If you want to get her back, you need to stop saying and doing the types of things that will turn her off and start saying and doing the types of things that will attract her to you.
When a girl has already dumped you, anything that you say to turn her off will simply push her away further from you, so you have to be careful about how you approach things.
If you approach this correctly from now on and only say and do things that will make her feel attracted to you, then you will have a very high chance of getting her back. I know this because I’ve already helped hundreds of guys to successfully get a woman back.
It’s Not Entirely Your Fault That You’ve Been Dumped
Growing up, most of us don’t get taught how to be happy in a relationship with a woman by our school teachers or parents.
We are essentially left on our own to work it all out, so it’s no surprise that many guys end up dumped (or divorced) by the woman they love after making the same old classic mistakes (e.g. being insecure, needy, clingy, controlling, taking her for granted, etc) in a relationship.
So, make sure that you’re not going around thinking that it’s only YOU who has messed up with a woman and now needs help. Many guys go through what you’re going through now.
Personally speaking, back when I got dumped there wasn’t anyone online helping guys to get a woman back. So, I was completely on my own with it. I made a lot of classic mistakes, which pretty much every other guy makes too.
To help ensure that you avoid the classic mistakes that will drive her away, here are 5 important questions for you…
1. Do you know what you need to do to get her back?
This will be slightly different for every guy, but there are some common things that need to be improved, adjusted or changed.
Watch this video to understand the process she went through before breaking up with you and what you need to do to show her that you’ve changed…
After you’ve put in some effort to fix or improve on your issues (you can do that by going through my 10 hour video program called Get Your Ex Back: Super System), you need to get her on the phone and arrange to meet up with her in person.
At the meet up, you need to allow her to experience a renewed feeling of respect and attraction for you. This will happen automatically if you have truly fixed or improved on any issues that you have (e.g. insecurity or taking her for granted).
Making her feel respect and attraction for you again won’t fix everything, but it will open the door to her heart once again. She will begin to drop her guard and open her mind up to the possibility of being with you again.
2. Have you promised her that you will change, rather than actually changing
Saying sorry and promising her that you will change isn’t enough for most women.
In most cases, a woman will want to see that you have already changed and have at least started to become the type of man she wanted you to be all along.
Your ex probably doesn’t want to give you another chance, only to discover that two months later you still have the same insecurities and have simply been putting on an act. She wants you to truly change.
3. Have you been taking all the blame?
While it is essential to acknowledge your part in the breakup and strive toward making changes, it is a mistake to put all of the blame on yourself. Why?
- She will likely assume that you’re just trying to make her feel guilty for not taking any blame. This will make her lose more respect and attraction for you.
- She might use it against you (e.g. keep threatening to break up with you unless you obey all of her demands). If you put up with her bad behavior, she will lose more respect and attraction for you.
Instead of taking all of the blame for the demise of your relationship, you simply need to own up to the mistakes you have made and ask her what mistakes she made. Then, you need to switch the conversation to something more positive and light-hearted.
If you spend too much time apologizing or getting her to admit her mistakes, she may turn around and say, “I don’t care…we are broken up…I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
4. Have you been too emotional or sensitive about the break up?
There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging how sad you are about the breakup, but it’s a huge mistake to become overly-emotional to the point where you make her feel like she has to be gentle with you because you’re so emotionally sensitive.
Not knowing what else to do, some guys react by whining, begging or even crying to a woman in the hope that it will make her change her mind. Yet, women aren’t attracted to the emotional weakness of men.
If you want to get her back, you have to say and do the types of things that will make her feel respect and attraction for you, which means being a confident, happy, emotionally strong man with or without her.
6. Have you tried using tricks like the No Contact Rule?
In an attempt to win her back, some guys will use whatever “tricks” they can to make their ex jealous and get her back. However, after coaching 100s of guys through break ups and helping them quickly get back with their ex, I have found that lies, tricks and deception will backfire in most cases.
For example: Some guys use the commonly known No Contact Rule and avoid contacting their ex for 30-60 days.
In some cases, it does cause the woman to miss him, contact him and they then get back together. If he hasn’t changed the things that caused her to break up with him in the first place, she simply dumps him again and moves on.
However, in most cases, the woman will simply enjoy the fact that her ex boyfriend (fiance or husband) isn’t contacting her and will use that time to move on without him.
Another common trick that a guy will use is to pretend that he’s not interested in getting back with her. He’ll say he understands her reasons for the break up and is happy to just be friends. He will then try to stay in her life, hoping that she develops feelings for him for being such a good friend.
Yet, that rarely works because most women see through it. Instead of telling him to go away, a woman will often allow him to act like a friend and think that he has a chance to get her back, while she secretly tries to find a replacement guy.
Then, one day she tells him that she has met someone else, is in love and no longer wants him hanging around as a friend because it might ruin her new relationship.
Whatever the situation is between you and your woman, make sure that you don’t waste time and ruin your opportunity by using tricks or lies.
What you need to do is begin to fix and improve yourself and then get her to meet up with you in person to experience the new you. At the meet up, you also need to apologize and get her to forgive you.
She will then begin to look at you in a more positive light and you simply need to keep pushing forward to get her to give the relationship another chance.
If you would like me to guide you through that process right now, get started by watching Get Your Ex Back: Super System
All the examples and instructions are provided in the program. Simply follow the steps and you will be on your way to getting her back in your life and in your arms…
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Hey Dan,
I have the plan to get my ex back. But not right now. The circumstances are pretty bad. We had a long distance relationship. She lives in California and I am in Germany. It worked out for 1,5 years but now she found another man. So my plan is to get her back when I live in California myself. Which will take like 2 years from now. Then I would need a system like you are offering! So what is the best approach for now ? Just no contact like I do now – ignore Christmas and Birthday and so on ?
Hey Phil
Thanks for your question.
Yes, I would avoid unnecessary contact, but a bit of contact is fine here and there as long as it’s mutual. In the meantime, I’d recommend you focus on becoming an even better man than you are now: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89
Cheers
Dan
Hi dan My ex broke up with me two days before my birthday , everything seemed fine a few days before that , it’s like she done a complete 180 on the relationship but want to be friends, we did spend a lot of time together so will be a the problem, I would like to get back with her
Hey Nick
Thanks for your comment.
If she just wants to be friends, it means that she’s no longer attracted to you. If you want to get those feelings of attraction back in her, use the techniques in this program: http://store.themodernman.com/in/23b8291
Cheers
Dan