Is it Okay For Men to Cry?

A woman might not say anything in the moment, but crying like a woman would (e.g. over a movie or challenging time in life) will almost always decrease the amount of respect and attraction she feels for you.

Some women, especially those who are insecure and want an emotionally weak man who needs them, will say that they LIKE a guy who cries.

Of course she does; she wants an emotionally weak man who needs her for his emotional security and stability. She isn’t confident enough in herself to be with a man who is so emotionally strong and secure that he would be absolutely happy and fine, with or without her.

So, don’t get led astray by what random women say about wanting men to cry. From all of my years of research into sexual attraction between men and women, I have found that crying in front of a woman reduces the amount of attraction and respect for you. However, there are some exceptions to that rule.

Acceptable Times to Cry or Get “Watery-Eyed”

There are times when it is perfectly acceptable for guys to shed a tear or get watery eyes. Women are not turned off sexually if a guy becomes watery eyed at the funeral of a close loved one.

However, some guys don’t feel the need to cry in that situation because they’ve already though about life and death and knew it was coming. Instead, they will fully experience the grief, loss and sadness, but will not need to cry about it.

It really depends on the man’s outlook on life. It’s not right for anyone to say whether a guy can’t cry at the funeral of a closed loved one because it is a personal choice that has to do with his philosophical outlook on life.

I have found that a woman will still be just as sexually attracted to her man if he does or doesn’t cry at the funeral of a close loved one. Yet, if he wails and sobs for a long time and she has to comfort him for hours (or days), then she will naturally begin feeling turned off by his inability to maintain control of his emotions and face the reality of life.

No matter how difficult the situation is that a guy is faced with, falling to pieces is not attractive or encouraging to a woman. A woman still wants to know that she can rely on her man; even when everything around him has hit rock bottom.

Another exception for crying is shedding “tears of joy.” Not actual “tears,” but a slight misting (watering) of the eyes is okay.

Events that warrant such a reaction can include: The birth of your child, a triumphant moment for humanity, a well deserved and hard earned graduation, victory in an ultimate sport event such as winning Olympic Gold, and other such overwhelmingly triumphant and emotional events and occasions.

Women are fine with a man becoming watery eyed in such moments, but they are not fine if he wails, sobs or cries uncontrollably.

Crying, at the above-mentioned times is normal and acceptable and does nothing to diminish a man’s credibility or masculinity. In fact, a man who can experience depth of emotion can be attractive to women.

Remember: Men who wail, whine and cry at the drop of a hat are definitely NOT attractive. Women perceive such a man to be more like a woman and thus they don’t feel the type of sexual attraction and respect that they naturally feel for men.

The TV Show That Gets Me “Watery-Eyed”

I am happy to admit that pretty much EVERY time I watch Long Island Medium, it gets me watery-eyed. Why? Watch an episode and see for yourself.

Prior to watching that show, I wasn’t interested in having a family, but it has completely changed the way I feel about life, love and family. It reminds me of the connection we all have as humans and the bigger family we seem to be a part of.

HOWEVER, despite how emotionally moving the show is, I never let myself lose control of my emotions to the point where I actually cry or shed tears. Why? That is what the feminine does. The masculine maintains control of his emotions and the feminine loses control.

I am a man and because of that, I don’t think, behave or act like a woman. I sit there watching the show with my girlfriend and the most I ever get is watery eyed, whereas she’s always reaching for a tissue to wipe away her tears.

There’s nothing wrong with a man acting like a woman (e.g. a gay guy), but if a heterosexual man behaves like a woman, he’s not going to be seen as a masculine man that most women want to have sex or a relationship with.

He may be able to attract some very masculine women who are looking for a weak man, but most women will be turned off by him at a fundamental level.

Think about it…

Imagine a really masculine man. He’s tough, confident and alpha. When you interact with him, you naturally feel as though you should respect him. You also feel safe around him because you know that most other guys would fear him.

Then, all of a sudden, he starts crying uncontrollably about how he lost his job and looking for someone to comfort him and make it all better. Do you still look at him as a truly masculine man? If you do, then you don’t understand what it means to be a man and you’ve most-likely been acting like a bit of a woman in your life.

If you think it is masculine to lose control of your emotions like a woman, then I don’t even have to guess about whether or not women remain attracted to you in a relationship – I know for a fact that they’d lose interest in a guy like that.

A guy like that might be able to get himself into a relationship, but his feminine side (i.e lack of masculinity in the area of maintaining control of his emotions), will eventually turn the woman off and she’ll lose interest.

Unacceptable Times to Cry or Get “Watery Eyed”

When a man is facing difficulties and obstacles in his life, it is understandable that he can (and will) become upset about it. Dealing with problems in life is normal, but weeping like a little child because of it, is not.

Life might throw you lemons at times, but whether you choose to make lemonade from those lemons, or cry over your misfortune, is what separates the men from the boys.

So here are some examples of when it is not okay for a man to cry:

• After losing his job / being fired from work.
• During a fight with his girlfriend / wife.
• While his house is being repossessed.
• When his cat / dog / canary dies.
• When is passed over for a promotion.
• When the love of his life has ditches him.
• While watching The Lion King.
• When trying to get his ex back (e.g. while begging and pleading with her).

Okay, you get the picture, right? No matter how tough life gets, if you are a man and want women to perceive you as being a man, it is not okay to cry about it.

If a man cries every time he’s faced with a problem in life, he begins to look mentally and emotionally weak to women. Women are naturally attracted to men who are like pillars of strength in this world and naturally turned off by men who crumble into a pile of sand/gravel when pushed or challenged.

Masculine strength is what women find attractive in a man because it is what they rely on for day to day support and also in times of difficulty. Women don’t want your weakness, even if they SAY that they do when being politically correct in TV interviews.

Most Women ENJOY Crying

Many women admit that they “love a good cry” and a lot of them cry a couple of times a month. However, if a guy starts behaving like a woman and decides that he “loves a good cry” too, he will be fundamentally unattractive to a woman because unlike a man who is a pillar of strength, he is like a pillar of sand that crumbles when challenged.

A guy who loves to cry is more interested in feeling like a woman than being a strong man who can be a pillar of strength in this world. Don’t get sucked into thinking that “showing your sensitive side” will make women say, “Awwww…he’s so cute and vulnerable. I want to hold him and take care of him forever.”

Women may say, “Awww, how sweet” when a guy cries, but secretly they feel NO attraction for him at all. Women are attracted to the strength in men and turned off by the weakness. It is a fact of nature.

Be Careful Where You Get Your Advice on What it Means to Be a Man

Over the years, I’ve been asked all sorts of questions by guys who are seeking to improve their success with women. It’s no surprise to me that lately, a common question has been, “Is it okay for men to cry?” because the media is full of examples of men crying and then women encouraging it.

Sometimes the women are just being politcally correct for the cameras and other times they are honestly saying that they like when a man cries (because they prefer weaker men).

You should also note that not all of the women will encourage it when it happens in front of them. Many of them women will shut their mouth, look down or away and then hope that the guy stops being such a girl.

In the early to mid 1900s, the “real men” were usually depicted as being the hardy guys who could raise a barn, fight a war, skin a deer, strip and re-assemble an entire car and sweep a woman off her feet, all in the space of a single afternoon.

Guys like John Wayne, Clark Gable and Humphrey Bogart were the icons of manhood; and above all else these guys depicted the feelings of the era: Real men don’t cry.

Enter the 1980s and 1990s…

Fed up with the whole macho image of previous eras, popular culture began taking a more gentle and feminine approach to the issue of men crying. Women had a voice in the media and they really began to use it.

The media, women’s magazines such as Cosmopolitan and even the psychologists of the day began to publicly encourage men to “get in touch with their feelings” and to “express their feminine side.” This heralded the beginning of a new era where men were now forcefully encouraged to, “Let it all out and have a good cry.”

Confused by all the hype, men turned themselves into S.N.A.Gs (Sensitive New Aged Men) and began to “express” themselves by crying openly during a sad movie, crying to their girlfriend/wife or a woman they were interested in…and the backlash was extreme.

Women everywhere began running in the opposite direction, crying out, “EEEEEWWWWW!!!!” Why? No matter what women might say on TV or even in person, they are not sexually attracted to the weakness in men.

Displaying emotion is fine, but emotional weakness and being overly-sensitive is not. Enter the 21st century and men are just as confused as ever. So, it’s no surprise that so many guys are arriving at The Modern Man everyday and asking, “Is it okay for men to cry?”

Be careful where you get your advice on how to be a man. Most of what you hear in the media is politically correct bullshit and will actually reduce your success with women.

If you want to be successful with women and you don’t know how to go about it, learn from a proven expert like me – not from random people on TV who are almost always going to censor or tone down what they say to be politically correct and avoid offending anyone.

Staying in Control of  Your Emotions: That is the Key

Hopefully, I have answered the question of, “Is it okay for men to cry?” clearly enough for you and have put the debate to rest.

While it is okay to get watery-eyed (teary-eyed) about something, it is not okay to lose control of your emotions like a woman. If you do, women will naturally feel turned off by your lack of masculinity.

Ultimately, success with women is about taking on your natural role as a man. Men who behave in ways that make them appear weaker than a woman (i.e. can’t control his emotions) are unattractive by women.

If a man is weaker than her (emotionally), a woman will either reject him if he’s just approached her, or dump him if he’s managed to get into a relationship with her.

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