In most cases, when a woman gives you mixed signals, she is simply testing to see how confident you really are.
If you become nervous or begin to doubt her attraction for you, she will lose interest in you. If you remain confident and believe that you are good enough for her, she will feel attracted to you.
Regardless of what a woman says or does, the most important thing that you need to do is make her feel attracted to you. When a woman feels attracted to you, she will automatically like you and be interested in having sex or even a relationship with you.
However, she won’t always be clear with her signals. Some girls like to test a guy’s confidence, while other women are shy and don’t show a lot of consistent interest because they are afraid of being rejected.
So, whatever you do, don’t waste time trying to work out whether or not a woman likes you. Simply make her feel attracted to you and then confidently take things to the next level (e.g. phone number, kiss, sex and relationship).
Do you know how to make women feel attracted to you? Watch this video to find out…
Why Do Women Have to Make it So Difficult?
Most guys don’t understand the reality that women live in.
If the woman that you like is attractive, then most guys would be willing to have sex with her simply based on her appearance. A lot of those guys would also be happy to have a relationship with her, even if she isn’t a perfect match for them.
It’s because of this predicament that attractive women prefer men who are more of a challenge…
If the woman you like has been giving you mixed signals, it’s important that you don’t lose confidence in yourself. In most cases, she will be hoping that you can be brave enough to believe in your attractiveness to her and keep pushing forward.
When you do have sex with her and begin a relationship, you will be surprised at how madly in love she falls. A woman who likes a guy who is more a challenge can rarely find a guy who has enough confidence to keep pushing forward.
In most cases, she has to settle for a guy who feels so lucky to be with her, but with whom she hardly feels anything for.
You’ve finally met the right girl for you, but the question is; does she think that you are the right guy for her?
She gives you all the signals that say she is interested in you; you have good conversations, you flirt and she’s even given you her phone number. All is going well and then nothing! She starts ignoring you and suddenly she goes cold. When that happens, it’s only natural that you are left feeling confused and wondering why do women give mixed signals?
How Did You React When She Started Giving You Mixed Signals?
Sometimes a woman will show her interest in a guy one day and then pretend not to be interested the next day. Why? She wants to see whether or not he will chase her and how much he likes her.
If she is a beautiful woman, she doesn’t want to see the guy lose confidence in himself and feel like he has ruined his opportunity with her. Instead, she wants to see that he continues to talk to her and make her feel attracted to him.
You might have heard women saying, “I like a guy who knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to get it” and this is a classic example of what women really think about men who fearlessly pursue them.
However, don’t get “fearlessly pursue” mixed up with “desperately pursue.” A beautiful woman doesn’t want to be pursued by a guy who usually can’t attract other women and is now desperate to get a chance with her because she showed him a little bit of interest.
A beautiful woman want to be pursued by a confident guy who is also making HER feel a lot of attraction for him.
It’s easy for the guy to be attracted to her because she is beautiful, but if he is unable to make her feel attracted in the more important ways (e.g. confidence, charisma, charm, etc), she usually isn’t going to be feeling enough attraction to warrant kissing him, going on a date with him or being his girlfriend.
A lot of guys ask me, “Why can’t it just be more simple Dan? Why do women have to make things so complicated. I like her, she likes me. What’s with all the games she’s playing?”
Yet, what these guys don’t realize is that she’s simply trying to find a guy who makes her feel the type of attraction that she wants. She also wants to find a guy who is a good match for her level of intelligence (emotional, social, academic, etc) and level of experience with love and relationships.
Take Charge of the Situation
Instead of wasting time thinking about all the mixed signals that a woman is giving you, simply take charge of the situation.
The guys who are naturally good with women (or those who have learnt from me) don’t wait for loads of positive signals before making a move on a woman.
A guy who is good with women knows that women find him sexually attractive, so he just approaches a woman that he likes and then guides her to kissing and sex. After sex, a relationship begins…
Want to Know the SECRET to Success With Women?
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This video is only available here and you can watch it for free right now.
Dan,
This girl is driving me nuts! We have the same friends so whenever we see eachother she follows me around and she and her friends stares at me. We end up making out at the end of the night and she is the one who says she wants to hangout again and do xyz. I’ll even confirm it with her and everytime she cancels on the day of with some reason. Maybe she’s telling the truth, maybe not I can’t accuse of her of lying right? She also ignores my calls
and texts and I just assume she lost interest. The next time I see her she tells me sorry and the same thing happens all over again!!! end up together, make plans, ignore. i know she doesn’t know what she wants but Why is she doing this to me if she doesnt want anything? Why won’t she just leave me alone? And the most confusing part is that she gets drunk an
d always tells me how much she likes me and how she can’t
control herself around me! What on earth?? Should I move on? Your article does not address this! What should I do please put me out of my misery!
-frustrated
Hi Mike
Thanks for your comment.
Stop worrying about what she is doing or saying. It’s not up to her to lead you. You’ve got be strong and lead the sexual courtship. Don’t leave it up to a woman to lead you and guide you into a sexual, loving and committed relationship. Watch this: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/turn-your-female-friend-or-co-worker-into-your-girlfriend.html
Cheers
Dan
This girl I like does this. She acts interested and even greets me first and leans in while I talk etc…but when I asked for her number she flirted yet did not give.
I should have said that I wanted to date her instead of “hangout”. Also, if she greets me again, I’ll tell her to stop playing games and act like a lady.
Hey Taimur
No, no, no. Saying you want to hang out or catch up is a GOOD thing. Also, telling her to stop playing games will not work either! You need to go through the steps of The Flow, not try to convince or force a woman to date you!
Cheers
Dan
I asked her for a study date and she immediately was like “Yes” and then started flirting with me and even kicked me playfully.
Thanks for your advice mate.
Excellent.
You’re welcome mate.
Cheers
Dan
Hey,
could you be a little more specific please?
Thanks for your materials years ago I turned myself from a desperate guy into a guy who can get along well with almost every woman and attract (to some level) about half of them. Still, I’m having troubles with women that are difficult to handle. Could you give me some examples of an alpha male behavior with this particular woman? Have you ever come across something similar?
She’s one of the hottest women in the campus and basically every guy falls into love with her. And she knows it. She behaves very very nicely to everyone, keeps strong eye contact, smiles, etc.
Many times she gave me mixed signals: once she says she is submissive in bed and touches you, another time she says just out of the blue that she likes older men, because they are hot (she is almost 25, I am 22). She never answers the SMS right away (so I got pissed about that and started doubling the time it took her to answer me when answering her 😉 ). Then sometimes she did not even answer to texts at all, so that I stopped answering either. Then a next day a friend of her asks me what I think of her and I told him I don’t like when a woman doesn’t take time to answer my texts. Magically she calls me next day if I want to go for a walk and out of the blue she brings up the topic that sometimes she forgets to answer messages to different people and asks me if that ever happened to me.
Then she asks me to go to the Zoo. And there she doesn’t touch me (when I initiate just a spontaneous touch, she backs off), neither allows me to kiss her (when we are alone she starts going away). But overall she is very very nice. As if she was sending subconsciously the signal “I will allow you to kiss me, when I make up my mind about that”. Although she speaks very submissively: “I hope you liked it, and I hope it was fun for you. I am not good at this and that, I’m sorry about that, etc.”
Now we are in stage (I know this was a mistake! And I should be the one taking charge) that she said, that she owes me to go for a walk once and she promised me we will go somewhere. She didn’t call in the last 2 weeks (ever since she said it).
It’s not that much of a problem for me, since I’m having sex with some other girls at the moment, but still I consider her as a Holy Grail – once I will be able to attract this women, I will be a very satisfied with my abilities. Certainly, she is having fun with a number of guys at this moment too (saw her).
My question is: could you give me some examples, how would you behave? For example in the zoo? Or now? Would you call her out for a dinner/walk yourself?
Hey Tomy
Good to hear that you’re enjoying success with women. I remember when you first start posting here at The Modern Man – what a transformation!
About your question: She is the sort of girl who appears confident, but actually worries about you rejecting her. However, if you try to be too accommodating about her fear of rejection, she will reject you for being soft! She is the sort of girl who plays games and I remember coming across girls like that. Essentially, you need to be alone together in a room or home and “hang out” for a while (e.g. watch a movie on a couch). Although, even with all that, sometimes girls like the one you like will still be resistant. That doesn’t mean you won’t get anywhere. It just means that it will take more time. If you hang out with her and you and her feel good together and she doesn’t kiss you, then she will leave to go home and will be thinking about you all day/night. She will then make it easier to kiss her next time. Once you get passed that hurdle, the sexual relationship will begin.
So what you need to do is stay strong. No matter what test she throws at you, just retain your confidence and belief that she does like you. Let her feel your lack of neediness to get anywhere with her, but also let her feel your sexual attraction for her. Don’t act like a friend, but do behave in an authentic way (i.e. confident, have a sexual interest in her, but you are not worried whether it happens tomorrow or next month).
Cheers
Dan
Hey Tomy,
Reading through your comment got me laughing because I have had one or two experiences with girls like that. Just as Dan said SHE’S PLAYING A GAME. Its all a big test. The key is for you not to become a weak needy guy who is begging for her attention and is desperate to get somewhere. Like I said I have had one two experiences with a girl like that. One minute hot and very next minute totally cold. Its usually down to some deep insecurity that she is fighting with. Sometimes she comes into your room and just when you and her about to get down to it, they she says she as to leave. Am sure she probably drops statements/comments here and there to try and get to jealous or get a reaction from you. Don’t fall for it. Just be strong as Dan said. It may take weeks or months, but trust me she is always thinking about you. I suspect she’s been deeply hurt in the past and really struggling to let her guard down again, but with time she would drop the facade IF you show her that you really don’t give a f**k if it happens or not and remain strong.
Take care man.
Great advice there from Tosin.
As long as you stay strong, it is only a matter of time before a woman realises that she is interacting with a real man. When she gets confirmation of that, she will do everything she can to be your woman.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan,
Glad I stumbled upon your site. My mixed signs are, woman at work we started talking briefly in the halls at work when we passed each other.
I would ask about her work day or her weekend and vice versa. The signs were obvious, touching on the arm, laughing at stupid questions, etc.
Just within the past two Weeks things have changed,if she sees me walking down the hall she ducks away I think to avoid contact. Also if I wave from a distance she just turns a blind eye. An just recently she walked in front of me and didn’t even turn around to say hello.
Do you think your “Flow” manual could help.
Hey Todd
Thanks for your question.
Newsflash: She likely feels rejected by you. She was giving you plenty of signals and you didn’t act on them. Either that, or she is feeling turned of by your lack of belief in yourself.
Watch these two videos:
http://www.themodernman.com/videos/turn-your-female-friend-or-co-worker-into-your-girlfriend.html
http://www.themodernman.com/videos/question-and-answer-video-series-part-3.html
Yes, The Flow will teach you how to respark her attraction and interest, get her feeling comfortable around you again and then get her on a date with you.
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan, this girl has been giving me many mixed signals. I’ve been talking with her for 3 months and we would talk everyday. We never good bored of each other and everything was fine. We hung out a few times and we would hold hands and it seemed like she liked me. But lately she’s been ignoring me and seeming like she doesn’t want to talk me anymore. I really like this girl and want to tell her how I feel about her but she’s been really busy this week and I don’t have anytime to see her so I can’t tell her how I feel. What should I do?
Hi James
Thanks for your question.
You’ve just been holding hands? 😀 Dude, you are either very young or don’t know the power of a kiss: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/the-kissing-drug.html
To make a woman want to be with you in a sexual, romantic relationship, you have to make her feel attracted to you and you must kiss her. Holding hands is something that children do or guys who are afraid to be “too forward” with women do. Sounds like you need to get a fundamental education on what it takes to get yourself a girlfriend. Read this and you will find all the answers you seek: http://store.themodernman.com/the_flow.html
Cheers
Dan