Is My Long Distance Relationship Working?

Even if a man and a woman are on opposites sides of the world while in a long distance relationship, the woman will stick by her man and be 100% faithful to him if she feels that he is worth it.

If your woman feels proud to be with you and feels a lot of respect, love and attraction for you, then there is no need for her to cheat on you or break up with you. If you are making her feel that way, other men simply won’t compare to you.

She will know that it would be a big mistake and a huge personal loss for her to choose a lesser man over you.

Think about it…

Many soldiers go off to war and come back to a woman who has faithfully waited for months or even more than a year for him to return. While he was away, she didn’t cheat, she didn’t want to leave him and she couldn’t wait to be in his arms once again.

She literally counted down the days until she could see him again. She excitedly planned many things for them to do together when he got home. She kissed him and blissfully hugged him and didn’t want to let go.

That is what is possible when you have the right relationship dynamic and make a woman feel increasing amounts of love, respect and attraction over time.

Not all guys get it right though.

Continuing on with the soldier example here, many soldiers come back to find that their girlfriend or wife is no longer in love with him, has moved on with someone else or has been sleeping around behind his back.

In cases like that, the woman is either someone of bad character (i.e. disloyal, untrustworthy), immature and not ready for a truly committed relationship or it is actually about him not being worth sticking by and being faithful to.

So, if you are wondering, “Is my long distance relationship working?” then it’s safe to bet that you’re probably not really sure how much love, respect and attraction your woman truly feels for you, right?

The fact is, you may not even really know how to deepen a woman’s respect, love and attraction for you in a relationship. You may be one of the guys who are making the mistake of just hoping that the relationship works because you’ve been a good man to and have been telling her how much you love or need her in your life.

As you will discover in this post, being good to her is not enough. You also need to make her feel a lot of respect, love and attraction for you. Without that, it’s very easy for a long distance to fall apart.

4 Signs That Your Long Distance Relationship is in Trouble

No relationship runs perfectly 24/7, 365 days a year, but what separates the strong relationships from the weak ones is that couples in strong relationships fix any problems that come up and become even closer as a result.

If there are problems in your relationship that keep happening over and over again and you haven’t been able to fix them, it means that your relationship is in trouble. You have to grow and become even closer by fixing any problems that come up and becoming a more harmonious, in love couple.

If you are wondering, “Is my long distance relationship working?” you may have been experiencing one or more of the following problems with her:

1. She doesn’t return your calls or text messages.

Unless something else in her life, such as a hectic work schedule or having a crazy study schedule, is taking up all of her free time, a woman will always make herself available for the man she loves; especially in a long distance relationship.

No matter how busy she gets, a woman who is in a loving relationship will crave to get a “love fix” from her guy. She will need the constant flow of his love into her heart and mind. His love will be something that comes to define who she is and she will feel like it is part of the sustenance that keeps her alive and happy.

This means that no matter what else is going on in her life, she will proactively talk to him by returning his calls, or at the very least text him a quick, “Sorry, I’m really busy right now, but I’m thinking of you! I love you. Talk tomorrow.” She will then contact him the next day and be happy to talk to him.

If your girlfriend is not returning your calls or texts and when you mention this to her she gives you a vague excuse like, “Oh, sorry, I was just SO busy,” or “My phone is acting weird and I didn’t get your message,” more than once or twice, it is a clear sign that she’s losing interest in you, or at least losing interest in continuing with a long distance relationship.

A good way to test this is to stop calling and texting her for a few days. If she’s still into you, she will call you up and be worried about why you haven’t called her. On the other hand if she doesn’t, you have some serious decisions to make.

Personally speaking, since working out the attraction and relationship techniques that I teach here at The Modern Man, I have never had to proactively call my women to stay in touch. They have always eagerly stayed in touch with me.

Now that I’m engaged and planning to get married in the future, the same rule still applies. My fiancé is madly in love with me and can’t stand to be apart from me, even though she is a perfectly confident and emotionally secure woman.

The reason she can’t stand to be apart from me is that she feels so much love, respect and attraction for me. It feels good to be around me, even if we are sitting on the couch and watching TV or if I’m in my office here writing up new posts for The Modern Man and all she gets is a 15 minutes with me every hour or so when I take a break.

The love that we share in our relationship is far beyond what we would experience if either of us hooked up with someone new. When you have that type of love in your relationship, there is no need to break up, cheat or fight. You just love each other so much and happily and very gladly move forward in life as a couple.

2. She’s almost always unavailable when you try to reach her and she’s vague about the people she hangs out with.

Part of what you have to accept when you have a long distance relationship is the fact that your girlfriend will be going out without you.

She will be going out to coffee shops and restaurants, to parties and even to bars and clubs with other people, which will most likely include other guys in the group.

This is the challenge of not being together; you both still have to have normal, fulfilling lives without each other. This is natural and normal and if your girlfriend keeps you up to speed with what she’s doing and whom she’s with (and visa versa), there shouldn’t be anything to worry about.

However, if you’re sitting at home pining over her and avoiding going out with your friends so that you can call her 3 times a day or night and she’s out partying it up and never telling you where she’s going and who she with, it is a clear sign that she’s either opening herself up to meet a new man, or is already dating and having sex with other men without you knowing about it.

If she loves you, respects you and wants to be with you, your girlfriend will be very open and honest about what she’s doing and whom she’s hanging out with while she’s away from you. If this is not the case, she clearly has something to hide.

Personally speaking, I have come to realize that you can never trust a woman 100% in a relationship, but you simply have to. Likewise, she can never trust you 100%, but she has to in order for the relationship be harmonious and for the love to mature between you.

You’ve just got to give her your trust. If you don’t feel that she deserves it because she keeps lying to you, then you simply have to dump her to show her that you’re serious. If that doesn’t wake her up and get her to apologize profusely to you, then she doesn’t even love you or care about the relationship.

3. She isn’t very interested in sharing many details about her day-to-day life with you.

In a loving relationship, a couple wants to listen and share details about their life, even if those details aren’t even very important. You love her and care about her, so you are willing to listen (even if it’s just for 30 seconds to a minute) as she tells you about something she was thinking that day or that happened during her day.

Likewise, if you want to talk about something random that you were thinking or that happened during your day, a woman who loves you will listen and be there with you in the moment, even if she doesn’t think what you’re talking about is very important. The fact that you are saying it is important enough to give her attention to it.

If your girlfriend isn’t telling you what’s going on in her life, she is clearly beginning to distance herself from you. She might not want to lose you, but based on how she is feeling, she is beginning to become open to not having you in her life.

This may be because she’s tired of having to be in a long distance relationship while all her friends are able to kiss, hold hands and have sex with their boyfriends, while she can only talk to you on the phone, Skype, Facebook video call, Facetime, etc.

Her being distant with you may also be because she’s trying to push you into taking the lead in the relationship by making plans to bring the two of you together. She wants to see if you will step up and make something happen before it is too late, even if that means arranging for her to come to see you or to meet half way.

4. She makes excuses when you try to arrange a meet up.

One of the most important aspects of a long distance relationship is the number of times a couple can get together in person. Even if it is once a month or once a year, seeing each other in person helps to keep your feelings alive and fresh.

By getting together in person and creating memories with each other, you will create a special bond that she can hold on to when she’s at home alone, or when she’s out with her girlfriends who are hugging and kissing their boyfriends.

When she can remember the last time you went out together on a romantic date, had passionate sex and spent time building a deeper connection, it will be easier for her to remain faithful and happy until your next hook up.

On the other hand, if every time you suggest getting together in person, she gives you a lame excuse like, “It’s just not a good time for me right now,” or “I think you should concentrate on work (or your studies). We can get together when things aren’t so busy for you,” she’s likely moved on with her life (maybe has even found herself another boyfriend), but just doesn’t want to come right out and tell you.

A woman who is in love with her man and needs to feel his love in person will do anything and everything to try to meet up with him. She might even work two jobs or sell items from her house or apartment to be able to afford a ticket to come and see you.

That’s how powerful true love, respect and attraction is. Nothing else compares to it. The feeling that you get together when in a relationship is better than a new person could offer you in a relationship. You want to be together and nothing will stop you.

On the other hand, if your woman doesn’t really care whether or not she sees you, it means that you’ve unknowingly set up the dynamic of the relationship incorrectly. In other words, you’ve made the mistake of needing her more than she needs you.

To make a relationship with a woman last for life, she has to feel like she is lucky to be with you. She has to look up to you and respect you and feel like she is lucky to be with a great guy like you.

That doesn’t happen by treating her even nicer than you have been already. It’s about being a man that she can look up to and respect and it’s about ensuring that she knows how valuable of a man you really are.

If your woman feels like she is more valuable than you and that you’re the lucky one, then she may open her heart to another guy who makes her feel lucky to be interacting with him.

A woman wants to feel excited to be with her man, rather than feeling like she is doing him a favor by being with him.

Are You Making Her Feel Enough Attraction For You?

Women are attracted to the strength in men and turned off by the weakness.

To be successful in a relationship (long distance or not), you have to make your woman feel the default types of attraction for you by at least being a confident, masculine and emotionally strong man. If you are insecure and emotionally weak, it will turn her off on a deep level and she will find it difficult to hold onto any feelings of attraction she once had for you.

It won’t matter to her if you build more muscle at the gym, lose weight or put on weight, wear stylish new clothes or get a new haircut; she still won’t feel much or any attraction for you because you aren’t even getting the fundamentals (i.e. confidence, masculinity in how you think, behave and communicate with her, emotional strength) right.

When in a long distance relationship, she will be meeting other guys throughout her daily life and if the only recent memories she has of you are that you are insecure and feeling desperate or lost without her, a new guy’s confidence will be even more appealing to her.

She will compare you to him and wonder why she is with you when you can’t even make her feel attracted. She will think about why she feels attracted to the new guy and, if the love and connection that you share isn’t very strong or worthy sticking around for, she may decide to open herself up to being with the new guy.

In a long distance relationship, it’s easy to let your mind run wild with insecure thoughts like “What if she meets another guy?” “What if she starts thinking that a long distance relationship is not for her?” “What if she gets tired of waiting?” “What if she gets horny and just wants to have some casual sex?” etc.

It is understandable that you might think that way, but it will never, ever help you. Being insecure in a relationship is never, ever something that will make your woman feel more attraction and respect for you.

She has to see that you are not worried and are not threatened by other guys. Yes, she may still cheat on you or leave you depending on how loyal of a woman she is, but that is not something you can prevent by being insecure.

In a relationship, you have to give the woman 100% of your trust and let her take care of it. If she doesn’t take care of it, there is nothing you can do about it. However, if you are constantly checking on her or asking her if she has been with other people, you are sending her a clear signal that you’re an insecure man who needs her more than she needs you.

That’s not how she wants to feel.

Yes, a woman does want to feel appreciated, love, wanted and missed, but she doesn’t want you to be insecure about it.

In a long distance relationship, it is very easy to ruin things by becoming jealous, clingy or even angry when she takes a bit too long to call you back or when she goes out with her friends.

Always remember this: A woman in a long distance relationship doesn’t have to put up with a nervous, insecure, jealous guy. She can simply start dating and having sex with others guys whenever she wants to.

In today’s world, a woman won’t feel ashamed for breaking up a relationship and hooking up with a new guy. In the past, when women had to save their virginity for marriage and stick by their man for life, that would have been a very shameful thing to do. However, in today’s world, if a woman isn’t happy, the society around her encourages her to move on and find love with a more compatible man for her.

As the man in the long distance relationship, it’s up to you to create, and keep creating, attraction between you so that even if she goes out and meets other guys, the only thing on her mind is, “I can’t wait to get home to phone my man. I just miss him so much and all these other guys are just jerks compared to him.”

How can you make her feel attracted to you? Watch this video below to understand how it works…

It’s Up to You to Make it Work

As a man, it is your responsibility to take the lead and make her feel the way she wants to feel in a relationship.

As long as her man makes her feel attracted, respectful of him and in love with him when they interact, a woman will remain interested. Of course, some women are immature and disloyal and there’s not much you can do about those women.

If she is still at a stage in her life where she doesn’t want to settle down and her girlfriends are going out and hooking up with guys every weekend, then you’re going to need to be really skilled at making her feel attracted to you and wanting to be with you.

If you don’t know how to make her feel intense attraction for you and really want to see you, she will probably just hook up with another guy and move on without you.

If you want to stop asking, “Is my long distance relationship working?” then it is up to you to take the next step.

I am here to help you if you want to learn how to make her feel intense love, respect and attraction for you.

You can make her only want to be with you, even though you are currently in a long distance relationship.

You can do it.

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