grins. I make a few statements ask a few questions and they are gaga. Lol.
I know that I’m supposed to make women feel a wide range of emotions. They should feel good around me. But they should feel insecure and jealous at times. I just feel like a cad sometimes.
I never had to think of this when I was getting lucky and didn’t have choice. My problem I guess is that I REMEMBER how painful it was when I was acting like a feminine man and women were hurting me. So I feel bad some. I know until I find a girl worthy of committing to I have to vett them and sleep with them and treat them casually. I think that’s the way an alpha male would or should think.
Hey Jason
Cool.
You are dating multiple women and can escalate to sex consistently. You also have women competing for you.
…but, now you kind of feel a little bit bad about that.
Feeling that way shows that you’re a good guy. However, you also need to remember (like you’ve pointed out in your comment) how bad you felt when you weren’t good with women and constantly got your heart broken. Someone will always get more hurt than the other in a romantic or sexual relationship. It happens all over the world to humans. It’s just the way human romantic/sexual relationships play out. The only difference is that you’re now the one who is in control and in demand.
I remember reaching this point. I had so many women calling, texting and coming to visit me that it was totally fine to tell all of them individually, “Hey, I don’t want anything serious.” (I explain this in Better Than a Bad Boy remember?) As long as you are honest, then you should not be worried about what anyone might think. Other people will simply feel jealous. Confused “nice guys” like that will think you are treating women badly because they think women should be the ones who have the power in the dating scene, but they will masturbate to porn and go without a real woman for most of their lives.
As long as you’re a good guy to people, honest with people and do the right thing, you can only feel good about yourself. The insecure jealously of other people should not make you think, “Oh no! I should stop being powerful…I should go without and be lonely and masturbate to porn like all these other guys.”
Interestingly, no-one looks down on me or says anything bad about me having lots of women. (I’ve stopped recently and have had a committed girlfriend for the last 5 months after years of multiple women at once). Sure, they might say something behind my back, but if I wasn’t successful with women, other people would say something behind my back too. You’ve just got to live your life, open yourself up to love with beautiful women, amazing friendships with friends, better connections with family and great experiences in all areas of life.
Cheers
Dan
P.S. I’m not going to stop getting hot chicks out of some sort of mixed up empathy lol. I just think that guys who aren’t good with women try to vilify your success. They are haters. To hell with them. There are so very few role models of how a real man should act towards women. I mean in my LIFE I’ve only known 2 people that actually approached women. Maybe 3. One was a drunk. But he was a natural who approached sober. He just happened to be a drunk. The third was a bad boy but he approached lol. The second was the only “normal” guy I ever consistently saw approach women.
So what I’m doing is going over your articles on role models because I feel like I’m in a transition. I can pick up women. I can escalate to sex consistently. (And that is a triumph I thank you for!). I just need to feel confortable in my new shoes.
Sorry about writing novels in your comments section. Thanks again for all your insights.
What’s up Dan?
Hope everything’s going excellent.
I’d like to hear your insight on the following situation:
I’ve been flirting with this girl that works in the same company I work part time as a computer programmer for about a month.
She already gave me her phone number and I’m 100% positive that she’s sexually interested in me. Today we even joked about having sex in the accounting room heh (I’m 22, she’s 26).
I know the next thing to do is to escalate (date-kiss-sex), but I have not taken the step for one reason: I’ve never had sex with a woman I would then have to see several days a week after that; even though I’m not looking for any serious relationship and she knows it.
I’d guess you must have gone through that situation (call it an “office affair” or whatever) several times (kudos dude). Although I know I wouldn’t get nervous or anything, I’d appreciate your advice on maintaining the right dynamic with her (and with a female coworker one has had sex with for that matter).
Thanks in advance and keep up the excellent work.
-Eduardo.
Hey Eduardo
Thanks for your question.
Great to hear that you’ve been enjoying success with women.
I have a lot of advice for this topic. However, it is still going through the final stages of testing with clients from all over the world. I will be ready to provide this advice in a program in about 6 months. I have been coaching clients and providing advice on this situation for a couple of years now, but I like to be thorough and test things long term before giving out advice on the site. I’ve also had a lot of personal experience with the topic when I was working in office environments.
So, for now, all I can say is: Be careful not to lose your job over it! Be honest with her about your intentions. If you don’t, you can expect trouble later.
Cheers
Dan
hy dan, you are the real man…i have this hot female neighbour of mine she is older than me,she is 23and am 19..pls how do i aproach her since i stay with my parents and siblings? I even hide to watch her take her bath am going crazy pls help me
Hi ihemevictor
Thanks for your question.
Hiding to watch her take a bath? Dude, that’s not cool! 🙂 Don’t get into the habit of being that type of person. You will head down the wrong path in life.
You need to walk up to her and go through The Flow process, which will end up with you and her having a sexual relationship: http://store.themodernman.com/in/58e9e6c
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
So far I love your products I’ve purchased. Like you’ve said a million times, your coaching is based on us developing and improving ourselves as people and as men, breaking through in life and contributing to the world, vs sleazy “tactics” and lines and dishonesty. And that’s what really grabbed my interest. The flow and dating power were really eye opening, and now it feels like common sense after learning it, but until that happens in life we don’t know what we don’t know right?
I take college classes in a major city nearby where I live, and I’m trying to approach meeting girls there like you guys talk about in 21 Great Ways, with taking it slower than you might otherwise with girls in your classes, because we’ll be stuck together the next 3 months if it doesn’t go well… so finding opportunities to strike up conversation before class and on breaks, be cool and relaxed, make jokes, tease the girls I like a little…
There’s one class in particular that meets in evening once a week, and there’s a girl there who I thought was pretty cute, so when she walked by me on a break back to class I said “Hey, so what’s going on with you?” in a friendly, casual manner. She stopped, slowly turned to look at me in a kind of “Why are you talking to me?” way, and said, “Do I know you?” So I gave her a cocked eyebrow and playful smile, and a look like, “Really? You’re gonna be like that?” So she’s like, “Oh are you in my class?” Me: “yeah.” Her: “Oh, you’re from the other night in the elevator?” (Last class as several of us went down the elevator to leave for the night, I made some kind of fun, upbeat comment about the class and told everyone in there to have a good night, and I could tell she was attracted to my confident, outgoing personality by her smile there… For that matter another girl a different night recently asked me on an “on the spot date” to go grab coffee with her on a break, just from me making fun conversation with people on the elevator, but she wasn’t my type, so I just went along for the fun and was nice and friendly to her, so I could practice step 1-3 of the flow… who knew the elevator could be such a great tool for picking up girls!). So from there she hurried over to stand next to me and we had a fun, energetic conversation, with me teasing her a bit and her smiling and laughing a lot. So from there I kept occasionally talking with her the next couple weeks, developing more friendly connection over time, trying to occasionally inject playful or teasing jabs where I can.
So the other night we ended up both waiting for the train after class together – we both live outside the city, like a 45 minute or so train ride, in towns that are about 15 minutes apart in the same direction out along the same train line. So we stood together and had some good conversation for the whole train ride, building more connection, talking about small talk stuff like food to some of our life goals and interests – until it was time for her to get off and we said goodnight.
So I have a few questions on this situation: One, I know I shouldn’t come across too keen or stalkerish, and should vary my attention and talk to other people in the class (which I’ve been doing), but I’m wondering now at this point if it would be weirder to basically assume to ride the train together out pretty much every week (cuz same train line, which only comes by about every 20 minutes, so hard not to be on the exact same train most nights), or weirder to avoid riding the train together some nights (I don’t know, like rush out of class quickly without saying goodbye and go stand on the furthest away pickup platform). My instinct tells me to roll with assuming we’ll ride together most nights cuz it’d be weird to try to avoid her (and no one else rides out from our class, most people live in the city), but to make some kind of joke about it at the end of next class like “So I bet you want to ride out with me again huh?… It’s cool, nobody can blame you for wanting to talk to such a cool, interesting guy, makes the time pass a lot quicker… Just don’t take this as an invitation to start stalking me if we head out together all the time…” or something like that… (figure out what feels most natural and funny to say in the moment)
Second, she seems like a cool girl so far, has a kind of soft, pretty look and demeanor about her, seems like a pretty “good girl”, family-oriented, has ambitions in life, hard-working… but I’m trying to avoid getting into a serious relationship, since I got out of a long one a few months ago. I’m feeling like the timing may be right in another week or two to say “Hey, how about we grab something to eat after class, there’s this place that has a great late night happy hour off my train stop, we could chill for a bit, have some more laughs. We won’t stay out too late since we both have to work early tomorrow”, or whatever I come up with. So if I end up dating her mid-semester, and I’m seeing other girls at the same time, I feel like it could get messy like you guys warn about in 21 Ways from escalating too soon in a class, if she starts asking about being serious or not, if I’m seeing other people (I’m not yet, but I’m trying to get there… pushing myself to be more and more social everywhere, talk to girls at bars when I get time to go out, which I’m still struggling to start and keep conversations interesting in that environment, so need to keep working on)… and if she’s not cool with that, it could be an awkward rest of the semester. But I don’t want to hide away from getting what I want either and put things off too long and miss out on opportunities.
Third, despite all those things I just said about what I like about her, there’s one other girl in the class who is absolutely stunningly hot, in every sense – her body, her face, hair, her stylish way of dressing… She doesn’t sit quite next to me (everyone sits in the same approximate spot every class) and leaves the building every break, so I haven’t found an opportunity to interact with her yet. But I feel like she might have some attraction for me, because I’ve established myself as a really fun, laid back, confident, outgoing and cool guy in the class, who gets some laughs every now and then from the class with little comments I make, or the expressions and body language I use when the teacher “picks on me” (he often uses students as examples for ridiculous hypothetical situations in his lecture in a fun, entertaining way). So I’ve seen her looking and smiling at me sometimes, and get the vibe she’d like to find an opportunity to talk to me, might be trying to get my attention. So aside from figuring out how to get an opportunity for interaction so I can flirt and connect with her, the bigger question is the obvious. If I can start interacting with her and we do end up liking each other, how could I approach this to maybe get to date both of them at some point, without royally effing the whole thing up with both of them and then neither wanting to date me (or both of them hating me with still a month or two of class left)? Some of my thoughts have been: I could talk and flirt with both of them whenever there’s opportunity, and if I start dating one, I could simply try to keep the spark with the other til the end of the semester, and go for the number on the class before the final… or maybe try become facebook friends and have just a somewhat flirty friendship til end of semester. Another thought was: You’re too new to try advanced stuff like this, you can’t get everything you want, just take what you can get. And that latter thought feels contrary to the whole mindset and approach to life I’m trying to build and that I think you guys teach, but I still need to be practical and smart (and I don’t want to feel pressure to lie about anything to any girl either).
[Sorry about the essay, didn’t expect this to be so long, wanted to give you a sense of what my mindset and approach has been in this, to better address my questions. I understand if you say, “Dude, at least break up your comments into more manageable chunks over time”, or “Come on, you know I’m a busy guy, what’s the deal with this?!” Hoping maybe since I’ve been such a GREAT customer, invested in a lot of your products (which I’m happy to add to your success for the value you contribute to us guys), you can hook a bro up? 🙂 If nothing else there may be some examples in my “essay” of your guys’ teachings working, to add credibility for potential customers…?]
Thanks man
Hey ZQ
Phew! That was an essay alright. Note to commenters: Please try to keep it brief! 🙂
However, since you’re such a great customer ZQ, I’m happy to help out. Okay, let’s see:
1. The things you’re planning to say to her: Less words. Don’t try to get too clever. Just BE the confident, cool guy for real, rather than pretending to be the confident, cool guy. How? Realize that you already ARE that guy.
2. Girls don’t hate guys who are wanted by many women. It’s the opposite. So, it’s no problem sleeping with both of them.
3. You may not yet be experienced enough to pull off a double pick up though. If so, I’d recommend just choosing the girl you want and getting that done first. After that, you might find yourself in a relationship or you might want the other girl next.
Above all: Believe in yourself ZQ. Confidence in yourself (the whole way through the pick up process) is the key. Make sure are using the Confidence Building System we teach in Dating Power; it’s so important in the journey towards total success with women.
Enjoy the great times ahead!
Cheers
Dan
Hey, I’m a woman, but I date multiple guys and follow much the same rules. Anyway, I have an old friend (we’ve known each other for about fifteen years) who seems to be interested. I’m a little conflicted if I should add him to the mix, but then, he’s gotta know I’m a player, right?
Hey Rachel
Thanks for your question.
You can never assume that other people understand you. If your friend is the sort of guy who normally isn’t very good at approaching, attracting and picking up women and has relied on “getting lucky” his entire life, then he is probably not going to be very good at reading between the lines about your intentions with him.
Just tell him that you’re not looking for anything serious, but want to have some fun together for a while. If he’s not the clingy, needy type and is instead a confident, alpha male who can pick up other women, then he will be happy with that arrangement. If he is the clingy type, he will be happy to get laid, but will likely get clingy if you see him too often and make him feel as though you want something more serious.
Cheers
Dan
Dan, way to keep it classy and confident! Loads of great advice mate. in fact I need your knowledge bestowed upon me. I am well versed in dating multiple woman at once. However I have recently ran into a challenge. I started a new position at company, that just so happens to be mostly woman. We only have 80 people in my office, and 90% are females. There are a few older out-of-shape married men, and then the rest are gay, or are taken. I am literally the youngest guy there. I am successful, well dressed and confident and the girls eat me up. The directors, and executive women are very forward. The tell me how nice my butt looks, how handsome I am, what they would do to me had they been 10 years younger, how I am probably not interested in older women anyways, or I probably have too many girls. We are at a startup so the atmosphere is very open and laid back.
My problem is I have gone out with a few of these women, but have refrained from sex or anything other than drinks. But a man can only hold out for so long when women are literally clawing at the door to get at me; I know this sounds pompous and cocky, which is unlike me, but I seemed to have hit the jackpot here and these mature career girls are after me, and I have my pick.
How should I handle this without causing workplace chaos? Girls can be vicious with each other, and as soon as one catches wind that I slept with the other. I can see my whole world of womanly attention crashing down around me. My appetite is strong and nothing is sexier than a woman who knows what she wants and knows how to get it. I don’t know how long I can last! But I must admit I am worried that I could cause problems with my career and my success. What to do man? What to do?
Cheers
Hey Ciaran
Cool, nice to meet a fellow ladies man. You sound like you’ve got a lot of natural skill when it comes to women. (For others reading along, check this out for more info about the different skill levels that a guy can have with wmen: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/what-is-your-skill-level-with-women.html).
About your question: Man, there’s no way to be 100% sure that you it won’t cause any problems! 😀 The best approach is to simply say that you’re not looking for a girlfriend at the moment, but you are open to seeing each other sometimes. In that moment, she might reject the proposal to save face, but if she is very attracted to you, she will come at you again and will go for it.
Right before you have sex, make her promise (don’t be too serious about it, but at least have the conversation) that it’s not going to get serious. However, even with that precaution in place, how messy it becomes really depends on the girl. I’ve had many women who were completely fine with it and many who said they were fine, only to then come crying and begging weeks later, “Why won’t you let me be your girlfriend?!” and all that stuff. I’ve had women wine and dine me, cook amazing dinners, buy me stuff, etc and then say, “What do I have to do to make you want me as a girlfriend?” I’ve even had women literally say, “I will do anything you want. Just tell me.” But, I stick to my guns and just say, “Hey, I’m not looking for anything serious.”
It’s a tough spot that you’re in, but the best approach is to be straight up about your intentions and get her to promise you that she knows it’s not going to turn into a serious relationship or marriage. When dealing with the women who couldn’t handle it, I was always able to say, “Hey – I told you that I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend. You know that I love you, but I’m just not interested in being in a relationship right now.” Yes, it gets messy, but boy is it fun. Sometimes, a woman crying before sex and then squirting during sex really is a gift to her. It’s so much emotion, pain and pleasure all wrapped up into a loving, sexual experience.
I did all of my playing outside of the workplace though. When I first developed the skills that I now teach here at The Modern Man, I got promoted 3 times within 6 months in the office. Girls were hitting on me left, right and centre when that happened, but I didn’t go for it because I had been promoted through the leadership ranks to 2nd in command of the Australian headquarters for a massive American company. I didn’t want to mess it up, so I just stuck to sleeping with women I met outside of work.
Good luck with your decision Ciaran! Feel free to come back and share more of the story as it evolves!
Cheers
Dan