In today’s world, a woman can get her own food, buy her own home, lock her own doors and if she needs help in an emergency situation, she is perfectly capable of calling the police or fire department on her own.
She can now be a leader of men, pursue her dreams and change the world how she sees fit.
She can fight battles alongside men, be a stay at home mom, or party like there’s no tomorrow.
She can have sex before marriage, break up with a guy who isn’t treating her well and travel around the world for as long as she feels like it, without feeling like she has to settle down and get married to be considered a real woman.
The world is her oyster.
Yet, if she is like most women, she doesn’t feel safe on her own and still has an instinctive desire to feel protected by her man.
If she’s so good at taking care of herself, why does she need to feel protected by a man?
It is Still Dangerous For Women Out There
Unfortunately, despite the heavy police presence in today’s world, a woman can still be taken (and kept) against her will, raped or even killed.
Evidence of this can be found in the almost weekly TV news reports shown across in the world. This is as true for women today as it was a thousand years ago or even 10,000 years ago.
So, a woman’s instinct to feel protected by her man isn’t about our long forgotten “caveman days” or some other obscure evolutionary theory like that. Instead, her ongoing need to feel protected is simply about the fact that we still live in a very challenging and sometimes dangerous world.
The danger for women is not only about men who might want to hurt or kill her; it’s about the challenge of survival against the elements of nature. Despite our supermarkets, highways and smartphones, human societies are usually just a hurricane or tornado away from basic survival.
We’re not out of the woods yet in terms of having this reality completely under control.
Whether or not a woman is consciously aware of the fact that we’re only a hurricane or tornado away from basic survival, she is still naturally going to feel more attracted to a man who seems like he would keep her safe under any circumstance.
This is her natural instinct and it isn’t something that women will be changing anytime soon.
Hard-Wired Human Instincts Don’t Go Away Overnight
For most of human history, a woman had to rely on a man to physically protect her and her offspring.
If a man was unable to protect her, she was at risk of being taken advantage of, hurt or even killed by other men who didn’t have to worry about being sent to prison or being shamed on TV by the media.
For 99% of human history, there was no TV, no telephone to call the police and no advanced medical treatments for serious and painful injuries. It was basically the survival of the toughest. The physically weak could be taken advantage of and they often were.
Only in the last 50 to 100 years have women begun to feel safe when home alone or while walking along some well-lit streets at night without the protection of a man by her side. It really depends on the city though because most cities still have a lot of rapists prowling around.
According to a recent study, it was found that 68% of sexual assaults and rapes are not reported, so just because it doesn’t appear on the news every night, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t happening.
Despite the increase in feelings of safety while living in a modern, civilized, a woman’s instinctive desire to feel protected by a man hasn’t gone away. It’s a hard-wired instinct and it is difficult to ignore for even the most independent of modern women.
Should Men and Women Switch Roles? Should Women Start Protecting Men Now?
No.
Reading this article, some women may think, “Why do men have to keep us safe? Many of us women are perfectly capable of keeping men safe. We can fight in wars or even in cage fights for the UFC, so why can’t we be the ones who protect men?”
I say, “some women may think” because most women still like to feel protected by a man and don’t ever plan on fighting in a war or a bloody cage fight for the UFC.
It is awesome to see women on the front lines with men and even in the UFC, but that doesn’t mean that men and women need to switch roles. I don’t think that women need to take on the role of being “the protector” of men, unless of course an individual woman chooses to do so for her own reasons.
In my opinion, women add more value to the world when they “challenge” men to become stronger, instead of trying to “protect” men from the big bad world around them.
Why Women Challenging Men is a Good Thing
If women accepted guys without challenging them in any way, it would begin to eat away at the emotional strength of the human race.
Here’s what I mean…
When a woman interacts with a guy and rejects him because he is nervous, insecure and self-doubting around her, it represents a challenge to him to fix his emotional issues and become stronger, or face the prospect of being alone for longer.
If he doesn’t improve his confidence and continues on in life as an emotionally weak man, he will continue to get rejected or dumped out of a relationship with a woman can no longer put up with his insecurity and emotional weakness.
Instead of rewarding men for being weak, women challenge men to become stronger and over time, this benefits humanity by making us all stronger and more resilient.
In the video below, I explain the real reason why a lot of good men fail with women…including why I used to fail and get rejected.
Back when I was getting rejected by women, I had no idea that my lack of emotional strength was the main reason why women didn’t like me.
I didn’t know how to be confident and as a result, I would display nervousness and try hard to impress women in the hope that they would like me enough to give me a chance.
Rather than women rewarding my emotional weakness with sex, love and devotion, they rejected me. It didn’t matter how nice I was to women, they instinctively felt turned off by the fact that I wasn’t very confident.
In fact, most women felt emotionally stronger than me, which turned them off on a deep level. It was only when I worked out how to be confident and began displaying confidence in my interactions with women, did they finally start to take me seriously.
Women Made Me a Stronger Man
My wife and I at the beach. I recently got married after living the playboy lifestyle for more than 10 years. I had sex with more than 250 women, but immediately gave up that lifestyle when I met her.
It is largely thanks to the challenging behavior of women that I am able to write this article today with clarity and confidence.
Before women challenged me to become the man that I am today, I was nervous, self-doubting and unsure of myself. I had a low level job and suffered from mild social anxiety. I was still the same good guy that I am today, but I was mentally and emotionally weak.
Sometimes, usually after having a few drinks, I could work up the courage to approach women. Yet, they would almost always challenge me by behaving uninterested, asking me questions designed to make me squirm (e.g. “Why are you talking to us?”) or they would simply reject me.
They could sense my weakness and they didn’t want anything to do with it.
I felt horrible and I was deeply annoyed at women for behaving in that way. However, it wasn’t until I sorted out my emotional issues and became a confident man that women started showing me interest and respect.
Instead of rewarding me for my weakness beforehand, women challenged me to become a stronger man or face more rejection and lonliness.
When I became a confident and emotionally secure guy, women stopped ignoring me and rejecting me and began showing me lots of interest and falling madly in love with me if we happened to start a relationship. It was a nice reward to get for all the hard work I put into improving myself.
Back when I was getting rejected though, I really felt bitter towards women.
I saw them as being mean, bitchy and stuck up. I hated women and loved them at the same time.
Yet, when I became truly confident and was rewarded for it, I gained a newfound respect and appreciation for the contribution that women make to the development, strength and wisdom of humanity.
Now, I look at women with love and respect, for it is because of women that I have become the strong man that I am today.
Of course, me getting my dating life sorted out wasn’t the “wider benefit to humanity” that resulted from women challenging me. The bigger benefit was in the strong, clear-headed leader that I became and still am to this day.
Due to the massive amount of personal growth I had to go through to become a more confident, emotionally strong and socially intelligent guy (all to get women to feel proper attraction for me), I ended up getting promoted at work (three times within six months).
In response to the challenge from women, I went from being a self-doubting customer service employee at the bottom of the ladder in my office, to a respected leader of international company.
I didn’t only become a leader of just one team; I eventually became the leader of the managers and began to teach those managers about leadership. I rose above all of my prior insecurities and self-doubt and became a powerful, useful man for the world…all thanks to how women treated me.
If women had initially accepted me as a weak man, none of that would have happened and I would not be running The Modern Man today and helping thousands of other guys to transform themselves into confident, more capable men.
I always hear back from Modern Man customers who’ve not only fixed their dating life by using my advice, but have gotten promoted at work, improved their relationships with family and friends and become someone that others can look up to.
In my opinion, women don’t need to protect men from the big bad world.
Instead, most men actually need women to challenge them to become stronger and to be a pillar of strength for this world.
The Genius of the Masculine/Feminine Dynamic
When it comes to a sexual relationship between two human beings, there is always someone who is more masculine or more feminine than the other.
It is the masculine and feminine difference between two people that creates the sexual attraction, just like positively charged magnets will be attracted to negatively charged magnets and vice versa.
It’s just how nature works and it’s actually quite ingenious.
For example: In a homosexual relationship, one man is usually more masculine than the other guy and for a lesbian relationship one woman is usually more feminine than the other woman. In a heterosexual relationship, the man is traditionally the more masculine one and the woman is more feminine.
So, what does this have to do with a woman’s desire to feel protected by her man?
It helps us answer the question of why most women want to feel protected by their man, while some women are not interested in having a man give them a feeling of protection at all.
Generally speaking, a woman who does want to feel protected by her man is usually going to be a more feminine woman at heart. A feminine woman will be more interested in love and relationship that she has with her man.
Being in love and being with her man will be her number one priority in addition to anything else about life that she might be interested in (e.g. family, music, art, dancing, beauty, cooking, etc).
Of course, that’s not to say that a masculine man can’t be interested in any of those things; some of the best art and music of all time has been created by men.
A masculine man can take an interest in ANYTHING he likes (even if that means he works as a hairdresser or designs clothes for a living), just like a woman can take an interest in ANYTHING she likes.
However, what a guy needs to understand is that a feminine woman (the type of woman who likes being “the woman” or “feeling girly”) will be more attracted to masculine men who are focused on their purpose in life, who are confident and strong and who are generally considered to be a “man’s man.”
If a guy feels mostly attracted to feminine women (just think about the type of porn you jerk off to – that will tell you the type of women you turn you on the most), he will need to think, behave and take action in a very masculine way in life if he wants to attract a feminine woman and maintain her attraction in a long term/lifetime relationship.
The more masculine he is, the more naturally attractive he will be to feminine women.
Just in case your wondering, by “masculine” I am not talking about lifting weights to build big muscles. The most important masculinity (from a woman’s perspective) is in how you think, feel, behave and take action in life.
The truth is, you can be considered very masculine by women without ever lifting a single dumbbell in the gym.
Of course, not all women want a very masculine man.
The type of woman who doesn’t want to feel protected by her man is usually going to be more masculine at heart.
She may have grown up with a father who wanted a son (but never got one), so he showed more love to his daughter when she behaved like a boy. As a result, she developed a masculine personality and identity.
She might have also have been born with a more masculine energy, which is just as common, especially among lesbian women.
A masculine woman will be more interested in her career and will usually prefer a more feminine man who will essentially let her wear the pants in a relationship. There’s nothing wrong with a woman being more masculine at heart and having a more feminine man; if that’s what makes both of them happy, then go for it.
Yet, I have found that the majority of women who have a subservient man or feminine man, wish they had a more masculine man; a man who wears the pants in a relationship and naturally makes them feel safe and protected.
What I Love About the Dynamic Between Men and Women
What I love most about the dynamic between men and women is how it challenges men to grow and become stronger.
Instead of slowing the human race down by rewarding emotionally weak, insecure men with sex, love and devotion, women speed up the progress of humanity by maintaining their preference for confident, emotionally strong men.
If men were too afraid to stand up to the challenges of life and instead wanted to feel protected by their woman, what sort of world would we be living in?
Is it really the role of women to protect weak men, or are women achieving more for humanity by challenging men to become stronger?
I think not.
Men who see this as unfair simply haven’t yet experienced the type of sexual and loving bliss that comes from being a masculine man for a feminine woman. Nothing quite compares to it.
When a man refuses to be strong and happens to get a woman into a relationship, she will eventually lose respect and attraction for him and they will either continue on unhappy, or she will cheat on him or dump him.
I know this because it happened to me and because I’ve helped 100s of guys to get a woman back after being dumped for that very reason.
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Dan,
One alpha male to another lol how does themodernman play into this whole nature thing then?
Basically what you’re saying nature doesn’t reward weakness I agree with you however the whole modernman thing is to help guys who aren’t having success with women get success with women. You guys give mindsets, ways of going about things, conversation examples that allow weak guys (good guys sure) however still fundamentally weak to attract women who would not even give them a second glance lol. Sure he might people to attract women using your information but thats not who he really is it initially anyway its a lower ranking using tested & proven modernman techniques.
I dont want to say its cheating but it kind of is lol, not to sound cold and uncaring but shouldn’t these guys be left to work it out for themselves? The guys who have the balls, drive, willingness to do it will rise to the top the guys who don’t wont.
For example someone like you went through years of trial and error to earn the position you’re in now likewise with me took me 3 years or so to get where I am now it made me stronger, all guys have to do now is discover themodernman and own a credit card and have things at their disposal to attract women that really they would never have until they had gotten to certain parts in the process. Sure guys have to go through parts of the process but its fast tracked. The animal kingdom doesn’t have themodernman so why are we any different lol?
I’m a fan Dan mate dont get me wrong but little bit annoyed if I’m honest lol sure theres plenty of chicks to go around but the position is earned I busted my ass to get here.
Hank
Hey Hank
Thanks for your comment.
Mate, you have nothing to worry about. Think about this: According to the latest statistics online, there are 180 million active websites. If a man were to visit 20 new websites per week for the next 50 years, it would only equal 52,000 websites. In other words, most guys will (unfortunately!) never find out about The Modern Man. That is, unless I can continue making it more popular each year and become one of the top websites online.
In the meantime, enjoy the fun times with women. By the time more guys find out about The Modern Man, you’ll be a master at it and will be living an amazing life with women.
Cheers
Dan
Lol.. the animal kingdom doesn’t have themodernman…completely different environment and lifestyle for humans, had to laugh mate. An alpha male doesn’t get intimidated by other guys’ successes and see them as competition, in fact you’ll find that this is one of TMM principles.
This isn’t cheating in any way either, simply helping guys get stronger as a whole, so they aren’t ‘fundamentally weak’ anymore; also especially after femenists have had their input in recent decades (having bad AND good effects BTW), which has put men in the shit nowadays in the western world (America mainly), and a crappy, unhappy dating life is showing as a side effect of that.
Anyways as Dan said, you have nothing to worry about Hank, you’ll be at the mastery level before most guys learn this stuff, besides there’s like less than 1% of alpha males, and way more hot women out there, from my experiences anyways.
Keep doing what you do Dan, TMM has helped me become a better man as well as learning so much too, as side bonus; although I’m still on my journey to becoming a master at it.
BTW marvellous article once again, may be your best one so far! 🙂 And just heard your podcast interview on the knowledgeformen website, nice one man!
Hey Ahmed
Thanks for your kind words about TMM.
Hopefully Hank can see where you’re coming from there without taking offense. I’m sure you were just being helpful there.
About the lack of alpha males vs. hot women: Definitely. When you truly get to the mastery level with this, you realize how in demand you are as a guy. Women give up sex right away, but they then want to marry you or start a family with you. I don’t intend on cheating on my girlfriend, but if I ever did – it would be a nightmare situation where the girl becomes infatuated. These days, I look at hot women and think, “Yeah, I might give her a night with me” but I know that she’d want more than that.
I hope to hear about your mastery level success in future Ahmed. Enjoy the great times ahead!
Cheers
Dan
P.S. I will be appearing in another podcast for another site in the coming months. Will mention it on Twitter when it is live. My Twitter: https://twitter.com/Dan_Modern_Man
Great article, Dan.
It’s true women are actually doing the man a favour by not choosing him as their partner. That is the “proof” you needed to start working on yourself.
When you fail an exam, you don’t say “Oh, I have failed but I’ll keep doing the same thing to see if I can pass next time.” No, you study harder and you will very likely do better next time.
These products at the Modern Man are great to prepare you for your “exam” with the girl next time you have it.
Hey Javi
Nice analogy.
The toughening up of the human race has been going on since it started and I don’t think it will ever stop. We men need to become stronger all the time – it’s just how nature works. When you recognise the role that women play in making you stronger, you develop a newfound appreciation for them and their behavior, actions and style of thinking.
Cheers
Dan
hi dan i love your work i just wanted to know i live in south afrika and i was wondering if i could pay in rands and will a netbank account be surfic
Hi Ridah
Thanks for your question.
Yes, you can. When you transfer rands, just send the approximate amount. For example, if it was a $97 product, you would send approximately this amount: http://www.xe.com/currencyconverter/convert/?Amount=97&From=AUD&To=ZAR
Alternatively, you can link your bank account to your Pay Pal account and pay that way: https://www.paypal.com/ca/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=xpt/Marketing/general/NewConsumerLink-outside
Of course, I am assuming you don’t have a credit card. If you have a credit card, just buy the program and our banks will automatically work out the exact amount you need to pay based on the currency exchange rates on the day.
Cheers
Dan
thanks dan so much i see the flow is $97 so how much do i need to have in rands(zar)to reach that amount of $97 i dont kinda understand the money coverter very well i ndw to it ofcoz
Hi Ridah
Thanks for your question.
If you are unable to work it out, I recommend going into a bank branch to send it.
Alternatively, just sent approximately this amount of ZAR: http://www.xe.com/currencyconverter/convert/?Amount=97&From=AUD&To=ZAR It doesn’t have to be 100% – give or take 5% is no problem when sending money in that way.
Cheers
Dan
how do i remove my bitterness and hatred towards women? the reason why i am bitter and have hatred towards them is because me being a guy, a man(man as in human male), i have no choice but to accept and deal with the role, card i was dealt with, that i have to be the one to make something happen or make things happen with a woman, as in i have to do the approaching and starting conversations, initiating, escalating, taking the lead, moving things forward, progressing things, etc., The reason why is because it is not fair at all to the guys who grew up introverted, shy, quiet, socially-awkward, and because of that they are very likely to be a later bloomer, meanwhile as for women, women are very unlikely to be late bloomers in the dating and sex scene, relationship scene because since they don’t have to approach and make something happen with a man, they are definetley bound to have had their first boyfriend or share of boyfriends, lost their virginity before age 25 since their mating market value is very high when they are young, so even though they might have to keep waiting for guys to make something happen with them or guys they not attracted to make something happen with them, out of all those unwanted advances they received, their were bound to be some guys they were attracted to before they turned 25 and thus ended up in a relationship with them, and i also see you have too posted Dan, that why are us guys, men, supposed to embrace and enjoy the role of doing the approaching and escalating, leading, making something happen? How does that specifically give us guys, men power? me personally i would probably embrace the role if i was born with the alpha male skills and alpha male mentality earlier, it’s me more being bitter and frustrated on how i wasn’t successful with women earlier, did not lose my virginity earlier, because the way i see it, is that guys, not girls, are the ones that literally need to know how to get a date or a relationship, for guys it’s a matter of skill, a matter of knowing how to get a girlfriend, for girls its not a matter of knowing how to get a date or a boyfriend, relationship since for women it just happens out of thin air for them, since women are passive, but ya even as you say Dan how dating and relationships, courtships have changed in the past 100 or more years, why is the role of the man doing the approaching and asking out, making something happen, escalating the sexual courtship still the mans role and why is that one-sided role very unlikely to ever go away, how come that aspect of dating and relationships hasn’t changed?
Hi John
Thanks for your question.
“why is the role of the man doing the approaching and asking out, making something happen, escalating the sexual courtship still the mans role and why is that one-sided role very unlikely to ever go away, how come that aspect of dating and relationships hasn’t changed?”
Simple. It is the man who penetrates the woman during sex. A woman wants to feel girly in response to your masculinity because it triggers the exciting feelings that come with her desire to submit herself to you and open herself up to be penetrated by you. She wants you to be the dominant force that she surrenders to. Doing so allows her to swim in the ecstasy of true feminine surrender in response to the masculine.
A woman doesn’t want to have to approach a man, be gentle with him and guide him through a sexual courtship. It is your confidence and masculinity that turns women on. If you are too afraid to approach her, then you don’t have the mental and emotional masculinity that she needs to feel turned on by you.
If you were turned on by things like masculinity and confidence, then you would either be a secret gay guy or you would have a mommy complex. However, you’re most likely a guy who is attracted to a woman’s femininity and delicateness. If that’s the case, then accept the fact that the women you want are going to be attracted to a man’s masculinity and strength. Be that man for women or be single and bitter like you have been so far.
Cheers
Dan
Hi John,
The simple fact is that life is unfair. Millions of years of evolution has made males the dominant ones in a species and who do much of the work, whether that be in gathering resources, being the one who fights and protects, doing hard labour, making personal sacrifices, initiating a relationship, and maintaining a relationship. While for women, they have evolved to be passive and to take on the role of nurturing and raising a family.
Yes, it’s very unfair to the guy who has social anxiety, or is quiet and introverted. These things have far less of an effect on women since females are already expected to be passive, especially when it comes to dating. This can easily be seen anecdotally by going onto any social anxiety forum: the overwhelming majority of users will be male. The guys who don’t have great social skills and confidence will struggle far more in life and relationships than females with the same negative qualities. The research data backs this up as well: there are far more virgins who are male after the age of 25 than females after the same age. So you’re correct that women have it easier when it comes to dating, getting into a relationship, and in receiving sex, and many studies support this position as well. Yes, it’s unfair because those who are born and raised to be very social and outgoing will not face such hurdles, but that is just the way life is. You must do everything you can in order to overcome your disadvantages if you wish to succeed.
You’ll just have to accept the unfair truth that women have it easier when it comes to dating. Things aren’t going to change anytime soon and, quite honestly, most women would not want this to change because they are quite comfortable being the passive ones and letting men do all the work. Women do not have to do the approaching because there are plenty of guys who will approach them instead. Why would they want to put in all of the hard work, time, effort, money, and have to face rejection when they do not have to? Being bitter will only decrease your chances with women. If there is one consolation in regards to this unfair situation, it’s that your role as a man gives you the power to choose who you want to approach and ask out for a date. Generally, passive women are forced to settle for whatever guys come their way. A woman may never end up with the guy of her dreams if she waits around and hopes that he’ll end up on her doorstep one day. As a man, you can choose your potential partner and work to make her yours.
You only have one chance at life, so you have to work hard to overcome whatever disadvantages you’re born with and that your environment has given you. You have to work with what you have; there is no re-rolling the dice. There will always be others who are handed things on a silver platter while you have to work very hard and make tons of sacrifices to receive those very same things. It’s unfair, but that is just the way life is. It is a very human thing to think that everything must be fair; that everyone should be given equal opportunities and that everyone should be rewarded equally for the same amount of work. But that just isn’t how the world works.
Yes, it is unfair that most women are handed offers for relationships and casual sex on a daily basis with almost no effort on their part, but that’s just how things are. You can blame evolution and cultural traditions for that. You might be bitter towards women because of this, but you must understand that men who perpetuate these traditions are part of the problem as well. While it is a very noble thing to strive to make the world as fair as possible, no amount of discussion about how unfair and one-sided dating is is going to change millions of years of evolution: the female mind is sexually attracted to a man who is dominant, confident, and who can protect them. This is hardwired into the way their brain works and you cannot change that. You have to play by the rules of the world if you want to succeed, even if those rules are unfair. If you want a relationship, you must learn how to be attractive to women and put it into practice. You’ll have to put in the hard work and make sacrifices to make it happen, and whether or not you feel that is unfair is irrelevant. It’s up to you to decide if it’s worth the time and effort or not.
The best advice I can give you is to work on yourself to become a better person; practice your social skills and practice being better at conversation, exercise and eat healthy, learn to dress well and learn proper grooming, become a more interesting person through learning about interesting topics, work to improve your financial situation and income, and so on. It sounds like a lot of work, but you might just find that it is easier than you thought. You’ll find that your efforts will provide tremendous improvement in all areas of your life, not just in dating – but in everyday interaction, in forging friendships, making connections, getting ahead in the business world, and far more. This is another advantage that men have; since in order to go on dates, men are forced to learn how to be dominant, to take control, to be confident, and how to deal with rejection and failure. In doing so, they also learn the skills they need in order to succeed in many other aspects of life. Women, who are usually expected to be passive and submissive, are not given the same drive and motivation to learn these skills. This is perhaps one of the major reasons why men are more successful than women on average.
Despite the disadvantages one might have in life, there is one thing you must know which can work to your advantage: most people are lazy. Most people will only put in the bare minimum amount of work to get what they want. Most people will live life fairly passively and take whatever they can get with little to no effort required. If you put in even just a little effort to be more successful, it will already put you far ahead of nearly everyone else. So read up on becoming a better person, on being successful with people, and with having success with dating and relationships. Put it into practice and reap the benefits of a little hard work. Do not be like most people who expect the world to hand them what they want just because they think it would be fair. Realize that the world doesn’t work like that and that you must get out there and put in the hard work to make things happen. Life is unfair, but that doesn’t mean the only solution is to give up. Work hard and you will be successful.