If you and your girlfriend are thinking of moving in together, but you’re not quite sure if now is the right time, try asking yourself the following questions first.
Are you friends, as well as lovers?
If you’ve reached the stage in your relationship where moving in together feels like a natural progression, then it’s safe to assume that you do love each other, but do you really, really like each other?
If the sexual attraction wasn’t there, would you still like your girlfriend for just being who she is? Does she have the same qualities that you would look for in a great friend? When lust is a big part of the equation, the little things that would make or break a platonic friendship are often completely overlooked.
When your friends have stayed over at your place in the past, you might have found yourself feeling irritated by some of their domestic habits and then realized how glad you were that it was just for one night!
When your girlfriend stays over, she may have some of the very same habits, but if you’re still in the lust stage of the relationship you might overlook them because it’s her and you’ve got other things on your mind! But, how would you feel about it when it’s not just for one night?
Before moving in together, you need to consider how strong your friendship is with your girlfriend and whether you really do enjoy each others quirks. Can you talk to her about all the things you’d talk about with your friends? Are you able to just be yourself around her – all of the time?
Are your reasons the right ones?
It’s quite likely that your main reason for thinking about moving in together is simply that you want to be able to spend more time together. However, another common scenario is that moving in together represents a financial saving for you both.
If that’s your main motivation, you need to consider how strong your relationship really is because sleeping with each other every night may eventually lead to a pregnancy and if you don’t truly love her, you’ll be attached to her for life whether you like it or not.
Moving in together should be about taking the next step in your relationship and you should be at a stage where you’re thinking in terms of your girlfriend being a permanent presence in your life.
If you’re more concerned with saving rental costs and splitting bills and you’re thinking in terms of ‘she’ll do for now,’ you should share a house with a friend or advertise online for free to get new tenants in to share the rent with you.
Are you ready to give up your independence?
Quite often, when you reach the stage of thinking about moving in together, you already spend the majority of your time together anyway, so it feels like the next logical step.
When that’s the case, it does make sense to share one place together instead of always having to travel to each others house to meet.
When two homes become one, your independence is reduced. You can longer come and go as you please without letting her know where you’re going and when you’ll be back.
Sure, you can still have independent interests as a couple and still do your own thing with your friends whenever you want, but moving in together means it isn’t as easy to chill out alone for hours and take your mind off things when you need to. Making the decision to move in together means that you need to become with being two people in one shared space.
Are you truly compatible?
When you live together, compatibility goes way beyond liking the same restaurants or sharing an interest in the same kind of music.
If she’s going to move into your place, what’s coming with her? For example, she may have an old iron bedstead that belonged to her great-grandmother, a collection of scatter cushions that could fill a soft furnishings store and three cats, but your pad is furnished in an ultra-modern, ultra-sleek minimalist style – now what?
While you might be happier with none of her stuff coming in and ruining your cool pad, people often compromise and mix each others styles together. However, if you are truly compatible, you’d like the same sort of things and wouldn’t need to change.
Make sure you are just settling for a woman because you’re afraid you can’t find another. Meeting and attracting new women is actually very easy when you know how.
Do you both have a shared vision for your future?
To answer this question, you have to know what your vision is for your relationship as well as what your girlfriend’s vision really is in her heart of hearts.
If your ultimate goals are not shared, moving in together can only lead to heartache for one or both of you further down the line. For example: If your vision is to one day live in a city penthouse apartment, but hers is to move into a leafy suburb, you’re aiming for polar extremes in terms of lifestyle.
If you both share a vision of traveling the world together or buying a country home together or one day starting a family together, then moving in together is a positive step towards making your future vision a reality.
Additionally, if you and your girlfriend haven’t even spoken about your future dreams together, it is definitely not the right time to move in together.
If you do, you run the risk of making her pregnant and ending up as a single dad. While that isn’t so bad for a lot of guys, it certainly isn’t at the top of our list of things to do, so if you can avoid it – you should try to do so.
Does she feel more respect, love and attraction for you now than ever before?
In today’s world, a man needs to be able to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for him in a relationship. In the past, a woman would put up with not feeling more (or even any) respect, love and attraction for her man because it was shameful to break up or divorce.
Not anymore.
If you want your relationship to be successful in the long run, you must at least know how to deepen her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you. Watch this video for more info…
Taking a chance
You never really know whether your relationship is destined to last, but if you do have doubts try not to move in.
If you feel that this relationship is for keeps, then living together is a positive step towards building a stronger, more loving and long-lasting relationship and you should go ahead and take a chance.
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