If you’re not having any luck with women lately, you may have begun to think that modern women are too picky, too difficult and oftentimes, not worth the effort.
Yet, attracting and picking up women is actually one of the easiest things that a guy can ever do in life. When you know how to attract women, you don’t have to rely on getting lucky because most of the women that you meet feel attracted to you.
Watch this video to understand how it works…
It’s so damn easy to attract women for sex or a relationship these days.
Most women are totally open to having sex with you to see how things go and many women are fine with starting a relationship to see if it turns into something special.
Waiting to Get Lucky is a Waste of Your Precious Lifetime
You can actually attract women now. You don’t have to sit around waiting and hoping that something magically happens one day.
Right now, you are good enough for MOST women.
All you need to do is learn how to turn on your natural ability to make them feel attracted to you. When you do that, most women like you and you can then get on with enjoying your choice of women until you are ready to settle down with your perfect girl.
Don’t waste your life thinking that you’re not good enough because you ARE.
Don’t hope that a woman will overlook the fact that you don’t even know how to make her feel attracted. She might initially accept that (i.e. you will get lucky), but the relationship almost always won’t last.
Most guys in this world don’t even know that it’s possible to attract with women their personality, behavior and conversation style. They assume that women don’t like them because they’re not good looking enough, but that’s not it.
This is real reason why a lot of good guys fail with women…
Some guys hope that if they just wait long enough, they might one day “get lucky” and score a beautiful woman who isn’t very picky. She will overlook the fact that she doesn’t feel much attraction and just love him for him.
They will then live happily ever after. Awww…sweet.
Wake up! That’s not how it works.
Sure, some guys do get lucky and score themselves a hottie, but once she gets bored or finds a replacement guy, he is finished. So, why does a woman hook up with a guy who doesn’t even know how to properly attract her or isn’t even her real type?
Here are some of the reasons why…
1. She wants a guy that she can control
When a woman notices that a man is desperate for some female attention and doesn’t believe that he can attract other women, she usually realizes that she will be able to control him in a relationship with the threat of a breakup.
She’ll be the one who has the power and will end the relationship whenever she wants without any regard for his feelings or desire to be with her. Women who use this type of “dating strategy” will stay in the relationship until something better comes along.
They will even go as far as marrying a man, only to cheat on him and divorce him later when they find a better option.
2. She wants a guy that she will never truly love
If a woman hooks up with a guy who can’t attract other quality women and simply got lucky with her, she will never love him as much as she would a guy who makes her feel more and more attraction over time.
A lot of guys don’t realize that it’s possible to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction over time in a relationship. When you have that skill, your relationship will not break up. There is no need to break up because the feelings become more and more powerful over time.
If a guy is insecure about his ability to attract women (including her), it will turn her off on a deep level. She might love him and really like him as a person, but she will never experience the type of love that she would with a guy who is truly attractive to her.
Since the love that she feels the guy who got lucky with her won’t ever become too deep and meaningful, it won’t hurt her very much (if at all) to break up with him. He will be the one who is devastated by the breakup and she will move on quickly and easily without having to go through much of a grieving process.
Some women do this to guys because they have been broken up with or cheated on by more confident men in the past. Instead of having to go through that painful experience again, a woman will accept a lesser man whom she will never truly love.
She might stay with him for a few years or even for life, but she will never truly love him in the way that she’d love a man who knows how to deepen her feelings of respect, love and attraction over time.
3. She lacks experience when it comes to relationships
Some younger women make the mistake of hooking up with guys who are insecure and lacking confidence and masculinity, because they lacks experience with relationships and don’t yet know how to identify the real men from the boys.
At the start of the relationship, she might feel as though she “loves” him because she is enjoying all the wonderful feelings that come along with lust and sex. Yet, if he doesn’t know how to build on her attraction and respect for him over time, she will gradually lose respect, then lose attraction and then begin fall out of love with him.
To show you what I mean, here’s a video I made for guys who’ve been broken up with by a woman…
4. She is insecure and doesn’t feel as though she deserves a better man
Sometimes, a woman will get into a relationship with a man that she isn’t fully attracted to because she is insecure and doesn’t feel like she deserves anything better.
To many guys, this seems like the PERFECT solution to all of their problems. They can be insecure, not know how to attract women and they will still get a great woman. Perfect!
Not quite.
Just because she is insecure and lacks confidence in herself now, it doesn’t mean that she won’t become confident later on.
Many of the guys who come to me for help on how to get their ex back, managed to hook up with a woman at a low point in her life (e.g. she had been dumped by another guy). Then, when she eventually builds her self-esteem back up again, she dumps the guy who got lucky with her and decides that she now wants and deserves a better man.
It is a very confusing, heartbreaking and annoying process for a guy to go through with a woman, especially because most of the guys that it happens to are good guys with good intentions. Yet, that’s how dating and relationships work with women. You either know how to attract women or you don’t…
In a relationship with a woman, nothing is certain unless you make it certain. You have to know how to make her feel attracted to you and then deepen her feelings of love, respect and attraction over time.
A woman may love you today, but she will just as easily fall out of love with you next week if you are unable to the man she needs you to be. Likewise, she may not be interested in getting engaged or married when you meet her, but if your love evolves and it feels right to take the next step together, you need to be brave enough to take it.
The Beginning of a Relationship is the EASY Part
If a guy gets lucky with a woman that is out of his league, things can and often do run fairly smoothly at the start.
However, when the initial buzz wears off (anywhere from a few days to a year), the woman will eventually realize that she has accepted a guy who probably doesn’t deserve a girl like her.
When she has that realization, she will begin to pull back her interest in him and start focussing on her career or wanting to go out partying with her single girlfriends. The guy will then begin to feel insecure about her lack of affection and interest and in most cases, he will start behaving in a clingy, needy and jealous way with her.
The more insecure he becomes, the more respect and attraction she loses for him and the relationship spirals out of control.
To keep a relationship together (whether it began with genuine attraction or luck), a man has to know how to deepen a woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for him. If he is unable to do that, he will most-likely become insecure when the woman tests him by pulling back her interest at some point in the relationship.
If he reacts with insecurity, rather than with confidence, the woman will lose respect and attraction for him and the problems will begin.
There’s Only So Much That a Modern Woman Will Put Up With
In the past, it was shameful for a woman to break up with or divorce a man. Dating lots of men was absolutely not allowed, so women had to be very picky and select a man that they would devote themselves to.
Women would stay with their chosen man for life, even if he didn’t know how to deepen her feelings of love, respect and attraction. If she was unhappy, she was stuck with him and had to put up with it by sticking to her, “Till death do us part” promise at the altar.
Not anymore.
If a modern woman isn’t happy in a relationship or marriage, she knows that the majority of society no longer see break ups as taboo. Some TV shows, movies and female pop singers even make the idea of divorce, break ups and affairs seem “cool” to women.
The old days of women feeling obliged to remain with a guy for life no longer exist.
For an insecure guy who has gotten lucky with a woman, it is usually only a matter of time before the whole thing unravels (i.e. she realizes her mistake or finds herself a better man) and she then dumps him and gets on with her life. This is one of the main reasons why the divorce rate has been so high over the past 50 years.
Here’s What Happened to Me When I Got “Lucky” With a Woman
Back when I had no idea about how to attract women, my main approach was to talk to as many girls as I could and then hope that one of them liked me.
I didn’t even know that I could actively attract women based on what I was saying and doing during the interaction. Instead, I would simply use the nice guy approach and hope to get lucky one day with a woman who’d give me a chance.
After being single and alone for a long time, I eventually got lucky with a girl at a party (both her and I were a bit tipsy after having some drinks). While dancing at the house party, her and I managed to get close and then somehow I started kissing her.
She was the hottest girl I’d ever scored with. I couldn’t believe it. I immediately wanted to begin a relationship with her and luckily enough, she was fairly inexperienced with relationships, so she went along with it.
Throughout the relationship, I always secretly knew that I’d gotten lucky with her, so my insecurities eventually began to change my nice behavior towards her into overly-protective, jealous, mean and sometimes even threatening behavior.
After losing a lot of respect and attraction for me, she eventually cheated on me and then dumped me. I was emotionally destroyed for a long time after that. I didn’t feel like I was good enough for women and was alone for years once again.
After a while, I made a decision that I was going to work out how to properly attract women so I could have my choice with women. I went out approaching women every weekend until I worked out how to attract women and I’ve never looked back.
I’ve now had sex with more than 250 women and I recently got married to the girl of my dreams, who is 10x hotter than the ex who dumped me all those years ago…
Want to Know the SECRET to Success With Women?
Watch this hidden video where Dan exposes his BIGGEST secret to success with women, which allows you to easily get laid or get a girlfriend.
This video is only available here and you can watch it for free right now.
Hi, my name is henry, Am 24yrs old. To be sincere have been unlucky with women; I’m not really handsome but some other guys more uglier than my self are posing around with beautiful ladies…they even date loder rich women. Its frustrating!
I recently sighted this young lady in my school study, she beautiful and possess all I wanted in a woman. One unfortunate thing is that we are in the same class. I noticed she avoid me in everything, but deep within me Am dying to have her. She only hangout with boys of her age….I think she hates me and she doesn’t wanna see me, not even when I told her I want to see her. Pls help me out.
Hi Henry
Thanks for your comment.
We explain how to attract women in classroom (e.g. adult study courses, university, school, college, etc) environments in 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend.
BTW: You don’t tell a woman you want to see her! That’s not the way a natural sexual courtship unfolds. Read The Flow to learn how to go through the correct, natural process with a woman so it quickly leads to kissing, sex and a relationship.
Cheers
Dan
Great article. I’ve been trying out some of the techniques, but I am finding they do not work as well with women over 40. The playful teasing after engaging in a conversation does not work well or do I need to just keep trying?
Hey Dan
Thanks for your question.
Of course flirting works with women over 40! They are usually EXPERTS at flirting by that age! 🙂 I’ve coached guys in bars and clubs for MANY years (see http://www.themodernman.com/courses_seminars/weekend-bootcamps.html) and have coached guys of all ages (18-58). They all got results and they all used flirting correctly with women from 18-60+. No women I’ve ever met has not liked flirting. It is the language that women PREFER to use to communicate their sexual interest in a man. It’s just how it works.
Basically, you need to get some practice because it sounds like you’re not yet doing it right. Don’t be down on yourself about that. It’s totally normal and natural to have to go through a small phase of feeling a bit awkward when developing a new complex skill. Just like when you first learnt how to drive a car – there was so much to think about all at once and you made some mistakes, but after a while it was easy, natural and automatic for you. The same applies to flirting.
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan,
This article definitely opened up some painful memories of my past relationship. It’s interesting you note towards the end of how the feminine guy has lost all sense of hope and confidence in himself after being dumped and therefore avoids love altogether. Sums my past up big time. Your products are helping me change that around. Thanks for the article.
Jared.
Hi Jared
Thanks for your positive feedback.
Yes, it’s not only men, but women who close themselves off to love after being hurt one too many times. However, as I explain in Better Than a Bad Boy, you can be fearless and open to love (and therefore open women up to love when you meet them) when you approach the initial interaction, dates and relationship correctly. I won’t spell out the correct approach here in this comment, but you should know it already from watching the program.
Be fearless by having those “other things” in your life that I talk about in the program. Do it right and you won’t get hurt.
Cheers
Dan
Dan,
Can a women find a man attractive if there not emotionally compatible? If so how can this be when attraction for women is solely based on personality and how the guy makes her feel.
I was talking to a girl the other night (not the first time this has happened) making jokes about whatever I wanted to flirting in the ways that I like but the girl just didn’t get it and didn’t respond in the ways I like girls to respond so I assumed we were not compatible even though I still found her attractive. Whats are girls thinking in those situations can they still think I’m attractive even though we aren’t clicking emotionally in humor, flirting etc?
Im struggling to get my head around how a girl could find you attractive if your not matching up well in those areas.
Any input would be brilliant.
Kurt
Hi Kurt
Thanks for your question.
There are several different types of compatibility, which I reveal in The Modern Relationship. I can’t reveal them here though. If she is attracted to you in some ways, but not in the most important ways (again, I have to keep those a secret for my customers) then she won’t be interested and will pull back from the interaction/won’t want to fully participate in the process.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan!
I really want to share this success story:
I was invited to a house party where I only knew one person (not the host). For preparation I listened to the house party part on 21 great ways to get a girlfriend.
And what can I say? amazing.
The first 3 minutes were kind of weird since I only knew my friend and he knew almost everyone already. But he didnt really introduce me to anybody. So I was standing there and thought: ok what now?
I started to menatlly go through what I learned from your program and thought: “alright, Moritz you have all the information you need and besides you are an awesome guy to talk to so why be nervous?”
So I just started to mingle in. I talked to almost anybody I could find with a simple: ” Hi, whats going on?” or “Hey, so who are you?” in an upbeat, confident and humorous way. I had an awesome night an ended up getting the facebook details from the hottest girl I could find.( I only spend 6-7 minutes talking to her)
She couldnt wait to grab my phone to punch her facebook name in.
(By the way:What do you think is better? Getting her facebook details or her number?)
Thanks Dan, for showing me how easy it actually is, as soon you have the right information and BALLS.
Cheers
Moritz
Hi Moritz
Thanks for sharing your success story. Much appreciated.
This is a great example of creating your OWN luck. When you use our advice, things happen and others assume you must be the luckiest guy on Earth. Yet, as you have experienced, you can CHOOSE the women you want simply by talking to them and using the natural techniques we teach. If you can get more practice doing what you did that night, it will become completely natural for you and most women you meet will like you and want to see you again.
As for your question: These days, it doesn’t matter too much – either is good. If you have a crappy Facebook profile (i.e. no photos with beautiful ex-girlfriends, not living a fun life, etc), it is better to start with a phone number and get her out on a date. However, if you’ve had beautiful women in your life and have photos with them, as well as what seems to be an interesting life, adding her to Facebook can make her more interested.
That said though…
A lot of guys add girls to Facebook and waste too much time chatting to them, getting to know them, etc and don’t escalate to a date. The most important thing you need to do is kiss her. That changes everything. Don’t waste time chatting, do this: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/the-kissing-drug.html
BTW: For the guys reading along with the comments who don’t know how to escalate to kissing and sex very well, watch Dating Power for examples, techniques and advice. We provide rejection-proof techniques that have been tested 1,000s of times.
Cheers
Dan
Hi
Truly i am very unlucky and unsuccessful about women.i am 25 year Old.i have no girlfriend since i born.i am to much shy.i am average looking guy.i want my aunt as my girlfriend but she doesn’t notice me and always ignore me.
she is very charming and beautiful. She has every quality that a man like in women but one more thing that she is little religious . I want that she herself that please make my boyfriend.How i get her and what the way,so that i get her love,
Please help me dear i shall be very thankful to you.
regard
Ali
Hi Ali
You are so desperate that you want to have sex your aunty?
Dude, I don’t teach guys how to get into incestuous relationships. Your idea is absolutely pathetic and you are thinking like a loser. Nature punishes those who breed within their own family, by triggering illnesses, diseases and deformities in the offspring. Having sex with your FAMILY is not the right thing to do, for so many reasons.
You need to LEARN how to overcome your insecurities and become a confident man. Just because you are shy now, it doesn’t mean you cannot change. I used to have social anxiety and would go red in the face when attention was put on me in a social situation. Look at me now. How did I change and become a powerful, confident, masculine man? All those answers and all the solutions to your problems with women are in my programs.
I can see from your IP address that you come from a country that doesn’t have a strong currency, so my programs would be quite expensive for you. I suggest you either continue learning from my articles, or save up to buy The Flow.
Cheers
Dan
P.S. You said, “Please help me dear i shall be very thankful to you.” Dude, it takes me HOURS to write these free articles. Believe me, I am helping you guys a lot already. I probably spent 90 hours writing articles for the site last month…and I gave them all away for free. However, if you want to learn my best secrets for success with women and my most powerful techniques, you will need to invest in my programs. Guys write in all the time to tell me about their amazing success with women after reading The Flow or listening to Mastery Methods and Mindsets and following the advice. One of the most common things customers say about our advice is that it is “priceless” and that had they known how valuable and life-changing it was BEFORE buying it, they would have paid double or triple no problem at all.
Hey Dan!
I know I’m asking a lot but
I can only find instructions in your programs on how to organize a date via a call but not via facebook.
Should I just cut to: “Hey whe should catch up an go to such and such bar or do such and such thing. It’ll be fun!” ?
So basically no difference to a phone call?
(Just rewatched Dating Power part on setting up a date and had a huge laugh on taking the girl to go feed the ducks – I’m thinking about doing do that ;))
Thanks for your effort
Moritz
Hi Moritz
Thanks for your question.
The reason you won’t find instructions on how to set up a date via Facebook is that we absolutely do not recommend it! Pick up the phone and call her. You have a high chance of being rejected if you try to organize dates via text or Facebook.
Simply use the “Caller Guessing Technique” from Dating Power when you call her. She will laugh and be happy that you called and then all you need to do is follow the instructions that Ben provides for setting up the date. Done! Don’t try to complicate things Moritz – just follow our instructions and you will be fine. The guys who write success stories on our site and say, “Wow, this is so easy!” are the ones who follow our instructions. We have tested everything for YEARS and we know what works. Until you are consistently enjoying success by following our advice, don’t try to go outside of what we advise. When you are great with women, feel free to break the rules and experiment, but if you want to be successful now, please – do me and you a favor and – just use our approach. Guys all over the world are laughing at how easy it is to be successful with women because they are following our advice.
Cheers
Dan
P.S. …and “No!” that is not what you would say if you sent a text message or FB message. In The Flow and Dating Power, we specifically explain how to suggest a date with a woman and that is NOT the wording you should use.
Hey Dan,
thanks for the reply.
Well, as I said, I only got her facebook details and not her phone number when I talked to her at the house party.So facebook is the only way I can communicate with her. Thats why I asked for advice.
So in that case what can you recommend on how to set up a date?
Cheers
Moritz
Hi Moritz
No probs mate. Yes, just follow what Ben says about when to transition from an e-mail (the same applies to a text message or Facebook message) to a phone call. Use the style of conversation that we teach in all of our programs to make her attracted, then escalate to a phone number to chat.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
its me again. 😉
referring to the facebook question above:
But how do I escalate to a phone number on facebook?
I know how to do it when she is right in front of me but via facebook?
Something like: “Hey you seem to be cool, we should chat on the phone sometime… Give me your number.” ?
Cheers
Moritz
Hi Moritz
Thanks for your question.
Ben explains how to do that in our section on Online Dating in 21 Great Ways to Get a Girlfriend. It’s not something I can share for free in the comments with everyone though! 🙂 That type of information is for customers only.
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan
Ok, no worries mate.
Thanks anyway.
Moritz
Dan,
I recently purchased and read The Flow and was thrilled. However, you didn’t exactly elaborate on what exactly women want from the actual sex itself. Do they expect us men to perform like porn stars and have a rock hard you-know-what- all night? Or are there other things we can do to satisfy a woman? How important is size? Thanks Dan.
Hey Clint
Thanks for your positive feedback and question.
While the physical pleasure of sex is enjoyable for a woman, she gets most of her pleasure from the emotional side of sex. For a woman, it’s more about who she is receiving it from, rather than what position you are in. If she is having sex with a man that she respects and is deeply attracted to, it is going to be so much more pleasurable for her than having to have sex with a man that she looks down on (because of his insecurities, jealousy, lack of purpose in life, lower ranking male behavior, etc) and is barely attracted to.
I talk about the sex act in The Modern Relationship http://store.themodernman.com/in/18c787c and Better Than a Bad Boy: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89 While I talk about some physical techniques, most of it is about the emotional side of sex, which is the most important for the woman. It’s WHO she is getting sexed by that is important. If you are the guy who makes her melt as a result of your confidence, presence and behavior, then amazing sex just happens naturally.
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan!!!
I just recently got dumped by my girlfriend of 5 1/2 years. We dated for 3 1/2 years then she broke up with me and moved away. She recently moved back home in Janurary and we started dating again. We only lasted about 4 months. I became jealous and so did she. I got jealous of her guy friends and she did the same with my friend. I want to win her back. Lots of guys are after her because she is drop dead gorgeous. I’ve been looking at the alpha male or the better than a bad boy. I don’t know which one to get. I want her to realize that she left a great guy. A one in a billion type of guy. Please help I’m trying so hard to make myself not get jealous and be a better man. A man that women want so bad. I’m a good liking guy, I’ve just built up these walls after getting dumped twice by the love of my life. Please help!!!!
Marcus
Hey Marcus
Thanks for your question.
The program for you is definitely Better Than a Bad Boy: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89 What you’re wanting to achieve is exactly what the program is about. Whether a guy is trying to make a NEW woman that he meets feel that way about him or make a women he ALREADY knows feel that way, the program is Better Than a Bad Boy.
Cheers
Dan
I read your article about ‘weak men’ getting ‘lucky’; & while I don’t necessarily believe this applies to EVERYONE, I do however see it in the ‘dating scene.’ I believe if you are in that realm, the man HAS to be what you described as a real man to attract very beautiful women. I think a lot of us ‘get lucky’ at some point in our past; infact, I had 2 young, gorgeous, lesbians sleep with me at the same time when I was 21…but I was good at attracting women when I was in my 20’s & 30’s. Now, as a single guy just getting back into the ‘scene’ after 2 VERY LONG relationships with 2 different women back to back, I’M FINDING I’M WAY out of touch with the ‘game’ in today’s scene. I just recently met a MUCH YOUNGER, knockout who actually showed me interest first, after applying some of your techniques that I have read. & let me tell you, I needed EVERY one of them to get this honey. I’ve even seen her tossing guys her age aside like yesterday’s garbage before I finally approached her, got her #, & now am seeing her on a regular basis. I actually found out she’s really SHY! Anyway, thanx for the advice; I’m always reading you’re articles & advice…it’s become the best pieces of advice I ever have had!
Hey Todd
Fantastic! Thanks for explaining that.
The dating scene has become a lot more challenging these days, which is why men need to tighten up their skills. It’s not a case of getting introduced to a girl through family, asking her father if you can marry her and then getting on with that. There’s a whole modern dating scene out there and in many cases, women will simply reject guys who aren’t what they refer to as being a real man.
I actually think that it is a good thing because it is making us men stronger and more wise than we’ve ever been before.
Great to hear that you’re enjoying success out there. Believe me, it only gets better and better from where you are now. Enjoy!
Cheers
Dan