There are many sex myths that kill the confidence of men and make them feel guilty about wanting sex.
While the following sex myths may seem fairly harmless on the surface, they actually cause a lot of unnecessary problems in society for individuals and for relationships.
Sex Myth #1: Men Think About Sex Every 7 Seconds
One of the biggest sex myths of all is that we men think about it every 7 seconds.
According to a study carried out by Dr Terri Fisher at Ohio State University in the US, there is absolutely no evidence to suggest that men think about sex “nearly constantly” or that men think about sex far more often than women.
The study recorded the daily thoughts of 163 women and 120 men aged between 18 and 25 years and concluded that men think sexual thoughts on average around 19 times in a day and women on average around 10 times each day.
Why the big difference?
Researchers believe that women are more likely to give “socially acceptable” answers to sex questions rather than honest ones. The reason why is that women have to pretend not to be very interested in sex, otherwise most people will label them as slutty.
Additionally, if a woman is too easy and open about sex, most guys will assume that she would be untrustworthy in a relationship. So, she has to put on an act of innocence to avoid being looked down on by others and not being trusted by guys.
The reality is that both men and women think about sex often. There’s nothing wrong with thinking sexual thoughts, but most women will never admit to having sexual thoughts as often as men do.
Sex Myth #2: Women Want Tantric Sex That Goes on For Hours
Have you ever heard of couples who have sex for hours or days on end?
Good for them.
However, it’s not what you need to do to make a woman happy. 99% of women do not need to have sex with you for hours to feel the type of pleasure that they crave.
What you need to do is have sex with a woman in a way that makes her feel feminine in response to your masculinity. This simply comes down to your body language, vibe, movements, energy and actions.
Most women talk about, crave and want to be on the receiving end of sex from a masculine man. When she feels your masculinity coming through, she will orgasm more easily and the sex will be more fulfilling, exciting and enjoyable than sex with a wimpy man or a man who is just neutral (i.e. not very masculine, just a kind of “whatever” type of guy).
Sometimes you and your woman might have sex for 30 minutes to an hour, but most times doing it for 5-10 minutes is absolutely fine as long as you have the right dynamic set up and she is getting deep pleasure from every moment of being sexed by you.
Sex Myth #3: Women Prefer a Man With a Huge Penis
Guys who have an insecurity about their penis size either watch too much porn or haven’t actually looked at penis size statistics.
The fact is, most guys have around about the same size penis, within a 1-2 centimeter difference. Sure, there are guys out there who walk around with a “baby arm” in their pants, but they are the minority. Almost all guys are average sized.
Additionally, I have a lot of female friends and they tell me all about this stuff. Many women have told me about an experience they’ve had where they were unable to have sex with him because his penis was too big. It was just too painful for her, so she had to break up with him.
She didn’t say, “Wow! It was so cool to hook up with a guy with such a huge penis!” Instead, she was just disappointed and explained that after trying to have sex and it being so painful, she lost interest and wanted it to be over.
If you watch a lot of porn, you will see women talking about huge penis sizes and making videos with guys who have a massive dick. However, you have to stop and realize that these women are loose women who have a LOT of sex and who like a bit of pain.
The male actors are hired because of their size and ability to perform on camera. Pornography is not normal reality. These people are the exception, rather than the rule.
What really matters to most woman is HOW you have sex with them, not how big your penis is. It’s about how manly you behave, how you touch her, how you look at her and how much love you’ve created between you prior to sex.
Sex Myth #4: Women Don’t Like Sex As Much As Men
Women love sex and are almost always open to having it with you right away.
Here are some statistics to help prove that to you:
- An American study found that 55% of couples have sex on their first date.
- Durex Condoms survey in Norway found that 70% of people had experienced a one-night stand.
- Student Beans survey in the UK found that 51% of men and women admitted to having experienced a one-night stand.
- The National Survey on Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles found that the average amount of men that a woman had sex with before marriage has almost doubled in the last 10 years from an average of 3.7 to now 7.7.
Personally speaking, I’ve had sex with more than 250 women and about 100 of those women have come from one night stands where I met the woman at a bar, club or during the day. Today’s women are much more open to having sex than most men realize.
In the past, women had to save themselves for marriage because pre-marital sex was forbidden. Sex was seen as something that only a married couple did and anyone who had sex outside of marriage was committing a sin.
Even to this day, most men want to feel like their woman is “untouched” and hasn’t had sex with many or any other men prior to meeting him.
Based on this, many women will behave as though they aren’t interested in having sex or that they haven’t had much sex before, but behind closed doors, women are being banged senseless all day and night by guys who know that the act of innocence that most women put on is simply an act.
Women do like sex just as much as men and in many cases, women like it even more than men do. So, don’t be ashamed of your sexual thoughts. It is perfectly natural for you to want to have sex with women and for women to want to have sex with you.
Sex Myth #5: Sex Addiction is a Disgusting Trait of Men
According to the American Psychiatric Association, there is no scientific proof to back up any claims of sex addiction.
When I was a boy, my mother once said to me, “Dan…you know that actor Michael Douglas? Well, they say he’s a sex addict…” She then shook her head in disapproval.
Ironically, my mother has been happy to see me have many women in my life over the past 10 years, before recently settling down with my wife.
My mother, who is still happily married to my father, would always has a big smile on her face when she saw me with a new woman. She’d sometimes say, “Good on you. Enjoy yourself until you’re ready to settle down.” The last time she said that I replied, “Don’t worry, I am!” and we both had a laugh.
Now that I am married (I recently got married at age 37 to my sexy, 22 year old wife), I am glad that I enjoyed myself by having sex with more than 250 women. It was a lot of fun and now I’ve got the girl of my dreams.
Some people might look at the fact that I’ve had sex with more than 250 women and say that it’s wrong or that I’m a sex addict. Yet, I’m just a modern man who realized that there’s nothing wrong with having sex with beautiful women who want to have sex with you.
It’s not an addiction, it’s just a part of modern life if you want to experience it. Sex before marriage is no longer forbidden, so a lot of men and women are now enjoying themselves sexually before settling down the right person for them.
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Hey Dan,
Thank you very much for sharing the article. I think it will help me to overcome all the confusion about different sex myth.
You mention in one of your articales something like: “There are a lot of modern men who get rid of their sexual desires by watching porn and masturbating”. I know it is weird to ask this to you (since you are a dating coach, and not a doctor), but is masturbation bad? Is it gonna lead to consequences in life?
I look very forward to your response, thanks.
Hi Dave
Yes, I’m glad I don’t have to wear a white coat everyday and deal with people coughing and spluttering everywhere. Being a date doctor is much more fun. I get to talk about WOMEN all day long and then at night, I sleep with one of my women. Yes, I’m dating multiple women at once right now.
About your masturbation question…
According to countless medical studies, it is healthy for a man to ejaculate a few times a week. However, it’s unhealthy (psychologically) to be doing it alone with such frequency. The fact is, a lot of modern men have a relationship with porn these days. After getting rid of their sexual desire (and thus “mojo for life”) a few times a week by “using porn,” they dull their motivation to approach, talk to and hook up with REAL LIFE women. Months, even years pass and these guys are still alone, frustrated and jerking away their mojo for life a few times a week.
So, is regularly masturbating over porn going to negative lead to negative consequences in life? Well, to get the answer for yourself: The next time you do it, see how motivated you feel to go and talk to a real woman right after it, or even a few hours later. Then, compare that to when you abstain from it for a week or two. Suddenly, you will be putting more focus into becoming the man you need to be, overcoming your fears and learning what you need to learn to walk up and talk to women you find attractive. You’ll push through as escalate interactions to kissing and sex, because you will be motivated to get there.
Either that or you can keep dulling your desire for life every few days. Heck, I was even contacted by a customer recently (of course I won’t reveal his name) who said he was masturbating 2-3 times a day and wondering if that was okay! I replied with, “WTF!” and then explained that I use my sexual energy with my women. I give that to my women and in return they open up for me. If I don’t have any women (hasn’t happened in years – I always have a few girls waiting in the wings, hoping for a chance with me) or if I want to add some new women to my “roster,” I actually go out there and get them. I don’t sit in front of the computer like a modern loser and dull my desires for REAL LIFE experience. Real life is much more enjoyable! The taste of woman, the feeling of grabbing her breasts, sliding your “you know what” into her, having her suck your “you know what” and embracing each other with love and passion – that beats porn (and the empty feeling after you “use it”) any day!
Cheers
Dan
Thanks for your response. I do have another question I wanted to ask you too, and that was: Are virgin girls/women more closed to having sex than the girls/women who aren,t? And if so, why?
(I know, I have the weirdest thoughts and questions ever, but I am a little interseted to find out, thanks)
Hi Dave
Enough “pre approach” questions from you. You need to stop thinking and start doing. Approach women, kiss them, have sex and THEN come back and ask me questions.
Approach and go through The Flow process and you will get to kissing, sex and a relationship. THAT is when I’d like to hear from you again.
Cheers
Dan
I love this article, what you say is true & clears up all the stuff media wants us men to believe in
Hi Paul
Thanks for your positive feedback mate.
Yes, you’d be surprised how much garbage certain parts of the media want the masses to believe.
Cheers
Dan
I get the article but how would you ask a girl about sex questions. also without wanting her to not to talk to you
Hi Nathan
Thanks for your question.
We provide that advice in The Ultimate Guide to Conversation. It’s not something I can teach in a comment. You need to hear us demonstrate examples and understand the subtle ways of introducing sex into conversation.
Cheers
Dan
for number 4, I would say the only difference is that women are far more picky, way more selective about their sexual partners than men are
Hey George
That is only correct if it’s coming from a guy like you.
A guy like me and all of my friends who are naturally good with women are way more picky than women when it comes to choosing which women will get to have sex with us. In case you missed that, I said “which women will get to have sex with us” meaning that WE choose and that women feel lucky to be having sex with us.
If you don’t understand how that works, then I recommend that you watch this and learn how to have dating power: http://store.themodernman.com/in/ff7fdd
Or, you can continue on thinking that women have all the power and you’d be lucky to have sex with them. Your choice.
Cheers
Dan