Is Porn Good For a Relationship?

Unless you and her are completely secure in your attractiveness to each other, porn will almost always cause insecurity that will lead to problems in your relationship.

If you’ve read a men’s magazine lately, browsed the “dating advice” section of a newspaper, watched a morning TV show or been listening to popular radio DJs, you may have heard the suggestion that you should use porn to “spice up your sex life.”

Yet, is it actually a good idea?

No.

For almost every couple, the introduction of porn to “spice up their sex life” has negatives consequences.

Think about it…

• How would you feel if you watched porn with your girlfriend/wife and every time a guy who was “well hung” came onto the screen, she said, “Wow” or gaped her mouth open in amazement?
• Would it make you feel inadequate if your girlfriend/wife said, “Ooooh” when looking at a porn video where a woman was in a threesome with two men?

Likewise, how about your girlfriend/wife:

• If she has smaller sized breasts and sees you getting really excited at the sight of women with bigger breasts, how sexy is she going to feel around you from then on?
• If your girlfriend/wife is white, but you get excited every time you see a black woman, do you think she will be suspicious, jealous and annoyed when you check out black women while out in public with her?

The Real Way to Keep the Spark Alive in Your Relationship

If you are concerned that she is getting bored of having sex with you or is losing interest in the relationship, you have to focus on deepening the love, respect and attraction that you feel for each other.

Most guys grow up never being taught how to attract women. They get lucky and begin a relationship with a woman who likes them, but after a while, the initial attraction fades away and the guy is left wondering what he can do to get it back.

If you’re in a similar situation now, don’t use porn to get the spark back. It won’t work. Making her feel attracted is based on what you say and do when you interact with her.

For example: Does she laugh, smile and feel good when interacting with you, or does she feel irritated, bored and unhappy most of the time? Does she still feel turned on by your behavior, body language and vibe or does she hardly feel anything around you these days?

Do You Masturbate Too Much?

Let’s face it…

There is a LOT of really good porn online for us men. It is very difficult to not be tempted to have a look at some of the sexy women in porn every now and then. However, if you want to spark to remain alive in your relationship, you have to be careful how often you look at porn.

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Every man goes through a cycle of building up sexual desire and then releasing it and if you’re in a relationship, the best place to release your sexual desire is with your woman. If you are constantly emptying out all the built up sperm into a tissue every week, you simply won’t have any built up sexual desire to release into your girlfriend.

If you are currently masturbating a lot and have found that your sex life with your girlfriend, fiance or wife has been diminishing, you should really try to cut it in half right away. When you are used to that, try to cut it in half again.

Cutting down on your use of porn won’t automatically make you want to have a lot of sex with your woman. What will make you want to have more sex with her is how you perceive her. Instead of looking at her and focussing on her faults, try to look at her in a way where you love her and feel attracted to the overall version of her.

If you spend too much time looking at porn and getting the exciting rush of feeling attracted to new women all the time, you may find it boring to have sex with your woman after a while. She won’t give you that rush of attraction that you feel for porn.

Pornography Vs. Real Sex

Recent statistics released in the US claim that the number of internet porn viewers averages 28,000 people every second. Approximately 95% of that would be men.

Porn has always been directed towards men because men feel an intense attraction to a woman’s physical appearance. Some women do watch porn these days, but they focus less on the physical appearance of guys and more on what the guys are doing.

For example: When a woman masturbates, she usually imagines sexual scenarios that turn her on. If she is fantasising about her boyfriend or husband, she will imagine them having passionate sex and really connecting in a deep, loving and erotic way.

If she is fantasising about having sex with another man or other men, she will often imagine being taken advantage of or being forced to have sex against her will. Of course, most women will never, ever admit that in public, but they do fantasize about that sort of thing, just like how some men fantasize about doing all sorts of weird, strange and even “wrong” things with women.

These days, men have access to sexually explicit images of all types of women, in all types of sexual situations. Pretty much every fantasy that a guy has about women is just a few clicks away in a porn video. However, just like some people now overuse the availability of food and become obese and unhealthy, the same applies to the availability of porn.

To remain healthy and balanced, you have to use porn (and comfort foods) in moderation. If you eat too much, you will become overweight. If you masturbate to porn too often, you will lose touch with your attraction for your woman and begin to feel more attached to the secret life of masturbation that you indulge in whenever she isn’t looking.

To keep a relationship with a woman together for life, you have to let her be the receiver of the majority of your sexual energy. You have to stick your boner into her and let her feel your desire for her. If you don’t do that, it’s only natural that you and her will begin to drift apart over time.

Should You Watch Porn With Your Girlfriend, Fiance or Wife?

In my opinion, there is absolutely no need to introduce porn into a relationship.

You can do it if you want to, but both you and your woman need to be completely confident in your attractiveness to each other. If you see her getting excited at the sight of a huge cock, will you begin to feel insecure about the size of yours?

If you notice that she prefers scenes where a woman is getting two dicks in her at once (double penetration), are you going to feel like you alone are good enough for her?

For most couples, introducing porn into their relationship usually leads to insecurity. They no longer feel like what they are doing for each other is exciting enough, which then begins to ruin the closeness they once felt during sex.

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