Yes, but it’s not about being mean in the sense that you treat her badly.
The definition of “treating a woman mean to keep her keen” essentially means that you’re not a pushover. You still need to be a good, loving, respectful man to her, but you also need to have a pair of balls.
The Correct Way to Do it
The way to “treat a woman a woman mean to keep her keen” is different when you are:
- Picking her up for the first time.
- Dating her.
- In a committed relationship or marriage with her.
Here’s how it works…
1. Picking her up for the first time
Treating her mean to keep her keen essentially means that you need to be a bit of a challenge, rather than being 100% interested in her just because she looks good.
Watch this video to understand why…
You don’t need to be a jerk, bad boy, asshole or arrogant prick to “treat a woman mean to keep her keen.” You just need to be a bit more of a challenge. You have to make her feel like she needs to impress you in ways other than just looking good to get a chance with you.
2. Dating her
When you begin dating a woman, you will usually have to pursue her until you’ve first had sex. Some women will pursue you, but if the woman you’re dating is hot and has plenty of options or wants to test you by playing hard to get, you will usually have to pursue her for a while.
So, how can you “treat her mean to keep her keen” during the dating process? Essentially, you have to be willing to risk losing her. Some women will test a guy by continually cancelling plans or not showing a lot of interest, to see if you are secretly a bit desperate and are willing to put up with anything to get a chance with her.
The way to essentially treat her mean to keep her keen is to show her that you’re not a pushover. For example: If you call her up to arrange a date and she says that she’s busy for the next week, you can jokingly say, “Fine…be that way…I’m never going to invite you out to anything again.”
You have to say that in a joking way, but the point is that she will see that you have some balls. You’re not a pushover type of guy who just says, “Oh, okay…then maybe another time then? When are you free after next week?”
3. In a committed relationship or marriage with her
Treating a woman mean in a relationship doesn’t mean being a prick or an asshole to her. If you want to keep a relationship together, you’ve got to deepen a woman’s love, respect and attraction for you over time. Being a mean prick is definitely not the answer to that.
What the old saying of, “treat her mean to keep her keen” means in terms of a relationship is that you don’t turn into a pussy. A lot of guys get into a relationship with a woman and then end up becoming too clingy and needy of her love, affection and attention.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a woman’s love, affection and attention or enjoying it. The problem is when a guy needs it for his emotional security.
To avoid becoming an insecure, needy guy in a relationship, you’ve got to have big, important ambitions outside of your relationship. Your woman has to be very important to you and you have to respect her, love her and treat her well, but you also have to be rising through the levels of your true potential as a man and reaching for your true purpose.
Your purpose has to be more important to you than anything else, while also still loving, respecting and appreciating her. If you don’t have that as a man, you run the risk of placing way too much importance on your woman.
When a woman sees that her man’s life is essentially about her, she will begin to feel restless. She will realize that she is with a lost man who is afraid to rise up the levels of his true potential as a man and is just hiding from it behind her and the relationship.
Do You Know How to Make Your Woman Feel Attracted to You?
Most guys don’t ever get taught how to attract women.
We’re not taught this sort of thing in school and only some guys are lucky enough to have a father who acts as the perfect role model on how to be successful with women.
Yet, knowing how to attract women when you meet them and then deepen the love, respect and attraction when in a relationship is one of the most important things that a guy ever needs to learn in life.
If you don’t know how to attract women when you meet them, you will have to rely on getting lucky, which means that you won’t ever have your choice with women. You will likely accept a woman who isn’t even compatible with you and then try to “make it work.”
If you don’t know how to deepen a woman’s feelings of love, respect and attraction for you when in a relationship, you will likely end up as another break up or divorce statistic. In the past, women had to stay with a man for life even if they were unhappy because it was shameful to get divorced.
Not anymore.
Today’s women can have sex with whomever they want and they can break up or divorce men whenever they feel like it. To have a successful relationship in today’s world, a guy needs to choose the right woman for him and then actively deepen her feelings of love, respect and attraction for him over time.
Make Her Feel Lucky to Have You
You don’t need to treat a woman badly to keep her keen, but you do need to create a dynamic in the relationship where she is more keen to be with you than you are with her.
Although women won’t go around admitting it, they want to be with a guy whom they feel lucky to be with. They won’t want to feel like they are doing you a favor by being with you. If a woman is attractive, she wants a guy who she feels lucky to be with.
Most women will go around saying that they want a guy who treats them like a princess, but they will then almost always dump him because he’ll usually be a typical nice guy.
Many nice guys look on at other guys who don’t treat women as nicely as they do and they assume that women must be crazy for hooking up with those guys. Some nice guys feel like they have to “save” a woman from a guy who doesn’t treat her as nicely as he would.
Yet, the reason why the woman is with the guy is due to her feelings of attraction for him. Women do want a good guy, but the problem is that most good guys don’t even know how to make women feel attracted.
The good guys who know how to make women feel attracted usually already have a girlfriend or wife, so all women are left with are bad boys (who make them feel attracted by being confident and masculine) and nice guys (who bore them).
There is NOTHING wrong with being nice to a woman, but you ALSO have to make her feel sexually attracted to you. Treating a woman badly is not the way to make a woman feel sexually attracted. Women feel sexually attracted to guys for many reasons, such as: Confidence, ability to make her laugh, ability to make her feel girly in response to his masculinity, etc.
There is also nothing wrong with treating your woman like a princess at times, as long as she looks up to you and respects you as a man. If she doesn’t respect you as a man, it doesn’t matter how much money you spend on her or how many expensive holidays you take her on – she still isn’t going to feel the way she really wants.
Personally speaking, I sometimes treat my wife like a princess (I recently got married after living the bachelor lifestyle for more than 10 years), but she pretty much always treats me like a king.
One of the things that attracted her to me was that I am a good guy, but I also don’t take bullshit from anyone..including her. After her and I began dating, she started behaving badly and trying to get me to chase her, so I immediately dumped her.
The break up only lasted a few minutes though because she started crying her eyes out, apologizing and asking for forgiveness. That happened a few times in the first couple of months of our relationship and she eventually realized that she couldn’t mess with me.
Here’s what happened and why I decided to let her be my wife…
Learn More?
I hope you enjoyed this article and the additional videos.
I’d love to teach you more about how to be successful with women.
If you’re interested in learning more, please click around my site and I will help you further.
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The caveman bit I agree with, but the problem is that women still respond to the caveman even though we live in a modern world. The “genetic” predisposition to be attracted to that kind of man, does not change much over a couple of thousand years. Indeed some people were still living in very primitive ways only a hundred years ago in the Amazon, Borneo, Australian Outback etc. A woman will be sexually attracted to a butch Hell’s Angels motorcycle gang leader much more so than a small, nerdy Chartered Accountant, even though the latter is likely to be a much better provider and protector in a modern sense. Most women have the intelligence to avoid the gang leader and marry the accountant, but they are sexually attracted to the first. Its simply a matter of them using their intelligence to override their strong sexual urge for the former.
Hi Steven
Thanks for your comment.
A motorcycle gang leader isn’t the best relationship option for a woman and women know that. Just because a woman may be attracted to his confidence and masculinity, it doesn’t mean she will be attracted to him intellectually or want a serious relationship with him. An accountant can be MORE attractive to women than any bad boy, by displaying the traits and behaviors I teach in Better Than a Bad Boy. Unless you learn those Steven, you will be going through life with the limited understanding of attraction that you currently have. It’s obvious that you have thought about it and are quite intelligent. However, a man doesn’t know what he doesn’t know…and when it comes to this topic, there’s much more you need to learn.
It’s not about the woman using her intelligence to choose the better man. It’s about you being the man that women want and then choosing from all the women who want you. That’s what you’ll learn how to do in Better Than a Bad Boy. Leaving up to women to “be intelligent” is asking too much. Women are intelligent, but when it comes to sex, they usually follow their emotions. You need to take charge, rather than hoping that women will be sensible.
Cheers
Dan
What can you do to make a woman lead you into sex/kiss if you’ve tried her before.
Hi Nick
Thanks for your question.
We demonstrate techniques for that in Dating Power, showing you how to get a woman to kiss you first.
Cheers
Dan
Dan – You and the Modern Man are the BEST advice givers ever!
Seriously, I hate being mean to women,or anyone for that matter. And I hate the “bad boy” myth too. Bad boys get girls because they are confident, not because they are mean. When they are mean, the girl allready loves them and are having a hard time getting over them. Believe me I know, my mom has fallen for bad boys the last 30 years, so I know well the type.
I personally want to be a nice, confident, friendly, honest, kind, non neady, romantic, noble, brave, sexual and self assured man. I hate cheating and will never cheat, I will never steal another guys gf or wife, since I hate that too. But this are my personal opinions. 🙂
Anyway, cheers!
Hey Marcus
Thanks for the positive feedback mate!
Yes, the man you want to be sounds exactly what is taught in Better Than a Bad Boy. When guys watch too many TV sitcoms and Hollywood movies and listen to random comments that women make, it’s no wonder they end up getting confused about what women really want. The best news for us guys like us is that you can be a GOOD GUY and be better than a bad boy. It’s a pretty sweet life.
You said, “Bad boys get girls because they are confident, not because they are mean.” Actually, there’s a fair bit of truth in that Marcus, although not completely correct in all situations. A lot of “nice guys” label really confident guys as “bad boys” because they mistakenly think that women want a really, really sweet, polite and gentlemanly guy…when they actually want something a lot different. I won’t reveal it here – that’s taught in Better Than a Bad Boy.
Cheers
Dan
When i realised just how bad i was with women and wanted to change i didn’t know where to start so i looked at a lot of PUA stuff and wasn’t really comfortable with it because it just seemed like a scam and was tricking women into bed and wouldn’t really help me in social life, came across The Modern Man and The Flow. i bought it thinking it was cheap and if it turned out to be sh*t then i wouldn’t have wasted much! BEST MONEY I HAVE EVER SPENT!!!!!!! read it a couple of times that week to get it to sink in properly then went out on a saturday night with my mate just for a few drinks not really thinking about the The Flow and we got chatting to a couple girls, woke up the next morning in bed with one of them! this was the first time i had chatted up a girl on a night out let alone taken her home! currently working my way through alpha male power and better than a bad boy and life is defiantly getting better for me in social,work and sex life cheers dan stu and ben!!
Hey Andy
Thanks so much for sharing your success story!
Ahh, how sweet it is to hear that. Ben, Stu and I actually feel sorry for the guys who stumble across the scam PUA advice and advice from “gurus” who have gone onto marry ugly women (just do a Google search). Getting comments like yours is becoming more common every day, so I am glad that guys are finally starting to find us.
When you use advice of insecure people (PUAs in general) or guys who SAY that they know how to pick up beautiful women, but then have ugly girlfriends (the biggest “dating guru” on the internet did that…and then he married her), you cannot expect to become confident and free of insecurity, nervousness and fear around women and you cannot expect to become successful with attractive women. However, when you use OUR advice, you get the type of results that you are now experiencing Andy.
Thanks again and enjoy the great times ahead with women! I hope to hear more about your success in future.
Cheers
Dan
All of these products do exactly what they say. I have purchased several of them and have found that my overall confidence and perspective of things has gone up. I never experience awkward feelings anymore because I don’t think negatively anymore. I assume things in a positive manner which I wouldn’t have been able to had I not found this website. Conversations just flow now and TMM products helped each step of the way.
Hi Pat
Thanks for sharing your positive feedback and positive experiences so far. I hope to hear more about your success and results in future.
Cheers
Dan
P.S. I tried to reply to you via e-mail about the other thing we spoke about, but the e-mail bounced back. Please contact me with a new e-mail address.
Hi Dan,
This is Pat from the comment above. I’ve written down a new email address for you to try. Let me know if you have any trouble with it.
-Pat
Hi Pat
Great! I resent the e-mail to the new address you’ve provided.
Cheers
Dan
Hi my friend wont let me grab her Butt like I used to if I try to she will slap me how do I get to grab her Butt like I used to and when I try to grab her butt she will tell me to back of or Curse at me or somethin
Hi Bob
You’ve posted it up a number of times and I keep deleting it because it doesn’t make much sense, but okay – this time I will answer!
Basically mate, a woman is only interested in being touched sexually by a man she is attracted to. You’re being her friend and trying to be sexual. It doesn’t work that way. Read The Flow and get educated on how to escalate sexually with a woman.
Cheers
Dan
hie Dan
if a girl requests you to call her back and you dont respond is it treating her mean? What conclusion will she draw from this? We once met and i took her number effortlessly,thanks to your post, and i called her once and now she sent me a text to call her back. Should i ?
Cheers
mao
Hi Mao
Thanks for your question and congratulations on your success so far.
About what to do next: You will learn what to do when you read The Flow: http://store.themodernman.com/in/58e9e6c What you’re asking is not something I teach for free in the comments. The Flow is 200+ pages for a REASON. How to be successful with a woman and go through the stages of a natural, sexual courtship is not something that can be taught in a few lines of a comment.
Cheers
Dan
treat her mean to keep her keen about that mate ah ive been a badboy my whole life and ive seen the mean thing work for me but now u say that nice guys are more wanted??i taught being the alpha male was a sign of strength?
Alpha male does not mean bad boy. You’re confused.
Read: http://www.themodernman.com/how_to_become_an_alpha_male.html
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan.
Few months ago, i lost my mom.A friend of mine recommanded me to check out your site. I then purchased better than a bad boy +” 21 great ways to get a girl friend, because i thought it would be a great combination, I can say that “better than a bad boy has made me strong, especially on daily challenges of life. 21 great ways has helped me to get gilrl friends. I chose having multiple girlfriends after following your advice. As i am talking right now, i have two girlfriends im dating and im working on a third one.I really appreciate your work. I wish i had enough money to buy all of your products.
Alidi.
Hey Alidi
Thanks for your positive feedback and for sharing your success so far.
I’m sorry to hear about your mom. I can only imagine what that must feel like.
I’m glad you’re enjoying the programs and getting what you want with women. Believe me, it only gets better from where you are now. Enjoy the great times ahead!
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan
I have not bought any of your products,although i want to buy in fact once i tried to buy Flow, but my debit card transaction was getting some problem.
but i love your articles.
i had 2-3 gfs in my life i enjoyed good sexual relationship also with them but when i was breaking up with them, at the time of break-up they start screaming,crying and all sort of emotional things which used to create some kind of guilt feeling in myself i pick a girl to have passionate relationship dates,kiss and sex .but after some time i loose interest in her and then when i want to break-up, the girls reaction towards me left me felt guilty or as if i did some thing wrong.what to do?
Hey Dharmendra
Thanks for your question.
You’ve got to be more upfront and honest about your intentions with women. If you’re not looking to marry her or stay with her for life, you should tell women that. Read this: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/dating-multiple-women.html
About not being about to purchase The Flow with your debit card: Simply choose Pay Pal when checking out in my store and you will be able to use a debit card or even a direct transfer from your bank account via Pay Pal: http://store.themodernman.com/the_flow.html
Cheers
Dan