This video has now been upgraded from 5 classic mistakes that guys make with women to 10 reasons why good men get rejected by women.
1. He tries to get her to like him, before she is attracted to him.
Attraction has to come first, even before getting her to like you as a person.
Women can like many guys as friends, but that isn’t the same as her feeling sexually attracted. You have to start with sexual attraction and then everything else comes after that. The fact that you’re a good guy is simply a bonus to women, but the main thing that they are looking to feel is sexual attraction.
Without sexual attraction, you are just another guy who is willing to have sex with her.
2. He tries to get her to commit to a relationship before sex.
Back in the 1800s and 1900s, getting a woman to commit to a relationship before sex was mandatory. Most couples lost their virginity on the wedding night and then carried on from there.
In today’s world, most women have already had sex with other men by the time you meet them and in many cases, the woman had sex on the first date or even first night.
Having sex before starting a relationship allows both of you to test out how you feel. It’s essentially like taking each other for a test drive and seeing if you want to buy.
3. Being too nice.
There’s nothing wrong with being nice to a woman, but it doesn’t mark you out as special. Why? Most good guys don’t realize that most other guys in this world are good guys too.
What marks you out as special is when you make a woman feel sexually attracted to you and you are ALSO a good guy. That is when you are referred to as a “catch.”
4. Being the friend.
Being a woman’s friend is not the same as being her lover or boyfriend. If you try to “grow” on a woman over time by being her friend, you risk being rejected when you eventually make a move because she doesn’t feel much or any sexual attracted to you.
Additionally, another guy can come along and take her from you within minutes by simply starting off with sexual attraction. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been her friend for years. What matters is whether or not she feels turned on by you.
5. Placing her above himself in terms of value.
Women (especially attractive women), don’t want to feel like they are doing a guy a favor by going out with him, having sex with him or becoming his girlfriend or wife.
Women want to feel as though they are lucky to be scoring you, so if you place a woman above you in terms of value (i.e. by behaving, talking, thinking and acting like you’re not good enough for her), it won’t make her think, “Wow! He feels like he doesn’t deserve me. I want him!”
Instead, the woman just accepts that you don’t feel worthy and she then hooks up with another guy who does.
6. Not building up sexual tension.
Sexual tension is built up when you make a woman feel attracted to you, but you then make her work a little maintain your attraction and interest.
When sexual tension builds up to the point where she really wants to kiss you or have sex with you, the release of that tension is exhilarating for both of you.
Most good guys don’t give that experience to women though because they want to be 100% clear that they like her and are ready and willing to begin a relationship ASAP, even if she is saying or doing things that he doesn’t like.
7. Waiting too long to make a move.
Most women give you a window of opportunity to make a move. If you don’t see the opening and make a move, many women feel turned off by your lack of balls.
8. Lacking confidence around her.
Just like we feel an intense attraction to a woman’s physical appearance, women feel an intense attraction to our confidence. I’m not talking about over the top, show off type of confidence, but the relaxed, masculine confidence of an alpha male.
9. Thinking that being a gentleman will win her over.
Being a gentleman is only appreciated if you are also making her feel sexually attracted to you. If your only approach is to be a nice gentleman, you will be rejected by most of the women you meet.
Some women may give the relationship a chance because they are enjoying being treated like a princess, but they will quickly get bored of the lack of sexual attraction. You will then hear her say to you, “We need to talk,” which is the classic, pre-break up conversation.
She then might tell you, “It’s not you…it’s me” or “I don’t deserve a guy like you” or “I need time to find myself.” Yet, what is really happening is that she likes you as a person, but you don’t make her horny. Simple as that.
10. Pretending not to be interested in sex.
Almost every woman you meet these days has already had plenty of sex.
Women like sex just as much as men do, but they can’t go around admitting that otherwise men will assume she is a slut and others (e.g. coworkers, fellow university students, etc) will treat her disrespectfully.
Most women are insecure about their looks and they actually NEED you to show your sexual interest. If you don’t, many women will play hard to get as a way to get you to show a lot of interest in them. Yet, when you show lots of interest in a desperate or needy way, most women will reject you.
To cut out all the mind games, just be honest about your sexual interest in her. Show her that by looking at her in a sexual way or saying, “You’re sexy…I like you,” but ONLY if you have already made her feel sexually attracted to you first.
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Dear Dan
I could sure do with some help as at 59 years old I am still a virgin !
Denis
Hi Denis
Well, you’ve officially broken the record around here. Until hearing from you, the oldest guy who was still a virgin was 48. If you’re still a virgin at 59, you most-likely have a lot of emotional issues. I’d recommend you watch Better Than a Bad Boy before you talk to another woman. Then, the next time you talk to a woman, she will actually feel sexual attraction for you and all you need to do then is escalate to kissing and sex, which I discuss in the program.
Cheers
Dan
Are you sure appearances have nothing to do with it. I currently have long hair and a goatee. Does this reduce my options ?
Hey Ben
Thanks for your question.
Appearances are overlooked if you are attractive to women in the more important ways, as detailed in The Flow: http://store.themodernman.com/in/58e9e6c However, as we explain in Dating Power (http://store.themodernman.com/in/ff7fdd), you should “dress for your scene” to make things easier for yourself. If you want to attract hot, stylish women, but also want to dress like a bum or like a heavy metal dude, then you will be making it more difficult for yourself.
Cheers
Dan
I’m in love with a woman whose husband died 2 years ago. We have been close friends, sleeping in bed together last year for 2 weeks while i was visiting her. We didn’t have sex because i was uncomfortable because her husband hadn’t been dead long and she was still very distraught and grieving and i explained i wanted her to want me, not comfort sex. She says she loves me and i am a wondeful man, for the last year, then tells me a few days ago that she’s seeing someone even though we had plans fo her to come stay with me for a month starting in another 2 weeks. I’m hurt badly and she seems indifferent. What do i do?
Hey R
Thanks for your question.
I appreciate that you were being considerate and respectful in the situation and I think you did the right thing. However, that would not be the reason she has begun seeing someone else. Essentially, it would be because she is not sexually attracted to you. Watch the video here: http://www.themodernman.com/how-to-get-your-ex-back-free-video.html
Cheers
Dan