There’s nothing wrong with showing your interest in a woman when you first meet her or being madly in love with her in a relationship, but there is a problem when your love and affection becomes warped by neediness.
Needy (adj): Wanting or needing affection, attention, or reassurance, especially to an excessive degree.
Needy love is unattractive to women because women are attracted to the emotional strength and security of men and turned off by the weakness. A woman wants to feel like you want her, but don’t need her.
The more neediness and insecurity you display to a woman, the quicker she loses respect and attraction for you. When a woman loses respect and attraction for a guy, she then begins to fall out of love with him and question why she is with him at all.
Being Needy is the Opposite of Being the Challenge That Women Want
If a woman is attractive, most guys in this world would be willing to stick their dick in her at least once just because she looks good. Many of those guys would also be willing to have a relationship with her, just because she looks good.
As a woman grows up and realizes that she has this pussy power over men, she begins to feel less and less excited about guys who are so easily impressed by her. Eventually, she begins to wish that she could find a guy who is more of a challenge…
A needy guy rarely, if ever, offers any type of challenge to an attractive. He is impressed and wants to be with her because she is probably the only pretty woman who has shown him any interest in months, or even years.
In all the excitement, he fails to realize that she isn’t looking to score another needy guy who can’t attract other women. She’s hoping to meet a guy who can make her feel some exciting attraction by being a bit of a challenge to seduce.
He doesn’t realize that beautiful women don’t want to feel like they’re doing him a favor by giving him a “chance” to be with them. Instead, a woman wants to find a guy who makes her feel like she is lucky to be getting a chance with him.
Neediness is a Major Turn Off Because it’s a Clear Sign That You Lack Confidence With Women
Some guys can’t stop themselves from being needy of their woman because secretly, they know that it’s difficult for them to attract other women.
If a guy becomes needy in a relationship, he will almost always be the type of guy who “got lucky” and met a girl who gave him a chance, even though he didn’t make her feel much attraction initially.
Maybe she was bored and wanted to have sex with a new guy for a while, or wanted to use the needy guy’s desperation for her to make herself feel better after being dumped by a guy who she couldn’t get to commit.
Whatever the case, when she begins to pull back her interest even slightly, a needy guy will react by wanting and needing more of her time, affection and reassurance that she loves him and wants to be with only him.
In his mind, he thinks that if he can just show her how much she means to him, she will realize that she’s lucky to have a guy who loves her so much. Yet, it doesn’t work. Why?
A woman wants to be with a guy that she can respect and feel attracted to. Neediness and insecurity is the opposite of what attracts women and maintains their respect.
“Why Does He Keep Messaging Me? Give Me Some Time to Miss You…”
One of the greatest gifts that you can give to a woman is the chance to miss you.
Needy guys can’t give that gift to women because because without her, they feel lost, lonely, insecure and in some cases, depressed.
When a needy guy meets a woman who actually seems as though she likes him, he’ll usually panic and urgently try to “lock her down” into a relationship before another guy comes along. “Quick, quick, quick! I’ve got to secure this! I will never find another woman like her!”
What he doesn’t realize is that, these days, most women want to take a guy for a “test drive” first and see how they feel about a relationship after that. He doesn’t realize that most people have sex on the first night, first date or at the latest, second date and then take it from there.
If he’s the typical needy guy, he comes on way too strong with a relationship vibe and essentially tries to get a girl to commit to a relationship before kissing and sex.
That was fine 120 years ago, but not today.
In the past, women needed to save their virginity for marriage and then stick by that man for life, which is where the old “Till death do us part” saying comes in.
These days, women can have sex with whoever they want and settle down whenever they want. Just because a woman dates a guy, kisses him or has sex with him, she isn’t obliged to then get into a serious relationship with him.
Likewise, just because a woman gets into a relationship with a guy, she is no longer obliged to stay with him for life. These days, a woman will only stay with a man for life if he knows how to deepen her love, respect and attraction over time.
Watch this video for more info…
It’s totally possible to stay in a relationship or marriage for life and be truly happy and in love with each other.
You’ve got to do it right though.
If you do it wrong (e.g. you become insecure, jealous, start arguments all the time, can’t handle her tests of your confidence, ruin her attraction for you), then it’s only natural that you will most likely be another break up or divorce victim.
You don’t have to go through all the horrible pain and frustration of losing your woman. You can keep a woman for life, but you’ve got to do it right.
If you are needy or become needy in a relationship, you will never be able to enjoy true, lasting success with women.
Some Women Use Needy Guys as a Self-Esteem Booster
If a woman doesn’t reject or dump a needy guy right away, she will often pretend that she is interested and use his desperation for her as a self-esteem boost until she meets a guy who actually makes her feel respect and attraction.
When she is leading him on, she will say things like, “I don’t want to ruin our friendship” or “I’m not ready for a relationship right now” or “I like you, but I need time.”
Then, when he finds out that she has started dating or having sex with another guy (e.g. she posts up photos on Facebook, or even changes her status to “In a Relationship”) he feels betrayed and even angry at her.
How could she do such a thing? Simple: She never felt attracted to him. She was just using him to make herself feel more confident when she interacted with a guy who she was actually attracted to.
Often, women like that will tell a guy that they are attracted to about all the other guys who like her. She will try to show the guy that she likes that she is in demand and hopefully it will make him feel like he needs to secure her into a relationship.
Crazy mind games, eh?
Well, that is what happens when you don’t know how to attract women and are hoping that women will “give you a chance” because you’re such a good guy.
When a needy guy gets dumped by a woman he really likes (often before they’ve even had sex), he will start looking for reasons why. Yet, because he doesn’t even know how to attract women, he will assume that he isn’t good looking enough, rich enough, tall enough, etc.
He might begin lifting weights at the gym and buy new clothes in an attempt to improve his appearance in the hope that she “notices” him. Yet, what the woman was turned off by was his neediness; not his appearance.
As a female friend of mine said recently, “Anxiety makes a guy look ugly. Confidence makes him look sexy.”
That’s the truth about attraction. If you’re not confident, you don’t look good to women. It’s that simple. You can have all the muscles in the world but, if you lack confidence and are needy for attention, love or affection, women will not find you attractive.
No matter how hard you try, you can’t hide your lack of confidence or desperation from women. Why? It comes through via your body language, tonality, conversation and actions.
If a woman wants to find out whether or not you are needy, all she has to do is show you some interest, seduce you by acting like she is interested in a sexual way and then pull back her interest.
If you laugh at her and let her go, you’re not needy and she will be excited to have finally found a guy who wants her, but doesn’t need her. However, if you panic and come across in a way where she can tell that you’re worried about losing your opportunity with her, she will rapidly begin to lose interest.
It may sound like a lot annoying mind games, but women do that because it is so EASY for them to get laid. If a woman is attractive, pretty every guy would bang her. That isn’t exciting for her.
She wants a guy who could easily have other women, but will choose her if she impresses him enough. Meeting a guy like that is as rare as us men meeting a woman who is a 10/10. It only happens once in a blue moon and when it does, boy does it get your attention…
Want to Know the SECRET to Success With Women?
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Hi Dan,thnx u for ur advice u always give us. But I w’d like to assist me and get my x back to me coz I tried but failed.
Hi Elly
You’re welcome mate.
Getting your ex-girlfriend back is a complex topic to teach because most of it has to to with you making BIG changes in how you think, behave and act around your ex-girlfriend and other women. I’d recommend you start by reading these articles:
Can You Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back?
My Girlfriend Said She Needs Space
Coping With a Break Up…When You’ve Been Dumped!
Is She Still in Love With You?
7 Reasons Why Women Lose Respect For Men
Should Men Do Housework?
Will My Relationship Last?
Why Am I Always Arguing With My Girlfriend?
How to Get the Spark Back in a Relationship
My Wife Doesn’t Want Sex
Who Should Wear the Pants in a Relationship?
Cheers
Dan
It surprises me how hard it is changing from who most of us currently are to who we are meant to be, a man! Where have men of this generation gone so horribly wrong Dan? Surely men never had this trouble in the past?
Hi Josh
Thanks for your question.
In the past, a boy was usually raised around his father, uncles, grandfathers and other men. Lots of male influence and opportunities to learn. Modern men are often taught by female teachers, they are bombarded with politically correct messages on TV and are brainwashed by advertising. Nivea, for example, runs advertisements telling us men that we need to use their moisturiser to look all fresh and young for women. It’s crazy! Women don’t give a damn about that sort of stuff when it comes to men. It is women who need to look young, fresh and radiant for us. We men need to be confident, masculine men…not pretty boys with pink shirts, moisturiser and six pack abs.
With modern life, you have to CHOOSE who you learn from. If you try to learn from TV shows, advertisements and movies, you will end up a sorry, insecure man. I’ve never admitted this anywhere else on the site, but at one stage (when I was hopeless with women and the whole “Metrosexual” trend was running rampant) I actually plucked my eyebrows a bit and put on fake tanning lotion. Lol…true story. The best part? Women still didn’t like me! Lol…ohh, how glad I am to leave all that nonsense behind.
Cheers
Dan
It’s like as if life, reality, society, culture, has all of these rules, standards, expectations as to what seperates “boys from men”, but not for what seperates “girls from women”, or it’s just that guys, men have to be raised, brought up, socially conditioned a certain way in order to be a real “Man”, to be masculine, manly, but all a woman needs to have is just a vagina and she is already instantly accepted as being a real “woman”, meanwhile having a penis is not enough in order for a guy to be a real Man.
It’s like guys need to have a right of passage session, training to transition from boyhood to manhood, but the only thing that transitions women from girlhood to womanhood, is just having a vagina, going through puberty.
The long and short of it, is because you always hear life, reality, society, culture, always say to guys, men, “grow a pair, grow some balls, be a man, man up”, but you never hear people say to women “woman up, be a woman”, I don’t think there is a female equivalent to grow a pair, grow some balls.
Hey Andrew
Yes, that’s life.
Women need to be pretty and men need to be strong (mentally and emotionally). Accept it, live it and life will become very easy for you. Go with nature rather than trying to fight against it. There are reasons why things are the way they are (e.g. http://www.themodernman.com/relationship/why-do-women-want-to-feel-protected-by-their-man.html).
Cheers
Dan
I have a question about this,
I meet this beautiful women off a dating website,i really like 10/10, the third date I spent at her place,last tue night, we watched movies,till really late,was first time,holding each other,hugging and kissing from sofa to her bed (no sex),She said she had a big day at work in the morning,so i slept woke up went to work.
I asked her if she was seeing anyone, she said has not had the time, past 4 weeks busy with a family wedding,we hugged kissed good bye
I asked her ,when I would see her again, she said Monday
I have not heard from her since, I ain’t call her too..
I texted her a day after…to say…’how’s your day going” and so on,
She responded shortly after with the “hey you!” (What does that mean? Please help me) and detailed her day at work, i responded and left it there.
She has a corporate job and lives a busy lifestyle, so I am scared to bother her,plus her sister is staying with her from overseas and is leaving this Sunday.
How can this go…Share you opinion good or bad…
Hey James
Thanks for your question.
Basically, it sounds like this woman could “take you or leave you.” If she was madly in love with you, passionately attracted to you and respected you as a man, she would be doing the chasing and trying to organize meet ups. It sounds like you’re making the mistake that a lot of guys make, which is trying to secure a woman into a relationship by being as good as you can to her, instead of being as attractive as you can for her. If she is passionately attracted to you (Note: That is not the same as liking you), then she will be trying to have sex with you and secure you into a relationship.
Additionally, it sounds like she doesn’t mind you being out of the way while her sister is in town. The two are likely going and meeting men together like the “good old days.” What you need to do is stop trying to get chosen by her – women play hard to get when men do that. Establish the type of relationship dynamic where she is trying to impress you and maintain YOUR interest. If you want to learn how to do that, watch The Modern Relationship: http://store.themodernman.com/in/18c787c
Cheers
Dan
For so many years i was always the “man” of the relationship and every time they ended, it was because i either wasn’t happy or just generally had better offers.
The one time i have handed over my man pants in a relationship ( now my ex ). I was left devastated as she walked away from me without as much of a second glance.
Now, through discovering your articles i know why! So many of the things i have read here have opened my eyes to where i went wrong and more importantly. how to fix it!.
I became that needy, insecure man i had never allowed myself to be and she dropped me faster than a hot rock in her hands. If only I had of discovered these during the breakup Im sure I wouldn’t be where i am right now.
I thought giving my power, my freedom and my ambitions up would make her see how important she was to me. How i was very wrong. All i ended up with was a broken heart and a heck of a lot of burnt bridges in my personal and professional life that need never have been burnt.
Your articles, for me. Are literally INSPIRING! I have never came across something that has communicated to me in such a way. I would bet many a man will completely change his life if he opens himself up to this enlightening information.
Hey Zayvian
Thanks for your positive feedback mate. Much appreciated.
Hopefully now you can see that what you did by handing over your power like that is the equivalent of a beautiful woman with a sexy body, gradually losing her beauty and putting on way too much weight. You would have been an attractive guy to her at the start because you were being the man, but the more you stopped being the man the more she lost attraction for you – just like you would lose attraction for a beautiful women with a sexy body if she didn’t maintain her appearance for you.
Luckily for us guys, we don’t have to worry about our appearance to get a woman attracted and keep her attracted. Women are mostly attracted to our confidence, masculinity and emotional strength. You used to offer that for women, but you slipped. Don’t worry – go back to being a man and you will be fine. If you need some refresher training to get your confidence back and ensure that you never cause a woman to lose attraction and respect for you like your woman did, watch Better Than a Bad Boy: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan I’m in a current situation with a women i’ve been seeing. Basically her and i have hung out 5 times now and despite us both being a “players” with the opposite sex, we aren’t seeing other people. She’s confirmed she’s not having sex with anyone else, and I’m not either. I know she likes me and I do like her too. The problem is she’s a little closed up, as in she doesn’t allow herself to FEEL her feelings. She’s admitted to closing them off and putting up some intense boundary walls against love and other positive feelings that 2 people can have. So my question is how do i get her to let her guard down? And how do i do it without appearing needy?
Hey Tony
Thanks for question.
As you would know, The Modern Man method is about being authentic and real. So, if you don’t want to appear needy, then you need to genuinely become the type of guy who isn’t needy. Pretending not to be needy will never work because your true self always comes through.
The program I’ve developed that will eliminate your neediness for life is Better Than a Bad Boy: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89 Among 100s of other things, you will learn how to properly prioritize a woman in your mind so you will never feel needy, insecure, etc again.
Cheers
Dan
Dan,
This is really important and would like a detailed answer if possible.
Why don’t my friends ask me to do anything?
It makes me worried that were not friends at all and that they don’t like me and would prefer being with other people. These feeling worsen because I have a very small circle of friends so makes me even more concerned. It baffles me we have a great time I feel a mutual connection and good vibe so I’m confused, the company is good but if I want to do something I’m ALWAYS the one asking and being the pro-active one I’d be laying in a grave before I heard from them.
I respect myself although inside I am needy about holding on to my friendships I never allow it to come out if someone is treating me badly I will say something, if someone cancels plans on me I don’t immediately setup something else up I’ll wait, if someone is disrespecting my time I will show my displeasure at that. I respect myself so why don’t other people respect me?
Interesting thing I’ve noticed when I first befriend someone this dynamic is not present theres mutual communication and arranging back and forth but for some reason I end up in this situation I’ve been aware of it with each new friendship I have made to try to not fall into it but it always happens. Any ideas on why this happens?
I sometimes feel I’m a “safety net friend” I don’t know if this is just paranoia on my part but I get the sense that people have me around incase everything else goes bad they’ve still got me. Its like they’ve got me so they can go out there and be friends with more social cool people with no risk. I don’t know what I do or how I come across to be put in this category but I want out Like I said I respect myself. If I was going to take a stab in the dark it would be because I’m a good listener I have long winded conversations on the phone often with friends discussing important things I enjoy these conversations I’m not doing it to win peoples hearts over. I’m a good guy so why am I being disrespected?
I wish you would do a detailed program on how to build and maintain friendships.
Cheers
Hamish
Hey Hamish
Thanks for your question.
One thing you need to know is that your true self is always coming through. You say that you are needy about holding onto your friendships, but you don’t let that show. Believe me, it shows.
Think about it…
Think about ways in which other people behave and how you can sense what they are really thinking/feeling/intending in the moment. They try to hide it, but it comes through.
About making a program on the topic: I do plan to and have been keeping notes, testing things out, sharing advice with phone coaching clients, etc. I have a lot more to make for The Modern Man first though. Stay tuned…
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
So would you say neediness is the reason?
I know neediness is unappealing but I have a friend who is incredibly needy they contact me everyday with long winded whining stories this person has suffered trauma and abuse etc but I still want to be there friend but is that only because I have a reason to be there friend the reason being (I don’t have many) and they have a reason to be my friend (she needs support and caring people in her life) whereas more popular “cooler” people they are looking for different things than my friend and I are such as contacts, invites to parties, access to good looking women etc they’re looking for different things because they have a greater social circle. Would this be a fair assessment?
-Hamish
Hey Hamish
Yes, that is a reason, but not the ONLY reason. Essentially, the “cool crowd” like to hang out with people who are similar to them. If they feel as though you’re taking/leeching value from them by hanging around them, rather than adding value, then most won’t want you around. However, it’s not that simple. A cool person who has plenty of friends and plenty to do in life (i.e. career, hobbies, purpose, relationship, etc) usually doesn’t want any more people taking up his/her time unless totally necessary.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
Ok good. I hear a lot of the “i’m busy” stuff but I personally think its a joke. I wouldn’t say I’m the busiest guy ever I work 5 days a week off at the weekend but still find the time to make contact with friends I don’t understand how work and the other bland things we need to do in life become a priority over friendships.
In my social circle when I hear that most of the time it isn’t genuine. I have two friends who say their busy but have time to post 5 or 6 status updates on facebook but can’t shoot me a text every now and again. They basically aren’t interested in maintaining a friendship with me.
Hamish
Hey Hamish
Yes, that is true what you suggested about some of your friends. Many people aren’t interested in maintaining friendships with others. It’s not your fault though. As I said, most people will only maintain friendships if absolutely necessary. They want the rest of their time to chill out, play with modern technology, follow their dreams and live their life.
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan. I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 and a half years last month. We had an unbelievable relationship for 18 of those months, she kept telling me i was her one, that this was the best she has ever felt about anyone etc etc. And I absolutely loved her, we just clicked really well. However, despite attracting her in the first place by being fun, playful, taking the piss out of her etc, essentially deep down I was always a bit insecure that she would eventually stop being so keen. I don’t know when it happened but I think she must have started to sense this, as she got a bit distant for a while. She then told me she had cheated on me with a guy from work but wanted to stay together. Instead of walking away I stupidly stayed with her, but from then on we were never even, it was always like I was a victim and needed to be looked after rather than a proper relationship. So we split up shortly after. However, a couple of months later she got in touch to say she wanted to get back together, that she loved me and wanted to spend her life with me. So I agreed and for a couple of months it was great again. But then the same pattern happened again – I had to move in with her because my house situation fell through. To compensate for my feelings of insecurity at her cheating on me before, I found myself being a bit of a dick to her.
Eventually she cheated on me again and now we have split up. The thing is I know she is not a slut or a horrible person. She is actually really moral and, deep down, good. And we had a genuinely great thing. But my anxieties caused it to fail. My question is, how can I get rid of these insecurities? And do you see there being any chance of me and this girl getting back together again? Thanks.
Hey Bill
Thanks for your question.
You’re wondering how you can get over your insecurities of a woman losing interest and potentially cheating, but you want to try to do that while being with a woman who has cheated on you TWICE. Seriously mate, ponder that for a while.
Essentially, you need to approach your relationships with women differently. If you are secretly operating from an insecure mindset, it will come out in your behavior and will ruin the relationship. She will gain too much power, she will lose respect and attraction for you and the relationship will fall apart. It’s not that you’re not a good guy or worthy of can’t have a woman stay interested in you, it’s just that you’re doing it wrong. If you want to learn how to operate from a confident, masculine mindset and deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for you over time, I recommend you watch this: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89
Cheers
Dan
Hello.
I don’t doubt all the benefits that a guy will have with women (and with people in general), when he’s actually a confident alpha-male.
And I do believe that many guys have been successfully able to become a real alpha-male.
But, however, what I do am unsure about, is MY OWN ability to become a true alpha-male, ever.
I’m unsure of my “alpha-male-ability”, because I’ve had low self-esteem/confidence my entire life.
I even felt depressed/worthless when I was a child, at 6-7 years old. And my parents has told me that I always was very anxious and protective of myself as a child, and were very afraid of the potential of emotional hurt/loss. So I thereby distanced myself emotionally from my friends when I was a child, even though “everyone” wanted to be friends with me.
(I have always been very popular as a friend to the other kids/people in my classes, but I have never thought of myself as a popular person, if you know what I mean. So I never truly acknowledged other people’s approval of me, because I was always seeking the next, big new approval from them.)
It’s like I have this “shield”. I’m very open to knowing and connecting with people at a “distance”, but I almost never take people close to my heart, in order to protect myself from the potential emotional pain/loss.
Anyway, my whole life has been based upon feeling worthless (in comparison to other people), and striving for external, social validation.
And I’m 24 years old now.
In short; it’s been a life about basic “survival” in the form of social approval, rather than a life about living my life freely.
So due to my past, I’ve been brainwashed by myself to a point where I don’t know myself entirely as a person, so I don’t know what my “authentic self” would do in each situation, or even who my “authentic self” actually is…
Because I’ve lived my entire life through an excessive, fake “nice guy” persona – just to please people/get people’s approval.
So – how can I ever find any believable evidence for myself, that proves to me that I myself can actually become an alpha-male?
And that it’s not only possible for the people who aren’t as insecure as me?
How can I find evidence that proves those things to myself?
Because, by reading the comments from people who have succeeded to become an alpha-male, I get a feeling that they’re not the kind of person that I am – and that they thereby never were as insecure as I am, so that they thereby had an easier learning-curve than I have.
I don’t know about anyone who’s suffered from such a low level of self-esteem/confidence as I have, who also actually has succeeded to become an alpha-male…
(Or maybe that’s just how I perceive it, due to my low self-esteem/confidence.)
Of course, you don’t know me, so it’s difficult for you to assess how low my self-worth actually is; but think about the most insecure person that you’ve ever met… Because I think I’ll be quite close to that person, in terms of his “social insecurity”/low self-worth.
So – was HE able to become an alpha-male?
(BTW: I haven’t been getting around to watch your programs yet, because I thought it would be best to get finished reading all of your articles first.
And also because I’m afraid I’ve “hyped up” your products in my mind, and that I therefore am scared of being disappointed of them potentially not working for me personally…)
Thanks for your response, Dan.
Hey Knut
Thanks for your comment.
I was probably just as insecure as you, although in different ways. Back when I was at my lowest point (during the years of loneliness after I got dumped. See: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/get-your-ex-back-super-system.html), I developed social anxiety. I would go bright red (due to anxiety) at random times in social environments, but especially when the spotlight was on me. Years later, when I discovered what I now teach here at The Modern Man, I had transformed myself into a confident, alpha male who got promoted THREE times within six months in the corporate world. I went from being at the bottom of the corporate ladder, to being in the 2nd highest leadership position under the national owner of the company I worked for. I was basically the boss. Not once did I feel anxious. Not once did I go red. Why? I was living the advice that we now teach here at The Modern Man.
BTW: You might be able to relate to this customer in some ways: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/audio/turn_rejection_into_success.html
Essentially though (and I say this with love and care), none of what you’re saying actually matters. Why? That’s all in the past. You can use your past failures to predict your future failures, or you can be smart, strong and alpha and learn, improve and become successful with whatever you want to achieve. It’s your life and your choice, but if you want to change you have to decide to.
Cheers
Dan
Hey,
Uhh well I’ve been with my girlfriendfor a year, I’ve been there through everything with her with death in the family to the lost of her child. Brought me out of my depression, stopped me from wanting to self harm and my drinking problem. I was never really the one to be needy or insecure, I was the one who I felt held the power or pants. I’d always be cute an funny with the but never really cared enough I guess, just loved the attention without having to really give a Shit about them.
But now the woman I’m with for a year now, she recently cheated. It completely changed me, now I always feel I have to always know what she’s doing, where’s she at, if she doesn’t text back within the hour I get scared, mad, unwanted for some reason.. I’m always around her checking her phone, wondering ifit’s gonna happen again. I’ve become soooo needy, always asking if she wants to be with, if she loves me, why are you with me, just pointless questions like that. I can tell it annoys her, Hell she’ll even says it does. I make arguments about how she’s changed. Why don’t you talk or open up like you used too. Why don’t you ever want to cuddle, kiss or have sex anymore I’m always asking questions I know the answer to. We will be hanging out in the room and I’m always convincing myself she doesn’t care or love me like before cause she doesn’t sneak a kiss on me or come onto me in a sexual way. I’m this sad clingy puppy now . I was never this needy until she cheated, I’ve read articles on it. How to cut it off, why am I acting like this? ect. She’s even yelled asking why am I such a fucking baby now…
I do not know how to act around her anymore. Am I always turning her off? She used to think I was so sexy and always wonder why I am with her but now… Idk even though I am the guy, I’m just basically the needy controlling insecure girlfriend and now she’s the man in the relationship!! I want her to act the way I think she should, why do I have to be this now. Shouldn’t she be always asking me those questions.
I’m just lost and confused on how to get my man hood back again and for her to go back to wanting me like she used too!
Hi Emery
Thanks for your comment.
Each time you feel the urge to be insecure and react in the way you have been, you have to make the conscious DECISION to decide not to. Decide to ignore it, let it go and focus on the positive: She is with you.
You also need to protect yourself against this type of thing in future by being the type of man who is not dependant on a woman for his happiness and emotional security. Watch: http://store.themodernman.com/better_than_a_bad_boy.html
Cheers
Dan
I am in a relationship with a guy and I am so sick and tired of him freaking out if I don’t text him right back. He plays a guilt trip on me saying ” I know you don’t care about me like I care about or I’m not important enough to get back to.” He recently text me cause I have not text him back after that crap.. he said.. “are we done cause you haven’t responded and that speas something.” No, what it speaks is your freaking annoying me and I don’t want to give in to you pity bullsht. I am not your mom so get off my tit, I will not coddle you. It is not my job to make you feel good about yourself. And i am seriously tired of trying to convince him that I care cause its never good enough!
Hey Trisha
Well, all I can say is that I hope your boyfriend searches online and finds my site.
If he does, these are the programs for him:
http://store.themodernman.com/the_modern_relationship.html
http://store.themodernman.com/better_than_a_bad_boy.html
The reason I provide links to my programs in this reply is that your boyfriend will need more than just to read one of my free articles. He needs some training. I feel for both of you. Good luck!
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan,
Im a guy who’s In a relationship. At first the woman Im currently in the relationship with was incredibly interested in me as I was not as much interested in her. After awhile I fell in love with her an we both say an text love you to each other. I believe I have my act together- I look at her with masculinity, have amazing sex, and even find ways to be a bad boy and prove to her that I’m desired.
However, recently I have fallen for her hard an realized how much I love her an possibly more than she loves me. To sum it all up in the beginning I felt all macho an confident, suave but as the relationship progressed I forgot who I was a little bit. Somehow I’m able to still con myself to act confident but in most cases I don’t feel confident inside. The real question is how do I get her to be madly in love with me where it’s like she will throw her body on the ground for me?Because she says I love you to me already an talks about having my babies etc. I don’t want my consistent neediness habit like calling her phone more than 3
Times kill a relationship that I really hold dear to my heart.
Best Regards,
Frank
P.s. Your accent sounds like Hugh jackmans
Hey Frank
Thanks for your question.
All women will eventually pull back their interest in a guy to see how he reacts. If you react by becoming emotionally needy, jealous or angry, it obviously turns her off. The reaction that a woman wants to see from you is that you love her, but don’t need her.
A big part of being able to have the right mental and emotional balance to be like that as a man, is to have purpose in life that is bigger and more important than her. That is ONE of the elements to being what women refer to as a “real man” and I explain it all in my program, Better Than a Bad Boy: http://store.themodernman.com/better_than_a_bad_boy.html
Cheers
Dan