Women place much less importance on a guy’s shoes if he is able to attract her in other ways.
For example: If a guy is confident, charismatic and interesting to talk to, a woman isn’t going to reject him because his shoes aren’t an expensive brand.
On the other hand, if a guy is nervous and puts on a fake persona (e.g. acts like a much nicer guy than he is, therefore suppressing his natural charisma and authentic personality) and isn’t interesting to talk to, a woman will start to look for reasons why she doesn’t like him.
Interestingly enough, he could be wearing the best, most expensive shoes and the woman still wouldn’t like him. Why? Simple: She isn’t feeling attracted to his personality and therefore looks at the rest of him in a negative light.
However, when a woman does feel attracted to a guy’s personality and confidence, she then looks at the rest of him in a more positive light.
Watch this video to understand how a woman’s attraction works for a man and how you can make her want you, even if you’re not wearing great shoes when you meet her…
As you will discover from the video above, the majority of women are much more attracted to a guy’s inner qualities and place less importance on superficial things like looks or fashion sense.
Some women do place a lot of importance on a guy’s fashion sense and appearance, but those women are the minority. Most women are much more flexible about what they find attractive in a guy than most men will ever realize.
Trying to Attract Women With Superficial Traits
When a guy doesn’t know how to attract women with his inner qualities (e.g. confidence, charisma, social intelligence, masculinity, etc), he will often come to the conclusion that his outer qualities (e.g. looks, fashion sense, money, etc) are not good enough for women.
He may ask himself questions like:
- Do women judge men on their looks?
- Do women care what cologne a guy is wearing?
- Are women interested in money and power?
- Do women look at men’s shoes?
The answer to the above questions is both yes and no.
There is a commonly used cliché that sums it all up, because it is both true and false at the same time. Let me explain; the cliché I’m talking about is: “It’s not what you look like, but what’s inside that counts.”
Why is this both true and false?
The truth is that everything about you matters, including your outward appearance and even your shoes, but it is the whole person that a woman looks at when she is determining whether she wants to get to know a guy or not.
In the end, what’s inside (i.e. the guy’s personality, confidence and outlook on life) is what counts the most. If a woman meets a guy who is wearing “bad shoes,” but he also happens to be confident, masculine and gets along well with her and others, she will overlook the shoes and focus on his other attractive qualities.
She will see his lack of fashion expertize as being cute and will secretly plan to convince him to buy better shoes after she’s had sex with him or officially becomes his girlfriend.
Don’t Listen to Gay Men: They Are Looking at Things From Another Perspective
These days, there are so many gay men on TV that many guys get negatively influenced by them.
I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with gay guys, but if you want to be successful with women, don’t listen to their advice about what is attractive to women. By listening to the fashion advice of a gay guy, you will end up thinking like him and worrying too much about your appearance.
A gay guy likes acting like a girl and spending loads of time (and money) on his outward appearance because that’s what he uses to attract other gay men.
Straight men know that the most attractive thing to women is a man’s confidence and masculinity (i.e. how he thinks, behaves and takes action in life and around her).
There’s nothing wrong with presenting yourself well by wearing good clothes or shoes, but the men that I’m friends with don’t worry about their appearance like a girl (or a gay guy) and they are ridiculously successful with women. They never feel nervous, insecure or unworthy of a beautiful woman if they’re not wearing amazing shoes.
They simply focus on making the woman feel attracted to their confidence, masculinity, charisma and charm and then they have sex with her. I’ve never heard one of them obsess over shoes, but they wear decent shoes.
Honestly, I don’t know what brand of shoes they wear, how much they cost, etc, because I’ve never bothered to pay enough attention to that to ask. It really isn’t that important.
If you listen to the gay “makeover” presenters on TV, they will tell you that a man should wear a certain color shirt to be considered sexy. Often, in their gay style of thinking, they’ll even say, “It takes a real man to wear pink.”
For the record: You don’t have to wear any type of thing to be a real man. Being a real men is about who you are on the inside.
Gay guys will also tell you that you “need” to wear a certain type of cologne and should have x amount of shoes because women won’t like you if you only have 3 pairs of shoes. Yet, shoes are not the answer to success with women. It’s silly to think they are.
A guy can wear all the “latest fashions” in shoes, but still be single and unattractive to women because he lacks confidence in himself. At the same time, a can be guy wearing a pair of well worn trainers, or even beach thongs, and he will be able to pick up a beautiful woman.
Although women will consider everything about a man, they are attracted to a lot more than a man’s shoes or outward appearance. Heck, I’ve slept with more than 250 women and many of the times I was wearing runners/trainers or beach thongs.
Women like me because I’m confident and masculine in my behavior, vibe and in the actions I take. Of course, that doesn’t mean I dress like a slob or don’t care at all about how I present myself. I make sure that I present myself fairly well and then attract the woman with my personality and then have sex with her.
These days, a lot of men have been brainwashed by the media into thinking that they need to look neat, clean, fresh, young and fashionable to attract women. It’s a load of crap.
Watch this video to understand the real reason why guys get rejected by women, even if they have amazing shoes…
As you will discover from the video above, a guy can make up all the excuses he wants (e.g. “Women only want guys with nice shoes” or “Women only want tall guys” etc), but the real reason why he is getting rejected is that he doesn’t even know how to attract women with his personality and confidence.
He’s trying to get women to like him enough based on his outer qualities. Yes, that does work for some women (usually unattractive or drunk women), but the majority of women place more important on a guy’s inner qualities than anything else about him.
What Qualities About a Guy Will Turn a Woman Off?
At the end of the day, a woman will either be attracted to you because you display certain personality traits and behaviors around her, or she will be turned off because you don’t.
No matter how good you look on the outside, if you are lacking on the inside, you will not be able to make a woman feel a lasting attraction for you. You can wear the nicest shoes in the world, but if you lack confidence or behave in other unattractive ways, then she won’t feel sexual attraction for you and thus won’t care what shoes you are wearing.
Some of the male qualities that women turn women off are:
1. A lack of confidence
A guy who lacks confidence in his attractiveness to women will come across as being insecure and weak (mentally and emotionally) to women.
When he tries to approach a woman, his insecurity will manifest itself as nervous behavior, which is a big turn off for women.
Unless she is unattractive or desperate, a woman won’t want to waste her time with an insecure guy who doesn’t believe he’s good enough for her, or have to endure an annoying relationship with a guy who needs her to “baby him” or “mother him” all the time to make him feel confident.
2. A lack of self-esteem
A man who has a low impression of himself (e.g. thinks he’s not cool enough to hang out with the cool crowd, thinks he’s not good enough to get promoted at work or to succeed in business, etc) is not attractive to women.
No woman wants to be with a guy who constantly needs to be convinced of his own worth and potential, or who feels threatened if she has a friendly conversation with another guy.
3. A lack of social intelligence
A guy who lacks social intelligence won’t be able to get along with confident, cool people or handle the tests (e.g. playing hard to get) that attractive women put him through. He will feel like an outsider around cool, confident people and will find it difficult to get or maintain the respect of alpha males.
Why is that a turn off for women?
For most of human history, food and resources were scarce and a man had to have the social intelligence to maintain friendships and respect of people who could help out if he and his woman needed it.
Today, it is difficult for a man to survive, thrive and prosper in our competitive, modern world. We might have supermarkets, police and governments who are willing to support those in need, but a woman’s instinct of being attracted to a guy who has social intelligence has not gone away.
As you may have noticed, human beings are often just a hurricane away from being forced back into basic survival. A woman’s attraction for a man is directly linked to his survival traits and social intelligence is one of them.
Here are some examples of how a guy demonstrates a lack of social intelligence when talking to a woman…
4. Being mentally or emotionally weaker than her
A woman wants to feel that she is with a man who is mentally and emotionally strong enough to support her. If a guy is easily influenced by the opinions of others and cannot stand up for himself and what he believes in, he comes across as being weak.
If a man is mentally and emotionally weak (e.g. insecure, very sensitive, flimsy-minded, undetermined, etc), it means that the woman will have to pick up the slack and behave as the dominant one in the relationship.
She will often have to lead the way, be the strong one and stand up for both him and her when times get tough or when they are being challenged by other people. Women do not find this appealing in the least because it forces a woman into thinking, feeling, behaving and acting like a man.
Some women may accept a weak man (i.e. because she is desperate, wants to get over an ex, needs someone to pay half the bills, is unattractive, etc), but it doesn’t mean that she will ever love him as much as should love a confident, masculine man.
5. Being too serious when interacting with her
Some guys treat their interactions with women in a formal, business-like manner, rather than being light-hearted and down to Earth.
They stick to polite conversation, avoid flirting at all costs and basically behave like a concerned friend or an innocent nice guy who pretends as though he doesn’t want to have sex with her and just wants to be her friend. Aww, how sweet.
When a guy can’t get a woman to relax and open up to him during a conversation, she isn’t going to be “won over” by the shoes he is wearing.
6. A lack of ambition and drive
A man without goals, who is not a forward thinker and has no plans for the future, is a big turn off for almost all women (except for desperate, unattractive or insecure women who want a broken man).
A typical, normal woman wants to be with a man who has the potential to look after her and her offspring if the relationship gets to that stage. However, don’t go thinking that you should tell a woman all your plans and goals when you meet her. Women aren’t attracted to men who try to impress them by saying how good they are.
If a woman asks you about yourself, show passion in what you are aiming to achieve in life, but don’t think that it will be the number one thing that makes her want to have sex with you.
If she gets the sense that you’re trying to impress her by talking about your goals and are hoping that it tricks her into liking you, she will realize that you don’t feel like you’re good enough for her.
If a woman is attractive, she wants to sense that you know that you are more than good enough for her, without you having rub it in her face by bragging, showing off, etc.
Watch this video to understand why attractive women want a guy who knows that he is more than good enough for her…
As you will discover by watching the video above, attractive women are bored of the approach that most guys use on them.
If you want to stand out from the crowd, you’ve got to make her feel attracted to you and then only give her a chance to be with you if she plays her cards right.
7. Being way too concerned about his appearance
Some guys are so concerned about their outward appearance (e.g. the car they drive, the clothes and shoes they wear or the places they hang out at), that they lack real substance and have nothing more than face value to offer a woman. A woman may find his outward appearance appealing at first, but if he cannot back it up with other qualities she will not be interested in the guy for very long.
Shoes Are Not the Secret to Success With Women
There’s nothing wrong with wearing good clothes or shoes, but don’t ever think that it is the secret to success with women.
The more you worry about your appearance, the more will think and behave like a girl (or a gay guy). Although many women love having gay friends these days, it doesn’t mean they want to sleep with them.
My recommendation is to wear the appropriate shoes for whatever environment you’re in, but don’t worry about it any more than that.
Personally speaking, I approach fashion like this: I get good clothes and shoes that suit my lifestyle and that are fashionable and then I stop thinking about it.
My sexy girlfriend (who loves wearing sexy and “racy” looking fashion), loves the fact that I make myself look presentable, but that I don’t really care about it any more than that.
I can go out to a nightclub with her and I will be 100% confident and at ease wearing smart casual clothes, even though she is dressed in sexy, revealing clothes. It really doesn’t matter and I know it.
Being the Man That Women Want
Ultimately, getting a woman to feel attracted for you is about displaying the personality traits and behaviors that naturally attract women.
If you also happen to wear nice shoes, then good for you, but hopefully after reading this article, you have realized that shoes aren’t the most important thing that a guy needs to have to be successful with women.
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Question: A few months ago, I met a much younger woman at the doctor’s office lobby. I over heard her talking to her friend that, ‘My ‘baby’s father is more childish than his 4 month old son.’ All the while, I turned to notice that she was staring straight at me, the whole time she was talking. I walked over, started talking to her, eventually got her number. She actually called me first, left a message; as I was really busy that day at work that particular day. When I got off work, I called her back, texted her, & eventually got a date set up for me to come over to her place that evening. She asked me to text her around 6, as she had to put her baby to sleep around that time. So I did text her, & said ‘How does 8 o’clock work for you? She texted back ‘That sounds great.” OK, obviously my next text was, ‘What ‘s your address.” No response. Texted her back, 45 minutes later ( 1/2 hour before our meet up), no respose. I waited for another 40 minutes, then I gave up. Blown off, led on, whatever you wasnt to call it. What didI do wrong?
Hey Todd
Thanks for your question.
Maybe her baby woke up? Maybe her baby daddy came over? Maybe she wasn’t feeling up to it and was feeling fat that day?
When it comes to dating women, don’t expect things from go to A-Z without any hiccups along the way. Sometimes it is that easy, but usually there are obstacles to overcome along the way.
Just call her up (don’t text), have a fun chat and then arrange a time to catch up. Use the Caller Guessing Technique from Dating Power: http://www.themodernman.com/what_to_say_when_you_call.html
Cheers
Dan