Girls are most attracted to a guy’s confidence. So, you have to allow her to feel your confidence before, during and after the kiss. That’s the secret to really making the kiss feel the most exciting for her.
When is the right time to kiss a girl? How do you know if she’s interested?
The most obvious moment when a girl wants to kiss you is when you and her are hugging each other and then pull back to look at each other eye-to-eye. If she stays there just looking you in the eyes and not moving away, then she is open to kissing you.
If she wasn’t open to kissing you in that moment, she would look away or quickly pull away after you’d had a brief hug. In most cases, a girl won’t kiss you first, but will simply give you an opportunity to confidently and calmly begin kissing her.
Most girls dream of having one of those “movie moments” where the moment is right and the guy has the confidence to make a move.
However, many guys are afraid of making a move and getting rejected, so let’s talk about how to kiss a girl without experiencing an embarrassing rejection if she doesn’t want to kiss you. We’ll start with some of the common problems that you may encounter when it comes time to French kiss a girl for the first time.
You might be:
- Chatting to a girl that you’ve gotten alone with in a bar, but you’re unsure of the right time to kiss her, or what moves you can make to ensure she doesn’t reject you.
- Afraid of being rejected and ruining a great friendship that you have with a girl, if you move in for a kiss and she isn’t interested.
- On a date and unsure if and when you should kiss the girl. Note: In most cases, not kissing a girl on a first date often leads to awkward moments for you both at the end of the date.
Confidence is Your #1 Weapon With Girls: It Beats Everything Else
Most girls are turned off by men who don’t have the confidence to kiss a girl on a first date. In the past, a woman would accept a lack of confidence because most marriages were arranged and there weren’t many men to choose from. She wasn’t able to get out there and date and have sex with many men, until she found the most confident of them all.
Times have changed and most girls don’t settle for anything less than a truly confident guy who knows how to make her feel the way she yearns to feel.
When I lacked confidence in myself, most girls would reject me and tell me that they just weren’t interested. I thought that I wasn’t good looking enough, tall enough or lacked the all important “big muscles” that women were looking for.
Yet, it all came back to my confidence. I doubted myself around girls and they hated that. I had no idea how to kiss a girl who didn’t make it completely obvious that she wanted me to do so.
I remember having many 2-hour dates with girls, only to experience that awkward moment at the end where I just couldn’t work up the courage to move in for a kiss.
Even though I wanted to, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it because I didn’t want to stuff things up. When I did give it a try, the vibe just wasn’t there because I wasn’t confident enough, so the girl wasn’t even that attracted.
As you may have experienced in your dating life, this type of early dating rejection often results in the girl not wanting to see you again. I can remember 3 different girls saying to me, “Umm, yeah…well you’re a nice guy, but I think we should just be friends…” when I called them up to get a second date.
How to Kiss a Girl: Change the Vibe
Before kissing a girl, you need to change the vibe from just “friendly conversation” to the point where there is plenty of sexual tension between you and her.
To build sexual tension between you and a girl, you need to use certain attraction techniques, which I can teach you about here at The Modern Man. In addition to building plenty of sexual tension before you kiss, you need to work out whether it’s the right time or place to be kissing.
Some girls don’t mind kissing in public places or in front of their friends. However most girls (especially modern, independent ones) like to kiss away from prying eyes.
Some places you might want to kiss a girl are: In a car, lounge room or bedroom, by the beach, in a quiet street or when you’re parting ways at the end of the date. When a girl is interested in kissing you, you will see distinct changes in her behavior and body language.
For example: She will make more eye contact with you, laugh at all your jokes, tilt her head down and look up at you in a shy way, etc.
As mentioned at the beginning of the post, she will also stay in an embrace/hug and hold eye contact with you, without trying to get away from you. When those sorts of things happen, you have to be confident enough to give her one of those “movie moments” and kiss her confidently and calmly.
I promise you, that sort of approach will make her melt and she’ll be excitedly telling all of her girlfriends about how sexy you are (because of your confident moves).
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Hey dan love dating power. I have struggled with women most of my college career and was frustrated with life. Then I used the flow and hooked up with my first girl at a party. However the past year I’ve been in a drought. I used your flirting techniques on a girl last week and got her interested and got her number. I was excited because I haven’t gone on a date with an attractive girl in a while. So on the date I took her to starbucks and used the flirting expressions from dating power and she was laughing. I also used statements followed by questions. I was using the confidence boosters to feel more confident although I was a little nervous since it’s been a while. Then I told her we should get some fresh air and took her for a walk around town. Then I tried some of the indicators from dating power to see if she was interested and then she recoiled. I was pretty mad about this because I thought we were headed to a kiss. Then when I dropped her off she said she’s talking to someone else right now. I was seeking your professional advice and was wondering this occurred because I’m starting to use the techniques and have to work on building more confidence and getting through the awkward stage or was my approach wrong? Thanks dan
Hey Jordan
Thanks for your positive feedback and question.
It sounds like she was attracted to you, but lost attraction because you displayed a bit too much nervousness and hesitation around her. Essentially, she would have felt stronger than you (mentally and emotionally) and that would have made it feel awkward for her. Some girls don’t mind if they feel stronger than the guy, but in this case she did.
Additionally, her recoiling when you attempted to kiss her could have just been a test of your confidence. If she was already feeling a bit dubious about your level of confidence, she would have tested by playing hard to get. If she saw you become nervous and begin to doubt yourself around her, she then would have known that you and her weren’t compatible.
I discuss the tests that women put men through in detail in Better Than a Bad Boy. I think it would be the perfect program for you to watch now that you’re getting better with women: http://store.themodernman.com/products/better_than_a_bad_boy.html
Cheers
Dan
Thanks dan it’s frustrating getting close to getting some action with a girl and then getting turned down. But it’s an opportunity to improve my toughness and is very fixable. This getting better with women process is actually fun! I just got better than a bad boy, which part should I focus specifically on?
Hey Jordan
Yes, it’s a process that you have to go through. The stronger you become, the easier it gets.
These are the four stages you will go through on your way to mastering this:
1. Unconscious incompetence: You don’t even know that you’re doing it wrong.
2. Conscious incompetence: You know what you’re doing wrong.
3. Conscious competence: You can do it correctly, but you have to think about it while doing it.
4. Unconscious competence: You can do it correctly without thinking about it.
About which parts to focus on from the Better Than a Bad Boy program: All of it! Learn it, let it sink into your brain, apply it in your life and then reap the rewards.
Cheers
Dan