The reason why women like jerks or bad boys is that their confidence and behavior triggers feelings of attraction inside of the woman.
The same applies to you…
You have most-likely been going through life saying that you want a nice, intelligent girl that you can trust, rely on and proudly introduce to your family and friends. Yet, you are also attracted to slutty strippers.
Strippers are bad girls are you can’t stop yourself from feeling attracted to them, even though you want to get a nice, pretty girl that doesn’t show off her naked body to hundreds of men every night.
Almost All Women Want to Find a Good Guy, Not a Bad Boy
If you’ve seen beautiful, intelligent women lust after jerks and bad boys, you might have come to the conclusion that women must prefer bad men.
Yet, it’s not true.
Almost all women (99%) would prefer to be with a good guy who ALSO makes her feel sexually attracted, but if none of those guys are available (they usually aren’t. Hence why you will often hear women saying, “Where are all the real men??”) a woman will hook up with other guys who can make her feel attracted, which are usually the jerks or bad boys.
Why doesn’t being nice to a woman make her feel attracted? Watch this video to understand…
There is NOTHING wrong with being nice to a woman (I am nice to women and I had sex with more than 250 of them, before recently settling down with a sexy, 22 year old even though I’m 37 years old), but you ALSO have to make her feel sexually attracted to you.
If your main approach to women is just to be nice and hope that they like you enough because you’re such a good guy, then you’re always going to get rejected and the spark is always going to die in your relationships.
Do You Even Know How to Attract Women?
Back when I had no idea how to attract women, I used to look on at women and think, “WTF? Why is she with that guy?”
I’d see beautiful, intelligent women with guys who looked like thugs, low-IQ idiots or douchebags. It just didn’t make any sense. From my perspective, I thought that I was approaching the situation correctly…
I was (and still am) a nice, good guy with good intentions. Yet, no matter how much I showed that to women, they didn’t care! They just rejected me. Why? NOTHING that I was saying and doing was making the women feel sexually attracted to me.
It was only years later that I eventually realized the real reason why a lot of good guys fail with women…
Women Don’t Want a Bad Man
Women are not desperately seeking a bad man who will treat them like crap.
However, most women would rather be with a man who doesn’t really care if he loses her, instead of being with a guy who needs her for his emotional security and sense of identity.
Why? Simple…women find it extremely easy to attract men for sex. If a woman is attractive, pretty much every guy in the world is willing to stick his dick in her at least once.
Based on this reality, the majority of women get to the point where they want a guy to be more of a challenge to impress and seduce. Here’s why…
Almost all women want a good man, who also has the ability to make her feel attracted to him. Women do NOT want a bad man who will cause them harm, treat them badly, cheat on them, etc.
If you are going through life thinking that women like jerks and bad boys because they want to be treated badly, you are wrong.
Women are not seeking bad men who will hurt them. Women are simply looking for a good guy who isn’t a pushover. She doesn’t want you to be instantly impressed by her and willing to have sex and a relationship with her simply because you feel attracted to her physical appearance.
She wants you to realize the reality that she lives in (i.e. most guys would bang her) and then allow her to have the experience of trying to impress you enough to get you interested. She wants to feel lucky to get a chance with you, rather than feeling like you’re just another horny guy who is hoping to get a chance with her.
She Doesn’t Want You to Behave Like a Sweet Guy From a “Chick Flick”
In many Hollywood movies, you will see a man being super nice, sweet and romantic to a woman.
Throughout the movie, the woman will be “swept off her feet” by his niceness and generosity and after he saves the day, saves the world or saves her from danger (or a bad boy), they will fall in love and live happily ever after.
Women cry when they watch those movies and say, “Oh, he’s so sweet…I wish a man would treat me that way,” yet what most guys don’t realize is that women don’t find a guy’s niceness appealing UNLESS they are attracted to him.
In the movie, the scriptwriters turn the sweet, romantic guy into a confident hero who saves the day, which then makes the woman feel attracted to him. In real life, you don’t get to save the day and you have to attract her in other ways…
If your main approach to women is to be nice, sweet and innocent, then your main response will be rejection and disappointment. Women DO want to find themselves a good guy, but if she doesn’t feel turned on by you when she interacts with you, she isn’t going to care how nice, sweet and good you are.
She might like you as a friend or even lead you on and pretend that she likes you or will stay with you for life (if you happen to get her into a relationship), but she will always leave herself open to being seduced by other guys.
If you want to be successful at picking up women and then keeping a woman in a relationship, you have to offer more than just being a good guy. A woman wants to feel sexual attraction for you, not just nice, friendly feelings.
Yo do NOT have to become a bad boy or be a jerk to women, but you do need to start saying and doing the types of things that actually make women feel turned on. If you don’t do that, you can’t expect women to suddenly change their natural instincts.
Just like you can’t help yourself from being attracted to strippers or sluts in porn, women can’t help themselves from being attracted to the sorts of things that we teach here at The Modern Man.
These Days, You Have to Start With Kissing and Sex
In the past, women were completely dependant on men for their survival. A woman’s life was essentially about growing up, finding herself a nice gentleman for a husband, raising a family and then dying.
Since it was shameful to divorce, a woman had to select a man based on how nice he was and how well set up he was to support her and their family.
In 1900 for example, the divorce rate was less than 10% across the developed world, whereas it’s an average of about 50% these days.
In today’s world, women select men based on how much sexual attraction they feel. Women know that they don’t need to settle down with the first guy they have sex with. Instead of saving her virginity for marriage, a woman will have sex with whomever she likes and settle down whenever she feels like it.
This is one of the reasons why the nice guy approach doesn’t work anymore. The nice guy approach comes on too strong with a relationship vibe, whereas most women just want to take you for a “test drive” first and see how they feel.
Instead of trying to get women to give you a chance by being nice to them, you need to make them feel attracted to you and then escalate to kissing and sex. After you’ve had sex, both of you can then decide whether or not you just want to keep having sex or maybe start a relationship…
Want to Know the SECRET to Success With Women?
Watch this hidden video where Dan exposes his BIGGEST secret to success with women, which allows you to easily get laid or get a girlfriend.
This video is only available here and you can watch it for free right now.
I have a serious question for you about crying if I can please. I cried when my cat died, is that okay?
Since that I haven’t really cried, only felt tears. My cat died 2 years ago. Side note: I love Samurais, and I’m pretty skilled with fighting with a sword the way they did! 😉
Hi Marcus
Thanks for your question.
This is a difficult one to answer, because it’s not my role to tell a person what they should or shouldn’t cry over. It really is a personal choice.
However, I can tell you that other than crying at the funeral of a close family member (if he feels the need to), women don’t like men crying at all. My personal opinion is that a man should not cry upon the death of his cat, because he should already be aware of life and death. We’re floating on a planet inside an infinite universe. Things die and come to life all day long. Deal with it. Unless you’re crying for philosophical reasons, then it doesn’t make sense to a woman. Women are turned on by men who can control their emotions, be strong and understand the reality around them and are turned off by men who can’t control their emotions (i.e cry), cry when life gets tough and who feel weak and powerless in the reality they find themselves in.
Anyway, that’s my personal opinion from all my experience, discussions with women, discussions with Ben and Stu from The Modern Man and from seeing the fallout from so many failed relationships of guys who come to me for advice and end up telling me, “I cried my eyes out and begged her to give me another chance” and so on. Women don’t like wimpy men, plain and simple.
Cheers
Dan
I have to disagree a little here. A sensitive guy crying is unattractive, but a very masculine normally strong, unemotional guy crying can be very attractive. It shows you the other side of them and brings you closer. I’d say a general rule would be once or twice a year is okay. On the rare occasions I’ve seen a serious boyfriend cry it’s just made me love them more. Just maybe don’t do it at the beginning! Establish yourself as masculine and put-together first.
Hi Anon
You recommend that a guy cries once or twice per year?
Lol…that’s usually what happens when women give advice. You just make shit up as you go along and then come back and change your mind later when you feel differently about it. Case in point was when women during the 1980s said that they wanted men to cry and show their feminine side, which led to the S.N.A.G (Sensitive New Aged Guy). What happened to those guys? Dumped, divorced, cheated on, depressed.
By the way “anon.” The most-likely reason why you “loved” your ex boyfriend (uhhh, why is he now an ex?) for crying is that it made him appear more vulnerable and weak. Why is that good for a girl like you? Women like you want a man to be weak so that when the relationship ends, you will be able to let go easier because he never was enough of a man for you. Instead of losing more confidence in yourself as an attractive option for a man, you will blame him for the break up and tell yourself that he wasn’t enough of a man for you.
You say it makes you love him more, but really it makes you feel better about yourself because you know that you will be able to get over the break up. You will tell yourself that there is a better man out there for you.
Women like my girlfriend don’t want a weak man. She loves being in love with a man who can have any woman he wants, but chooses her instead. She is brave in that sense because she would rather experience true love with a masculine man that she continues to feel attraction and respect for, than be with a broken man who she secretly doesn’t respect as a man.
It’s because of women like you that I have to work even harder to help the men of this world. Your twisted, impetuous advice does more harm than good.
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan,
I consider myself a Highly Sensiive Person, empathic to others emotions, compassionate to suffering in people and animals.
I feel that I always give a 100% in my relationships or flings with women but end up being used , manipulated, cheated on or kept in the friend zone.
It is slightly worrying that men aren’t allowed to cry in front of women, I would in fact say that I believe that this is one of the things wrong with western society, as children, males are actively discouraged from showing any negative emotion apart from anger. I feel that emotions are a blessing that we experience in our physical journey on earth and should be embraced not supressed, even the ‘crying’ negative emotions are useful. That being said , I admit to having problems in my relationships with women. So perhaps I should start crying alone?
Final point is this; Women are majorly attracted to famous males , I.e main character in a chick flick, if this isn’t the way they want ‘us’ to act then why do they frequently mention their attraction to these types of characters. Last question, most of my ex girlfriends kept going on about attractive guys on TV because they knew it made me insecure. What is the best action to do to try and brush such comments off? Keep gong on about other hot women?
Being quite a spiritual person , the realisation that this is the way Women work & indeed the world in general works then I am quite concerned and worried. But the Modern mans products do seem to make sense it just bursts a few bubbles.
Thanks for reading.
Tomcat
P.s , really enjoyed The Flow, looking forward to receiving free product.
Hi Tomcat
Thanks for your question and honesty about yourself and your situation.
About embracing your emotions and living them: That is exactly what I teach in Better Than a Bad Boy. However, a man is meant to maintain control of his emotions. If you can’t accept that and be a strong man for women, they will lose respect and attraction for you and dump, cheat on you, etc.
About women referring to famous males: Yes, people refer to famous people in conversation all the time because it’s a common reference point. For instance, men talking about sports players with co-workers.
About women being the directors of how men should act: That’s where you’ve got it wrong. We men are the ones in charge. Thinking that women are the leaders (in terms of the dynamic in a sexual relationship) is one of your core problems with women…and they secretly resent you because of it.
About your ex’s making you jealous with those comments: Yes, as explained in Better Than a Bad Boy, women ALWAYS test their man from the first moment they meet and throughout the entire relationship. Women test to see if you are stronger than them, mentally and emotionally. If you want to become stronger, mentally and emotionally, watch Better Than a Bad Boy.
Cheers
Dan
I am a girl, and I must say this is so amazing. I want every man I know to read everything on this website, especially this. When I read the part about how we want somebody as sweet as a character in a movie – but ONLY after we are already attracted to them, I actually smiled because it is so true. We don’t want to date boys we want to date men. Men are confident, strong, masculine and assertive and intelligent but they are also kind, compassionate and caring. It has to be balanced, and masculinity should definitely be displayed before anything else! THAT is the attraction and THAT is what we look for!
Great article, definitely sharing with my clueless mates!
Hey Sov
Thanks for your comment. Much appreciated.
It’s great to hear from a lot of women lately who agree with the things we’re teaching. We have a mission here at The Modern Man to enlighten as many guys as we can to the truth about what women REALLY want regarding initial interactions, dates, sex and relationships. Through that, both men and women will benefit. Thanks for passing on the article to your mates!
Cheers
Dan
Women would rather have a strong man treat them badly than a weak man treat them well.
Hi Dianne
Thanks for your comment.
However, you’re not entirely correct. A more accurate way of saying that is:
Most women would rather put up with a strong man treating them badly, than be with a weak man who treats them well. However, what women really want is a strong man who treats them well.
That is what I teach in Better Than a Bad Boy: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89
Cheers
Dan
Hey Dan, recently I just me this girl who is HOT. Like I’m talking about a straight up 10/10. And to make a long story short, how I got her wasn’t about being a jerk or a bad boy at all. All I was was confident, masculine, and placed myself above her in terms of dominance. And I combined this alpha mentality with a nice guy side. Example was when we went on a bike ride, I made sure she rode to the side of me that was away from the street, and when we were in the gym and I was lifting heavy with dumbells, I made sure she stood a few feet away from so in case i dropped anything, she wouldn’t get hurt from the weights. It was this caring, protecting attitude combined with just making her feel lots of positive emotions around me and being that “charming guy” that really made her like me. It was being masculine and confident combined with a genuine caring, sort of a bad boy with a heart attitude that really got her to REALLY like me. And she told me this herself. It’s just great to see that you don’t have to be a jerk at all, in fact women hate that. They want to be around a masculine confident guy, that is still nice and that’s just awesome to see.
Hey Tony
Thanks for sharing your success so far.
Yes, most guys haven’t had the training you’ve now had by going through two of our programs. What most guys get is the FANTASY and FICTIONAL versions of reality that are shown in movies. For instance, with the movie “Superman: Man of Steel” there is a scene where superman tells Lios Lane to “stand back” and move away from him before he flies off into the sky. He is being a nice, caring guy in that moment and is looking out for her, but what MOST guys don’t realize is that ONLY doing that (nice, caring stuff) around women is NOT enough. They don’t know what you know and so they end up thinking that women like bad boys and jerks.
Enjoy the great times ahead.
Cheers
Dan
If I walked up to a girl at a bar and said that I was doing my master’s in heart surgery, then walked up to another girl at the same bar and said that I just got out of rehab, which one of the girls would likely give me a positive response ?
Hey Faisal
Thanks for your question.
The second one because it would be funny. However, I realize (from seeing your other comments on the site about women) that you are probably serious. From looking through your comments, it’s pretty clear that you’re one of the many confused modern man who think that women choose men based on looks, money, etc. Yet, here’s the facts:
1. Most guys around the world live pay check to pay check, but they have a girlfriend.
2. Most guys are not “good looking,” yet they have a girlfriend or wife.
Conclusion: It’s not about money or looks. What is it about? Watch this to find out: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89
Cheers
Dan
The question is: how do i know if a woman is behaving womanly or if it is unacceptable?
Hey Danny
I’m going to need more information than that. What do you mean? Why are you asking the question?
Cheers
Dan
This is a good article.
Its very true that the Bad Boy is not what is desired from sane healthy women. The bad boys have basically integrated desirable masculine archetypes into their own persona that are very attractive to women. They did however miss an important one out and that’s to openly be able to express love to the women. Hence their distance to women. The nice guy unfortunately is all love. to the point of needing the woman’s love and expressing zero masculine qualities. One of the most empowering moments in my life was walking away from a relationship where i was the stereotypical weak guy with a woman who did not truly give a shit about me and realizing how pathetic i had been when it came to relationships in the past and why they had all failed. If i had stayed in that relationship i would have got dumped no doubt. She also couldn’t handle it when i displayed any kind of dominant behavior. This matches up with what is said in this article how the girl who gets with weak men only does so because shes scared shitess of giving her heart to a real man in case he rips it out of her. This is what bad boys do in most instances. Nice guys sit there pathetically waiting for these women to love them, which they never will .
Hey Dan
Thanks for the positive feedback and for contributing your thoughts.
You make some great points there that I suggest other guys read through.
Cheers
Dan