Can you get the spark back in a relationship that has become boring?
It is possible to recharge your sexual desire for each other and then build on it from there?
The answer to both questions is a definite, “Yes!”
What You Need to Do
Getting the spark back in a relationship with a woman is mostly about what you say and do around her.
It’s not about how you look, although there is nothing wrong with trying to get into better shape or improve how you look.
A woman’s attraction for a man is mostly based on how he conducts himself in life, at work, around friends and family and of course, around her.
As a man, it is your responsibility to get the spark back in a relationship if your woman isn’t taking on the responsibility herself.
Some women will take on the responsibility, but most women will simply wait for you to take the lead and fix the relationship.
She will wait and if nothing changes, she will begin to lose respect for you, feel less attraction for you and then begin falling out of love with you.
The Start of a Relationship is the Easy Part
When you first meet a woman and begin a relationship, it’s easy to feel great and get along because you’re so attracted to each other and are enjoying the novelty of being with someone new.
The sex is fun and enjoyable, you have so much to talk about and there are so many things that enjoy doing together.
You make time for each other, compliment each other and you both couldn’t be happier.
Yet, as time passes, other things seem to take on more significance in your life and going to the same old places often begins to feel a little boring.
Before you know it, your fantastic relationship goes from sizzling to fizzling and your exciting sex life begins to feel like a distant memory.
So, how do you get the spark back in a relationship when you reach that point?
More importantly, how do you maintain the sexual spark and make it grow over time?
Simple: You have to actively say and do the things that will reignite her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you.
If what you’ve been saying and doing around her hasn’t been achieving that, you need to change it.
You can’t keep doing the same old things and expect your relationship to feel exciting and alive.
For example: If you’ve gotten into the habit of getting angry or annoyed with your girlfriend or wife, you have to change that and bring back a more easy-going, loving and harmonious dynamic in the relationship.
Here’s an example of how to do that:
As you will learn in the video above, problems in a relationship are not all a man’s fault.
In many cases, a woman will be the instigator and the person who creates a problematic dynamic and the man will then go along with it.
However, just because she does that, it doesn’t mean that it’s completely up to her to fix it.
Some women will fix and improve themselves on their own, but in most cases, a woman needs a man to react to her in such a way that it causes her to change.
In the example from the video, rather than getting angry at her for not wanting to go and watch a movie and saying that movies are boring, a man can simply avoid getting dragged into the drama and let her realize (in her own time) that she was acting up.
It’s not the man’s fault that she behaved in that way, but the problems in the relationship (i.e. a lack of a spark) will be partially his fault if he allows himself to get dragged into the drama that she is creating.
Avoiding a Break Up or Divorce
Unfortunately, break ups and divorce are no longer seen as shameful to most people.
In today’s society, TV talk show hosts, movie stars and pop singers often glamorize the idea of break ups and divorce.
In effect, they make it look like a “cool” thing to do.
Yet, if you are interested in getting the spark back in your relationship, you are probably trying to avoid being dumped or divorced, right?
You don’t want to end up being single and alone again, right?
If you want to keep your relationship together, be sure to avoid the following 3 mistakes from now on…
3 Common Mistakes That Kill the Spark
Keeping the spark alive in your relationship is possible and even easy, as long as you avoid making classic mistakes like these:
1. Making her feel unattractive
Most women feel insecure about their physical appearance even when they are at their prettiest.
According to a global study conducted by Dove Cosmetics, 96% of women don’t consider themselves to be beautiful.
So, if your girlfriend, fiance or wife doesn’t feel sexy in your eyes, she will either lose interest in having sex with you, reject your attempts to have sex with her or even try to make herself feel better by flirting with other men, which may lead to her cheating.
The way to prevent this problem is to look at your woman as being attractive for who she is and how she looks overall.
Don’t focus in on one or two features that have changed since you got together and that you now don’t like (e.g. that she’s put on a bit of weight or has some wrinkles).
Continue to look at her as the sexiest woman on Earth in your eyes.
Let her feel it by the way you look at her, touch her and treat her.
2. Hiding from your true potential as a man behind her and the relationship
When a relationship begins, a woman won’t mind so much if you spend a lot of time with her.
She will enjoy all the affection and attention that you’re giving her.
However, after the initial feelings of excitement wear off, she wants to see that you are going after your true potential as a man with unrelenting determination.
If she notices that you’re stuck in a dead end job and are always complaining about it, but not doing anything to improve your situation, it will make her lose respect for you.
Likewise, if you have a big dream to follow a certain career path or achieve something that you’ve wanted to do since you were a young man, but aren’t doing it because you’re afraid to step up to the plate, it will also make her lose respect for you.
When a woman loses respect for a man, she then begins to lose her feelings of attraction for him.
Then, if the man notices that and begins to behave in a clingy, insecure or needy way, it makes the woman lose even more respect and attraction for him.
At that point, the spark really begins to die out and the love fades into the background.
Even though the relationship started out well, the woman now starts to feel like she has made a mistake.
She will then often begin to nag and complain to her man that he just sits around doing nothing.
If he doesn’t ever change, she may eventually get to the point where she asks for a divorce, breaks up with him or says that she needs time and space to find herself.
As a man, you have to decide what you want long term and then go after that with unrelenting determination.
You’ve got to have the balls to think big and go after your true potential or at least follow through on your biggest dreams.
If you don’t do that, you run the risk of becoming the sort of man who develops an unreasonable need for his woman.
Your life becomes about her and if she pulls back her affection or interest at any point, you become insecure, angry or clingy, which then turns her off even more.
Going after your true potential in life is a good thing for you and for her.
So, step up and be the man that you know you can be, even if you are afraid to do it.
Allow her feel respect for you, not look down on you and feel regret that she ever agreed to be in a relationship with you.
3. Not flirting
Flirting isn’t something that guys are taught in school, or even by their parents.
Yet, it’s something that is absolutely critical for keeping the spark alive in a relationship.
If you’re not flirting with your woman, then you are denying her the kind of sexual, romantic communication that she craves.
If you can’t give it to her, she will definitely get from another guy (e.g. a coworker, a male friend who has a crush on her, one of your friends, random guys she meets, etc).
The Easy Way to Get Her to Love You Again
Getting her to love you, respect you, touch you and want you the way she did in the beginning, isn't difficult at all.
In fact, it's one of the easiest things you'll ever do.
So, if your woman isn't showing you the respect, love and affection you deserve, watch this eye-opening, life-changing video by Dan Bacon to find out what you've been missing.
You will discover what she has been WAITING for you to do, but will probably never tell you about.
It's so simple and it works.
Watch the video now to find out more...
My relationship is now over and I feel I still want to be with her and she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me but a friend so what should I do? Iv tried talking her out but she doesn’t understand what must I do please help
Hi MDU
Thanks for your question.
You could have made 1 of 100s of mistakes. You’ll only find out what all of those mistakes are if you learn from my programs.
However, I can tell you that she has lost attraction for you and has probably lost respect for you because you weren’t enough of a man for her. Tell me more about why you think she broke up with you and I’ll be able to reply with more specific advice.
Cheers
Dan
P.S. You should also read the comments and my replies here: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/can-you-get-your-ex-girlfriend-back.html
you shoud carry on from the friend base. “just a friend” sucks but a friend isn’t that bad. if you keep implementing the things that Dan speaks of and have a life outside of her maybe she’ll notice the new, sexier you and change her mind? and if she doesn’t at least you’ll have a life outside of her anyhow. just don’t
1. beg her
2. ask her what to do and
3. keep apologizing her saying it’s your fault etc. women hate that.
Hey Dan,
I’m 20 years old and I go to college. Having listened to Mastery Methods + read the flow, I feel confident in my ability to attract women. These products opened my eyes.
I’m facing a bit of a problem now thou. My small college-class consists of one other real high status guy, this guy, even though being unblessed with his looks, is good with the girls. His strenght lies mostly in being a great comedian. He is good at making all the girls laugh while still maintaining high status.
I’m a real fun guy myself, humor being one of my strong-points. But I just can’t compete with this guy, being around him (say for example, the class is gathered around a table for lunch) I seem to freeze, going quiet. This guy steals the show.
When he is not around though, I have no problem being the fun, charming guy. At these times I feel great. I’m confident I’m ahead of him in other areas of creating attraction, this guy, having worked with comedy, is just such a showstealer thou.
The two of us both being alpha, both trying to control – and be the leader of – the group. And on top of this not being very fond of each other. This makes for a tough situation.
How the heck do I go about this?
Oh yeah, there are several attractive girls in the group that are single, and so am I – and this guy aswell. (always good to clarify why I’m writing in the first place, right?).
Thanks!
/K
Hi K
Thanks for your positive feedback and question.
It’s great to hear that you’re now confident in your ability to attract women. As for competing with other alpha males, I explain all the mindsets, techniques and principles for that in Alpha Male Power. Your problem will be solved within the first hour of watching Alpha Male Power and you’ll then go on to learn many other important mindsets, techniques and principles that will ensure you don’t run into the problems other guys have in regards to being an alpha male or competing with other alpha males.
Cheers
Dan
good stuff. thanks
Hey Dan,
My girlfriend recently broke up with me because she “needs space”/”find herself”…We were living together and she moved out into her friends house but is still paying rent. The past 4 months I have been completely focused on school and nothing else. I am almost ready to graduate and I knew this was going to go one way or another when my semester started. Im not going to play the friend card which I get the vibe she still wants to be apart of my life somehow. What should I do? Its been 3 weeks since she left
Hi John
Thanks for your comment.
I’m not entirely sure how to reply to you because you haven’t made your intentions clear. What do you actually want to have happen with her? What is your ideal outcome, how possible do you think it is to achieve it and why?
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan
I’m now a confident guy, I can go to any women I want, thanks to your products, they really playing a huge part in my life and I’m really greatful for all that!! Now enjoying life having sex with girls and doing the romance all the time, but the only problem I have is I easily lose interests in Girls after having sex them and that lead them to walk away, not that I can’t take them back! But want to know what I should do, so that I don’t lose interests in them after sex?
Cheers
Hi Fofozaj
Great to hear about your success! Thanks for sharing.
Yes, you will naturally lose interest in having sex with most women. The only women you won’t lose interest in are those who REALLY turn you on and are exactly what you’re looking for. Read: Choosing a Sexually Satisfying Woman
When you find a girl you really like, you will love her and open up to the situation. As I explain in Better Than a Bad Boy, you can live your life in way that where you are fearless when it comes to love. However, you have to have the other things going on that I explain in the program. Sorry to be vague, but I can’t teach those secrets in the comments.
You’re doing the right thing by not falling madly in love with every woman you have sex with. However, if you want women to fall madly in love with you, you need to guide her into those feelings. Again, that’s the kind of thing I teach in Better Than a Bad Boy.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan, my gf broke up with me about a month ago because she was losing feelings. A week before the breakup she warned me that her feelings were lessening. But she was afraid to lose me. We broke up eventually and she was trying to get my attention, trying to look sexy for me a week after the breakup. Like u said in your article.
Then she stopped and I started to chase her. Now I realize it was a mistake. I messed up. It was originally a break because she wasn’t clear about her feelings towards me anymore. The right thing to do would be to give her space but I just kept bugging her and now I feel like I completely lost her. She doesn’t want to get back together but still wants the sex and be friends.I want her back but I don’t know if she has moved on or if I’m just there because she knows I will stick around. How do I get my power back? How do I build the romantic attraction again?
Hi Tim
Thanks for sharing your story.
In situations like this, the woman will often string the guy along until she finds a new guy. She’ll then say something like, “I am seeing someone else. I want you and I to be finished completely. It’s over. You need to respect that.” It sounds cruel, but both women and men do that to avoid feeling the pain of a break up. If you want to keep this relationship going with her and avoid her falling into the arms of another man (or men!), you need to get her to realize that she is losing a great man in you.
You can’t achieve that by explaining it to her, pleading or begging. She will only change the way she feels and realize that you are an amazing man if you think, behave and act like a real man. If you don’t know what that is, I recommend that you watch Better Than a Bad Boy. If you want to read a few more of my articles before you decide to invest in my tested, proven to work advice, here’s what I recommend for you:
1. Is She Still in Love With You?
2. Who Should Wear the Pants in a Relationship?
3. My Girlfriend Said She Needs Space
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan,
My ex and I went out for close to 4 months and it was amazing. We shared very good chemistry and we both got very comfortable with each other. Then out of nowhere 2 weeks ago she tells me that we need to end things. Now my ex suffers from depression and is seeing a therapist and is on medication as well. She wanted to be self reliant and focus on her career and that’s why she broke up according to her reasons. She also said that she’s been continuously in relationships since she was 17 years old and she needs a break from all this. According to her she has been depending a lot on other people for her happiness and she now wants to be self happy. She also said she wants to focus on her new job and career which by the way I helped her find. She however still wanted us to remain friends and I accepted that.
Now the confusing part is that she still calls me on a daily basis. We meet 1-2 times a week just as friends. Although its difficult for me to not act like her BF anymore I still go with it because I think she needs her space and time to figure things out. She’s also mentioned that she has been thinking about suicide as well and so I’m more worried about her. I don’t want to leave her when she’s at her worst because I’ve been with her when she was at her best and she’s amazing. I don’t want to abandon her when she’s going through this depressive state. I’m not sure if she’s seeing someone else or not. I asked her when we broke up and she said there is no one else. I just need to do this for myself.
How do I approach this situation? She went from being extremely caring and affectionate towards me to completely ending everything. She kissed me a day before we broke up and said everything was fine. Is this just her depression talking or did she really mean to break up with me? I’ve been trying to figure out what went wrong between us and I’m coming up with zilch. Nothing went wrong between us.
Would like to know some view points on this. Thanks!
Hi Mike
Thanks for sharing your story.
Here’s my assessment. The problem is either:
a) She always knew she’d break up with you and was just using you for a while. You thought things were great, but may lack the experience to know when a woman is truly committed to you and is truly in love.
b) You made her the focus of your life, rather than focussing most of your attention on rising through the levels of life and going after your true purpose…while also being affectionate, attentive, etc with her. Women are flattered by that initially, but turned off by it eventually. Why? I explain all that in Better Than a Bad Boy.
As to why she wants to keep seeing you as a friend. After all my experience helping 1,000s of guys with these types of situations, it sounds like she’s just doing that because:
a) She uses her wanting of her to make herself feel better.
b) She wants to string you along until she finds someone else. That way, she can be sure that she won’t experience a worse depression if it were you who found someone new first. Especially if you found a more beautiful woman.
c) She wants to let you down slowly and be there for you because she’s a caring person. However, to me, it sounds like she’s a bit selfish and is merely looking out for herself.
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan,
Am now 20 and have been single all my life.people say I’ve got good looks and it is true,i believe.growing up,I had this notion that since am cute and have great looks,girls are supposed to fall head over hills for me without me having to do anything.I only realised how wrong that notion was when I was in my late teens.now am doing university and am surrounded by ALL sorts of girls.classy and hot ones,cute and introverted and any type of girl that any guy could imagine.even here,folks comment about my good looks and I do catch a lot of “girls checkin me out” bt despite that,I still can’t get the type girls I like.this is probably because I was a very unsociable and introverted guy and didn’t like socialising let alone talk to people I already knew and so,girls used to get bored around me.am now more skilled socially and can get a girl to like me,thanks to your advice,but once the curiosity and novelty fades away,girls just get turned off which thing is taking a “huge” toll on my self-confidence and is making me hopelessly insecure.
Like this girl i was hitting on sometime back,I really loved her and is probably the only girl i have ever truly loved.she really liked me too but eventually,she got turned off.I remember her telling me just how boring it was being around me and how that am too girly and not manly enough and how much I needed to be a man if she was to like me any further.or this girl am currently hitting on.we were liking each other initially and seeing a lot of each other and “luckily”,i managed to get a kiss from her but now,we are not connected as much and I can obviously guess what’s going to happen next.i have lost count of how many girls have liked me but only to get turned off after the novelty fades cause they so many of them.plz help.
Hi GBWL
Thanks for sharing your story.
The solution for you is pretty simple: Watch Better Than a Bad Boy. You are acting like a girl and expecting women to feel attraction for you, just because you’ve got good looks. They want a man and unless you behave like one, they simply cannot feel sexual attraction for you.
Think about it…
Are you attracted to women who act like men? Like those butch lesbian women? You are to her what those women are to you. You feel NO attraction for butch, manly lesbians, right? If not, then realize how you are making women feel by acting like a girl!
Cheers
Dan
P.S. Since you’re a good looking guy, I’d also recommend you read this: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/articles/how-do-average-guys-get-hot-women.html
Hi Dan,
I am getting married soon and it seems like my fiencee doesnt want to have sex with me ever 🙁 I am a bigger woman and want to know what to do to keep this relationship from crashing? being sexual once every 6 or 7 weeks is starting to get to me as i am a very sexual woman.
Please help. Thank you
Hi Melissa
Thanks for your comment.
I’m not going to sugar coat this: Lose weight.
Overweight women are as unattractive to us men as insecure, nervous guys are to women. We men have to become confident, masculine and strong. You women have to be in excellent physical condition (including your natural, slim weight without all the extra pounds from indulging in sweets, bad foods, etc), be feminine and look as pretty as you can. If you don’t, we’ll dump you and go for a woman who knows how to be a woman. However, if you don’t want to lose weight, there will be plenty of desperate nervous guys who will give you a chance for a while just so they can get laid, but they’ll lose interest eventually like your fiance has because, regardless what Oprah said on her old show, fat is NOT attractive.
Cheers
Dan
Wish more women’s mag would tell this truth to women (and Im a woman). I gained freshamn 15 and lost it.. lose weight and if this guy still doesn’t want you go find someone new, much easier when you’re thin.. so it’s win-win to lose weight, just the blunt truth. Thanks Dan
Hi Dan,
I’ve been with my girlfriend for about 6 months and everything is amazing, we’re both in college and enjoy being with each other whenever. However, the other night after sex she told me that it’s predictable and not as exciting as it was when we met. She said it hasn’t been “boring” for too long she just doesnt feel a sexual spark like she did and i’ve noticed it as well with me recently. We’re in love with each other and our relationship is amazing in every other way, I just don’t know how or know what to do to get her to want me like she used to or to enjoy the sex to where she’s exhausted and satisfied afterwards? Any help would be great, I just need some tips or suggestions to spice it up so I can have her crave me more often. Thanks much 🙂
Hey Brandon
Thanks for your question.
I provide many examples and things you can do to spice up your sex life, in my program The Modern Relationship: http://store.themodernman.com/in/18c787c
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan
I first want to start off by saying that I am a woman. I know that your normal clients and followers are men so I would understand if you didn’t have much advice to give to me. But I have been reading some of your blogs and I came to the realization that you are a genius haha.
Let me start off by explaining my situation, I unfortunately can not give you many in depth details because I am weary of anyone finding this post.
I have a boyfriend, we’ve been together for over two years and we now live together. We share everything, money, cars, home, etc. When I first met him he was like an answer to my prayers, he gave me so much love and attention, he and I connected on a very deep level and I could really imagine being with him forever. But now, I find my self having to take care of him more and more. I have to force him to take care of his bills and paperwork. He is not motivated, he has a Job with good hours but seems to not take it seriously. Outside of his job and me, he doesn’t have any goals other than hanging out. I’m sick of it.
I may not be the perfect woman, I have challenges of my own but I feel as though I try to conquer my dreams. It seems as though he has no dreams.
I’m afraid to leave him because I don’t believe that he is strong enough to make it on his own. I also don’t know if I could really afford rent on my own.Basically, I feel very stuck. I don’t have much desire to be in this anymore. I want to change that. I care about my boyfriend, he’s a good hearted man with a lot of potential.
How can I help him help himself.
I would buy some of your DVD’s but being honest, I cant afford that. Plus, if I gave it to him I believe the gesture would upset him.
Hi J
Thanks for your comment and positive feedback.
Essentially, you just need to tell him exactly what you’ve told me. You have to say it all truthfully and directly, or else he won’t hear it. Tell him that, in order to maintain a woman’s attraction, respect and love in a relationship, a guy needs to be always becoming a bigger and better man than he already is. He can’t just sit back and think that his life is over. There are endless levels of potential he can rise into. Let him know how his lack of drive is affecting the way you look at him as a man.
Give him some time to think about that. If he doesn’t change, tell him that you want him to change or you will think about leaving. If that doesn’t make him budge, show him this video: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/the-3-stages-she-went-through-before-breaking-up-with-you.html You don’t have to buy my program for him – just show him what other guys are now going through (i.e. trying to get their ex back) after making the same mistake he has been making.
Cheers
Dan
Any advice for women in this situation? I’ve been withy boyfriend a year and the sex was always great but lately he has been into porn a lot, I’ve offered to join, but he claims he never watches
It and that would be weird… Lately I’ve been initiating and we are lucky if we do it 1x week. We discussed it many times but nothing is changing. Any advice?
Hey Tina
That’s a difficult one.
I wrote an article about the problem here: http://www.themodernman.com/blog/masturbation-overload-are-modern-men-masturbating-too-much.html
According to my live survey on the page, approximately 45% of guys are now masturbating every day. I’m not sure how he might take it, but you might want to show him my article and the survey results. It is becoming a problem for a lot of couples because guys are getting their fix by jerking off, instead of using their sexual energy on their woman.
Cheers
Dan