It’s fairly easy to pick up a woman at a park when she’s relaxing, listening to music or reading a book.
Essentially, you need to approach with a relaxed, confident easy-going attitude and understand that she may feel a bit nervous or unsure initially.
To ensure that it doesn’t feel awkward for either of you, make sure that you smile, relax and just be in an easy-going mood as you start talking to her.
For example:
You: [Approach with an easy-going vibe, relaxed confidence and smile] Hey, how’s it going? I know that it’s not normal for random people to stop and say hello to each other in the park, but I thought I’d say a quick hello because you’re cute. [Pause and let her laugh, smile or say something]. So, how’s your day going?
Her: [Says whatever she says]
At this point, if she’s sitting on a park bench, have a seat next to her or if she’s sitting on the grass, just sit down.
You don’t need to ask for her permission. She doesn’t own the park and most women prefer guys who are confident, relaxed and just do whatever they want without asking.
When talking to her, be sure to avoid the following conversation mistakes…
As you will discover from the video above, you are pretty much in control of how comfortable she will feel and how much attraction she will feel for you during the interaction.
It’s Romantic
Meeting a woman in a park has been a theme in so many romantic movies that some women go through life hoping that they can meet a guy in that way.
Yet, the sad truth is that most guys have been made so insecure by what they’ve been told about women (i.e. that women only want a good looking guy, women don’t want to be approached, etc) that they are afraid to approach and talk to women in parks because they fear being rejected, humiliated in front of others or even hassled by police for disturbing the peace.
Here’s the thing…
You are here on planet Earth and this is your world just as much as it is anyone else’s. We humans are allowed to be friendly, loving and open towards one another, so don’t let the closed-minded thinking of random people make you think that it’s wrong for you to be friendly, loving and open in this life.
If they want to think that way, then let them live the miserable life they are choosing to live. However, you don’t have to join them in that misery. Life is so much better when you have the confidence and freedom of mind to approach women that you find attractive.
If you don’t have that type of confidence, watch this video…
As you will discover by watching the video above, you can take control of your confidence and use it to not only approach women that you find attractive, but also make them feel attracted to you when the interaction begins.
Women are naturally attracted to confident guys, so if you go out approaching women in a park on the weekend, make sure that you allow the woman to experience your relaxed, easy-going confidence.
You allowing her to feel attracted to you in that way is like her wearing revealing clothing to allow you to experience attraction to her legs or cleavage for example.
Don’t Expect Things to Play Out Like a Movie
Real life rarely plays out as smoothly as things do in the movies.
For example: In a movie, you will often male character accidentally tipping coffee on a woman as a result of bumping into her while walking by, or she may be looking up at the trees and walking along and then bump into him and drop all of her papers.
He will then rush to help her and while doing that, they will both stop to take a few moments to look at each other in the eyes and smile.
Here’s the thing…
In real life, most people feel uncomfortable in sudden situations like that and simply walk away feeling embarrassed or uneasy.
If you want something to happen between you and a woman, you have to approach and not worry about everything going smoothly. Just get over there and make something happen, even if there are some uncomfortable moments at times.
Deal with it, get the result and get on with enjoying your life with her.
Other examples of guys meeting women in parks in a movie are where a guy:
1. Buys a dog and then hangs out at the park hoping to a particular girl or any girl.
2. Jogs or runs along next to a woman he likes and tries to get a conversation going
3. Suddenly develops an interest in yoga so he can join her class.
For entertainment purposes, the movie will show a guy doing all sorts of crazy things in an attempt to get the woman’s attention. He will usually stuff up the first approach, but then do something amazing for her (e.g. save her from a bad boy, save the world or save the day somehow) and she will then like him and they’ll live happily ever after.
Have you ever noticed that?
Have you noticed how in the movies, the loveable loser character has to make a complete fool of himself, be laughed at and ridiculed for 75% of the movie before the woman finally takes pity on him and agrees to go out on a date with him?
In real life, I can safely say that most guys would prefer to bypass the getting “laughed at and ridiculed” part and go straight to “the date and sex” part. So, if you want to be able to approach and pick up women in parks during the day or anywhere else for that matter, make sure you avoid the following common mistakes…
Mistakes to Avoid When Approaching Women in Parks
Besides the obvious mistakes that some guys make such as looking like a stalker, or sneaking up on her and startling her with an awkward, “Umm, hello?” there are more common mistakes that a guy will sometimes make when approaching a woman in a park.
Mistake 1: Not matching his approach, vibe and conversation style to suit the environment
Approaching a woman in a park is different from approaching her in a bar or a nightclub. In a nightclub or bar, a woman is expecting guys to chat her up and she is open to being approached. She’s also likely in a more chatty and sociable mood.
In a park a woman is generally not looking to meet a guy, probably has spoken to anyone is an hour or more and therefore a guy’s approach, his approach and his conversation style should be tailored to put her at ease and allow her to comfortable open up to him.
If, for example a guy is interested in a woman who at a park doing yoga and meditation, approaching her with high energy and an over excited vibe will possibly disturb her concentration and jolt her into feelings of alarm and confusion and he will not receive an enthusiastic welcome because of it.
Mistake 2: Looking like he’s just there to pick women up
Women don’t like to be picked up, but they do like to be seduced. If a woman gets the impression that a guy is there trying to pick her up, she will snub him very quickly and won’t want any part of the interaction.
If, on the other hand he connects with her through conversation and gets her to open up to him and feel attraction for him, then he will definitely leave with her phone number or even escalate their interaction to kissing, a date and even sex on the same day.
Women often fantasize about being able to tell their friends that they met their boyfriend (or husband) in place other than a bar. She’ll fall asleep at night imagining bumping into a guy at a park and one thing leading to another.
Mistake 3: Appearing nervous or anxious
A guy who makes a hesitant and nervous approach is already approaching on the back foot.
A woman will not waste her time with a guy who is trying to fumble through his opening line, “Errrr… sorry, can I, errrr… talk to you? Errrr…”
There is nothing that can cool the fires of passion faster than a guy who is lacking in self confidence. It’s just not attractive to women at all and they also don’t want to be responsible for making you feel any more nervous than you already are, so they’ll just try to ignore you and hope that you go away.
Mistake 4: Being unable to keep a conversation going and keep it interesting
Some guys will approach a woman easily, only to mess it up when it comes to engaging her in conversation.
The art of conversation is one of the most important keys to success in picking up women, next to confidence and masculinity (emotional and mental masculinity).
Being a bad conversationalist is quick way to make a woman lose interest in you right away. Two common mistakes that guys make when talking to women are:
- Using the “interview” style of conversation, in which they’ll ask the woman a range of different, and personal, questions and have a conversation that is essentially about exchanging resumes, location details, age, etc. It’s so standard, typical and unexciting that most women just switch off and want it to end.
- The other is talking incessantly about himself and what interests him. There’s nothing wrong with talking about yourself, if you’re focussing the conversation on you in an attempt to impress her with your achievements, goals or stories about yourself, it won’t work.
Neither of the above conversation methods will properly engage a woman and neither will draw “the real her” out, make her open up and ultimately feel attraction for him.
In most cases, a guy will just get the superficial, guarded version of a woman and he won’t get to meet and experience the easy-going, down to Earth side of her that he wishes she would show him. Instead, she behaves cold, uninterested and even rudely towards him, hoping that he’ll just get the point and go away.
Mistake 5: Not creating any attraction between himself and the woman
Attraction is the glue of relationships and if a guy cannot create attraction between himself and the woman, his park approach will quickly feel weird to her. She’ll be thinking, “Why is this guy being so friendly? I don’t know him. I don’t like him…but, he keeps talking to me. What’s going on here?”
However, if a guy made her feel attraction, she would be thinking, “Cool! I like this guy. I wonder where this is going to go!” You can create attraction in many ways, but one of the best is to use flirting when you’re having a conversation with her.
Without any feelings of sexual attraction, a conversation will usually remain platonic (just friendly) and she might as well be talking to a family member or work colleague. As a man, you must realize and accept that you are responsible for creating attraction between you and a woman.
Watch this video to understand how it works…
As long as you can create a spark between you and a woman that you meet in a park or anywhere else, everything else (e.g. exchanging phone numbers, adding each other to Facebook, kissing, sex, dates and a relationship) will flow on naturally and easily after that.
However, you have to actively create a spark between you and a woman.
Don’t think it will be like the movies where you’re walking along in a park, you lock eyes together, pause for a few seconds (retaining eye contact) and then hit it off easily because she is magically attracted to you, even though you didn’t do anything to make her feel that way.
In the real world, most women aren’t confident enough to look at a guy in that way. Women who are confident enough to do it are also often worried about doing it because they might end up getting stuck talking to a weirdo guy.
So, instead of sending out obvious signals that may attract weirdos, they wait and hope that a confident, cool guy will approach and make it feel like they’re in a romantic movie.
Mistake 6: Expecting her to lead the interaction
If a guy has often seen a beautiful woman in the park that he frequents, he can, through observing her over time and desiring to be with her, build up an unrealistic picture of her in his mind.
For example: He might imagine her to be the most wonderful, lovely, beautiful woman in the world as he falls asleep imagining them being together as a couple.
When he finally builds up the courage to approach her, he has already put her on a pedestal way above himself, which will likely make him feel and act a little inferior to her…and that is not attractive to women, at all.
When he finally makes his approach, he’ll likely do so in a submissive way, putting the control of the interaction firmly in her hands. At this point, she can choose to accept or reject him on the spot because she will feel as though it is completely up to her.
She might enjoy having control over him for a short while and watching him squirm and behave in a nervous way around her, but due to his lack of confidence, she will be unable to feel proper attraction and respect for him and will simply reject any attempts he makes to get her number or date her.
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Dan,
Can a guy who’s new to approaching women realistically pull this off? I’ve given it a go a few times not in the park but in the street and it hasn’t worked main reason for that is its such a big deal to just run after the girl and stop her in public that by the time it comes to the conversation I’ve got nothing left in the tank not comfortable in this situation to just have a chat because its an overwhelming thing to do still, in a bar I feel I’ve got license to talk and if it doesn’t work its just part of mingling and not such a big deal she turns to talk to someone else I talk with my friend.
Hey James
Thanks for your question.
If the guy has your level of confidence or less, then the answer is “No.” You said that it was such a “big deal” to run after her, which reveals that a small thing like that seems like a big deal to you. For someone like me (or for other guys at my level), it’s just a simple case of talking to a girl. If you like her, you talk to her, even if that involves going out of your way to stop her.
However, one point to add: Don’t run after women. They don’t like being approached from behind. Think about it: For most of human history, there was no police. A guy running after a girl when she away from her family would often mean that he was going to attack her. So, women still have that fearful reaction to guys approaching from behind. Instead, stop in front of her.
If you want to learn how to approach women during the day in various places, such as a shopping mall, bookstore, clothing store, etc, then listen to this program, use our advice and you will get results easily and consistently: http://store.themodernman.com/in/e8ead2
Cheers
Dan
Dan,
Don’t get what you mean mate. A lot of the times in the street you see a girl walking towards you and you twig ah I should approach her but by that point shes already gone past you so you kind of do have to run after her especially at my level I can’t approach women at the drop of a hat takes a couple of seconds for the cogs to get moving. I mean I could follow her until I get the opportunity to stop her more from the side or directly in-front but I’m pretty sure you’re not advocating stalking in a shopping mall either lol.
-James
Hey James
This is why we have our programs mate.
In Mastery Methods & Mindsets http://store.themodernman.com/in/33523d3 – we teach you how to approach instantly, instead of getting lost in the moment due to fear, insecurity, nervousness, etc and losing your opportunity.
What you’re experiencing is common. We’ve already worked out all the answers and solutions. It’s up to you if you are willing to learn though. Our programs will be here waiting for you and when you do learn, you will likely feel how most guys feel who delay learning from us – you’ll regret wasting time thinking about it and will saying, “Why didn’t I get started earlier? This stuff is awesome!”
Check out the comments from customers on this page to see what I mean: http://www.themodernman.com/success/modern-man-success-stories.html
Cheers
Dan
You are right about the confidence. I screwed up and tripped when I was going to meet a girl. It went downhill from the trip.
Hey Sal
It didn’t need to go downhill. You could have remained in control and simply laughed in a light-hearted way and said something like, “They call me Mr. Smooth” and she would have laughed at the situation. She would have also been impressed and attracted to your ability to be confident and easy-going about it in the moment.
Cheers
Dan