My Girlfriend Said She Needs Space

Has your girlfriend recently said any of the following to you?

“I need some space.”
“I need time to find myself.”
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
“I don’t know what I want. I need time alone to think about it.”
“I need to find out if I really want to be with you.”
“I think we should have a break for a while.”
“I want some space, but I don’t want to break up.”

What made her feel as though she needs space from her relationship with you?

Your girlfriend probably began the “I need some space” conversation by saying, “We need to talk…” or “I need to talk to you about something,” which most-likely made you feel sick to the pit of your stomach.

All of a sudden, you went from feeling safe and relaxed around your girlfriend to that horrible feeling of panic where you know that you are losing something that is extremely important to you.

You can see it in her eyes that she no longer looks at you in the same way.

You and her have gone from being in love to feeling disconnected like a couple of strangers.

It’s a horrible experience to go through as a guy, especially when you don’t know how to fix it.

Don’t worry though…

You can definitely turn things around and change her mind. In fact, you can make your girlfriend feel like she’s made a huge mistake by even thinking about losing a great guy like you.

When she has that realization, she will come running back to you saying that she misses you and wants to give it another chance.

5 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Might Need Some Space

There are many reasons why a woman will ask for space from a guy, but here are 5 of the most common reasons…

1. She wants to find a replacement guy before really breaking up with you

Instead of coming right out and saying, “I want out.

This relationship is over and I am never, ever going to get back with you” some women will keep you on the side until they find a replacement guy.

When she finds a guy to replace you, she will then come right out and tell you, “I’m in love with him and I want to be with him” and may even tell you that she’s been having sex with him to really hurt you emotionally.

A woman will sometimes use this approach because she doesn’t want to go through the pain of seeing you hook up with a new woman before she finds a new guy.

She wants you to be the one who is hurting because she moved on before you did.

A woman like that will string you along and pretend that there’s still a chance for you as a couple (e.g. “I want space, but I’m scared of losing you. I just need some more time…”) and then suddenly turn around and say, “There’s something that I have to tell you.”

She’ll say sorry for not telling you sooner, but she will explain that she is now in love with another guy and that you and her are finished for good.

It sounds cold I know, but that’s what many people do to each other at the end of a relationship to avoid being the one who is in pain.

2. She’s bored

If your girlfriend has said to you that she needs some space or needs some time to find herself, it can often just mean that she’s bored of how the relationship makes her feel.

Maybe you have:

Gotten into a routine and haven’t been doing many exciting things lately.
Been taking her for granted and just expecting that she will stick around, even though the relationship doesn’t feel as good as it once did.
Give her the type of sexual experience that she was hoping to have with you.
Stopped doing the things that made her feel attracted to you in the first place.

Just because things felt great between you at the start, it doesn’t mean that she will be willing to put up with a relationship that has lost it’s spark.

To keep a relationship together, you have to deepen a woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for you over time.

Just because things were good at the start, it doesn’t mean she will stick around for life if you aren’t able to make her feel attracted to you.

3. You haven’t done what is required to make her want to settle down with you for life

It doesn’t matter if a woman is 20, 30, 40 or 50 – she will settle down with a guy who makes her feel the way she really wants to feel.

When a guy deepens the love, respect and attraction that a woman feels for him over time in a relationship, she will not want to break up him. A relationship that gets better and better over time stays together for life.

Personally speaking, I met my wife when she was 20 and I was 35.

We got married this year (I’m now 37 and she’s 22). No other guy that she’d met prior to me had ever made her feel like she wanted to settle down for real.

The reason why she settled down with me is that I’ve been able to deepen the love, respect and attraction over time in our relationship, rather than it fading away like it does for most couples.

Our relationship literally becomes more and more enjoyable over time.

This is something that you can do as well.

If you currently don’t know how to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for you over time in a relationship – you have to take the time to learn it.

In today’s world, you have to know how to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for you over time.

If you don’t do it and simply expect that a woman will stay with you because things felt good at the start, a woman will eventually dump you.

In the past, a woman would stick with a man for life even if she was unhappy because it was shameful to get divorced.

However, in today’s world, you have to know how to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for you over time. If you don’t know how to do that, you can’t expect a woman to want to stay with you for life or even for many years.

The relationship needs to get better and better over time. If it doesn’t, she isn’t obliged to stay with you. The society around her tells her that if she isn’t happy with a guy, it’s fine to leave him and move on.

When your girlfriend watches TV, movies or listens to pop songs, she is constantly being told that it’s okay to dump a guy and move on. It sucks, but it is the kind of world that we live in today.

Your girlfriend has asked for some space from you, so you need to see this as a wake up call.

It is a huge opportunity for you to improve your ability to make her feel love, respect and attraction for you and become an even better man that you are right now.

If you don’t change your approach to make her feel differently, you can’t expect her to want to get back with you or to stay with you for very long if the relationship does get back together temporarily.

4. She doesn’t want to accidentally become pregnant to you

If your girlfriend has lost respect and attraction for you, she will automatically begin to feel worried about falling pregnant to you.

She knows that if she gets pregnant to you, it will mean that you’ll always be a part of her life.

If she is the type of woman to worry about an unwanted pregnancy, she will quickly lose interest in having sex and will then want to end the relationship as soon as possible.

She won’t want to risk having sex with you and then being stuck feeling unhappy for life.

The only way to change how she feels is to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.

If you keep making the same old mistakes that have caused her to lose respect and attraction for you, her sexual desire for you will be minimal or non-existent.

5. She doesn’t want to teach you how to be the man she needs

A woman doesn’t ever want to have to take on the role of being a guy’s mother or big sister in life. She doesn’t want to feel like she has to teach you how to be the man that she really needs.

We men are expected to know how to be a man and if we don’t know it, women simply reject us, cheat on us or dump us.

It may sound harsh, but it’s just the way nature works.

Some guys are lucky enough to grow up with a father or male role model who is capable of teaching them how to be a man.

However, the majority of guys these days never get taught what it really means to be a man.

Most guys never know how to make a woman feel like a real woman in a relationship.

They might hear some asking, “Where are all the real men?” and saying, “I want a man who makes me feel like a real woman,” but they never really understand what that means.

100 or 200 years ago, men didn’t have to worry about this sort of stuff.

In the past, women needed men and had to get married and then stay with a man for life. If a woman was unhappy in her relationship, she couldn’t do anything about it.

Not anymore.

In today’s world, you’ve got to know how to be the man that women really want to be with.

If you don’t, women will break up with you after the initial lust has worn off, or when she gets to a point where she is sick and tired of not feeling enough respect and attraction for you.

What you need to know is that it is possible to be one of those couples that you’ve seen who’ve been together for 30 or 40 years and are still madly in love. You’ve seen couples like that, right?

Even though they’ve been together for decades, they still hold hands, laugh and smile together, kiss and hug.

That is what’s possible when you know how to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for you over time in a relationship.

Can You Give Your Girlfriend Space Without Fully Losing Her?

Yes.

However, the most important thing that you need to do is work out how you are going to make her feel respect and attraction for you the next time you interact with her.

If she contacts you after having some space from you and discovers that you still don’t understand how to be the type of man that she needs you to be, she will want to remain broken up.

While giving her space, you have to focus on fixing your issues (e.g. insecurities, clingy behavior, etc) and improving yourself (e.g. becoming more of an alpha male, becoming more of a man, getting clear on your life purpose).

You have to get to the point where you don’t NEED need her in your life, but you do WANT her in your life.

When your girlfriend sees that you don’t need her and have been improving yourself and moving forward in life, she will naturally begin to regain some of her respect and attraction for you.

Then, she will begin to worry that she is losing a great man and will reach out and contact you in some way.

However, if she notices that you are still making the same old emotional mistakes (e.g. being insecure, lacking masculinity) and need her in your life so you feel secure, it will turn her off on a deep level.

A woman never wants to be your primary purpose in life.

She wants you to love her, want her, respect her and appreciate her, but not need her.

If you don’t really know how to attract women and simply got lucky when you scored your girlfriend, it’s only natural that you might get to the point where you feel like you need her for your emotional security.

If you want to get to the point where you want her, but sincerely do not need her, you have to improve your ability to attract women in general.

When you know that most of the women you meet feel attracted to you and are interested in you, the need for your girlfriend decreases.

You will still want her in your life, but you won’t need her.

When your girlfriend notices that, she will naturally feel more attracted to you again. She will most-likely test you by showing interest in getting back together and then changing her mind to see how you react.

If you sincerely don’t need her and only want her, she will feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.

How Much Time and Space Should You Give Her?

Over the years, a lot of guys have asked me, “Dan, my girlfriend said she needs space. How long do I give her?” and my answer is always, “You won’t get her back by giving her time and space. You will get her back when you make her feel respect and attraction for you again.”

I highly recommend that you don’t waste too much time giving your girlfriend space, because it usually just gives the woman plenty of time to move on.

What you need to do is get her to meet up with you and then make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.

Sometimes, a woman will get lonely and contact her guy if he gives her space, but it will NOT fix the real reasons for the break up.

Your girlfriend will have broken up with you because she doesn’t fully respect you as a man and doesn’t feel enough attraction for you right now. That is what you need to fix and giving her space will NOT fix that.

If you don’t begin making her feel respect and attraction for you in new ways, she may give you another chance if she is unable to find a new guy.

However, she will just break up with you again when she feels emotionally ready, or she’ll string you along until she finds a new guy to replace you.

The Easy Way to Get Her to Love You Again

Getting her to love you, respect you, touch you and want you the way she did in the beginning, isn't difficult at all.

In fact, it's one of the easiest things you'll ever do.

So, if your woman isn't showing you the respect, love and affection you deserve, watch this eye-opening, life-changing video by Dan Bacon to find out what you've been missing.

You will discover what she has been WAITING for you to do, but will probably never tell you about.

It's so simple and it works.

Watch the video now to find out more...

Maintaining a Great Relationship With a Woman

Is My Girlfriend Going to Break Up With Me?

Maintaining a Long-Distance Relationship: 4 Things You Must…

Should I Trust My Wife When She is Asking For Time Apart?

Author: Dan Bacon

Dan Bacon is a relationship expert and is happily married. He has helped men from all over the world to easily fix relationship problems with a girlfriend, fiancé or wife and he can help you too. He has also discovered the hidden secret to making a relationship or marriage last for life. Watch this free video and he will share the secret with you.

105 Comments

Kevin

I am suffering the opposite, my girlfriend is always in top of me, and she doesn’t give me time to do the stuff I like, and when I tell her I need some time for myself in a calm, confident way, without fighting nor anything, she like, blows up and gets super angry with me simply because I wanted three to four hours of rest for myself, she even rejects my calls when I call her, it’s really a bad thing, and she reaches the level she starts insulting me. Sometimes I think I have an obsessive girlfriend. Dan, you are to me the greatest dating advicer in the world, how can I deal with such a very hard event? Should I break up and look for another girl to talk to?
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hi Kevin
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  No, you shouldn’t break up with her. Use this as an opportunity to grow and become a stronger man. You need to use the approach I talk about in Better Than a Bad Boy. When you do, your woman will be respectful and on good behavior at all times. In this comment, I’m not going to explain how you can turn that around because it takes a while to explain. Better Than a Bad Boy is 10 hours and 50 minutes of video for a reason! Lol…
  
  Cheers
  Dan
tommy

My gf left me because she said she couldn’t handle being a mom again. I have a 7 year old daughter. We talked about that in the beginning she said it was no problem. We lived together for months . We only dated for 7 months . We did everything together. Then all of a sudden she said she could do it. We were looking at house to buy for us and all. she says sbe loves me and theres nothing wrong with me at all. She just cant help tbat feeling. She already raised 2 girls 18 and 20. I sti lived with her as normal for a month Trying to find a place to go. We still slept together and everything .
How do I get her back?
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hi Tommy
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  A woman won’t put up with extra stresses in a relationship, UNLESS she is madly in love with the guy, fully respects him, feels intense attraction for him and truly loves him. If you are more in love with her than she is with you, more attracted to her than she is with you, etc, then she is going to feel like not only is she putting up with a less than desirable man, but she has to take care of his child as well.
  
  My advice to you would be to learn what makes a woman fall madly in love with a guy and how to ensure she retains that feeling. My advice for it is in Better Than a Bad Boy.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Jarrett

After reading countless stories and what to do in a break up situation I have found someone to spill my story to. I met my girlfriend when she was 19 and I was 24. We have been together for a little over 3 years. I was at a point in my life when we first met that I had partied and did my fair share of partying and sleeping with random women, I was ready to settle down. She was never a big party person, a slutty girl and wanted a stable man who had a good job his own house ect. She basically moved in within 3 months of dating and we lived together ever since. Our sex life was good, I was more experienced in bed then she was but she was so beautiful and hot it didn’t matter. After about 6 months into the relationship I started to feel smothered she was the first girlfriend I lived with and I even rejected sex at times because she would initiate while I was doing something that didn’t involve paying attention to her. We fought a little bit during this point in our relationship because I started partying with friends again and she thought I drank to much. I knew I loved her so I decided to buy a dog and move a little bit away from my friends who were a bad influence and didn’t like seeing their buddy leave them for a girl so she never felt accepted by them. Well we lived together for the next 2 and a half years all the while her sex drive diminished more and more as time went on. We ended up moving back closer to friends and family about a year ago and it all went down hill from there. We had some financial problems for a little while but worked through it but I started to feel like a bad man and a bad provider for the life we were trying to build. We talked about marriage a lot the first 2 years and I was ready until one night she blew up saying she didn’t want to get married yet. That’ was a year ago but we tried to work things out. In February this year one day I came home and she said she was leaving she packed her clothes and left her other things to stay at her fathers house, where she hates being. Of course I begged and pleaded with her to come back, even crying, which I tried to never do in order to not appear weak. She did come back but things have never been the same I told her I bought a ring in January and she shouldn’t go. At this time I told her our sex life is really starting to take a toll and I told her I would not cheat, which I did not and I know she hasn’t either she loves me to much. So I quit drinking because that was a request of hers but the sex never got better almost 2 months went by and she would barely touch me except a kiss when we left for work or went to bed, no cuddling or hugging or any physical contact. I sat and talked with her many times about this over the coming months as that was my biggest concern. Within the most recent 2 months I have given up and we both sat down last week and agreed we weren’t happy and our initial reaction was to just end things cordially. The problem is she stayed for 10 days after that and I just wanted to move on she slept on the couch and I stayed in the bedroom. She finally moved out 10 days later. Now that she moved all her things out and after talking she has been stand offish and cold but over that period I realized I really didn’t want her to leave and I wanted to work on things, of course putting myself out there. Her mind was pretty made up at least a month before this talk I could tell she want happy and she always says I took away from her 21 I want to party times in her life and I understand because I did get to do that and she didn’t. The problem is I know she doesn’t like to party and she is shy in bed and does not really want a new partner or maybe she does and I don’t realize. She has recently become more active on Facebook posting pictures of herself and not us like she used to. I always said Facebook is the devil of relationships. Either way she has been putting herself out there and I know it’s to see if other men are interested, she is very pretty and will get a one night stand if she wanted one but maybe I haven’t made her feel comfortable in bed or she will say she hates herself and her body. Now she moved out 5 days ago and we haven’t spoken since, yesterday she put a picture up of her stomach because she’s working out. I instantly deleted her, my family and friends all saw this post and called me saying it was classless. Just to clarify I do love this girl and I want to make it work, I know I am not supposed to contact her and let her come back to me. My fear is her never coming back I don’t want to let her go and I don’t see other women the way I see her. It may be my fault that i didn’t make her feel sexy or appreciated but I only wanted this break because I wasn’t happy about our sex life. She was unatracted to my drinking, which let me tell you isn’t as bad as she makes it out to be and I told her if it helps fix us then I wouldn’t drink but she has to figure out the sex part. Unfortunately I do know this is the women I want to spend the rest of u life with. I am 28 now and she is 23. I know her so well that she wants to get married and have kids ect. How do I go about this, obviously I am the one hurting here and not her. She says she wants this time to figure out who she is and what she wants and she isn’t interested in meeting a man but I know she liked an ex boyfriends page before I deleted her, he was an asshole to her. I would have a very hard time ever dating her again if she slept with another man especially that we had had sex in 4 months before the break. All my friends tell me I am to good of a guy and I know good guys always finish last and girls are attracted to a strong man. The ball was always in my court and she knows it is in her court right now, what do I do? Thank you
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hi Jarrett
  
  Thanks for sharing your story.
  
  Well, let me say first that it sounds like you did some thing right in the relationship. You certainly aren’t clueless with women.
  
  However, this is a case of having your judgement clouded by your emotions and perception of reality. Let’s look at both of those individually:
  
  1. Emotions.
  
  When humans are faced with am emotionally-challenging situation, they go through an emotional process of recovery. I’ll put the emotions in italics so you can see what I mean.
  
  In your current state of despair, you’re going to need to go through the process of recovery until you again reach an emotional state of happiness. Ahead of you will be feelings of jealousy, which you are feeling now when you see her post pictures up on Facebook or click “like” on things to do with her ex-boyfriend. Then, you’ll probably want to make yourself better by feeling the emotions associated with revenge, by hooking up with another woman who is hotter than her and posting those photos up on Facebook. Then, you’ll probably feel a bit discouraged because you’ll realize that it didn’t fix your hurt completely, so you’ll begin to worry if things are ever going to get better. You might then feel a bit disappointed or frustrated about the whole thing, until you eventually get to the point where you feel bored of thinking about her/feeling for her. You’ll then feel quite content about your situation and will be willing to move on. You’ll start feeling hopeful about the future, without her in it. You’ll feel optimistic and begin to expect good things to happen to you again, like falling in love and being happy with a new woman. You’ll become enthusiastic, you’ll feel passionate about new women and then once you find a great new woman, you’ll feel happy again.
  
  2. Perception of reality
  
  Humans only know what they know. At the age of 28, you really don’t know the YOU that is ahead of you and how your life will unfold. Right now, you feel that you’ve got it all worked out for YOU. You want her, you want a relationship and marriage with her and you think that it will make you happy for LIFE (even though you and her have stopped having sex and aren’t fully attracted to each other anymore. Note: Without sexual attraction and sex, it’s just a friendship. A successful, happy and fulfilling marriage is not just a friendship, it’s also a sexual relationship).
  
  You are going to learn more about yourself and life as the years unfold. Right now, I’m 35 and when I experienced what you did at age 23, I thought I had it all figured out too. I thought she was the one for me and I should keep trying to make it work. However, I eventually realized that a successful relationship (the type of relationships that I’ve had since discovering what I now teach at The Modern Man. BTW: The ONLY reason my relationships have ended is because my girlfriends have wanted to start a family with me/marry me and I am not ready for that, so I break up with them) is one that is full of love, sexual passion, fulfilling companionship, personal growth, ecstatic laughter and respect.
  
  Let’s have a look at a couple of your comments:
  
  “I don’t want to let her go and I don’t see other women the way I see her.” One thing you’ll learn Jarrett is that each women you have a loving relationship will be special to you. You won’t look at women the way you see that woman. Even though you experienced a unique type of love with this girl, it does not mean you will not experience love again. You will experience a new, unique type of love with the next woman. Why am I talking as though you’re going to get with new women, instead of this one? Dude, you and her aren’t even sexually attracted to each other! You ended up in a neutral relationship, where you weren’t clearly the man. She bossed you around about stuff that really didn’t matter (i.e. your occasional drinking). Personally speaking, my girlfriend will happily sit there watching me play Xbox for 2-3 hours without complaint, because she knows I am a man of purpose. I am rising through the levels of life, I am reaching for my true potential as a man and I am not afraid of the world. I make things happen and when I work on my things, I really put in my heart and soul. So, if I want to chill out and play Xbox or have a drink, my girlfriend will be excited to sit with me. She’s just happy to be around me, no matter what I do.
  
  “Unfortunately I do know this is the women I want to spend the rest of my life with. “ Unfortunately, that’s you being clouded by your emotions and not being able to see beyond the current moment. She isn’t the right girl for you, period. The right girl for you is the one who will beg you to marry her and will worship the ground you walk on. Believe me, there are literally millions of women in this world who would feel like the luckiest woman on Earth to be your girlfriend. You’ve just got to have the confidence and belief in yourself to walk up and talk to them, then guide them through the process to kissing, sex and into an amazing relationship.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
  
  P.S. If you want to learn what I know, which makes women fall MADLY in love with me and makes their feelings of love, attraction and respect GROW over time, rather than fade away, I recommend you watch Better Than a Bad Boy. It’s not cheap to buy, but it will deliver you the priceless benefits of love, confidence and happiness for the rest of your life.
Andrew

Hey Dan,

Sorry for this long message, but I’m just confused and need to talk this out to someone I trust. If you can offer any tips or anything it would help. This is my first real GF, we have been dating for almost 2 months.

Last Friday my woman and I were out tubing down a mountain. We had a great time time and went for food at a formalish pub. She was making out with me at the table and it was getting pretty full on. She was getting a little out of hand (aggressive) and my back was hurting from tubing so I said something feels off, which it did. She persistently asked me if I was okay, over and over and it got annoying so I was just like, ‘I’m fine’ in a more negative tone. On the way back to the car she burst into tears and said I spoke like her ex husband. I lead her aside in between some cars so people wouldn’t see her, I hugged her and talked to her and apologized. We drove home and we went into my place and she said she was going home (we had a big night of sex planned). I made out with her at the door very passionately and told her I loved her, she said she loved me. She was crying a lot still. To make this complicated her best friend was *just* diagnosed with cancer and her husband left her when her mother was dying, this is all quite recent (within a year). I sent her an email the next day saying again I was sorry for how I spoke to her. She sent me back an email saying she needed some time to herself and would let me know when she would come by for another visit. She didnt leave any xo’s or anything like she usually does. I decided to give her space, but we haven’t been in any form of communication for 4 days. Normally I don’t think I would accept this type of behavior but I feel sympathy for her, yet I’m here left wondering whats going on and wondering if shes going to dump me.

Is there any tips or advice you can offer when a girl asks for time to herself?

Thanks
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hi Andrew
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  While it’s fine to apologize to a woman in this type of situation, she should also apologize to you for her over-reactive behavior. Don’t let her push you around like that and make you behave like her little puppy dog.
  
  Give her time for herself. Do not call, text or message until she does.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Marco

Hi people. Me and my girlfriend are been together for 6 years we started to date when we were in high school when she turn 18 we decide to have skid together Evrything was okay until she cheated on me and I was mad so I started to talk to girls she found out and we kept doing this to each other. She found out couple weeks I send a message to a friend and she decide to break up. We live in cal I had to leave the country for some personal prob. So the time on not with her I she told me that she’s been talking to this guy for couple moths and now she’s been goin to see him and she takes my kid with her now my son knows who the guy is and he buys him toys and I don’t like that. Well she tells me that she needs a break because she’s confuse but she’s need seen this other guy and when she goes out she invites him to go out with her they take pics together they already hook up and I don’t understand why she’s doing this that I’m not there. I would like to know what can I do to make her hange her mind to work things out with me she tells me their good friends and that’s it that they don’t think they be datting soon. But they still hooking up and she tells me she wants to keep talking to him and that she dosent want to deal with me or work things out it just confused because I’m not in town and I just think about what she’s doing this whole time I you guys can please help me. What do I do when my gf tells me she wants to be single but she’s been talking to other guy?
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hi Marco
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  This is a classic example of how most people need to have more than one relationship before settling down for life. Why? In the past, it was shameful to break up (especially if the couple had children like you and your girl have), but these days society doesn’t frown upon divorce or break ups anymore. If a woman is unhappy, she will just leave and hook up with another guy. It’s unfortunate that society has changed, but it has changed and we modern men need to adapt our ways to secure a successful relationship. In the past, a woman would put up with her man for life instead of facing the shame of a break up. She also would have needed him a lot more because she couldn’t earn money on her own. These days, women can make just as much money as men (or more) and are supported by government systems for single mothers. Women don’t need men as much as they used to, so you have to create a relationship dynamic where the woman WANTS to stay with you.
  
  Basically, you’ve made a mistake by starting a family so young and with such little relationship experience. You and your girl are going through natural changes that people in the early 20s go through where you start to work out what you really want from life. Right now, it seems like you and your girlfriend have different ideas of what life is about and how important it is to keep a relationship together. Read: The 5 Stages of a Relationship and Will My Relationship Last?
  
  If you want her back, you’re going to need to have the knowledge and skill to have a mature conversation about life, relationship values and your future together. If you make the mistakes I outline in this article, you will only push her further away: Can You Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back?
  
  Cheers
  Dan
George Stanley

Hi dan my girlfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. We are both in college. We met a few years ago and we liked each other since then. When came she went to the college I go to now and we met and got into in a relationship. We were happy at first then she started breaking up with me for stupid reasons and I didn’t know why. I keep on being with her because I love her. Oh yeah she is a only child she is 20 about to be 21. Im 21 about to be 22. Her parents love her very much and so do I. She told me that I get on her nerves. She also told me to give her space for a day. I did that then she got mad at me again. Now she said she need space for awhile. Should I be worried? Is this a breakup?
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hi George
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  Yes, she will want to break up with you soon if you don’t change. Basically, it sounds like you’ve made the mistake of making this girl the focus of your life and avoiding a lot of your true potential as a man because of it. Women don’t want men who try to hide from their purpose in life (or hide from rising through the levels of life and reaching their true potential as a man) behind a relationship with them. If you are just wanting to be around her all the time, she will feel that you are hiding from your potential behind her. It’s a deep turn off for women. 99.9% of women won’t be able to explain it like that and will instead say, “You’re getting on my nerves” or “Give me some space” or “Why are you always lounging around on the couch. Do something!”
  
  It also sounds like you’re not behaving like a masculine guy around her, which is why you’re getting on her nerves. If you don’t want this relationship to end, you’re going to need to change and become more masculine around her. I recommend that you watch Better Than a Bad Boy if you want to learn how.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Sam

Hi Dan,

I’ve been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years then
Last week she decide to break up with me because she wasn’t happy and that she had many family issues and needed time to find herself and to find why she was so depressed. Also she said we have been drifting apart and I never dealt like that and if we did it was because of school so we got busy. I am jet wondering what I should do because I love her and want her, she also told my mom that she stilled lOved me and missed me and still wanted me just she thinks this is for the best. Do yOu think I still have a chance with her and how do I get her back if I can?
Thanks
Sam
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hi Sam
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  Basically, your girlfriend has lost attraction for you. She’s probably also lost respect for you as a man, but I can’t determine that because you haven’t given me enough info in your comment. When a woman loses respect for a man (i.e. you don’t behave like a man and instead behave like a boy or behave in a feminine, cutesy way around her too much, etc), she will then lose attraction. When she loses attraction, she will then fall out of love with you.
  
  Put it this way, if your girlfriend was passionately attracted to you and looked up to you as her man, she would not be trying to get away from you. She would be drawn to you like a magnet. I can teach you to fix it, but my advice (which has taken 7 years of research, testing and application to perfect) is not free. If you watch Better Than a Bad Boy and follow the advice, she will then begin respecting you as a man again, feel deep, uncontrollable attraction for you and fall back in love. However, if you continue behaving like you have been around her, she is not going to change how she feels.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Michael

Hi Dan. I am in the middle of the hardest thing I have had to go through in my life. I am 20 and me and my girlfriend have been dating for two years. We met in high school and were high school sweethearts. We was each other first love and shared a connection that I have never experienced before.We were both self concious but could be completely open with each other. The past two monthes I started a sexual relationship with another girl and she didnt mean anything but sex to me. my gf eventually foundout and broke up with me right away. She didnt answer my calls for three days then eventually called me back after I emailed her. She was very defensive and all I did was apoligize. I called her the next night and she was still heated she eventually calmed down a tad bit but said she needed space and wouldnt agree to met with me in person until she was ready. She said she would always love me but she was no longer “in” love with me, but i dont know if she was just saying that out of anger. She said she promised she would meet with me eventually but she would have to be ready and she would let me know. The next afternoon I apoligized for pressuring and told her I would give her the space she needed. I explained how I have since changed. She emailed me back and said thankyou for apoligizing and she hopes I really am on the path to becoming a better person. Since then I have truely been working to better myself but cant get her off my mind. I caved today and sent her another email that said… “I know i said i wouldn’t email you again but something really exciting
happened in my life today and i just wanted you to know first. I now
feel stonger than ever and i know that whatever the outcome of me and
you ends up being, i will fine. I now see how you can remain strong no
matter what the given circumstances are. I just realized the honest
reason why i have loved you for two years. Thankyou for actually
giving yourself space so that you dont make important decisions out of
anger. I feel that you still care about me and that is why you are
giving yourself time to think. Dont be affraid with your feelings
towards me because now that i am medicated i am a lot calmer, i can
think things though first, and my emotions no longer get the best of
me. When you are ready to meet with me i cant wait to tell what
happened today. Feel free to just call if you want to just chat, it
can be about anything random.”. I havent gotten a reply and its killing me not talking to her everyday. What is the best way to get her back?

Thanks,
Michael
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Michael
  
  Thanks for sharing your story.
  
  Your e-mail to her was going quite well, but you lost me at “now that I am medicated.” Saying that doesn’t win you any “Wow, you’ve changed!” points. It just highlights to her that you’re unstable and, unlike other men, you need pharmaceutical chemicals to keep your emotions in check.
  
  About her saying that she wants to wait until she is ready. I have a sneaking suspicion that is because she wants to sleep with another guy first, so she at least gets even. Otherwise, she’s just going to be focussing on the fact that you cheated and she’s been loyal. She says that she’s no longer in love with you, which is true at the moment. However, you can get her love back. Getting it back is a 3-phase process. First you need to get her to respect you again as a man. When she respects you as a man, she will then begin feeling attraction for you again. When she feels attraction for you again, she will open herself back up to love.
  
  If you want her back, you’ve got to get your emotions under control naturally and without drugs. To do that, you simply need to understand how to be what women refer to as a “real man” and that is what I teach in Better Than a Bad Boy: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Zayvian

Hello Dan

The fifth point in this article seems very accurate for the reason i feel my ex left me, When we first met i was very driven, i was a British champion in my sport and had a good chance of making a fairly lucrative career out of it. Yet during my 20 month relationship ( Which was completely healthy and loving about 99.5% of the time) I stopped training as much, I vacated my status as British champion to pursue my sport in a different weight category but it never came to fruition, Purely as i found excuses. I behaved like this because she made me happy and no other reason, i felt i didn’t need anything else

Anyways what im asking is this, Will picking up My “status” within my sport attract her? I very much love what i do but i did get comfortable.

I have been hammering away at this endeavor for a few months now and the ball is really starting to get rolling.

Also, I have been approached by a few fitness magazines to do photos for there respective mags and Have a few interviews with local news for my sport. Do i want to be “broadcasting” these things to her? I want to show her im still the driven man she fell in love for but am very aware that there is a fine line between doing so and flat out just pushing it in someones face.

Thanks
Zay
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Zayvian
  
  Thanks for your message.
  
  Well, if your relationship was loving 99.5% of the time as you say and you’re also still quite successful, it doesn’t really count as you being a man who hides from the world behind a woman. A woman won’t break up with a man because he vacated his championship status and dropped down to simply being excellent at what he does. There has to be other reasons involved.
  
  Read these articles and let me know what mistakes you think you’ve made and where else you think your relationship went wrong:
  
  http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/who-should-wear-the-pants-in-a-relationship.html
  http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/should-men-do-housework.html
  http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/why-women-lose-respect-for-men.html
  http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/relationship-myths.html
  http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/how-to-spend-quality-time-with-your-wife-or-girlfriend.html
  http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/my-wife-doesnt-want-sex.html
  http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/can-you-get-your-ex-girlfriend-back.html
  http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/will-my-relationship-last.html
  http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/always-arguing-with-girlfriend.html
  
  If you get back to me with more info, we can get to more of the root causes for it and how you can get her back.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
  - Zayvian
    
    Hello Dan, Thank you for the response.
    
    At this moment i am not as successful as i was. Upon last speaking with her i had vacated my titles, lost contact with the people that had helped me get there and i was not taking the kind of care of myself that i usually do. ( exercise, diet, grooming). As i did get to comfortable and shouldn’t have put all my eggs in the relationship basket.
    
    In her eyes, on the career aspect of things and as a man as general she will have the impression im probably in the same place i was when she left me. Yet i have rebuilt the bridges, addressed my insecurity’s and am really focused on pushing it through and maintaining the confidence i always had prior to the breakup.
    
    Also, ill put more vital points in i think are important.
    
    During the breakup, I did become suspicious of her moves, as she was acting irregular and dis interested ( hiding her phone from me and hanging up on me when her “friends” came into ear fall, which she never used to do.)
    
    I did also play a rather pathetic victims role during the breakup, at the time i didn’t see why it was all happening, I tried buying her flowers, sending small gifts that had significance and special meaning between the two of us, Even recorded my own rendition of a song that was special to us on guitar for her….. I told her i didn’t want anyone else and wanted to be with her ( I know, total tool. Wont do it again 🙂 hah). Basically turned into a complete wimpy, needy man.
    
    Yet, prior to all this she was excessively insecure, She would get extremely jealous of the ring girls if they tried to contact me. ( i never gave my details out to these girls to contact me, they found me via facebook ) and ALWAYS wanted to be around me. Even stopped socializing with her friends purely as she didn’t want to leave me alone. However, I never tried to make her jealous, She had access to my phone and social media at any point she wanted it, so if she wanted to check up on me she could have ( and did fairly regular ).
    
    During the last few months of our relationship, with me switching management i wasn’t earning for a about 8 months. ( i had saving to tide me through but SHE was the one earning money ) I feel that during this time she lost respect for me, particularly when i naively didn’t follow through with the new management due to contract issues.
    
    I just feel i need to show her the man she fell for is back, just a bit wiser and a lot more focused. But in a eloquent way =D. She really did mean the world to me. I have dated other girls but they just arnt filling the hole she left.
    
    Anyways i hope this is enough information and look forward to your response
    
    Thanks in Advance
    
    Zay
  - Dan Bacon
    
    Hey Zay
    
    Okay cool. The extra info helps clear up a few things for me.
    
    Here are the possibilities for you:
    
    – It sounds like she may have actually met another guy before she broke up with you. It doesn’t mean she slept with him, but it sounds like, because of your high status, attractiveness to other women and ability to get a replacement woman quite quickly, she would have wanted to have an instant man ready and waiting after she broke up with you. Many men and women do this when getting out a relationship to avoid being the one left alone and lonely. After the break up, she would have tried to sleep with another man quite quickly to help get over you or at least lessen the pain if she found out that you quickly slept with another woman.
    
    – It sounds like she is a good woman in many ways, but she doesn’t have the all-important trait of loyalty. If you want to have a woman for life, she can’t only be beautiful and have a good personality, she also needs to have good character (i.e. loyalty, trustworthiness, etc). If she was willing to leave you for vacating your titles, it shows that she would the type of woman to have an affair while married if the marriage was going through a rough time. A real woman would stick by you, encourage you and give you the time you need to get back on track.
    
    – It sounds like she may have ditched you because she feared you might ditch her down the track. As you mentioned, she is insecure about the ring girls (I take it you’re a fighter. Nice!) and probably feels like she won’t be able to compete with them as she gets older. The fear of being cheated on or dumped when she was older may have been too much for her. I don’t know because I don’t know enough about her, but for instance, she might have wanted to get away from the possibility of eventually having children with you and then you running off with a younger woman. Maybe, in her family (like my family BTW), the idea of divorce or separation of family is completely looked down upon and the couple is expected to stick by one another and work things out instead of breaking up a marriage or family.
    
    Here’s what you can do:
    
    – Find out some of the real reasons she wanted to break up. What was it really about? It would be great if you could have that conversation with her and let me know how it goes. You need to ask her directly, “Did you want to break up because you feared I would eventually cheat on you?” and “Did my lack of passion for my career have anything to do with it?” Etc, etc. Don’t be afraid to get this info from her. It’s very important for you to learn it. Going through your life with a mistaken assumption of why she broke up with you, will only lead to more confusion in future relationships.
    
    – Get focussed on your purpose again. Not for her (women don’t want you to do it to impress them. They want you to do it because you’re a man of purpose. I talk a lot about that and how to do it in Better Than a Bad Boy http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89).
    
    Let me know how you go mate! …and good luck with your next bout in the ring.
    
    Cheers
    Dan
Andrew

Dan,

After a long 5 weeks of not much communicating, my GF broke up with me (via email), citing she was too exhausted from life and felt guilty she couldn’t give the relationship the attention it deserved at the present moment. It’s been a week and all of her stuff is still here at my place (its not a lot, some clothing, a few odds and sods, and she still has my house key. She told me when things settle down in her life she will come by for a visit to talk. I don’t know what that means. Is it okay for me to ask for clarification? I still love her and want to be with her, but I don’t believe in friendship after dating, and I don’t know when to show forgiveness and when to draw the line. Should I just start seeing other girls and ignore her? I feel she is being genuine in her claims but this is what brings me to my final question.

Dan, I’m really tired of being disrespected by everyone, especially woman. I have a very hard time setting boundaries and standing up for myself. I’m so tired of being a meek wimp on the inside, I always feel powerless. I’m afraid if I draw lines with people they will leave me or will want to fight me. Whats the one thing I can do to empower myself and start garnering REAL respect from the world and be a REAL man?
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Andrew
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  No, that’s not the real reason she has broken up with you. The real reason is that she lost respect and attraction for you because you’re too afraid to stand up for yourself and be a man, so she now cannot feel true love for you. Sign up to watch the free video here: http://www.themodernman.com/how-to-get-your-ex-back-free-video.html
  
  About your question: You already wrote the answer to it in your comment.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
  - Andrew
    
    I only came to fully realize how much Ive been disrespected a couple days ago. I’ve already decided to start calling people on their crap and to get rid of the people who see me as someone they can disrespect. I’ve had it with people thinking they can walk all over me to make themselves look better. Thank you Dan. No more crap. From now on people have to earn my respect.
  - Dan Bacon
    
    Hey Andrew
    
    You’re welcome mate.
    
    Just make sure that you don’t get too aggressive with it, otherwise you’ll come across as an arrogant a**hole. The best way to do it, is to be assertive, but also be light-hearted about it. Calling people on their crap doesn’t have to be a serious, intense interaction. You can smile and be light-hearted about it, while being assertive.
    
    Cheers
    Dan
Shane

Hi, I have an ex gf who left me because she thought I’d cheated. I proved her wrong and all parties involved backed me up that I never cheated!!! She begged n pleaded me to show her affection which I did, I paid for 4 holidays to go on, she even lived in my house rent free!!! She now is on depression tablets and has no feelings towards me what do ever! One day she’s all wanting to see me the next can’t stay far enough away. She will only call me on her terms. Not when I want to talk!! She’s now hiding her phone from me and won’t show me what’s on it even though I show her all what’s on mine!! The other day I found a letter to her ex out lining exactly how he was with her!! It appears she is being with me how he was with her, ignoring, disregard for feelings etc!! I’m at a total loss and have no idea what to do. I’ve asked her if I’m a re bound from her ex, she just blanks the question. Can you help?
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hi Shane
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  You’re making the simple, fundamental mistake of letting a woman run the relationship. Read: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/who-should-wear-the-pants-in-a-relationship.html
  
  She’s not going to suddenly start chasing you and wanting you, if you keep chasing her and giving her so much power. If you want to learn how to run a relationship properly, I recommend that you watch The Modern Relationship: http://store.themodernman.com/in/18c787c
  
  Cheers
  Dan
nico

Me and my ex girlfriend met on a dating sight we started getting to know each other more we ended up going out with each other a couple of weeks later we were going out for 8 months she’s the type that likes to be open about everything and I wasn’t completely open and truthful to her about me and who I was she broke up with me because of that and said that I broke her trust ….. I’ve always been more to myself most my life but because of her I started opening up more Ive been falling for her since day 1 we talk to each other still but I can’t stand not being without her I just want to gain her trust back and get her back she says that no one has ever gained her trust back but I’m not just anyone and I know I can but I just need help doing so
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Nico
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  Yes, you do need help in doing so. To start with, you need to stop giving her so much power in the situation. She is the woman, not the man. The man is the boss, the leader, the dominant one. In a male-female romantic/sexual relationship, if you hand over the reigns of power to a woman and hope that she’ll be nice to you, you’re asking for trouble. I would recommend that you watch this program and learn how to be the type of guy that women refer to as a real man: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89
  
  Cheers
  Dan
mthoko

how risky it is 2 avoid your love of your life,when you truely love her.what can i do 2 make her get back 2 me?
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Mthoko
  
  Avoiding her doesn’t get her back. Changing what turns her off about you does. Amateur advice online will say “Use the No Contact Rule” and not contact her for 30 days, but that doesn’t change the things about you that turn her off.
  
  Change and she will change how she feels.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Chris

Dan,

Do alpha males get into arguments?

Example of a discussion I had with a female friend tell me where I’m going wrong or how you would go about it. (This is all through texts)

My friend: Hey, how are you?

Me: Hey, Is there any particular reason why you haven’t contacted me in 4 weeks?

My friend: I’ve just been busy, why haven’t you contacted me?

Me: I haven’t contacted you because you genuinely don’t seem to be interested in maintaing a friendship with me anymore. You say that your busy and ok yeah sometimes you genuinely are with work, and doing other things i get that but you have time to post stuff on facebook daily but not send a text to me in over a month?

My friend: You know I’m having a rough time right now I don’t need added stress of getting requests from you about what you need from me.

Me: Its not about “requests” if were supposed to be friends you should just want to contact me its part of any normal friendship. And you broke up with you’re boyfriend 6 months ago i’ve been supportive but its just weak you use that as a guilt trip now so you don’t have to put in any effort and to stop me mentioning things you don’t like.

My friend stopped responding after that.

I find having discussions is such a head spin often it snowballs out of control and you end up with more problems than when you began with. Often I think why did I bother saying anything. Is there something wrong with how i’m talking about problems i just go with how i genuinely feel about a situation and try and understand another person but it never works.

Chris
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Chris
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  Honestly mate, that looks like two girls texting back and forth. Yes, there is a lot wrong with how you are approaching women and friendships. Being needy like that will NEVER make women attracted to you or make friends attracted to the idea of contacting you, being around you, etc. You can try to hide neediness by not contacting for a while, but as soon as you interact with the person, they will pick up on your neediness by how you behave, what you say, etc.
  
  You should watch this program and learn how to be the type of guy who people naturally want to be around: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89
  
  Cheers
  Dan
  - Chris
    
    Hey Dan
    
    Ok I’ll check it out.
    
    But for now how do I talk about things that are problematic using emotional words without sounding like a girl as you put it? If you don’t say anything you end up either being incredibly disatisfied with the situation or you drift apart because no-one is communicating. I get that being a respected person is going to help out no end because ultimately you won’t end up in many probelmatic situations like that and if you do people will often apologise or not want to upset you further but what about for now. Theres the old classic of the language you use effects how the other person will respond to what your saying “I feel like this when you do that because of blah blah” is better than if you say “you keep doing things that blah blah and your doing it because blah blah” thats not going to go down as well. Is the language you use important?
    
    Chris
  - Dan Bacon
    
    Hi Chris
    
    You’re welcome mate.
    
    Yes, the language is important. When you are the type of guy who isn’t needy, who is respected, who is alpha and masculine in his thinking, behavior and actions, then you will naturally use language in a more attractive/appealing way. It all comes back to fixing your core issues, rather than thinking you solve deep problems by making superficial changes.
    
    Cheers
    Dan
Joe

Hi Dan,

I’ve been with my girlfriend for quite some time and she would contact me everyday, multiple times a day and told me how in love she was. All of a sudden, she told me that she needs some space. Unfortunately, I lost my temper and she said some mean things that were opposite of what she’s been saying the whole time. She didn’t break up with me, but said she needs space and that I need to respect that. What do you believe will happen? I am so restless and lost.
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Joe
  
  Based on what you’re saying, it sounds like she met someone else. Women don’t go from “I love you so much!” to “I need space” like that. So, unless you’ve left out a lot of the bad stuff you’d been doing, which may have caused her to lose attraction and respect for you, it’s a sure case of her meeting (and possibly already kissing/having sex with) someone else.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Marquis

Hi Dan,

I’d been dating my ex girlfriend for about 8 months and a few weeks ago she told me she needs space from the relationship. During the break up, I found out she still has some feelings for her ex although she knows their relationship is toxic for her. I’m quite sure she’s cheated on me with him as well.

Now, during our relationship, we’ve been through the ringer (e.g. 2 pregnancies, a questionable text on her cell, and a sense of her gradually pulling away). When we first got pregnant she was somewhat happy about it (and we lost it), but when we got pregnant again, she completely melted (and she aborted it). We actually broke up during the second pregnancy.

I’m quite sure after reading some of your comments that I became more and more beta during our relationship because I wanted to please her. I completely lost sense of my purpose and instead focused on our purpose as a couple (big mistake I know). After everything we’ve been through, I still want her back (eventually).

After the break up, she texts and calls almost everyday and it’s really confusing to me. A few weeks after the break, I asked for my things back and she started telling me how confused she is about us and that she feels like I’m angry at her. I think she felt me pulling away and got concerned.

She says she feels like she has abandonment issues (from her childhood, per her therapist) that won’t allow her to let me completely in and therefore she finds it hard to fully commit to the relationship. I get a sense that she knows I’m a good man and she wants the chance to get back together in the future when she’s ready, so she’s stringing me along. I also get the sense that she’s just not as attracted to me as she used to be.

What should I do to change the course if I want her back eventually?
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Marquis
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  After 3 years of testing with phone coaching clients, I have developed a system for getting an ex back. Here it is: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/get-your-ex-back-super-system.html
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Tim

Hi Dan,

I am currently using your super system for my current girlfriend.

I have been with my girlfriend for four months Because the past two weeks I have become a weak man (emotionally needy,taking love, demanding)she pulled away and due to my weak behavior she said she will have to think hard about the relationship and I most certainly think it will be a breakup.

It is very unlikely she is seeing someone at the moment but she did state that she is hurt because I became demanding for more love from her.

Normally, I would move on, but for her, as a friend/gf/kendo partner/family friend, I know that I want to be a real man for her that can share love. What can I do during this break then? I feel like the break will only solidify her belief to make a final break.

If you could get back to me that would be great.
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Tim
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  I can see that you’ve only just purchased the program. Believe me, I understand your urgency to get her back, but you need to calm down and go through the steps of the system. As for what you should do during the break that you and her are having, that is explained in Step 2 and 3 of the system! 🙂 Get back to watching the program. All your questions are answered in during the system. Your problem is not new to me. Your situation is common and all your questions will be answered as you go through the system.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
  - Timothy Kim
    
    Thanks Dan,
    
    I’ve been watching your videos and they are very helpful. I was watching through videos 1,2,3 and 4 and I notice that alot of the dialogues are based on if I am already broken up with her.
    
    I know from the video the main reason is my neediness and taking love that caused me to lower her respect for me and that made me panic that led to me acting more clingy and demanding for love. She is hurt by my recent emotionally weak behavior and the likelihood of breakup is very high.
    
    In the case of a relationship break, is there another way to contact a girl or is it where a person must break up with her in order to make up with her?
    
    Thanks,
    Tim
  - Dan Bacon
    
    Hey Timothy
    
    Thanks for your positive feedback and question.
    
    The system is easier to use for guys in your situation because you’re not fully broken up. As for making her realize that she wants to be with you (that’s what she’s considering now during the break), you just need to get stuck into Step 3 of the system and then she will most-likely initiate contact. If she doesn’t, simply use my Facebook, Phone and Text Message Examples to contact her and move to Step 5.
    
    Cheers
    Dan
Julian

Hi Dan,

I am 24/M and she is 22/F. We met at uni and have been together for 1 year and a 1/2. After graduating college, we both moved back in with our parents and live ~40min apart from each other. We both work full-time but the issue is that her work schedule is rotating weekly so she is hardly ever free when I am. This is causing a rift in our relationship because we seldom see each other, sometimes only once or twice a month. She said the relationship works when I am there but as soon as I am gone she is back to hating her life and her job. Recently she said she doesn’t feel we are good together in the long run and she needed space to find herself to see what she wants to do with her life whether it be going back to school or finding a new job that may be far away. She says she loves me but since she doesn’t get to see me often she feels bad and prioritizes seeing me over her friends/family. I’ve always advocated her to never put me in front of her friends or family but she does anyway because she wants to. However she’s also saying that she feels like she’s always trying to make other people happy and doesn’t make herself happy. I told her she needs to understand her priorities because all of this came as a shock to me. I thought we were doing okay despite the distance but lately she has been truly unhappy and this did come as somewhat a shock. As for our sex life I feel we may have a dead bed room because she almost never comes onto me despite the fact we don’t see each other often. She isn’t as attracted to me as before which could be due to me putting on some weight after college or her seeing me as less of a man now or whatever… I don’t know. I think I need to either request a break so she can see where her priorities lie or just end it all together because I don’t want this to drag on.
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Julian
  
  Thanks for sharing your story.
  
  If you do request a break, make sure that you don’t sit around doing nothing and waiting for her to call you. In these cases, I’ve found that the woman who has been granted a break will often go out with her girlfriends and end up kissing another guy. Be prepared for that.
  
  Personally, I think you need to focus on improving yourself and becoming the type of man that she doesn’t want to leave. You come across quite well in your comment and it seems as though you already have a fair idea of how to handle women. However, if she’s asking for space, then you’d be making some pretty fundamental mistakes. I recommend that you watch this: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Marshall

Im 21 my girlfriend is working in in another province for the summer, and she decided that she felt we needed space/time apart when I can build my own “path” of life without her in the picture, and i found out form a friend what she felt was more of the same idea that she felt i wasnt very independent and she couldnt see herself marrying or i guess being with me because of that..and I tried so hard to just get a conversation with her and talk to her about it. but i couldnt get that conversation..so i got upset that she wouldnt talk to me, and we got in an argument and she told me she was done..but i still really have hope that when she comes home in a couple weeks that maybe she will realize she has made a mistake and we could talk and get back together..im just scared i wont get that chance to talk..what should i do and or what could i do to possibly fix this..thanks
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Marshall
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  No, she’s not going to think it was a mistake because you still haven’t changed. She wants you to become a real man and a big part of that (which she thinks is lacking in you) is having purpose in life. She sees you as a lost guy who is hiding from his true potential in life behind her and the relationship. If you want to learn how to be a real man, watch this: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89 It’s a 10 hour and 50 minute video program and I spend about 2.5 hours on purpose. If you don’t know what your purpose is, there is Purpose Discovery Exercise in the program that I guide you through, step by step.
  
  If you’re still the same guy when you see her next, don’t expect her to change her mind. She’s already told you what the problem is and you need to fix that first.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Alex

Hi…I have been seeing a girl for about 6 months now,i actually use to go with her years ago,and we met up….i am separated from my wife and never going back,we were going fine staying at hers met her kid,and told me she never stopped loving me from all them years ago…now she has said she doesnt know wat she wants anymore,doesnt know about the weekend away…so i told her i,m cancelling it and did,i asked for my stuff to be left out and id collect it….we get on so well,but just last few weeks she,s acting strange,not wanting me to stay,but when i ask she says shes fine…just wants to be on her own tonight,now she says i,m sufficating her with the talk of hoildays next years things like that,but she was the one that mentioned it….now i called up to see her and knocked the door,no answer so opened the door and shouted in,she slammed door in my face and told me to get the …. out of her house,and locked the door…i have phoned sent messages but she won,t reply..
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Alex
  
  Thanks for your comment.
  
  Wow, that was a pretty nasty reaction from her. You’re going to have to get her to understand why you were behaving in the ways you were (the behaviors that turned her off. If you don’t know what they are, I explain them in Get Your Ex Back: Super System) and then get her to forgive you. There are certain things you need to say and do to make that happen. If you want me to help you, this is the system for you: Get Your Ex Back: Super System
  
  Cheers
  Dan
kamal

I am really suffering we are in a relationship about two month during this period we have just hang out twice its very fantastic. we are working in same organization. i knew she doesn’t have time to give me time more. however but during the off time she can give me now days she give me date to hang out and i waited full day and i called many time no respond i text many time no respond later evening she respond by saying i was slept next time, next time also she is the one give me date and time and she did the same and saying i ls she didn’t respond my sms any more and she saying i want to give you all time my life and she said give me space i need to think and also i need to take rest also etc and she having problem many time ans every single second she asked me how to sort out i give my full time i didnt say midnight busy i m in office all what ever i have i given her now she saying you all the time commanding that really put me pressured etc and now she didnt responding any more my calls sms and she posted in face book LOVE WILL SHOW YOU EVERY THING I LOVE YOU AND YOU LOVE ME TAKE THIS GIFT AND DONT ASK ME WHY i have given gift as well i really dosent want return this gift to me i really love her what to do in this case please advise me i really suffering
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hi Kamal
  
  Thanks for your comment.
  
  It’s pretty simple mate: She’s not attracted to you. You can get her attraction back. Watch this: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/the-3-stages-she-went-through-before-breaking-up-with-you.html
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Jon Adam

Thank you Dan for your time, you have attended to a lot of comments.

I’ve been in a relationship for 7 years with my fiance now girlfriend or something who knows. Two years ago I bought her a ring to get engaged, something she had been wanting me to do and finally felt ready to take the plunge. Unfortunately, after making that jump she became more distant and even stopped having sex(we had been living together for over 5 years before that). She would take care of me by hand though. She told me it was about her past sex abuse as a young teen and other abandonment issues that she had to resolve and started going to a therapist. She is becoming a therapist herself. Also, the relationship had been getting a bit stale and I was getting upset that she was not seeming to care about my feelings on a number of issues to the point where the lack of sex and her issues caused me to want to leave the relationship.

One such incident occurred when I had a female student of mine accuse me of sexual impropriety (which she later admitted lying about)but my woman didn’t seem to care that I was really really stressed about it and she always kept focusing on her problems with work and life etc.

So I left her for 6 months and was brutal about it because I was fed up. I admit to being a d!ck and was brutal but at the time I was unable to deal. I moved back in and our relationship has been rocky ever since. I choose to go to a therapist to work on my problems and learn about myself, which is the best thing I ever did.

We eventually saw a marriage counselor, but unfortunately she couldn’t deal with the hurt and I think that when things started coming up about the things she was doing wrong in the relationship ended the marriage counseling. We lived together for 5 months, I had a separate space in the basement with kitchen and bathroom. Also, during that time I left the teaching profession as I don’t want to have another experience like that again and took a job at Home depot to figure things out on my career. I have a previous career as a geologist.

Now, she is upset because I’ve worked at Home Depot too long and she says I’m not doing enough to fight for her in terms of my career. I admit to being lost right now and am applying for jobs in my previous field. She always said I wasn’t successful enough even though we met right when I was finished my teaching certification and it happened to coincide with the recession in 2007. I’ve always had a job, but maintaining a good teaching job was impossible wit annual layoffs and school closures. It’s bee really hard for me and I don’t feel like she understands.

She asked me to move out in the beginning of the summer and I got my own place. I thought we were done, but she has been initiating getting together regularly and we went on out first romantic vacation ever as she has a teenage daughter and we never had time to get away. I’m also still seeing my therapist and we’ve been reading books about relationships, attachment theory and have been having great connections and sometimes heated arguments when old hurts get triggered.

All of a sudden, after the vacation she wants space for 2 weeks. She had also said since ending marriage therapy that she wanted the freedom to date, but she never did so far. I’m assuming that she is wanting to find a man before dropping the ax. Oddly though she set a date to get back together and share how time apart made us feel. We both promised to keep a journal. She says this is a science experiment.

Unfortunately, I can’t help but think she is going to let me go. We had amazing sex the last night before the break and even took all kinds of sexy photos together. I had been helping her fix things up around her house as I’ve always done for her throughout the years, like planting a new tree and other types of serious construction.

I’ve only been in this state of anxiety once in a previous relationship. I’ve promised not to contact her and vice versa but am having a hard time with it.

Do you think she is wanting to follow through on finding a guy and dumping me or am I just over thinking it? I can’t imagine dating a woman while in this period of flux as the emotions would be too much for me, but am wondering if she can. I know I shouldn’t contact her, but I really want to as I’d rather have her just end it now rather than wait two weeks and have her tell me it’s over and she found her new sugar daddy.

Thank You, Feeling totally crazy, Jon
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Jon
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  For a guy in your situation, the solution is to start seeing other women. I know, you said you don’t want to do that, but she is looking for a new guy right now and will shove that in your face pretty soon. Beating her to punch will allow you to get some level of control back over the relationship.
  
  If you’re not willing to do that, prepare yourself for the inevitable, “We have to talk. I have been seeing someone else and I don’t want you and I to talk anymore. I need you to stay out of my life and let me move on.” However, if you beat her to punch, she will have to recover her feelings for you and give it another.
  
  BTW: That is not the strategy from my Get Your Ex Back: Super System. If you want to learn that strategy (which doesn’t involve picking up new women), I recommend you get watching.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
erik

Hi dan, ive been with my girl for 5 years we gone through good and bad, we had this talk 2 weeks ago about getting a better job and changing my way, so far ive feel like ive done both looking fir better job in progress. So two days ago i complain about how i always got to ask for sex. Her respond was you always make it about sex. We had a arugement next day that i know its my fault that i regret. So she went to work and ignored me all day didnt come home she went to parents house to sleep next day she ignores me all day and all dhe tells me is that its over but she will always love me but that she cant be with me that she wants to be left alone and needs her space. So i asked her y u feel like that she respond saying you have change your ways more than before but i just feel like our relationship is boring i ask her how am i making it boring she said i dont know! so far we are still living together but she dont want to talk about it no more dnt want me touching her or hearing what i got to say. we have a 4 year old daughter and i really love both of them i will do anything to fix the problem please can you help me? can you please explain what she mean with our relationship is boring or her being bored please help me! thanks
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hi Erik
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  Women don’t want to teach you how to be a man, so asking her to teach you will never work. In fact, it will make her lose more respect and attraction for you, which will cause her to fall out of love with you even more.
  
  If you want my help, this is the program for you: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89
  
  Cheers
  Dan
kamal

Mr. Dan Many thanks for your support,

Nowdays some time we chatting and my girls friend saying i love you more i miss you more but i am afraid i need to two week space i am busy work etc but lots of sms i was send her no reply if she reply in the last stage i love you more i miss you more etc once once i called her not responding once we started in love i cant remember in second second she text me she call me etc no i want to move on but i cant really difficultly for me what to please advise me
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Kamal
  
  You’re welcome mate.
  
  It sounds like she is just stringing you along until she finds someone knew. You need to shock her back into loving you. If you want to learn how to do that, watch this: http://store.themodernman.com/in/23b8291
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Desmond

woww! this is perfect. thanx Dan
SJ

Hi Dan, firstly I would like to say thankyou for your newsletters & that I’m grateful I’ve found your site. I purchased The Flow & found it inspiring & I’m now keen on getting Better than a Bad Boy & Alpha Male Power products, as my confidence with women seems to fluctuate & I believe these will help.
Secondly I would appreciate your take on a matter please.
Recently my life was turned upside down with the sad passing away of my ex wife & I moved back to the ex marital home to raise our 12 year old son – I was very busy & occupied, then out of the blue a close girlfriend of my ex materialised into my life – she’s sexy, beautiful & confident & we hit it off straight away. Within weeks we developed a strong bond & attraction & we slept together – it was amazing, I felt great as I made it happen naturally. However she told me that was my lot & backed away – yes I’m ashamed to say I chased her & it all turned to crap.
I’ve since found out that she often goes to clubs & bars in search of men & always offers her number & body regardless of if they’re 17 or 70!!! She lies to me, is deceitful & appears to have no integrity that I can see, but here lies my problem – I want to win her back (ok you’re probably shaking your head) but I want to be the Alpha Male she obviously so craves, I realise I’ve cocked up big time with my needy behaviour in the past, but would like to know if I can turn it around?
She still texts me to arrange dates, only for her to always cancel again & again. I’ve been out with other women but my hearts never been in it as I want this girl so bad & be the man she seeks. Crazy? Yeah but any advice would be greatly appreciated.
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey SJ
  
  Thanks for your positive feedback.
  
  Yes, women like that only fall in love with guys who don’t put up with their crap. I don’t mean that you should get angry and tell a woman off in that situation, but that you should hang up or not care if she can’t meet up with you.
  
  All that is explained in Better Than a Bad Boy, which is definitely the program for you: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89 What I teach you in that program will make her change her behavior around you and start chasing you more. You’ll also learn how to get her to fall in love with you for real.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
  
  P.S. Sorry to hear of the passing of your wife. I can only imagine how devastating of an experience that must have been. I’m glad to be able to help you get back on your feet again though.
Madoc

Hi dan, i was with my girlfriend for almost 2 years before she wanted to take a break.
She said thing’s where complicated and difficult. She also said we should not say it to anyone that we where on a break and explained that after the break was over we could press play again.
We did agree not to tell anyone about this and so on. The reason she wanted space was we where fighting a lot and me being a idiot, over somthing she did but i see now it wasn’t here fault. She also wanted to see how life was without me. The day she told me she needed space she also started talking to a dude that she met trough here sister,
wich is also the bestfriend of here sisters boyfriend a week before this happent. He was saying what she needed to hear and i did not step it up.. Now, the next day she knew he was going to stay over at here sisters place for one night and guess what, she went there to. She said to me that she was going there, but when i asked who was there she did not answhere, she was hiding that he was there to. So i though well am gonna take it easy and let here be alone and tomorrow am gonna step it up and fix all this bullshit. A long story short, she broke up with me later that night, and a few hours later she did sleep with him.
Now the next day i was missing here like crazy, it was the worst feeling in the world, little did i know that it was about to be a hundred time worse…. I finaly got a hold of here, and we desided to meet up at my place. It was the best feeling in the world to see here again, she told me she had the worst night of here life and that the only thing she was thinking of was me and she missed me so mutch. Now i came clean and told here how sorry i was for all the fighting, and things will get mutch better. I knew then that this is the girl i want to be with for the rest of my life. But then came the BOMB. I asked here who was there last night, she said his name and i immediately knew what did happen by the tone of here voice. Again a long story short, we did fight and talked alot that day, but we have been together every day since then. But am not sure what to do now, i feel like i cant trust here, what has happent realy?, there is so many questions in my mind. I asked here why did you sleep with him, she says she wanted to get over me, and this was the only way, but she did not want to sleep with him, and at one point she said stop, but a few mins after that he was at here again. (it wasn’t rape) I asked here do you have feeling’s for him, and she says she did see him as a friend, but now nutting. I see it as she went coldhearted behind my back and f****d someone she was horny on, or she made a choice and piked him over me, then regreted, if thats the case then i just have to move on without here. But then again i love here so deeply. She also said she got more feeling’s for me after what she did. And the same has happent for me in past relationships, that i got more feelings, but that was after cheating.
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Madoc
  
  Thanks for sharing your story.
  
  Essentially, you need to kick into action and start making her realize how great of a guy you are. However, you’re not going to be able to do that on your own. If you were always arguing and fighting and you currently have a bunch of insecurities about the relationship, it will literally tear things apart again, argument by argument.
  
  If she hasn’t yet broken up with you, I’d recommend that you watch this program immediately and put the advice into action: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89
  If she has broken up with you again, you need to use this program: http://store.themodernman.com/in/23b8291
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Brandon U.S

Whats going on Dan I need your advice on a a situation with my ex girlfriend. We offically have broken up 6 months ago but we was trying to make it work. In the last 6 months there was alot of arguing about different things. About two months ago she told me she has been on dates with two other guys and I got mad about it at first which lead into a argument then i thought about it and that how i wasnt suppose to act but then I Told her thats fine. Even thought it was eating me up inside. Through out these months I was trying to leave her alone becuase I can tell the respect was gone like how she talks to me when she is mad, She even told me she got in contact with her ex again and that she has a friend that she dates, she told me and she also said alot of other things that a guy would not want to hear from a girl that he loves. But she gets mad becuase she hates to hear about me talking to another girl or seeing alot of girls like my statuses of on facebook or comment on them.
– Just Yesterday she sent me a picture message of me talking to a girl on facebook that she screen shot on her smart phone and she was mad about it. I Told her I didnt care what she saw been going out on dates so how can she get mad. But after that she told me for the first time the guy she been dating she started to have feelins for. Then I Sent her a reply on facebook saying basicaly how can she do that after the 2.5 years we put in and all we been through and I basically snapped out and told her move on. Then she responded back saying how am I suppose to feel when I hear you talking to other girls and I didnt respond back until today on facebook. I apologized for how I sent her that message on facebook. I kept it real and told her told her It was a tough pill to swallow hearing the girl you love have feelins for another guy after all the history we have and been trying to work but I told her its ok and I told her it was going to be a lesson learned for me and i told her to move on.
– She has been calling my phone back to back and writing me on facebook saying the guy that she kind of likes is not that serious and that I dont listen but i didnt respond to none of that. Now Im not the type of guy to call her constantly and beg her to be with me and tell her to stop talking to the guy she likes becuase I have to much pride to do that I would get mad and tell you to move on like I did but its tough right now to know that.

To be honest she is a good girl and I do want her in my life as my girlfriend and possibly my future wife its like she wants to be with just me but I am doing some things wrong to get her back and I dont know how to fix it. I would rather not talk to her at all then try to get her back and do it all wrong stuff. By reading your articles Im guessing Im not passing her tests and she lost respect which lead her in to liking another guy but she tries to keep in contact with me. I Want her back I just dont know how to fix it. I just want to be the only guy she has feelings for again. I want her like how your girlfriend treats you lol. Idk what to do when she calls me or tries to write me on facebook just to try and talk to me but i need your advice Apreciate It Dan
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Brandon
  
  Thanks for sharing your story.
  
  Essentially, you should have broken up with her the moment you found out that she’d been dating other guys behind your back. You then should have given her an ultimatum: Loyalty or it’s over.
  
  Not getting mad about it was not the right thing to do. You should have stood up for yourself and for the trust in your relationship. However, you put up with her betrayals and it showed her that you’d rather be treated that way than be on your own. If you were good at picking up new beautiful women (not just average women), you would have dumped her right away, regardless of how much time you’ve spent together in a relationship. Cheating on you like that is simply not acceptable.
  
  If you’re looking for a potential wife, she is not the woman. She can’t be trusted. If she was an honest, trustworthy woman, she would have at least broken up with you before beginning to see other guys. Why did she start contacting you again when it didn’t work out with the new guy? Most-likely it was to keep you single while she tries to move on before you. She’s likely just waiting to find a new guy to then be able to say to you, “It’s over for real now. I’m with someone else.”
  
  If you want to be the man that she wants to be with, I recommend that you watch this program and put the advice into action immediately: http://store.themodernman.com/in/23b8291
  
  Cheers
  Dan
  - Brandon
    
    Sorry for the mix up, when she was going on dates and had feelings for the other guy we was not together we was trying to make things work out but I just didnt know how to make things right again. The reason why I couldnt really say anything about her going out with guys and catching feelins for another guy becuase she wasnt offiacly my girl. Would it be best to buy Get your ex back system and Better Than a Bad Boy?
  - Dan Bacon
    
    Hey Brandon
    
    Okay, thanks for explaining further.
    
    Since you are no longer together, the program for you is Get Your Ex Back: Super System: http://store.themodernman.com/in/23b8291
    
    If you were still together, you would need to watch Better Than a Bad Boy to learn how to quickly change into the type of guy a woman doesn’t want to leave: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89
    
    Cheers
    Dan
john

hey dan,

Hey, hows it going. First of. i would like to start with my ex gf and i. We have been going out for 4 years and she broke it off with me few months ago. I have been trying to get back with ever since. My friends told me to just let her be and let her do her own thing etc.. I didnt really listen to them, instead i did everything i could to get her back ie. kept messaging her and showing up to her house to talk. So we have been talking to see if we can figure things out and her answer is always the same thing “no”. Ever since we broke up the first month she’s been talking alot with this guy who is a friend of ours. They talk alot on the phone, in the morning she would call him before going to work, as well as she would go to his place after work almost 3-4x a week and spend atleast 5 hours or more at his place. He leaves on his own by the way. So then this just keeps going and going. The guy “our friend” who lives pretty close to my place. I actually drove by to his place a few times saw her car there and never say anything. One night around 11:30pm i drove by and saw them together again and they saw me, so i went down and confronted both of them. They say that nothing is happening that they were just hanging out. So im not sure whats going on between them but they wouldnt give me an answer . The 3rd month she still hangs out with him almost everyday now. And she actually slept over at his place one day. So 2 days after I went to the my friends house and talk to him. He said the same thing that nothing is happening. At this point I really want to believe him but i dont and my ex gf is mad at because i said alot of bad stuff about her and also to the guy. I also talk to the guys ex gf. and the ex gf said something bad about him and i ended up telling my ex gf… But i think my ex gf gotten more closer after i told her what his ex gf said about him and now they been talking alot, hanging out etc. I really need your help on getting my ex gf back. Is she using him as a rebound or what not?.. It seems to me she really likes him. I dont know what to do. All i want is her back in my arms again and i will make sure to treat her right this time.

The reason of our break up is she said i took her for granted etc. I never cheated on or anything.. She wanted assurance, she said i didnt really love her as much as she loves me. But i really wana work things out and be with her. Please help me. I have been like this for over a few months.

Cheers

Dan
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey John
  
  Thanks for sharing your story.
  
  Frankly, I don’t believe them when they say that nothing is happening. It could be true, but it really sounds like they’re sleeping together. However, that really doesn’t make any difference to your chances of getting her back. I’ve helped guys get their ex girlfriend, fiance or wife back in cases where the woman has said, “I HATE YOU! Never call me again!” Feelings change and if you know how to make her feelings change for the positive towards you, then things will naturally start to fall back into place. If they don’t, my system make sure they do. It’s a 7 step system and by the 7th step, you’re back in a relationship with her.
  
  As for your strategy to get her back that you’ve been using for the last few months: Obviously it isn’t working John! 🙂 If you had been using my approach, she would have stopped seeing that guy and professed her newfound feelings and love for you. If you want to know how to make that happen, watch this: http://store.themodernman.com/in/23b8291
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Vic

Hey Dan, interesting article. My ex of 9 years broke up with me nearly 6 weeks back. We were going through a very stressful time, moving from one house to another, ended up at our respective relatives homes for a bit. We found somewhere new that we were very excited about, wishing to improve on the quiet few years we’d had in the sleepy town we’d left. Then everything went pear shaped and it became very stressful. She suffers from depression and I think she literally just signed off emotionally. Said she couldn’t think for both of us, being in a relationship and she needed to fix herself. Her reaction was to drink wildly and spend time with people she didn’t know too well. We’ve done the drink and drugs thing so she was never oppressed in that regard. And there isn’t a another guy, she was very clear about that. We’re always 100% honest emotionally.

We were in contact a lot initially, and even saw each other a few times too, went for meals etc and then just last week she moved 4 hours away to her parents. Communication has lessened and last time I heard from her was yesterday morning. The break taught me a lot about myself, my shortcomings and how deeply I care for her, even though I knew it already – I provided for us both during hard times and always ensured we had good times, showed my I’m finally ready to face my fear and commit, in the official sense that is. I was always 100% committed.

So now, other than improving myself socially, facing fears and such. How should I approach this whole thing. I onow i need to develop my skills for affection, but cant really do this without her presence. It kills me to not have heard at all off her since yesterday morning. But I don’t want to be too pushy with correspondence and yet I don’t want to push her away by not interacting with her. Help!
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Vic
  
  Thanks for sharing your story.
  
  This part of your comment stood out for me, “Said she couldn’t think for both of us” That generally means that the woman feels like she is taking on too much of a masculine role in the relationship. A woman wants to be able to relax into your masculine direction, rather than having to carry you at times or most of the time.
  
  However, that goes against what you were saying in other parts of your comment, “I provided for us both during hard times and always ensured we had good times” . To me, it sounds like you were providing financially, but not emotionally. If you want my help to get her back, you’ve got to go through this program: http://store.themodernman.com/in/23b8291 The program is 10 hours long because there is a lot that a guy needs to learn, understand, know and do if he really wants to get his ex back. It’s not something I can teach in a few lines of a comment.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Vic

Dan, yes I think your dead on with that. It’s something I did realise after about 4 weeks post break up, talking over everything exhaustively with my mum. She was able to finally see it from her eyes. I saw all of the holes that I failed to fill. I’m really eager to get her back and will most definitely look at that program.

She’s the one who’s initiated contact, and she also asked today why I’d moved the level of communication to just polite exchanges, rather than the more personal approach that was there before. I was tying to create a bit of distance, show her I’m not just ‘going to be there’ all the time. She then proceeded to say ‘I was going to invite you to visit next month, but not sure with this new tack’ should I read into that at all?
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Vic
  
  She’s just testing to see if you’ll get desperate and crack. Show interest in her, but only if she agrees with the meet up. Just tell her that you’re only interested in chatting if you catch up in person. If it’s just going to be back and forth chatting online, then you’re not going to pay much attention.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Vic

Hey Dan, thanks so much! Well I continued communication, I just couldn’t be nasty especially when the breakup wasn’t at all angry or heated. But I kept things a little more sporadic, less predictable. Do you think that’s a good way to go?

It appears she’s still keen for me to go stay with her at her parents. Initially she said her parents really wanted me to go visit, but when I asked about what date to get travel tickets for so to coincide with her parents being there, as they will be away the majority I’m there; she responded with a ‘maybe come on the…so you get to see them too ‘ Almost contradicting her whole thing about her parents really wanting me to go, and it didn’t matter so much about that. should I read into this?

You mention about your programme, is there a cheaper alternative to it? Without sounding insulting! But I definitely want to go through it, help me improve.
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Vic
  
  You’re welcome.
  
  It doesn’t matter what that MIGHT mean. What matters is whether you are making her feel attraction and respect for you when you interact with her.
  
  No, there is no cheaper alternative for my program. It’s 10 hours of video (plus the bonus programs) for only $297. If you got phone coaching http://www.themodernman.com/phone_coaching.html with me for 10 hours, it would be $4,470. I’m usually fairly booked up with that anyway, so the program is the best option for me (because the phone coaching takes up a lot of my time) and for guys who need help (because it’s cheaper and includes all my advice).
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Rick

It’s been 2.5 months now since my gf of almost 4 years broke up with me. She initally dropped the bomb on me “out of nowhere” because she lost feelings in the relationship and didn’t feel like she was getting enough in return. I’ll admit it, I took her for granted after a couple years. Now I know what to do and want a second chance. She knows this. We’ve gotten to a point where she even truly believes I’ve changed and will change. She does hope that we get back together but wants to be 100% sure before doing it because it we do…she wants to make it work too. I give her space and don’t really reach out to her. She reaches out to me maybe once a week and eventhough we live in a huge city, we end up running into eachother. Maybe that’s “fate” or God wanting us to see eachother. She would like it to work organically but keeps saying I need a bit more time. I need to focus on my new job and be all about me right now. She still says she loves me and we’ve kissed a few times too. How do I get her to “100%” sure?…
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Rick
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  It sounds like she is simply stringing you along until she finds another guy. You need to get her to take more immediate action and get back with you right away, which is what my system provides. When you are ready, go ahead and watch: Get Your Ex Back: Super System
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Rob

Hi Dan,

I’ve used “the flow” with good results for a while now. My strengths are during the initial phase of “the flow”. However by the time I get to the first date things seem to fall to pieces.
I am not really sure why though. Which product could help me improve on this ?

What does “Im not looking for anything serious” really mean ?

The only way to improve is if I can figure out the mistake I made and improve from there.

n another note: The idea of my first time being with a woman who has been with other guys doesn’t sit well with me. I always imagined hooking up with another ‘first timer’ and having that special experience like in the movies. However the more I look around the more this idea seems to be a pipe dream.
Maybe if I had an 18 year old girl this could work. However the age difference could cause problems of its own (im 27). Whats your opinion on this ?
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Rob
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  If you hadn’t included that second part to your comment, it would have been more difficult to reply. The second part reveals why women are saying “I’m not looking for anything serious.”
  
  You are most-likely coming across as someone who is looking to “get to know her” for a while before having sex. Yet, most modern women lose their virginity quite young and have sex all the way through life until they settle down with one man. If you’re looking for a virgin, then you’re going to need to hang out in groups where women believe in no sex before marriage.
  
  I remember feeling the same way as you about hooking up with women who’d already had sex with other guys. At the core of it, feeling that way is based on an insecurity about not being good enough compared to the other guys. You might have insecurities related to penis size, your performance in bed, your ability to “be the man” and really give it to her, etc. Believe me, if you go into a relationship with those insecurities, the woman will eventually pick up on them, lose attract and respect for you and fall out of love with you (if you don’t fix the insecurities).
  
  In life, you are always better off fixing your insecurities and being emotionally healthy and strong, instead of trying to look for ways around your insecurities.
  
  Since you’re already getting good results with The Flow, the program I’d definitely recommend for you is Better Than a Bad Boy: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Billy

Hi Dan,
Just looking for any words you might have. My GF of 4 years and I moved overseas 6 months ago. We had a great life set up where we left, living together in a little flat,good jobs etc, she had been completing a degree while studying full time and I was working full time so I provided a lot of support as she had so much on but our lives were great. She had little time for socialising but I had my best friends around. Moving overseas was a mutual decision but definitely more her dream than mine. Things were a lot tougher than we expected and finding work was really hard. My confidence took a hit but I hid it from her and kept a positive attitude as she was finding it tough too. It got a bit much for me and 2 months ago I broke up with her because I just didn’t think I could provide what she wanted, I never talked about how low I was feeling with her and looking back my mind was definitely clouded, I was all she ever wanted. I never stopped loving her for a minute. We caught up every week since the break up and it was comforting of course. Then 3 weeks ago I realised seeing her was just too hard and told her it was best we didn’t see each other. I still had trouble completely opening up as I couldn’t tell her I still loved her and wanted her back so I figured this was what I had to do. The next week I messages her and we met up. We had a very open conversation and both told each other how much we still loved each other. We shared a very long amazing kiss and many tears but then left each other. A week later for the first time ever I became jealous of her possibly meeting someone new and it ate away at me. I realised my best option would be to leave the country and return to where we had lived. I called and told her this and she was very upset. Then the next day we met up and I asked her flat out if she would consider dating me again. She said she would be open to it but needed some space as the last few weeks had been so full on (thanks to my craziness back and forward) . This was on a Friday. On the Monday she said we should take a month and I should really think about where I want to go in life and whether I want to be in the city where we are. She still said she is open to dating again after this time. I told her I already knew I wanted to be here with her, if not I would return home. She again said she just needed some time and space to process things. This was a week ago. I tried hard not to contact her at all but sent 2 messages, both very casual and not to do with us getting back together, one was just to ask her to transfer some money I was waiting for. She didn’t reply at all but the transfer went through straight away. Then she sent me a drunken text meant for someone else just saying which pub they were heading to next, I replied telling her I don’t think it was meant for me and have a good night. She didn’t reply. That was last night. Today I sent her a message just having I hope everything is ok and that she can reply to a text without causing me to meltdown. She hasn’t replied of course! I just can’t handle this limbo. It feels like with her blanking me she already knows she doesn’t want to date again even though she was so open to it less than a week ago. Do you have any thoughts on this?
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Billy
  
  Thanks for sharing your story.
  
  She didn’t send you that drunken text by accident. When do you ever text the wrong person by accident? Very rarely, if ever. She did that to make you feel jealous and as though you were losing her. She was thinking about you in that moment and wanted to reach out in some way. It was likely a drunken attempt to get you to come and meet up with her that night, or at least chat to her and make her feel wanted.
  
  At this point, it sounds like she will begin sleeping with other men to get you out of her mind. If possible, you need to meet up with her as soon as possible, have sex and tell her how much you love her. You need to stop holding back your feelings and just love her fearlessly (i.e. love her without any worry about what good/bad things might happen in the future).
  
  Also, don’t text her – call her. Texts can be easily ignored and don’t give you the opportunity to let her experience your confidence and positive emotional state on the phone. Texts are easily misinterpreted – just call her.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Tom

Hey Dan,
Just looking for some advice.
My girl and I were together for a few years than broke up for about a year than we hooked back up for 6 months, but I planned an over seas trip before we got back together and I was away for two months, while I was away I lost my phone and was sick for a few days so I couldn’t contact her for five days, she thinks I just didn’t care and wasnt thinking about her, which is far from the truth.
So when I got back she broke up with me and moved to Sydney, she says she is still in love with me but can’t be with me.
I said I was happy to move to her but now we’re not together I don’t know where to start to try and show her I’m in love with her and want her back.
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Tom
  
  If she is not willing to come and see you, there’s no problem with going to visit her one weekend. However, make sure you are prepared. If you make the classic mistakes that almost all guys make when trying to get an ex back, it will push her further away.
  
  Watch the full 10 hours of this program before contacting her: http://store.themodernman.com/get_your_ex_back_super_system.html Since she has moved to another city, you will need to do a rapid reconciliation while you are there for the weekend. My system includes the instructions for that.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Pete

hey dan,

I’m in need of help mate… Just 3 days ago my girlfriend of only 3 weeks messaged me on facebook and said “Im sorry pete but i think i need a break”. I messaged her when i saw the message and asked what did i do, u dont wanna see me again? she said “its me, not u. Im confused and i think i need some time to be alone”. I got emotional and texted back “I was starting to fall in love with you, i know u have feelings for me too”. She texted back and said “just give me some time. I need some time to think things over”.

Now, we have gone out the last 3 weeks, seeing each other twice a week and been intimate most the time. Our dates have been awesome, we have both had a great time, no fights, no problems. She has told me that she is going to live overseas in a years time (shes from thailand) and she told me last week that she waas starting to get feelings that she hasnt felt in a long time (for a guy). Im guessing she is getting scared about getting attached knowing she has to go back home in a year.

What can i do mate? Ive started to fall in love with her and i wont give up yet… I was thinking of sending flowers in 2 weeks time, or messaging her or calling her. what do u reckon mate?
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Pete
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  Flowers don’t make a woman feel sexual attraction for you or cause her to think, “WOW! I have to stay with this guy.” Flowers are plants and she is not in a relationship with plants. She is in a relationship with a human and is feeling like she needs to get away from that relationship. A colorful plant won’t bring her back!
  
  The first part of your comment started out pretty typical and it sounded like a standard case of the woman losing feelings of respect and attraction for the guy and wanting to get away. Then, she is saying that has feelings for you and is worried about that. Guess what? That’s usually BS. Women do NOT try to break up with guys they want to be with.
  
  Her initial attempt to break up with you was real. Then, you wooed her back and she felt good, but deep down, she still knew she wanted to break up with you. Then, to ensure that you don’t get angry and controlling, she changed it to be about her being worried about having feelings for you. That way, you still feel like there is hope and she can string you along while she tries to find another guy.
  
  I repeat: Women do NOT try to break up with guys they want to be with.
  
  Watch this:
  http://www.themodernman.com/blog/get-your-ex-back-the-3-stages-she-went-through-before-breaking-up-with-you.html
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Chris

We have been together 2 years and really have been in love I believe. We got hooked on synthetic marijuana together tho and this lead to problems. I havent been able to hold a job coz of this and she has supported me.. I lived at her house all this time (2 years) with her family. Enough was enough so I started living back at my own place, then the space was asked for. I found out she had been texting another guy she had histort with also, but has not cheated. I now have a steady job and income but the space factor is still there, im also clean. She isnt. I will do anything in my power to prove myself but just feel as though its not being recognized.. I see myself having a long future with this girl, but also cant wait forever. She cut ties with this other guy once I asked her to and promises she really does still love me whether I believe it or not.
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Chris
  
  Thanks for your comment.
  
  If a woman wants to be with a guy, she won’t want him to stay away from her. So, her still wanting space means that she is trying to create enough time and distance between you and her in the hope that you get over her, or that she can get a new boyfriend and then tell you to leave her alone.
  
  If you want her back, you need to make her feel respect and attraction for you again. You can do that during a simple phone call and then get her to meet up with you. If you want the instructions on how to do that, I recommend that you watch my program: http://store.themodernman.com/get_your_ex_back_super_system.html
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Kevin

I don’t know how old this post is…but me and my gal have been together for two years almost to the week. The last year has been rough to put it simply, I began to deeply struggle with alcohol about a year ago it was not only the demise of friends but a relationship that meant everything to me, this issue altered my life. Long story short I was forgiven or so I thought, we got back together upon her seeking me. Within a few weeks (every time this happens x4) she starts to question “I don’t know if I want to be with you, I’m 24” this that and the other. Like I said it’s been a struggle there has been some BS on both parties, multiple issues with her proving she shouldn’t be trusted. I continue to get grief about “why don’t you trust me? I should be worries about you? You’re not trust worthy.” Over the last year I’ve really gotten on track, life, goals, drive, and confidence. Literally as I type this comment this has been my week: A month ago I committed into not having to make her fall in love with me all over (because I know she does) but rather fall in love with this relationship again. There has not been a stirred up innocent that I fall on the fault side of. Since this there have been exactly 3 things that proved me to be right with my doubts. I won’t go into them but let’s just say they are worrisome not cheating but seemingly to available for being taken. This last Wednesday 5th it was our 2yr anniversary which she would miss for a work trip. Here is what happened: Every time the night would roll around she would be out of touch “my phone died” “it’s been charging in my room” this is the woman who knew I was uncomfortable and would quote “take my feelings into account, and not be out super late”. Day 2 our day she went off the grid, ended up bailing on a “video date can’t wait to see you with and without cloths” Lol. She got back to her room about 2 am honestly not really regretting a whole lot.

I need advice.
I feel like a fool in love that should take a damn clue, this is someone who I thought could be my forever mate one day. She’s stuck in this “I am 24, I am young and that wanna do what I wanna do” but then can tell me after a night of treating me as though I was barley a friend or on the mind, that she loves me and doesn’t wanna be without me, and that she “didn’t handle it right, could have been better”.

Basically, am I in a joke of a relationship?
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Kevin
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  She has put you into the position of chasing her, when she actually wants to be chasing you. ALL women will eventually pull back their interest to test how a guy reacts. If you react by chasing, becoming emotionally needy and giving her the power, it rapidly erodes away at her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
  
  If I was in your situation, I would laugh at her for not wanting to catch up. It would HER problem that you and her didn’t see each other for your 2 year anniversary. Look at it as SHE didn’t get to see YOU, not you didn’t get to see her. It’s her loss, not yours.
  
  Women in their 20s are not too young to settle down either. I’m 37 and my girlfriend is 22 (we met when I was 35 and she was 20). We’re currently in the process of starting a family.
  
  So, her giving you the excuse of “I’m 24” doesn’t mean that she wants to break up because she feels young. She wants to break up because she doesn’t feel enough respect and attraction for you: http://www.themodernman.com/blog/get-your-ex-back-the-3-stages-she-went-through-before-breaking-up-with-you.html
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Liam James

Hi Dan, probably your youngest commenter… I don’t know where to start. I’m 18yrs old, and I have a girlfriend whose 16. We’ve been together for almost 7 months. The day we met was like the day we knew. We have always been together, always done things together, we have talked and we are fairly open with each other. She has a past of guys that kind of “used” her. And regardless does not matter now, she met me. We are in my opinion the best couple I’ve ever experienced. We both really do love each other. I know the saying “young and in stupid love” but I cannot write enough to prove that wrong. We have always been very happy together but I traveled 2800miles across the country to college. She’s still in high school, but we are making this work. Recently it’s been taking a toll on us. I’ve been out of state with no visits or anything for almost 3 months. And it’s really starting to show. We did have a “experienced relationship” but we had our priorities correct. She knows what she wants in her life. She’s mature for her age as I am for mine. We both want a family and marriage and stuff, we both really wanna settle down. We click u could say. We don’t have a typical high school young physical/emotional relationship. We really enjoy each others company
This Long distance is killing us tho.
Lately we got into a quarrel and she later texted me with “I give us a month” but she’s never said anything such like that. We are both getting pretty tense with each other. I have another 10 months to go before I see her. Is she right? I mean I know that it’s right if I want it to be. But I don’t, but have u had experience with a girl losing feeling for you because of each little quarrel and losing feelings because you both have been away that you’re becoming tense with each other. Keep in mind the longest we ever went away from each other was 2 weeks.
We r 2800miles apart and havent seen each other in 2.5 months.. We both miss each other and we are both in love. Help?
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Liam
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  There is hope for you, but you do need to approach your side of things properly. To survive a long distance relationship, you have to be the sort of guy that she WANTS to wait for…not the sort of guy who tries to convince her and plead with her to wait.
  
  Being the guy that she will want to wait for means having an AMAZING life outside of your relationship with her. The best way to do that is to get clear on your purpose in life and go after that with unrelenting determination, while ALSO giving SOME time, attention and love to her. You also need to be spending time with friends and in a place emotionally where you WANT her, but don’t NEED her.
  
  If you are interested in learning more about life purpose and being the sort of guy that women yearn to be with, I recommend that you watch Better Than a Bad Boy:
  http://store.themodernman.com/better_than_a_bad_boy.html
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Jerry

Hey Dan
My girlfriend and I of three years broke up a couple months ago. Towards the end we weren’t happy in our individual lives, she had trouble keeping jobs so I was taking care of her while living together. I was drinking too much and money always seemed to be an issue even though I made enough for us to live comfortably. But a couple months before we ended I started to get suspicious she was seeing someone else while living with me. I wasn’t surprised, I was becoming an awful boyfriend, not taking her out, getting drunk, really just being a total loser. One night I caught her being dropped off at the house late by him and I became angry and kicked her out. He came back and got her that night. She came and got some her things the next day. We have spoken and seen each other several times since she left and even had dinners and gone to the movies together and had a great time with each other. one night a month ago she came and spent the night. Two days later she said she needed more time to heal and said that she wasn’t healthy enough for a relationship. So I was giving her space. She came over last week to get some things she left and finally admitted that she was living with the guy she cheated on me with and has been since the night she left. So I guess all the talk about not being a healthy enough for a relationship was a lie. I still love her and she still loves me, but I don’t know what to do here. She says she still needs time to heal, but is living with this guy. Maybe she is just using him, I don’t know, but apparently doesn’t care too much considering she slept with me a month ago while living with him. Either way right now if I text her she will respond and we will have small conversations, but I’m wondering if I should start no contact now even after we have seen each other after the breakup. Will it be the best way to get her to come back to me.
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Jerry
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  Women don’t need time to heal like that. What it really means is, “I need time to get over you and for you to get over me.” If a woman wants to be with a guy, she will be with him. At the moment, she doesn’t want to be with you and no – the no contact rule is not the way to fix that. Watch this: http://www.themodernman.com/relationship/4-reasons-why-the-no-contact-rule-is-a-bad-idea.html
  
  Cheers
  Dan
temitope

Pls I met dis girl 3 month ago..she professes she loves me every now and then..bought me gifts and some other stuffs..but we had some issues and she always make me understand that she bought dia and that for me…she said she wanted break..she left her cloth in my house…but she does not call nor text except if she wan to make enquiries about what concerns her alone..I have begged her several times buh she always tell me she is nt yet ready to come back and that she will come back soon.. I am emotionally down…and beging often is what I want to stop…pls wat she I do..i love her buh when she is angry, she talks to me anyhow
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hi Temitope
  
  Instead of begging her to come back, you need to make her willing to come back by making her feel respect and attraction for you. Women are not attracted to the emotional weakness or neediness of men.
  
  Cheers
  Dan
mel

So im 23 and was dating my ex for almost 3 years out of nowhere she said the she felt like she wasn’t growing and wanted me to take more control as a man and lead relationship she said she felt like I was to stagnant was during a rough time in my life which was this summer before the break up she also let me kno she had a crush on a guy but loved me and didn’t want to keep it from me a wrek later we broke up she said to give her space and time to focus on her and that I should do the same and wanted to be friends so we tried and something happened and she told me that I was trying to hard and she felt like I was stalking her when she was the one bumping into me with her the guy she had a crush on so then I told im not going to contact you anymore for a while and ill make sure you don’t see me either so shes been trying to contact me and I don’t answer this were I am now… This started in September and we broke up in October and its been about 1 1/2- 2 weeks since we spoke
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Mel
  
  Thanks for your comment.
  
  What she is essentially saying is that you need to have more purpose in life outside of her. A man needs to have purpose in life and go after that with unrelenting determination, while ALSO giving love, time and attention to his woman, family and friends.
  
  If your main focus in life is “doing whatever as long as you are with her” so to speak, then a woman will eventually get sick of that. It’s fun initially when the relationship is new and the initial lust is still there, but if that’s all there is, a woman will almost always dump a guy for that in the end.
  
  She wants you to stand up and be more of a man in life and with her. If you want training on that, the relevant programs for you are:
  
  http://store.themodernman.com/get_your_ex_back_super_system.html
  http://store.themodernman.com/better_than_a_bad_boy.html
  
  Cheers
  Dan
manoj

my girlfriend was just acting with her ex just make me to forget her because she is having exams after few days we had a fight between us.. later on we met and spoke about if.. she told she loves me.. but she is very close to her ex.. she says we are just a best friends now… i am confused.. at last she said she will talk to me after her exams… and she told she don’t want me to talk to her… but I doubt that she comitted with her ex and lieing to me… because she is close to him… The matter is she always tel me that she loves me…
please tel me what should I do..???
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Manoj
  
  The reason why she only sees you as a friend now is that she’s lost too much respect and attraction for you. Watch this: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/the-3-stages-she-went-through-before-breaking-up-with-you.html
  
  It sounds like you need to learn the fundamentals of how to actually attract a woman. At the moment, it sounds like you would be turning her off with your needy, insecure energy and approach. For you, I would recommend that you read my book The Flow http://store.themodernman.com/the_flow.html (just using a few of the attraction techniques from The Flow will get her to begin seeing you in a more positive light) or watch The Modern Relationship: http://store.themodernman.com/the_modern_relationship.html
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Henry

hi sir I have a serious problem.my gf cheated and didn’t tel me until I found out by my self.I asked her about it and she said she is sorry for that.she said she thinks we should take a break…when we were together she ddnt wanna have sex with me…it’s killing me
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Henry
  
  Thanks for your comment.
  
  Sorry to hear about that mate. It’s hard to help you in a comment. In a situation like yours, you really do need a lot of advice and coaching as well as a process to follow to get her back, which you will find in my system: http://store.themodernman.com/get_your_ex_back_super_system.html
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Pedro

Hi Dan
I read you article and i love it…..
but my question is i have a girlfreind i asked her out like 12 days ago we talked alot and evertything, but one day she didnt anwser back or anything she said ”Sorry if i havent replied to you, i just need time u havent done nuthing wrong but i just need time”… and im scared i might lose her! are we still dating beacuse she didnt mention anything about breaking up
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Pedro
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  That sounds like a simple case of a girl who liked you initially, but just isn’t feeling enough attraction for you to want to be with you. Watch this:
  http://www.themodernman.com/blog/how-to-know-if-a-woman-is-interested-in-you.html
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Drew

I have been with my kids mother for over 10 years. We have lately been fighting alot. She wants to move out but still be civil. We have been separated for about a week but still live together and have been getting along great. Do you have any advice?
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Drew
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  Fixing the fighting is really about learning to love and respect each other again. In terms of getting her to respect you, have a read of this: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/why-women-lose-respect-for-men.html
  
  You can get her back again, but it will require you to make some changes to the way you communicate with her, behave around her and demonstrate your love. Have a watch of this video to see what I mean: http://www.themodernman.com/blog/7-reasons-why-you-can-get-your-ex-back.html
  
  Cheers
  Dan
Gavin

Hey Dan I need help me and my girlfriend got into a minor fight and she says that “I need time right now okay? You have to understand, your the first person I let my walls down to in a while… And to be blunt you kinda shoved a fork in my heart… I’m gonna need time to think and space to heal..” I told her take all the time u need please Dan help me this girl she means so much too me I don’t want to loose her
- Dan Bacon
  
  Hey Gavin
  
  Thanks for your question.
  
  What did you do to hurt her heart? I need to know that to give you the right answer here.
  
  In the meantime, have a watch of this video: http://www.themodernman.com/blog/7-reasons-why-you-can-get-your-ex-back.html
  
  Cheers
  Dan

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Dan Bacon is happily married to the woman of his dreams.

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My Girlfriend Said She Needs Space

5 Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Might Need Some Space

1. She wants to find a replacement guy before really breaking up with you

2. She’s bored

3. You haven’t done what is required to make her want to settle down with you for life

4. She doesn’t want to accidentally become pregnant to you

5. She doesn’t want to teach you how to be the man she needs

Can You Give Your Girlfriend Space Without Fully Losing Her?

How Much Time and Space Should You Give Her?

The Easy Way to Get Her to Love You Again

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